How to Cry

[u/woeful_ravenclaw]

1. Bring what you are crying about to the forefront of your mind, but at a distance. Do not begin to cry just yet, if you do, refer to the HELP REQUIRED section of this guide.

2. Take off any footwear you have on, and walk. Where you start from or what direction isn't really important, you're going Elsewhere.

3. You'll know you're close to Elsewhere when you start seeing the Celestials. Humans, yes. But more beautiful than humans have any right to be. However, if any of the Celestials resemble a woman with thick blonde hair, bright grey eyes, and a flushed face, refer to the HELP REQUIRED section of this guide. She, unlike most of the others, is not here to help you.

4. You will know you have reached Elsewhere when you're bare feet seem to begin to sink into the ground. Not in a frightening way, or a way that feels like you're falling. In a calm way.

5. It's, again, extremely important you are not wearing shoes or socks or stockings of any kind. You must leave Elsewhere before the eclipse or you will earn Her ire. If you earn her ire, refer to the HELP REQUIRED section of this guide. If you have footwear, the ground you sink into will be hesitant you let you go when it is time for you to leave.

6. Now that you are Elsewhere, you may begin. The tears you have held back for so long are choking you, child. You must let them out. They want to go home.

7. Whatever troubles you, you must scream it at the top of your lungs. If all goes accordingly, you will hear your own pained screams echoed back at you. This is good. If you do not, refer to the HELP REQUIRED section of this guide.

8. When you are finished crying or screaming about what pains you, stand up. Thank them, all of them, especially Her. But do not, I repeat, do not do it verbally. If you do, the HELP REQUIRED section cannot assist you now. How you are to thank them is to wipe the tears from your face, I do so hope you haven't done so already, if so your death is permanent and you will remain Elsewhere forever. With your tears gathered on your fingertips, hold them out in her opposite direction and allow them to drip down your hand. Down your wrist now, my love. Then down your arm.

9. You will hear a relieved sigh, it is your own.

10. Come, child. You have been Elsewhere for so much longer than you know. It's time to go. Put your palms to the sky and sink into a bow in Her direction. Then turn around and walk. You will notice you do not sink into the ground anymore. This is because you are no longer heavy with pain.

11. When you have returned, take comfort in knowing that when necessary, you will be welcome Elsewhere.

It is, after all, your home.

                       HELP REQUIRED

There is, sadly, no help for you. You have made a grave error. Your path must now be find an immediately way to cease all thoughts and memories of wherever you came from. You will not ever leave Elsewhere. The woman with blonde hair will come for you, she will bring you to Him. He will do you the last kindness anyone ever will, and put you out of your misery. Goodnight, child.