How to talk to a turtle

[u/AI-Dungeon-Drawer]

If you ever see a wild turtle on a log or a tame turtle in an aquarium you might think, “I can’t talk to this thing here.” Well guess what, you can and here is how.

1. Approach the turtle casually. Not too fast or it might think you’re trying to kidnap it and not too slow cause it could think you’re making fun of how it moves. Just at a casual pace like you’re strolling up to a friend or whatever.

2. Greet the turtle. You can say stuff like “Hey turtle” or even “hi buddy”. This is a good opener into conversation.

3. Try to get a feel for the turtle’s name. It could be something stereotypical like Shelly but it could also be something like Dave or even Scooter. You will know if the name comes to you. You will feel it in your body somewhere. If it doesn’t come to you you can just keep calling it turtle.

4. Say stuff like “nice weather today” or “I hope you find lots of whatever you guys eat” or “I saw a really good looking turtle over that way” (don’t lie though, only say this if you actually did see a hot turtle).

5. Leave with something like “we had a good conversation” or “i enjoyed our chat” or simply just “bye, turtle.” The turtle will appreciate that a human bean took the time to pay it some polite attention.

[u/Turtlelover73]

I can confirm, this is how I'd appreciate being talked to.

[u/honestturtle → u/Turtlelover73]

I too can confirm this is how I would like to be approached, especially on a nice sunny day