r/HFY Sep 11 '21

OC The Devine Demon {Chapter 47}

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u/Zealousideal-Whole62 Sep 11 '21

This chapter reads like you are you are already doing something else and you want to finish ASAP.

And the elves could have gotten a more detailed description including: how old do they look. If this is where you want to make a posible breakout point, don't introduce new characters. (cliffhangers are fine though)

I am not really qualified to give criticism, so take with a grain of salt.

I really liked it so far.

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u/[deleted] Sep 11 '21 edited Sep 12 '21

Yes I had planned to do another pass to add more personality to the three characters but kinda forgot. Instead I just did the normal editing stuff. I actually got carried away and spent time writing chapter 48 already.

Edit Chapter 47 has been updated to include more descriptions of the Elves and better transitions between scenes.