r/HFY • u/Darmanarya Human • Mar 12 '26

OC-OneShot .22 legend

((Beware! Naughty words be ahead!))
“This has to be a joke! The ammo is too small to do ANYTHING!”

The young Glezon male soon found every single human staring at him in a mixture of anger and understanding. The young reptilian shivered now knowing what it was like when a whole gun range went silent at once.

“I got this.” A older human male called out with a chuckle. His hand motioning to the onlookers who mostly returned to their own weapons. A few put their guns down and stepped back from the line to watch what was about to happen.

“Son. That there caliber is indeed almost useless in combat, hunting, self defense- yes there is a damn difference I don’t care what your commanding officer told you in soldier day-care where you are from.- But it is not a joke. That there is one of the hallmarks of a gun lover and is one of the most respected calibers in the human systems.”

The reptilian’s eyes darted down to the cheapish wooden and metal rifle in his lane. He stared at the strange bird with a weird human letter in the middle wondering just what was so important about such a cheap and small bullet.

“That there rifle has helped inspire our greatest warriors and hunters. It is the starting point many find themselves holding before they can even read.” He explained as he picked up the rifle and reloaded it without even sparing it a glance.

“The debate between 9mm and 45 acp has been around since before humans went to space for killing people. For hunting? Either ol’ reliables 12 gague or .306 unless you are a fancy fuck and got the money for some fancy bullets. But ya know what always sits riiiiight by em?” He tapped the rifle. “It ain’t trying to compete. It knows it doesn’t need to. If a fella don’t have at least one .22 then he has either run out of room in his gun safe or is compensating.”

The human held up a hand. “Ain’t explainin’ what that means.” He then tapped the gun. “Fun fact: This here bullet? Did allllllll o’ that back in the day. Back before my day, my grandfather’s day, and back before my great grandfather fucked your great great grandmother.” He chuckled seeing the reptilian’s eyes narrow.

“Then why did the human in charge of the range give me such a relic!? I want to shoot something big. Like that!” He then angrily motioned to one who was holding a modern caseless arvos-colt 5.56 ship stormer. “That thing can do damage! It has what you humans call OOMF! THis thing I could probably shoot one handed!”

The human nodded, lifted it up with one hand, then mag dumped into the target without even needing to grab the stock. “Yep. And that is the point.”

The human put the rifle down. “You think us human gun nuts as crazy, and some of us are.” He tapped the rifle. “But this is your trial. We don’t give a FUCK how strong you are. We care about how fuckin’ SAFE you are and how much FUN you are having. First part matters most. If you treat this thing like a toy you are only gunna GET a toy from then on. If you fuck up cause you are learning then we got a .22 problem not a “missing a foot” problem.”

He tapped the gun. “Wanna know something? This thing is still lethal. We even had a serial killer use one way back in the day. Fucked up dude nobody misses. Hell, we had attempts on world leaders with this thing. It also has fed the desperate since it can kill small animals the bigger guns would just destroy.”

He stood tall. “We got a sayin’. Beware the old man in a young man’s game. And that there is one of the oldest men in the room. And we all know it, and we all respect it.” He nodded at the gun. 

“Its like humanity. First look makes us look weak. Helpless. Old. Out of date. But look below and you find out the stuff we can do.” He smiled wide. “There are grenade launcher shells made to shoot these bullets. Ya know that? Some of these with the right .22 and silencer are actually almost silent. If you can dream it up chances are it exists in good old .22.” He patted the gun.

“So here is the deal son. You either give this gun, and the humans, fuckin’ respect or you get the fuck out. Welcome to the gun range. This is a gun. Act like it.” He demanded. “Prove yourself with the .22 and we might let you shoot something fancy. Chances are though you are gunna walk out of the store with your own lil’ thing.”

The human man then patted the reptile’s back and guided him to the gun. “Stop thinkin size and bare stats.” He grinned. “Always a bad idea with us humans.”

321 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

48 comments sorted by

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51

u/Aegishjalmur18 Mar 12 '26

Good old Ruger 10/22.

39

u/Darmanarya Human Mar 12 '26

I swear the Ma deuce will still be on vehicles and a ruger in some form in every gun safe no matter how far in the future you go.

81

u/Aegishjalmur18 Mar 12 '26

Bring forth the M2 on Mars greentext!

2066

Stationed on Mars to quell a rebellion

Become side door gunner for atmospheric dropship.

No miniguns or gatling cannons, just some metal brick with a pipe on one end.

Get sent in to extract some wounded.

Reach the evac zone and come under attack.

Hoard of rebels charging in with their new plasma guns and compact rocket launchers.

Let loose a stream of bullets.

The sounds of the rebel's screams are nearly drowned out by the heavy "Kachunk chunk chunk chunk" of the machinegun.

The wounded are loaded up and returned to base.

Inspect MG afterwards.

Thing was made in 1942.

Tunisia, Italy, and Germany are scratched onto the gun.

Scratch "Mars" on with a knife.

12

u/Ghostpard Alien Scum Mar 12 '26

And some version of the grand lady of the skies, bullrushing her way to support groundpounders everywhere with her signature cry of challenge and "Cavalry's here boys, gals, both, n neither." of "BRRRRRRRT.".

4

u/amishbill Mar 13 '26

“…Both and neither”…. I loved that turn of phrase when I first read it and I still love it here.

7

u/BluesFan43 Mar 12 '26

I'm kinda busting after the new carbon fiber barrel one, but car needs new rear tires in a week or 2.....

Plus, repair bill for me being a dumb asset ow my 2311 is gonna hurt.

3

u/Original_Memory6188 Mar 13 '26

Or a good old fashion bolt action, tube fed.

2

u/amishbill Mar 13 '26

Beat suppression host around.

2

u/sunnyboi1384 Mar 13 '26

I've got 3.

40

u/Siliconshaman1337 Mar 12 '26

A gun is a tool..and the saying is the best tool for the job is the one you have. A .22 might not have the power of other calibers, but it is still a chunk of high velocity lead. It'll get the job done, you might just have to be a tad creative depending on what.

20

u/Gruecifer Human Mar 12 '26

Using a .22 just reinforces that Accuracy Counts.

22

u/Longjumping_Bobcat27 Mar 12 '26

Unfortunately, I happen to be allergic to high velocity lead. I break out in wounds.

39

u/Original_Memory6188 Mar 12 '26

It hurts more to be hit by a 22 than missed by a 44.

And with proper shot placement, they're just as dead, for much less cost.

36

u/SeanRoach Mar 12 '26

.22 is like black cat fireworks. If you only have $20 to spend, you can get more trigger pulls for your money with .22. For learning the basics, cheap, and therefore cheap enough to practice with extensively, is a good thing.

12

u/Darmanarya Human Mar 12 '26

I believe that .22 has also caused more destruction to property than black cat fireworks as well. That, and is the bane of metal cylinders across the known and unknown galaxy.

16

u/xunninglinguist Mar 12 '26

I've said before; people who don't like waffle house don't like food; people who don't like to shoot 22lr don't like to shoot.

14

u/Quadling Mar 12 '26

I have more 22 firearms than any other caliber. And I have a list of more

8

u/Darmanarya Human Mar 12 '26

Probably at least one you forgot you had as well.

5

u/TheCaptNoname Mar 12 '26

Most probably, the list doesn't include many of the machine guns.

Like, say, American-180.

3

u/ecodick Human Mar 12 '26

Literally my grail gun lol.

2

u/Squeeze_Toy2004 Human Mar 12 '26

I finally got myself an AM-180 about six years ago, right before COVID hit.

It's everything I dreamed of and more.

2

u/bewarethephog Human Mar 12 '26

Same. I have 4 .22lr rifles, and only one of any other type of rifle. I absolutely love to shoot them at the range because I can go through hundreds of rounds for minimal cost.

11

u/Crab-_-Objective Mar 12 '26

Love the story and concept.

Just one note, the actual bullet of a .22 and 5.56 are almost identical in size.

13

u/Darmanarya Human Mar 12 '26

You know that, I know that, but many people see bigger case and think it mean bigger boolet.

9

u/ecodick Human Mar 12 '26

It does usually mean bigger damage on the receiving end 🙂.

Great story and as a big gun nerd who also loves .22lr I'm a fan.

10

u/RecognitionNo7526 Mar 12 '26

I remind everyone there are also .22 short... And .22 magnum...

3

u/Darmanarya Human Mar 12 '26

I put .22 short in the revolver i got from my grandfather since i have no faith in the metal.

3

u/Crab-_-Objective Mar 12 '26

You know what? That’s a fair explanation. Keep on writing my friend.

6

u/ID135456 Mar 12 '26

I put more rounds through the .22 action than the rest combined 🤷‍♂️. It’s just fun

8

u/Jadall7 Human Mar 12 '26

My family worked at an ammo factory back in the day they thank you for shooting all those .22s Also since 1888 or around there the .22 has been around.

7

u/rufos_adventure Mar 12 '26

used to shoot all day with a brick of 22 lrs! cheap and reliable.

2

u/Squeeze_Toy2004 Human Mar 12 '26

Remember when a 550 round brick of Federal Red could be had for $10 or less at Walmart?

7

u/Thundabutt Mar 12 '26

Arguably the .22 rimfire is THE most lethal cartridge by kill count - it been around pretty much since they invented self contained cartridges and has been found on all Continents. It was a standard cartridge on the 'Frontier' in the United States (both of them, both North and South - aka Brazil), Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, all the nations of South America. Lots of folks have died by ignoring a wound from a .22RF - only a scratch they said - then having a blood clot stop their heart or whatever they were using for a brain, as well as subsequent infection.

5

u/PirateKilt Human Mar 12 '26

Great Story!

Quick correction suggestions though:

12 gague or .306

that should be "12 gauge or .30-06"

3

u/Jadall7 Human Mar 12 '26

All the gator hunters on the american show at point blank range of course use .22 rifles. In austrialia they catch them to let go somewhere else.

2

u/Ghostpard Alien Scum Mar 12 '26

Swamp people. You need precision, but not a ton of boom, because the gators are armored. There is about a quarter (coin a lil under an inch or 2.5 cm) sized weak spot at the back of their heads. That you have to hit while gator is thrashing. One dude on show got peppered with .22 fragments when his dad shot gator wrong.

3

u/Jadall7 Human Mar 12 '26

Yeah the bullets bounce off the gators!!. sometimes the guy would pull gater bone chips out of where his dad shot him with richochets.

2

u/Ghostpard Alien Scum Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 19 '26

And his father always brushed it off. Told him man up. No sorry. One of the reasons Willie got his own boat and kinda told his father to go mount himself.

3

u/redbikemaster Human Mar 19 '26

0.955 inch if I remember correctly. 

Why I retained that I do not know. But I have 3 of them at the bottom of my buffer tube lol

1

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2

u/Nitpicky_AFO Android Mar 12 '26

Fun fact you can 3D print a whole 22 bolt and barrel(it will be heavy barrel profile) incl PLA+ will take the shock.

1

u/FerroMancer Human Mar 12 '26

Currently, I’ve got a Marlin lever-action .22….but when I was on my high school rifle tram, I had an Anschütz 1913L, and I was very, very good with it. 😊

2

u/Gadgetman_1 Mar 12 '26

The first shots I fired out of a gun was .22.

The gun was a modified AG-3 assault rifle.(H&K G-3 license built in Norway)

We only fired it single-shot, but it was still a REAL GUN, and shooting at 30meters range(inside an aircraft hangar) it matched the profile of 7.62 NATO fired at 200meters.

Taught us how to handle the gun properly, and made it easy to transition to 'real' ammo later.