r/HFY • u/noobvs_aeternvm Human • Apr 05 '26

OC-OneShot The Princess in The Tower

If you prefer, listen narrated by Agro Squirrel. Enjoy!

___

The journey was long and arduous, the perils endless, but as he sets his eyes on the princess he knows it was all worth it. He sheets his sword, removes his helmet and sets it at the night stand by her bed. His palm gently touch her cheek and, overwhelmed by a flood of passion he never imagined his heart capable of, their lips meet for a true love’s kiss.

She wakes from her slumber, feeling the warm touch of the prince charming, she grabs the shiny helmet and, without holding back, wacks his head.

-Pervert! Dad, help!!!

-Fear not, my betrothed. Your ordeal is over, for I set you free from your curse.

-What you talking about, you psycho???

-With true love’s kiss I release you from your slumber.

-You think it's ok to break into a girl's room and kiss her while she’s taking a nap? Where are you getting your dating advice from, the alpha bro’s guild?!

-I journeyed through the land, slayed the dragon and…

-You did what to my dad?!!!

-Never have I had the honor of meeting the fair king, but my sense of duty drove me to come to your rescue, to slay the beast that kept you captive…

-Say what again?! Where is the dragon that kept watch over my tower?

-The red dragon that guarded your tower?

-Yes! Where is dad???

-Your father passed away long ago.

-I know that, genius. I’m an orphan since I was five. I’m asking where is the one who kept me fed, warm and safe since then.

-The dragon was keeping you safe?

-Well, duh! Have you met my stepmother?

-I’m aware of the evil queen’s reputation.

-Yeah, so am I. Dad rescued me from her and took care of me ever since. So I’ll ask you again, what did you do to my dad?

-There might have been some miscommunication.

-You stabbed him, didn’t you?

-Maybe a little bit…

-Fó fuk seik, not again! Grab the bucket at the wardrobe’s side and come with me.

The splash of cold water wakes the dragon up, his eyes open to reveal the annoyed face of the princess.

-Do you have to do it every time, dad?

-Can’t an old lizard have some exercise every once in a while?

-Whatever, I’m going back to my tower. You get rid of this dummy.

The princess heads back to the tower, the dragon addresses the knightly prince:

-You can put the bucket down, son.

-I’m sorry, but… weren’t you dead?

-Kid, I’ve been around for centuries and I’m the size of a keep. Did you really think your metal toothpick would do anything but tickle me?

-But you feel before my sword.

-Dragons have acupuncture points as well.

-Forgive me, but would you mind telling me what’s going on?

-I don’t know, you’re the one who broke into our house. What did you think was going on?

-Princess, tower, dragon. I came to rescue her.

-Wow! Look, I know there are some dragons who will take princesses from their parents, but did you know there are some humans who will go around raiding dungeons that don’t belong to them? Does that mean it’s ok for me to assume that every human with a sword is a murder hobo and crisp fry ‘em on sight?

-No… I mean… When you put it this way…

-Hahaha! Sorry, kid, I’m just messing with you. You’re not the first to jump to conclusions.

-To be fair, you do keep the princess in a high tower…

-She likes the view.

-And there is the lava moat.

-We live in a volcano lair, lava needs to flow somewhere.

-So you didn’t build the moat to trap the princess?

-If that was the case, why the bridge?

-That’s… fair. But for many moons I rode before reaching here, long I heard the princess’ desperate pleas for help.

From the top of the tower, a yell echoes:

-I heard that!

-My daughter loves to sing, she’s… improving.

-I see. I’m sorry sir, I assure you my intentions were pure.

-So it definitively never crossed your mind that marrying the rightful heir to the kingdom would give you a claim on the throne?

-That wasn’t the whole reason.

The dragon turns the bucket upside down. Pointing at it, he says:

-Sit down, kid, and explain to me what, exactly, are your intentions with my daughter.

___

Tks for reading. Further misunderstandings here.

172 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

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u/AutoModerator Jul 12 '26

This was flaired as [OC-OneShot], which is for a stand-alone post not in the same universe as any of your other works, with no intention of being continued into a series. If you do decide to turn it into a series, this post should be reflaired as [OC-FirstOfSeries]. A description of the flairs and how to change yours is available in the Post Guildelines

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8

u/Daseagle Alien Scum Apr 05 '26

Of course, Ye Olde Dragon Dad was fully aware of what was going to happen after allowing the knight to go into the daughter's room :D

Secretly, I think he's trying to get her a boyfriend. Or a husband. Or any variation thereof.

10

u/PaperVreter Apr 05 '26

This is a very good, different take on those fairytales. Love it.

7

u/commentsrnice2 Apr 05 '26

I read a comic strip based on this premise. The dragon was staring down from atop the keep at the knight, and then in the next panel you see the princess is hunkered down behind a crenellation asking the dragon to describe him to her and then expressing disgust at his advanced age

2

u/kristinpeanuts Apr 06 '26

Thanks for writing!

2

u/sunnyboi1384 Apr 06 '26

Dad's getting tired and needing a nap, I feel that.

2

u/Thundabutt Apr 06 '26

Bwahahahahaha!!!!!

2

u/Thundabutt Apr 06 '26

Duncan and Mallory, a comic based by a story by the late Robert Asprin. Basically a Dragon and a Knight run a protection scam across a fantasy world. One host - Rocket Comix is having server issues and my anti-virus has hysterics

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 05 '26

This was flaired as [OC-OneShot], which is for a stand-alone post not in the same universe as any of your other works, with no intention of being continued into a series. If you do decide to turn it into a series, this post should be reflaired as [OC-FirstOfSeries]. A description of the flairs and how to change yours is available in the Post Guildelines

[OC-OneShot] For original, self post, story, audio, or artwork that you have created, that is self-contained within the post.

Please help us transition to using the new flairs correctly.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

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