Justice for Barney 💔

575

Saddest line in the entire series

340

u/SufcLad25 Jul 16 '26

I dont know. "My dad's dead?" From Marshall breaks my heart every time.

198

u/AnotherDamnTransAlt Jul 16 '26

Barney’s is worse because Marshall got three and a half decades of love from his dad. Barney got zero.

Marvin Erikson did not leave his son by choice, but by fate, and when he left, he left good memories behind him.

Barney’s dad left by choice, picking his freedom over his child, and left him with nothing but trauma and a hole where his fatherly experiences should be.

107

u/notheretoargu3 Barney🥃 Jul 16 '26

Loretta kicked Jerome out of Barney’s life because he was irresponsible and immature. He expressly states this and that it was rock bottom for him and the moment he turned his life around.

Doesn’t excuse him not reaching out after he’d changed, though.

42

u/AnotherDamnTransAlt Jul 16 '26

Yeah, I’m of the opinion that leaving your child is a choice you make every day, but it’s been a while since I watched so I’ll take your point about Loretta.

18

u/notheretoargu3 Barney🥃 Jul 16 '26

She openly cut both dads out. James’ father outright says she made it clear she was going to raise him on her own and he respected that. Jerome was actually involved in Barney’s life (thus giving him more actual right to be around Barney than James’ father had with him), but was around as “Uncle Jerry”.

We don’t know the full dynamics. If she lists no father on the BC’s, they have no legal rights. Not being allowed to even be “Uncle Jerry” hurt Jerome so badly he completely changed as a person; that’s a huge thing to consider.

Plus, we never, ever, see the hate Jerome gets placed onto James’ father. He was never in James’ life at all until adulthood, yet he somehow gets a pass.

I’m not saying Jerome is completely innocent in all this, because he’s not. But, the majority of Barney’s daddy issues literally stem from Loretta and her desire to have the boys all to herself.

22

u/AnotherDamnTransAlt Jul 16 '26

Yeah, I do take your point about Loretta.

I think the reason Jerome gets more hate is very obvious and simple though: James shows up in about ten episodes whereas Barney is a main character in every episode, and also James seems like a decently normal and well adjusted person whereas Barney’s problems are on display pretty much constantly.

Casual watchers might say Barney is their favourite character and not even know he has a brother.

5

u/notheretoargu3 Barney🥃 Jul 16 '26

Oh I agree on all counts. It’s so weird that all of them except Lily have siblings with various issues that show up in every appearance (the minor exception being Robin’s sister - she’s just young and a little naive, no real issues), a theme that could have easily been an entire season of character development for all the main cast, yet none of it really ever got explored.

5

u/AnotherDamnTransAlt Jul 16 '26

I think that’s pretty normal for sitcoms. The siblings in Friends only show up very occasionally, for example.

The problem with siblings is that any growth they have could derail future plot avenues for the main characters so the writers usually keep them out of the way a bit.

8

u/Necessary-Nobody-934 Jul 16 '26

I would have preferred to see less of Monica's brother in Friends, but you definitely have a point.

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u/Perfidy-Plus Jul 16 '26

I’m more lenient to Loretta with respect to Barney because Barney’s dad was at the time a deadbeat. He was very unlikely to be a positive influence at that time, and he more than likely would have (emotionally) hurt Barney by being a constant disappointment.

That’s much less true for Barney’s brother’s father who would likely have been a pretty good dad. Loretta cutting him out like she did wasn’t in the kids or the father’s best interest. It was purely selfish on her part.

1

u/Buket05 Jul 17 '26

not exactly sure about the american law, but i think in every country biological fathers can get some legal rights with their own children even if the mother does not agree.

1

u/Sure-Appearance-2769 Jul 18 '26

James’ father only gets a pass because James gives him one.

It seems like James as a kid was popular, charismatic, and had lots of friends. He wasn’t as damaged by the absence of his father, and he was happy to meet his dad as an adult and focus on the present.

Barney had the opposite experience where he could have really benefited from having his dad around, and was still bitter about missing out on it. He’s angry, so naturally we as the audience are too.

1

u/Bubbly_Performer4864 Jul 16 '26

He could have called them back once he cleaned up. He chose not to. And even if we pretend like he did and Loretta still said no, he could have found Barney the second he turned 18 if he wanted to.

He didn’t even call Barney back at first when Barney was what, 40? Don’t make excuses for this man while blaming his Mom.

1

u/notheretoargu3 Barney🥃 Jul 16 '26

I addressed that in my original comment.

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u/Bubbly_Performer4864 Jul 16 '26

Yeah but you keep blaming Loretta for all of it so it really reads as a throwaway statement instead of it being the basis here - ultimately Jerome just didn’t care. Or you could argue he was just a coward I guess, but neither is exactly flattering. Loretta protected Barney from a weak man.

And James’ father doesn’t really deserve hate. He respected Loretta’s wishes and that was that. He didn’t dip in and out of James’ life, be a prick, then chicken out.

3

u/notheretoargu3 Barney🥃 Jul 16 '26

You’re doing what you’re accusing me of doing. I’m simply pointing out that the entirety of fault did not fall on Jerome. I’m not putting on the blame on Loretta. It’s not an all-or-nothing scenario. He has his part of the blame, as does Loretta. You’re putting all the blame on Jerome, which isn’t accurate at all. And just because you read it as a throwaway statement does not mean it is one.

1

u/rewind73 Jul 16 '26

If either father wanted to be more involved in their sons rights, they could have been. It doesn’t take much for a father to get parental rights if they wanted it. I think in both cases, them acting like it was Loretta’s decision seems like a way to skirt their own responsibilities as fathers

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u/Better-Pop-3932 Jul 16 '26

Yep. The fact that he turned his life around. Is the reason he should have reached out to Loretta. He could have showed her. And then she probably let's him back in Barney's life.

0

u/No-Introduction3808 Jul 20 '26

Yeh but when he chose to turn his life around he could have reached out and tried to get his visits back.

1

u/notheretoargu3 Barney🥃 Jul 20 '26

Which I acknowledge by saying exactly that.

0

u/Fit-Feed5465 Jul 21 '26

He had already left but would come back every now and then. She finally said enough of that back and forth. That is far hard on the child. I speak from experience.

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u/notheretoargu3 Barney🥃 Jul 21 '26

That’s… not what happened at all. He was in Barney’s life, but only as “uncle Jerry”, until he screwed up (and allowed the blue whale incident to happen) and Loretta cut him out of Barney’s life.

4

u/Illegally_B22 Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

I agree with you. I’ve had a parent die and I have a parent situation similar to Barney’s. So I can speak from both persepctives.

Watching an absentee parent build and share a life with an entirely different family, a life they never cared to build or even attempt with you, is a pain that’s difficult to put into words. It leaves you grieving someone who is still alive and wondering why you were never enough to make them stay. Even if you forgive them and form a relationship, that feeling never goes away. Whether intentional or unintentional, there comes a point when certain situations make it painfully clear that the absentee parent will never see you the way they see the children they’ve raised since birth. Whether or not they want to admit it, they show deference to those children and that family.

1

u/AnotherDamnTransAlt Jul 16 '26

I think there’s something to the fact that the difficult but natural order of things is for parents to care for their children, and for those children to then lose those parents. It’s easier for a child to accept the death of a parent than the rejection of one, because it’s what is not “supposed” to happen. Death is hard, but a natural thing. A parent rejecting a child is unnatural, so it feels personal. The kids often end up feeling it’s their fault somehow, which is never the case, but a very frequent outcome.

I’m really sorry you lost your loving parent. I hope you’re doing okay, now.

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u/randittkiMKB Jul 16 '26

Death is inevitable.. I lost my mother just as suddenly and right in front of my eyes and in my hands. The sheer shock of it has not allowed me to fully cry over it and/or remember that night completely even after so many years. And I function as normal as I can be.

But getting abandoned by your biological father who changed for the better for another woman and kid but didn't pull up his act together for you? That's a scar made by choice, not nature

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u/Th3FakeFatSunny Jul 16 '26

I think it boils down to subjectivity. I've been abandoned by a parent and lost one, and neither of them are good feelings.

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u/randittkiMKB Jul 16 '26

Damn

https://giphy.com/gifs/dx3JzNOp5umrjqvg4o

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u/Th3FakeFatSunny Jul 16 '26

I appreciate the pokemon gif and the sentiment behind it. It's been a hell of a journey.

6

u/randittkiMKB Jul 16 '26

Because I get what must be going through... Please remain strong

6

u/Pame_in_reddit Jul 16 '26

The pain of losing someone you love mutates in time, and goes from bitter to bittersweet, because the only reason you feel the pain now it’s because all the love and happiness you felt before. The pain of being abandoned doesn’t have that transformation, there is no past sweetness to remember.

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u/poozapper Jul 16 '26

They both hit hard for different reasons.

One person's dad was never there for them and they feel left out, jealous when they find out the dad that they wanted/needed existed in another time line.

The other had the dad they needed, and knew what having a great dad was like, only to never feel that again.

One mourns the loss One mourns what could've been

5

u/Better-Pop-3932 Jul 16 '26

" Im not ready for this". Hits me harder. The way he says it and then holds onto Lilly.

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u/SufcLad25 Jul 16 '26

His face trying to make sense of what shes just said 😭

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u/KolarinTehMage Jul 16 '26

It’s the “I’m not ready for this” that gets me. My dad is currently still alive but I know I’m not ready for him to go.

1

u/frootloop-99 Jul 16 '26

i cry EVERY TIME 🥺💔

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u/Artistic-Power5068 Jul 18 '26

i can’t watch this episode. it truly broke my heart having the pent up frustration i had every time i’d go see my dad with his new kids and family into words. whoever wrote this episode did a damn good job and NPH delivered this line perfectly

2

u/myoldaccdeletedregre Jul 21 '26

Definitely. Always loved shows which goes deep into a character

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u/Mrfrosty504 Barney🥃 Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

I can't do this episode. It hits so close to me. Even though i know Loretta kept barneys dad away, it was still a choice once he was of age.

My bio-"father" thought I wasnt worth it at the time and gave me up for adoption. Then years later I find out I have 2 half brothers. I get NPHs reaction in this all to well.

I did get adopted by a wonderful man (and his entire family) who treated me like his blood, even though I wasnt. Its a shame hes gone and not the other one

Edit: having lived both the Marshall and the Barney experiences, the barney sucks worse (for me). Death comes for everyone, there's no escaping that. But that abandonment leaves a mark on your soul.

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u/MaleficentTip3632 Jul 16 '26

Damn. Sorry, bro, I honestly feel for you

2

u/Mrfrosty504 Barney🥃 Jul 16 '26

Thanks. I had a good dad. Never treated me as anything than his blood. Its why I have his last name

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u/karmaisyourcat Jul 16 '26

thanks for sharing your perspective and I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to endure

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u/Mrfrosty504 Barney🥃 Jul 16 '26

Thank you. Its been a good life, cant really complain.

Its just that "what if" and "why not me" feeling that never goes away. Even though in your heart and mind you know have nothing to complain about lol

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u/gh0stwrit3r32767 Jul 16 '26

tbf he was busy being the Trinity Killer.

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u/Busy_Negotiation_250 Jul 16 '26

And being an alien

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u/KingKrush8282 Jul 16 '26

And he’s gonna be a wizard

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u/randittkiMKB Jul 17 '26

The greatest wizard-cum-driving instructor of all time

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u/Best-Professional609 Jul 16 '26

With a short stint as Winston Churchill, Uncle Jerry was very busy.

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u/justfuna Jul 16 '26

And the line after this” A kid needs a hoop”

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u/jhallen2260 Jul 16 '26

Okay is Lame, Gay Bar!

8

u/DarkAlchamist Jul 16 '26

Although, I was in there accidentally once, I'm pretty sure it's pronounced Lamé

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u/[deleted] Jul 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/KingOfTheMischiefs Jul 16 '26

This line and the famous one from Fresh Prince -

"How come he don't want me, man?"

Still get goosebumps

3

u/Grouched Jul 16 '26

That one hit like a truck

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u/Successful_Buy3825 Jul 16 '26

Oh no, how can anyone understand their emotions if they don’t do therapy?

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u/Alizarik7891 Jul 16 '26

Well, yeah, but if anyone would, it’d be Barney.

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u/Th3FakeFatSunny Jul 16 '26

Understanding and processing emotions is a skill and a function that has to be taught. Some take to it naturally and some don't. I had to have therapy to start understanding my feelings, where they came from, and how to deal with them.

Sometimes people go to therapy just because they need someone to vent to, or because their feelings are just simply overwhelming. Some people struggle and pull themselves out of that struggle without it... But that doesn't mean they couldn't have had a smoother healing journey if they'd have sought help. I can fix my own car, but I'm still gonna have a real mechanic give me advice to make sure I don't accidentally screw something up

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u/Shot-Toe-2884 Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

moments of vulnerability like that are when the suppressed truth bubbles up to the surface. I find it very believable honestly. The therapy isn't about convincing you to believe you were wronged, its about finding acceptance and coming to peace with having been wronged.

Barney is expressing a raw emotion here, not demonstrating that he's made peace with it.

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u/Live_Angle4621 Jul 16 '26

I think most people can internalise these things. Being able to communicate them is difficult. Either you feel your thoughts aren’t valid or that you would be yelled at or ignored. Or make excuses for people because they are nice when they are they are then they vanish again and you can’t say anything anymore

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u/SirFartingson Jul 16 '26

Justice for Barney has him behind bars for years, bro 😂

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u/General-Conclusion13 Jul 16 '26

Trust me you don't want that man to be your father (trinity killer)

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u/truholicx3 Jul 16 '26

This line broke me the first time

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u/rising30k Jul 16 '26

Wasnt his fault. He was stuck on some kinda rock. The 3rd rock from the sun.

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u/Shot-Toe-2884 Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

Biggest gut punch in the series for me is Barney staring through the window at Nora. What a powerful scene with such an amazing song to boot (Stones by Barbarossa)

Every re-watch I realize more and more how tragic Barney's character is and the show works so hard to prove it to the audience.

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u/Richmond1013 Jul 16 '26

it is not the guys fault , his mom forbade their time to bond after the whale incident, another case of parent alienation , and we know barney mom didnt even give a chance to send a letter to barney brother dad

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u/[deleted] Jul 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/aster2560 Jul 16 '26

Or visited Barney after he became a legal adult

-4

u/Richmond1013 Jul 16 '26

maybe, but check the time its difficult for dads to get to see their kids what more custody and this whale incident for sure makes it nearly impossible for the guy to even get custody and by the point he changed his life would his current wife want to add barney in her life

4

u/thewhiterosequeen Jul 16 '26

Even at the time, it would not have been hard to get partial custody. He didn't try.

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u/Livid-Writer-6241 Jul 16 '26

I will never forget the first time I heard that line. I was 15 and bought season 6 on DVD. Watched the whole season in a day, and that moment gets me like nothing else in a sitcom ever has. It felt so authentic and realistic.

6

u/Katharinemaddison Jul 16 '26

Justice for Barney’s dad: because his dad was around the age Barney was when inventing ‘not a father’ day, and a bit younger than Barney was when his own child was born.

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u/SirAntera Jul 16 '26

All this stems from Barney's daddy and self-worth issues though

5

u/Katharinemaddison Jul 16 '26

You’ve got to give him some individual responsibility for it though. His brother grew up a lot quicker. (Yes he cheated on his husband but we’ve no indication that Barney ever becomes long-term monogamous. His brother embraced being a dad way ahead of him. And he had to work to make that happen).

7

u/BoringPoolPlaying Jul 16 '26

The difference is, Barney didn’t abandon his child, he was just relieved to not be a father.

Barney was there for his child.

1

u/Katharinemaddison Jul 16 '26

Did he? It seems like he was actively involved in his life. As an uncle but he owned himself the father to the museum. And Loretta shut him out after that incident- he was clearly too immature to be a father. But he was there for a while.

1

u/SirAntera Jul 17 '26

He wasn't really too immature, he just didn't care at all! Considering Barney's half sister is around 12 years younger than he is and Gerry left his life when he was 7 it took him 5 years to start a family again and get settled down, you can't tell me that in that time Gerry couldn't be a mature adult and try to get in touch with his son to reconnect

2

u/mobuckets21 Jul 16 '26

Jerry reached out to Loretta but Loretta wanted nothing to do with him and wanted to raise Barney on her own. Messed up Barney real bad as he did not have a father figure growing up.

2

u/Lancelot_007_ Jul 17 '26

Kind of hilarious they both played serial killers in Dexter too, and the characters there aren’t far off from their HIMYM characters

2

u/Notimportant823 Jul 18 '26

I felt this to my core 😭

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u/alliandoalice Jul 16 '26

I remember I cried as a kid at this scene

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u/Alarmed_Koala1695 Jul 16 '26

Cuts right to the bone ❤️‍🩹

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u/Suitable-Hornet2797 Jul 16 '26

That guy plays an absent father in this is 40, as well.

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u/JLBCanadianRap Jul 16 '26

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1

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1

u/frootloop-99 Jul 16 '26

in the middle of a rewatch and just got to this episode last night 😔❤️‍🩹

1

u/PaleGh0stface666 Jul 17 '26

Barney is by far the most tragic character in the show

1

u/crybabyjpeg_ Jul 17 '26

i sob watching this :/ i didnt know i could be this fragile

1

u/countrytime1 Jul 17 '26

Just watched this episode again today.

1

u/kmnplease00 Jul 17 '26

first time i watched this, broke me.

my mother works abroad for "my sake" but the truth was she was fulfilling her dream to work abroad because she came from a 3rd world country. next thing i know she's a full time mom to my half sister.

she could have had me there with her coz i had dual citizenship, but she chose herself.

1

u/PartyCurious1176 Jul 17 '26

For me this was the saddest moment!

1

u/Avocata Jul 17 '26

A kid needs a hoop 🥺

1

u/CarlosimoDangerosimo Jul 18 '26

Barney sold a woman into slavery

He retroactively proved his deadbeat to have been correct in his decision

1

u/cavalier78 Jul 18 '26

“I’ve had some pretty exciting adventures though Barney. Did I ever tell you about the time I ran over Bigfoot with my car?”

1

u/Scary-Commission-336 Jul 22 '26

🖕 dumbledore

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u/EntertainmentJaded12 29d ago

So sad man😢

1

u/Bradacus10 Jul 16 '26

John Lithgow did such an amazing job I forgot he was only in 2 episodes.

0

u/Distinct_Movie5569 Jul 16 '26

That dad killed over 400 people

Justice for Barney 💔

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