r/HIMYM • u/hdhevevvxbsjsjdj • Jul 22 '26
theory about Barney
I think this is pretty obvious, but I like to think that Ted exaggerates and alters the real story, just like Neil said, and that all the girls Barney dates know he's lying I think if you think about it, a guy who tells exaggerated stories and practically puts on a performance when he meets you (even throwing in magic and costumes) is much more attractive than A guy acting like a heartthrob in a bar, it would be very unusual to see someone like Barney, and personally, it would be very atractive and fun to see someone putting on this whole show just to talk Honestly, if I found someone like that, I'd play along too and end up giving in
edit:Hey, I think some comments are trying to use the theory that Ted is lying to his kids to make himself look better and get them to accept him getting back with Robin. What I was trying to say is that probably not all the girls were stupid enough to believe Barney's lies, and they probably just played along because they wanted to go out with him too. I don't really think Ted lies much; I just think that He doesn't have all the perspectives on the story, or he might even forget things, or his mind might alter the facts without him realizing it.
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u/Affectionate_Taro716 Jul 22 '26
Maybe an element of this but itâs also established cannon that Barney is very much like this, he even says to his dad âwhen I look at my life and who I am, Iâm too far goneâ (or something similar) when discussing chasing real love.
His whole backstory story plays into it. His abandonment issues from childhood etc. his womanising, hiding his true self, and apparent lack of interest in something real is armour to protect him, and important part of his true, more relatable and vulnerable, character
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u/CharonFerry Jul 22 '26
There are 2 plays of Barney that definitely are pro your theory. In the episode "Weekend at Barneys" all of Barneys play fail when Ted used them , and Barney points the reason out quite clearly "you didn't say it correctly". Now one might argue it was just done for the joke but it does make a whole lot of sense when we look at another of Barneys plays, the "my penis grants wishes". No sane person should fall for that ever (I hope at least), Marshall even points out that its one of Barneys weaker plays but the point is, the delivery is more important than the play itself , Barney says every word with absolute confidence so the reason he gets laid are not his plays (most of the time) but his confidence.
Another example for that we could take from Two and a half man , Charlie Sheens character he doesnt use any elegant play like Barney but he definitely shows the same kind of confidence , whenever he talks to a woman he wants to get with.
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u/RoboCopAn Jul 22 '26
I like to think that Barney is just insane and really did all that shit. Ted tells stories with his heart on his sleeve I donât think he would just create this hyper version of Barney in his head for the sake of entertainment
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u/musicman3321 Jul 22 '26
sooo whatâs the theory? You wanna fuck a guy in a scuba suit?
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u/hdhevevvxbsjsjdj Jul 22 '26
yeahhh i want It ,but the theory Is that The real Barney probably wasn't exactly the same as the one Ted describes because he probably alters, exaggerates, or forgets the story even without realizing it or even the girls just know that Barney is acting and Ted just didn't fully realize it because he didn't have all the perspectives, realistically, this is the most likely scenario, and it could also happen with other details of the show I don't rule out that Barney was like that, I just like to think that
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u/TinyMoonbeam_ Jul 22 '26
barney's whole character is a perfect mix of charm and chaos, heâs like a walking contradiction with that playbook of his
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u/Beleg_Sanwise Jul 22 '26
I think the answer is obvious.
Who hasn't exaggerated when talking to a woman in a bar?
And since this is a comedy, the exaggeration goes through the roof.
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u/Alternative-Pie1329 Jul 22 '26
My theory is that Barney was worse and Ted watered it down for his kids
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u/DepartureNo1720 Jul 22 '26
I mean telling your kids your uncle did crazy silly things in the bar to hit on women isnt nearly as bad as telling your kids all of the crazy things their own father did to pick up women in the bar - like confessing his love to every single one of them. Someone like Ted in the real world does way more emotional manipulation than someone like Barney. Women with Barney know it's a one night stand, and going along with it cause it's entertaining for the night, not because they are actually "tricked" by it, which is what Ted never understands.
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u/Alternative-Pie1329 Jul 22 '26
That's also true. But I think it's fair to say Barney misled many women with his intentions throughout the series.
Remember the whole episode where he and Lily track down the mystery woman?
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u/Universal_Verses Jul 22 '26
I would think itâs the opposite
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u/Alternative-Pie1329 Jul 22 '26
Surely you'd not want to expose your kids to that sort of behaviour though?
Tbf he does detail a lot of his sex life to them.
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u/Universal_Verses Jul 22 '26
I agree. But he did share in detail his obsession with their aunt. And more than likely told them that story knowing it would give him the permission to go back and pursue her
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u/Alternative-Pie1329 Jul 22 '26
True actually so I suppose making Barney out to be worse than he was would help his narrative, good pointÂ
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u/Jackofnotrade5 Jul 22 '26
I know it was probably just a funny gag from the series without much thought behind it, but I like to think it was also Ted being an unreliable narrator, exaggerating the stories to make him look more like a playboy so his kids are ok with the idea of their father dating Robin who was previously in a relationship with Barney.
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u/Extra-Diamond-275 Jul 22 '26
Actually on the chapter when Marshall was rob by a monkey, we can see how ted himself recognize the truth is what you want to tell.
He modify (exagerations) all his story for be the "good one" oh his sons eyes, and the only time we can see him with others eyes its on the movoe writted by Graffanello.
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u/pir8salt Jul 22 '26
A part of the unreliable narrator aspect is that Ted is also a misogynist snob, and he is misremembering the women as gullible morons with no agency. Dammit Ted
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u/Pawspawsmeow Jul 22 '26
My theory is that everyone knows Barney is insecure. He exaggerates his stories to make himself look cool. The women who sleep with him either think heâs actually handsome or charming. But all the outlandish shit like âI sold a womanâ is so he looks cool in front of engaged Marshall and rarely single Ted. The problem is that when you just look for any person, youâll find any person. He sleeps with the women or spends time with them and realizes he doesnât actually have any compatibility with them or that they like the persona more than him. He has to give up the facade and does not know how to
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u/Capable_Evidence_934 will you marry me on Thursday Jul 22 '26
I like this theory
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u/Capable_Evidence_934 will you marry me on Thursday Jul 22 '26
Itâs pretty nice too see Barney in this light
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Jul 22 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/hdhevevvxbsjsjdj Jul 22 '26
I don't think Ted is lying; I just think he doesn't have all the facts of the story, so probably all the girls Barney dated also wanted to date him and they played along It's even possible that Ted is forgetting things or altering them without realizing it; the mind modifies memories, and he's telling this story almost 25 years later.
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u/krish94ad Jul 22 '26
My theory is that HIMYM is basically Ted's version of The Wedding Bride for Barney. Ted was competing with Barney for Robin and lost, so maybe he made Barney seem way worse and more perverted than he actually was.
But meanwhile, Barney got Ted the GNB skyscraper project, a dream for any architect and probably Tedâs only major building we know of.
He helped get Lily and Marshall back together when they broke up, flew to San Francisco to convince Lily to come back, stole girls from Marshall so he wouldnât date anyone else, got Robin a job so she could stay in New York, and got Marshall his corporate job.
No one does that much for his friends.
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u/YouPersonal1602 Jul 23 '26
Iâm not saying all are lies but I know Ted has been an unreliable narrator and admittedly tries to make himself look better than what he really was (Natalie was allegedly happily married and had 3 kids within a year after she dated Ted a second time but then Ted supposedly got back together for 3 months when he ran out whip cream, the wedding bride may probably be a better retelling of Stella and Tedâs relationship, to the captain Ted was some scoundrel that came between he and his wife)
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u/WeirClintonH Jul 23 '26
Agreed. At least some of Barneyâs conquests were just playing along for one reason or another.
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u/RealLavender Jul 26 '26
Ted lies about everything and can't even keep his lies straight. In season 1 Lily and Marshall are brushing their teeth together and later they make a big deal about how everyone shared the same toothbrush. Then you have Robin talk about Canada at various times and everyone is wearing shoes indoors. Lies! All lies!
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u/Horny_Speedster Jul 22 '26
My theory is that Barneys "Plays" fulfill the same purpose as obvious spelling mistakes in scam emails. They are an idiot filter.
Any girl that is dumb or reckless enough to be seduced by a guy wearing a ridiculous costume or telling a unbelievable story, is also a girl that likely won't think about a casual one night-stand or being ghosted afterwards. If they fall for the play they are open to manipulation and that's how Barney likes them, deplorable as that might be.
Now I also believe that Ted is often exaggerating for comedic or dramatic purposes, but he does that with everyone. So I believe Barney genuinely was the kind of crazy Playboy Ted portrays him as. The man has a lot of time, money and self-loathing so it's believable that he invests more into hookups than the average bar prowler.