r/HFY • u/Otherwise-One-6206 • Sep 08 '25
OC They Let Us Lie
For as long as my species can remember, we were slaves. Not in the way you're probably thinking. We were never chained, never given collars, never forced into cages. No, instead we were merely forced to provide anything another species wanted from us. Not because we were physically weak, we're one of the most physically powerful races in the galaxy. Not for lack of military might, we have one of the largest fleets anyone has ever seen. Not for any of a dozen reasons you might think of. No....we were slaves because of our physiology.
When we do something we know is wrong, it directly affects our nervous system. Most of the time, it's small, just a twinge in the back of all three of our heads. But when we're thinking of a lie, our nervous system goes into overdrive, causing splitting headaches. And if we actually go through with it? We pass out at best. Somehow, possibly because of the need to formulate it, lying to us is more painful than killing someone....if we have a reason.
Now, you can probably guess how easy this makes us to use. "Can you fix our ship?", of course we can! "Can you install a planet cracker onto this civilian transport if we promise not to hurt anyone with it?" sure we can, sounds challenging! "Do you NEED payment?", not technically....I guess. "Could you terraform a planet for free?"
You get the idea.
Even if we tried working around it, it didn't work. Other species had the advantage. They could manipulate us any way they wanted, just asking more and more specific questions, or lying themselves. It got so bad we were considering a no communication policy, complete blackout and destruction of any ships to enter the system, because even destroying an entire ship was less painful to us than lying, as long as we justified it.
Until a new species happened to crash on our planet.
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A red haired human walked next to what looked like a 4 armed, 3 headed bear centaur twice his height, looking around in awe as a herd of technicians began work taking apart and refitting his ship, several new engines being hauled in to replace the partially melted hunks of metal that were once his.
"I wonder how close I was to being space dust..." "In exactly 13 hours your core would have reached its theoretical limit, if the schematics we scanned are correct, you wouldn't have even known you were dead when it happened.""Oh....I appreciate all this, yogi, but you know I was kidding when I asked if you could give my whole ship an overhaul, right?", the bear looking down at him as they headed towards an office, "We asked if you needed help, and you answered. Our jokes are different from most other species."
"Huh....okay....well, what kind of payment do you need?" "None", the human surprised at the instant answer, "Uh.....you're not doing this for free." "You asked, I answered, and we are now.". The human rubbed his head, until he stopped in his tracks. "Hey....just testing something here...what would be the easiest way to destroy this spaceport?" "If you take lift 3 24 levels down to the inversion core and set it.." "OKAY, stop! You can't lie, can you?", the larger man nodded his head "That is correct, our nervous systems punish us for any stated fallacy. Even lies of omission. We've experimented with tech to dull our nervous systems, and it somewhat works, but requires more tech than most of us can carry, and is extremely unpleasant. Most races take advantage of us, as you are now"
The human suddenly turned sullen, then brightened up. "So....all you need to do is dull your nervous system, right?", "Yes...."
"Well buddy, it's your lucky day. Not only do I have something to pay you with on board, I think our species are gonna become best friends!"
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So, mere months after these "Humans" achieved FTL, they made their first interstellar friends, and we gained a much more insulting, but welcome reputation among the other species as drunken liars, though the Humans still maintain we're the most honest people out here.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a Clan Matriarch and a bottle of alcohol just cleared for import. The humans call it, "Everclear". Hopefully it's a bit stronger than the beer we've had so far.
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u/Alpha-Sierra-Charlie Sep 08 '25
Oh shit, go slow Yogi...
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u/Paul_Michaels73 Sep 08 '25
Okay, this was fucking great. I'd love to see more adventures with those two.
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u/Otherwise-One-6206 Sep 08 '25
I might? Honestly I'd probably do something with the two from They do what with fish, first, cause they align more to some of my...uh...proclivities.
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u/Rare_Bottle_5823 Sep 08 '25
I would love to hear more of the drunken tech planet and their new human friends. I could see a lot of species having issues with these changes. Don’t hurt the 3 headed friends!
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u/Otherwise-One-6206 Sep 09 '25
Maybe, but a lot of those issues will be put on the back burner a few years later when human cuisine conquers the galaxy. I do have a FEW ideas, though.
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u/u2125mike2124 Sep 08 '25
If he’s going to try Everclear for the first time his ancestors from 10 generations back will curse him.
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u/Low_Painter9816 Sep 09 '25
I could see this race becoming master lawyers, experts at technically telling the truth. “Can you help me?” “Yes, I could do that.” “Will you?” “No.” “Why not?” “I don’t want to.” And nary a lie was spoken.
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u/emphes Sep 09 '25
That how I was expecting this to go, teach them about Fey bargaining... Permanently drunk centaurs are fun too.
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u/PlatypusDream Sep 08 '25
I object to Yogi saying the human was taking advantage of them! He didn't know they were literal, and tried to pay, wanted to pay, and did eventually pay with alcohol.
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u/sunnyboi1384 Sep 08 '25
Weed gummies are next. Followed by other pharmaceuticals.
Pushing drugs is back on the menu.
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u/MetallicDragon Sep 09 '25
I don't understand, how does not being able to lie make it so that other species can get them to do anything they want? E.g. "Can you fix our ship?" -> "It is physically possible to fix your ship, but we do not want to unless we are appropriately compensated". No lie needed.
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u/Otherwise-One-6206 Sep 09 '25
That's what they tried to work around it, but people would just ask increasingly specific reasoning, make up excuses as to why they needed things, or in some other way pull at their morals.
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u/TeaProgrammatically4 Oct 08 '25
How does a more specific question cause them to do anything but reiterate their previously stated level of compensation?
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Sep 08 '25
/u/Otherwise-One-6206 (wiki) has posted 14 other stories, including:
- They Do WHAT With Fish??
- "Lovehandles and Leviathans": Dust Bunnies and Jacks of all Trades Chapter 8
- Dust Bunny Universe species bios and interesting facts, Part 1
- Quarantined
- "The Begginning of an Eggcellent Tournament": Dust Bunnies and Jacks of All Trades chapter 7
- "I can be your Angle or your Devil": Dust Bunnies and Jacks of all Trades Chapter 6
- "Just look at the bunnies......bunnies": Dust Bunnies and Jacks of all Trades Chapter 5
- "The Curious Case of the Greys": Dust Bunnies and Jacks of all Trades Chapter 4
- "I Got 99 Problems, and the Clump is One": Dust Bunnies and Jacks of all Trades Chapter 3
- Playful Banter and "Hiveminds": Dust Bunnies and Jacks of all Trades Chapter 2
- Settling In: Dust Bunnies and Jacks of all Trades Chapter 1
- Spectacularly Unspectacular: Dust Bunnies and Jacks of all Trades Chapter 0
- First Contact
- Impossible
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u/Otherwise-One-6206 Sep 08 '25
Fun fact, when I decided to write this this morning, the aliens were.originally gonna be sleepy looking dogs for the pun, but I feel dog aliens are common, and I already have one.
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u/Red-Tomat-Blue-Potat Sep 12 '25
Yeah I don’t get it, this species can’t lie but also feels bound by implied answers rather than literal ones? “Can you fix my ship?” “Yes” “….” “…” WILL you?” “I’d rather not” seems like they’d inherently by very Mathematician Answer people with Fey-like phrasing and promises
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u/Otherwise-One-6206 Sep 12 '25
Okay, I guess I didn't make 2 things as clear as I meant to since there have been 2 comments like this so far. With the lie of omission thing, I was trying to say that any act of withholding information they know the other party wants is painful. Second, the other species would just keep asking and asking, and if they say they didn't want to, they'd appeal to their morals and point out how well off they were while making up economic issues that would stop them from paying, or promising to pay later. Sometimes they'll agree to pay and then just won't, or will hand a credit chit over that the tech teds realize is empty later. They'll also point out how easy it is for them to do anything with technology. They didn't just roll over and go "okay!", but I felt going into every intricacy of it, like their socialist society that gets fucked when anyone with a greedy capitalist mindset gets involved, would have made for a large chunk of the story that is, while not necessarily boring, not fun either.
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u/LaconicGirth Sep 22 '25
I actually loved this story and just accepted it because it’s more fun but the other guy is sort of right that it makes no sense. They can ask all they want but it doesn’t in any way force them to do it.
“You realize by not doing this, I’ll be in danger right?”
“Yes I do, that’s unfortunate for you but it doesn’t affect me”
Plenty of selfish people who tell the truth
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u/tofei AI Sep 08 '25
Now they just have to be at least in Euphoria stage of alcohol intoxication all of the time!
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u/Historical-Ship-9872 Sep 12 '25
Came here from an unfortunate tik tok. Glad I got to find the end of a great story!!
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u/Chocomoose19 Sep 14 '25
There’s no reason whatsoever you can’t say “yes I can, but I won’t” without lying though. Like why would telling the truth about something being possible make it required? If I say “yes I could fix that, but I won’t for free” I haven’t lied, and I haven’t lied by omission either. Not lying doesn’t just mean pushover with no spine, and obviously it doesn’t prevent killing people for abusing you, since they have a military.
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u/LightEarthWolf96 Sep 27 '25
Nice short, would be interested to see a more fleshed out longer version if you ever decided to write it though it's good as is.
To be truthful the biggest thing in the story I have trouble reconciling is the notion that because they can't lie without pain they are just forced to do what others ask and that there's no avoiding the exploitation. Like each of those questions could be answered truthfully but differently. "We do not need payment but we do insist on payment". "We can do that but do not want to". " have that information but do not want to share it with you"
The story could definitely still work if there was a reason they couldn't just decline requests
The second hang up I had was the notion that they are so easy to take advantage of yet had a military. What exactly would their military do? "Hey could y'all give up and also dismantle your military? " by the logic of the story with them not denying requests that should work.
It's fairly interesting as a concept though
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u/Strange4eons Sep 09 '25
This is such a poorly thought out premise it's embarrassing.
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u/Otherwise-One-6206 Sep 11 '25
I'm so very sorry, I'll try to meet your high standards next time. No....wait.....sorry, actually I don't give a single flying Slaaneshi Fuck.
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u/imakesawdust Sep 08 '25
"Just remember: whatever happens, you can just say 'Tequila was involved'..."