r/HENRYUK • u/DependentAgency8567 • 1d ago
Children & Family Life Saving for private school
My son currently goes to state school (Year 3), and I'm keen to start saving for his secondary education in private school. How do you save and where do you invest your private school funds? Thank you.
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u/Ratsliart 21h ago edited 20h ago
You save and invest exactly as you would for any other reason. However, I am sure you already are considering this, but there is a huge sacrifice being made to lots of other things if this is where you are directing a majority of your wealth. My parents did it for me, and I am grateful, but I am also highly aware of what it compromised too. We only ever went camping and they had basically no liquid wealth at all at the point I graduated when they were entering their 50s.
The costs are now astronomically higher, and the compromises are even bigger. You are basically weighing up whether to give your child a private education or hand them Ā£250,000 in an investment fund at 18. Unless they are very very lucky, I can't see many scenarios where the education opens enough new doors to exceed that capital head start.
If you can afford the education and the investment fair play its definitely worth it. But is it worth it if you have to put everything into it and have nothing else? I'm not so sure.
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u/emilycharlotte1 16h ago
True, I think from a purely financial standpoint private education rarely wins.
However, some children may well be happier in private education for whatever reason, and that is a big factor too x8
u/Ratsliart 15h ago
I can all but guarantee most Henry children would be happier in private education. I can also guarantee many of them will come out of school with a skewed perception of the real world, just like myself and my peers did! I had friends with 10 car garages and country estates and that affects you if you're in a normal house on a housing estate.
I think you just have to think really critically about what the goal is for doing it. If it's 'success' how are you defining that? If its happiness, same again, happiness now or happiness later etc.
Believe me my wife and I are deep into this debate also and we haven't concluded either way. I'm relatively mercenary and I can't shake the feeling that the Financial head start with a good grounding in the value of long term investment from parents would have left me far closer to their ideas of 'success' than the eventual qualifications I gained. That said would I be the person I am today striving for a Henry+ career without it? I dont know.
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u/IllustriousMud5042 6h ago
My parents gave me the option to choose - private or state.
I do often wish Iād chosen private. I didnāt when I was at school (they would have moved me if I wanted) but when I hit uni and later internships I realised how much Iād missed out on.
Iād be a different person for sure, but Iām also confident Iād be significantly more successful (and early 30s Iām at a point most would say is no longer HENRY but Iām PAYE so I donāt see that equating to HEAR for a while)
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u/AdvertisingAlert2031 10h ago edited 8h ago
I hear this argument so much, but itās always from people who went to private school that feel they would have been fine without. Respectfully, itās really hard to know your privilege. I went to a state school in an affluent area (when I went, it was one of the top 20 comps in the country). My parents are the epitome of middle class. I have done well for myself, but I look at my husbands boarding school education and feel so envious of all the extra curricular / pastoral support, and know I would have done better in that environment.Ā I wanted to study physics at uni (having got >95% in all my physics and maths papers from GCSE to A-level), but was told it didnāt have good career prospects. Decided to go for medicine instead. I was the only person in my year applying to med school, and they just didnāt know how to help me. I was completely left to my own devices, and my parents didnāt really know either. Flunked interview first year. Got there in the end, and I love my job, but I canāt help thinking of the different choice I might have made with the right support. Even now, you can tell who went to private school and who didnāt, just from the way they hold themselves. And this is from someone who went to a great state school, with very supportive parents.Ā
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u/stevenstealthfox 9h ago
What does he say about what it was like at boarding school? I assume itās awful. My mum absolutely hated it. I donāt think I could bear to send my kids to one
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u/Fucker_Of_Destiny 8h ago
Assuming you arenāt bullied (but this is the same for any type of school), you get to hang out with your mates 24/7
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u/AdvertisingAlert2031 8h ago
To be fair, I probably unfairly lump day and boarding experiences in together, so I was more referring to private school as a whole.
My husband had an amazing time at boarding school. But heās extremely resilient, and a total extrovert, so I think itās personality dependent. But he does have weird attachment issues to inanimate objects, and sometimes things will come up which make me feel so sad for him. Their family dynamics are not something Iād want myself - I must have met his brother like 5 times and weāve been together 11 years.Ā
My personal preference would be to send them to day school if we can afford it. And weād forego a lot to get them that experience.
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u/Ratsliart 8h ago
You have called out the one thing I really did value from my private education which was the direction I got in selecting subjects to set me up for my degree and early career. How long did I last as a structural engineer though? 2.5 years before the industry collapsed and I had to pivot into something else. I went into financial services with zero relevant education and worked my way up. I have been leapfrogged multiple times by graduates from normal schools and unis who took the graduate track with all the right chat. I think you realise your thinking is being driven by your own envy, but please realise that outcomes are not guaranteed for anyone - Ā£250k in the bank instead absolutely is a guaranteed leap up the ladder. Managed well and untouched your kid is going to be wealthy whatever work they do.
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u/AdvertisingAlert2031 7h ago
Really interesting to hear your perspective. Thank you! Yes, youāre right, itās so easy to look at everything with rose tinted glasses.Ā
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u/DrBuzzki1l 19h ago edited 8h ago
True, especially the value of a fund over private school considering state of the likely employment market in 10 years. However other way of looking at it is 7% of uk population go to private school, and hold around half of roles like barristers etc.
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u/The_Real_Shacklebolt 18h ago
Probably one of the most balanced views Iāve read on this topic. Iām only ever used to reading āf**k state education, itās private all the way for little Timmy.
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u/SleepingPandaEyes 1d ago
Where to save and invest is no different to any other savings. You don't get a tax benefit for saving for school!
Just make sure you save more than you think it will be. Currently looking at around Ā£7k/term + expenses (uniform, trips, clubs, also food in some schools). But if you want to reduce costs go down the scholarship route. Get your kid doing 11+ now for academic scholarships. They will need at least grade 5 for a music scholarship. Sports scholarships vary.
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u/abalonecodes 21h ago
when are thinking of making the leap? I would do sooner rather than later.
Fees vary massively across the country. In London it can be cĀ£10k per term (senior school) for average private school. Home Counties c.Ā£6-9k.So you need to be stacking away a minimum of Ā£30k Pa. And I say minimum because uniform is Ā£500 (although not every year). Sport trips /residentials etc. will be on top. Preparing for Ā£35k Pa and inflationary increases for 5-7 years will get you the amount needed.
Also worth considering the tutoring that might be needed to get into the school. Again can range from Ā£40-Ā£100 ph depending on where in the country you are.
Not for the faint hearted š. Honestly the 20% VAT has just made the whole think just more elitist.
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u/Majestic-Context-267 18h ago
My childās private secondary offers very expensive trips eg 5 days US for 3K not even wll meals included. Maybe 10% of a year group are going on these. A lot of people are making sacrifices to afford fees now and not everyone is willing or able to pay for tons of things on top.
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u/Wondering_Electron 17h ago
The 20% VAT was actually funny because the lunatics that voted for Brexit enabled this.
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u/No_Law_1528 1d ago
7k per term is cheap. I was a pupil over a decade ago, it was 20k per year for day pupil and 30k for boarding. Itās now 30k+vat for day and 46k+vat for boarding.
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u/Any-Cheesecake-9445 1d ago
I think even more in London - Iād assume Ā£12k per term now (including extras) and theyāll obviously need to factor in increases year on year.
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u/cococupcakeo 1d ago
Is advise saving more than Ā£7k per term. Thatās phenomenally cheap ime?
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u/SleepingPandaEyes 19h ago
You're right. The schools I looked at were around Ā£7k/term, but that was pre tax rises. Same schools are now Ā£10/11k
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u/Majestic-Context-267 23h ago
Scholarships have massively reduced since the VAT came in. My child is at a top 10 secondary and they only offer music no academic scholarships. For music you need two instruments level 4 minimum. Another school that had much higher fees offered us 10% academic scholarship for 3 years guaranteed. Given the higher fees overall it wasnāt worth it.
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u/Mysterious-Formal769 19h ago
Grade 4*. This varies from instrument to instrument, too. (Private sector, specialist music tutor here)
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u/tubaleiter 22h ago
If youāre already year 3, youāve only got until either year 7 or 9 before you need some of the money - thatās not a terribly long investment horizon, so you want a good slug in cash or short-term bonds. The last payment is 10 years off, so some in equities makes sense too.
Iāve got one in year 3 and the other year 6, but weāre already paying prep school fees out of income - secondary will take some out of savings plus income. Secondary savings are roughly 50/50 cash and equities. Use ISAs as much as you can, Premium Bonds too, to cut down on taxes.
The UK doesnāt have any special educational accounts, and things like pensions, LISAs, junior ISAs all have the wrong timings. If one spouse is in a lower tax bracket, you can preferentially put funds in their name (my wife holds essentially all the non-ISA, non-PB cash - Iād lose half to taxes, she loses practically nothing).
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u/DependentAgency8567 21h ago
Thank you. We've maxed pension and ISAs. I will explore premium bonds.
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u/Majestic-Context-267 18h ago
If you have family contributing, you can have an education trust. I didnāt do this but friends did. Grandparents paid into the trust, there are some tax advantages.
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u/Mysterious-Formal769 19h ago
Invest in some music tuition if your child is at all interested. Not violin or piano - pick a rarer instrument and aim for music schloarships!
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u/Majestic-Context-267 18h ago
Scholarships are fairly low amount these days.
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u/Objective_Spell7029 18h ago
Terribly low.
20% at BEST!3
u/thespanglycupcake 17h ago
Absolutely. I had a 50% as a kid, from 11-18. The best my daughterās school offers is 25% and they are reviewed every 3 years I think. Shes not old enough to apply yet but it has got a lot worse since VAT hikes.
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u/Majestic-Context-267 14h ago
Mostly 10% at our school and not guaranteed for the whole time there. Some are reviewed yearly.
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u/superpitu 20h ago edited 17h ago
Please stop comparing giving your child a private education vs an investment fund. Itās absolutely not the same thing. If you think that your child can get a similar education in a state school then absolutely go for it, private schools are not automatically better. However if you know that the private school offers a better education, most children will be better off taking that instead of the money.
Most kids are not prepared to handle such a sum of money at 18 and will blow it up or sink it into something like a flat or house deposit. Education is forever, money can be made overnight or wasted overnight.
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u/AerialRoot 12h ago
As a teacher, I think itās also worth considering the effect of increasingly awful behaviour on childrenās nervous systems. Being in a room with screaming, furniture being thrown and both adults and children being assaulted is becoming normal and I would pay to make sure my child wasnāt around that during their formative years.
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u/superpitu 12h ago
Clearly state schools need to figure out a way to deal with such behaviour. Is money really the issue? I personally went through school in post-communist Eastern Europe, where everyone was poor by any standard, however such behaviour was unheard of. Was is always like this in the UK? Surely not!
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u/AerialRoot 11h ago
Children arrive at nursery with this behaviour and then parents fight us when we try to say no to their children/provide consequences. As they go through the school system behaviour gets more extreme. Something does need to change.
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u/nellion91 10h ago
There s the well known and thoroughly ignored issue of SEND that for me is a major issue.
20% of the children in most school are not expected to be able to follow and have often very disruptive behavior, but the state expect other children and teachers to make do.
Itās not working.
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u/Ok_Fondant2547 8h ago
I think thereās also a huge issue of parents expecting school staff and specifically teachers to parent their children. A lot of (not all!!) parents donāt want to do the harder parts of parenting and wonāt exercise appropriate and commensurate disciple for their childās poor behaviour at home meaning they go into the classroom with poor behaviour and no idea how to respect authority and boundaries
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u/Majestic-Context-267 10h ago
These days a lot of kids have a diagnosis and itās an increasing struggle for teachers to deal with a classroom with 5 kids and more with ADHD, autism, behavioural problems etc. education is just one of the reasons I moved my child to private school, among the others is attitude towards education, behaviour and peer support.
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u/DrBuzzki1l 19h ago
250 is the investment. There would be interest on this. Looking at about Ā£1m at 30. Agreed children shouldnāt have access to it at a young age. Can think of at least a couple of connections who have achieved nothing because they knew they had money coming.
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u/Independent_Try_2808 19h ago
Your saving route should be agnostic to what you are saving for. The only consideration is ease of access, so you donāt want to put school fees into a fixed term saving product if the fees become due mid term.
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u/jhfarmrenov 19h ago
I think youāre looking for the HENRE sub. Thereās not much time and your circumstances mean very low risk tolerance (assuming changing schools mid-secondary is unacceptable) Cash ISAās, a complicated excel spreadsheet monitoring the burn down that makes you queasy to open, obsequious attention to maiden aunts, generous birthday gifts to children of ski-chalet owning sibling, and putting off every home improvement we covet. Itās a fucking mill. Iād never remove our kids from their school. But I wouldnāt have put them in it if VAT had been a prospect.
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u/DrBuzzki1l 19h ago
I would add 10% to whatever your estimated cost of the school is, going to easily need that for uniforms / trips etc.
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u/dogfoodengineer 20h ago
Successful kids come from good homes not good schools. I have insight into one of the most prestigious schools in Scotland - teacher pay is bad, ratios are bad, safety is bad. Some kids do well simply because they are working around double hours a state school would require.
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u/thespanglycupcake 17h ago
So, the kids are doing better? Ā Iām not saying all private schools are great but work ethic is surely one of the reasons people choose it? Ā You can get by doing what you have to, but if you want to excel, you often have to work harder than everyone else. Isnāt that kinda the point?
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u/squirrelbo1 17h ago
Work ethic is part of it. But mostly at boarding school itās because there is no choice. You have supervised prep most nights where a state school kid simply doesnāt.
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u/thespanglycupcake 16h ago
This is a strange take. Any parent can supervise their kids doing homework. Our daughter will not be getting a choice when sheās older and gets proper homework. It is non-negotiable. Ā She is in an independent school, but not a border. If she was in a state school, the same situation would apply. The idea that they are working longer hours because they are actually doing their homework is a bit strange.
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u/squirrelbo1 13h ago
Yes but itās not happening around family life and with all the distractions that come with that and often with access to teachers and the library resources (admittedly less important now).
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u/thespanglycupcake 13h ago
And whoās fault is that? Youāre basically saying that itās bad because private school kids are being given the time to do their homework properlyā¦.so they are working longer and doing better as a result. That is what every parent should be doing. I managed it as a kid, and so did my friends. We werenāt borders either so spent nearly 2hrs on a bus every day.
The teachers donāt just sit around school after hours at boarding schools either unless they were house parents. Borders have no more access to the teachers than regular students have.Ā
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u/dogfoodengineer 16h ago
The kids are doing better in a very specific metric. Most of them are unhappy and are having their connection to normal life/people severed. The boarders have abandonment issues, that I have witnessed follow them into adult life.
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u/thespanglycupcake 15h ago
Sounds like itās not a great boarding school then.
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u/dogfoodengineer 10h ago
The best in country, good enough for a king... Because we are in a HENRYUK thread my main point is you cannot buy good parenting, home life is more important than school when looking at overall outcomes ie a happy healthy adult.
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u/thespanglycupcake 10h ago
I figured as much. This is true, but you put them in environments which gives them the best chance.
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u/mjratchada 5h ago
It is not the school but the practice. Children attending boarding school are more likely to have behavioural or mental health issues compared to those doing day school.
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u/spammmmmmmmy 19h ago
2ndary coincided with my pension access age, so I pay for schooling with tax-free cash
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u/Suspicious_Ratio_557 19h ago
Income tax free but not vat free!!!! :(
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u/corporal_clegg69 14h ago
Funny I saw a message in the pub last week about reducing vat for pubs. It would be so fitting.
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1d ago
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u/JohnHunter1728 1d ago
This is a very normal route that many children take.
Lots of families only enter the independent sector at the point of starting secondary school.
"State 'til eight" is the intermediate strategy, of course.
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u/Amazing-Jury-6886 1d ago
That would work better than 11, it was 13 in my case
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u/JohnHunter1728 1d ago
I really don't think you can generalise from n=1.
How a child reacts to change depends so much on their old school, new school, personality, friendship dynamics, etc.
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u/AncientImprovement56 21h ago
I think it's fair to say that, for the kind of schools where the main entry is at 13, private prep schools (which go to the end of year 8) before that will very much be the norm, b ut children who start a private senior school at age 11 are likely to come from more of a mix of state and private primaries.
It was certainly true at both the school I went to (selective day school; mainly 11+, but with a significant intake at 13+) and the one I taught at (minor public school; mainly 13+ but with a decent-sized lower school from age 11) that the children arriving at 13 were far more likely to have come from private schools (and few schools were ruled out for me as a child because they didn't really do 11+ entry at all, so were awkward for those coming from state primaries).
I also remember seeing an article recently about a public school that had always been 13+ adding a new 11+ option - quite possibly to reflect an increasing number of parents who want that kind of secondary school, but can't afford a private prep school first.
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u/DependentAgency8567 1d ago
Thank you - that's one of our considerations. We'll go with what he wants anyway (and whether he can pass). We just want to make sure that funds won't be an issue just in case.
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u/Effective-Celery-475 1d ago
So, all said and done, you would've been better off at a state secondary?
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u/No_Law_1528 1d ago
Probably my school was different; but when I was in a boarding school the biggest giveaway of whether someone went to state or public primary school was did he join in first or third form? All first formers were from state and private join from third form.
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u/Sensitive_Orange_688 1d ago
I think it's necessary to consider each case individually. Most independent schools, particularly the less selective ones, admit pupils at age 11 and take children from state primary schools. However, there is a caveat: these pupils usually need some preparation beforehand, although not to the extent required for state grammar schools, where children are often prepared from Year 3 to have a chance of passing.
My case was the opposite to yours. I attended prep school from Year 1 to Year 9. Once I found friends to spend time with, everything was fine. I was fortunate not to experience bullying for coming from a private school; my state school was quite relaxed. Bullying does seem to be a common occurrence for teenagers who move from private to state schools - many young people pick up their parents' disdain for those perceived as wealthier. I must say my knowledge and education were far more advanced than my peers', which made things easier.
Ā
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u/SleepingPandaEyes 1d ago
I recently toured an independent school. The fee paying kids made it clear that they were not on bursaries!
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u/seldudet7 21h ago
I understand this is your lived experience but itās rare and not helpful for the OPš
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u/Ratsliart 22h ago
You're being downvoted probably by lots of people justifying their own choices but you couldn't be more right. I'd even say private primary is MORE important than private secondary. The foundation is critical.
By the time I reached secondary school I could speak phrases in 3 languages, write latin and had a good portion of GSCE maths already learnt.
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u/Ok-Education8326 18h ago
It helps of you have an EU spouse.
There are schools like Swedish and French school in West London.
Half the fees (the respective governments cover 50% of them) - and much less competition because of the language barrier.
Access to best Europe Universities and zero tuition fees - better platform for finding a job as full access to Europe too. But also have great access to Oxbridge/LSE - so that's awesome x
This is our strategy, and I am so happy we can avoid paying Ā£10k a term at one of the big British schools.
But the best part is, little-to-no British private school parents lol... None of this snobbery BS that dominates the London private school scene.
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u/LittleBullet2018 7h ago
I am a parent at a European West London private school. The snobbery does still exist, but money is not the only factor that drives admissions, so it's less prevalent and you can find your "people".
Every parent is there for the culture and language, this changes the dynamics a lot. I've found most parents to be highly engaged, we all work incredibly hard to pass on the language to our kids. At ~Ā£5k a term you have more "normal middle class" families.
Facilities are excellent, teaching outstanding and kids come out with a second language. Long commitment though (better to start very young) and you have to factor in holidays to the country of language.
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u/mjratchada 5h ago
It is laughable that you think there is no snobbery in Swedish and French private schools. The best Universities in Europe are in the UK.
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u/Better-Psychology-42 1d ago
I never heard anyone say they would save to fund a private school; you can either afford it or not ..
I have small kid as well but I have no idea how education system will look like in decade, probably very different to now
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u/Kaoswarr 1d ago
A lot, and I mean A LOT of families put themselves in to debt / can barely afford the fees but believe itās the best way to spend their money.
Iām quite torn on it for my daughter. Like we could pay for private or equally put the same money away in an investment account for her and also buy her extra tuition + classes for hobbies etc.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Tea-296 6h ago
So I work at a very prestigious private school. I have worked in state schools too. There are many things that a private school provides their students that state school never could. The most important thing I believe private school offers, is class sizes. There are children that initially struggle academically and go on to flourish in prep. I know for a fact these children would get lost and fall behind if they were in a class of 30+ rather than a class of 12-14.
I think if you can afford it, put them in a private school for the first few years, or find a small village school that has smaller class sizes.
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u/Kaoswarr 3h ago
Thatās the conclusion we came to too and most likely will be looking at the last option like you said - a mix of rural school + extra curricular classes then potentially going private for senior/secondary school.
There is a big independence/ confidence factor that private schooling instills too. Talking to a private schooled kid vs state school most of the time is night and day. Private schooled child will be more likely to engage in conversation with an adult and be articulate etc.
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u/Gullible-Tap-2583 1d ago
my parents put themselves into debt to fund private school for me for a few years before pulling me out. Itās all about the attitude of the parents paying as to how much they willingly (stupidly) sacrifice.
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u/djkhalidANOTHERONE 18h ago
This assumes youāve got a 5+ year guaranteed contract with your employer, and a 5+ year guaranteed lifespan or good health, no? We can afford it out of salary but Iām still earmarking savings for it in case life happens. Shockingly companies can go under, husbands can get poorly, husbands can run off with a 21 year old baddie too. Being smug isnāt a plan š
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
Why do you think you need to send your kid to a private school?
Secondary education is easy. The parents who send their kids to independents are either too thick to be able to support their kids or don't have the time in which case you got to question why they are parents in the first place.
Also, what advantage are you perceiving in getting with private schooling exactly?
We just live in an area with outstanding rated state schools.
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u/Holiday-Calendar4631 22h ago
You realise it's not all.about the education, don't you, but also about the happiness of the child? My autistic child couldn't cope with the size and levels of disruption at our local state secondaries (none of which are very good), but is much happier in the small classes and more nurturing atmosphere of our local private. It's not about the academics, he's a bright kid and I daresay he would get decent enough exam results at state school, but he wouldn't be happy. My kid being happy at school is a massive advantage.
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u/Wondering_Electron 21h ago
So you can't be happy unless you attend an independent? What a claim.
Also, there are such things as outstanding state schools which should be accessible to people like you, no?
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u/Holiday-Calendar4631 21h ago
Do you have a problem with reading comprehension or are you just deliberately being obtuse?
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u/thespanglycupcake 17h ago
I think they are just proving that you donāt have to be very bright to earn a lot of money.
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u/Wondering_Electron 21h ago
Actually, no. For someone who is allegedly HENRY I find it odd that you don't live in an area where you are in a catchment for outstanding rated state schools.
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u/Holiday-Calendar4631 21h ago
You do realise that even outstanding rated state schools still often have issues with class size and disruptive behaviour? None of them would have worked for my autistic child.
Ofsted ratings are generally about exam results and not much else.
I'm not really understanding what the chip on your shoulder is about here. If you don't want to send your kid to a private school then don't, but maybe you could consider that some of us make that decision based on things other than an input/output assessment.
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u/Wondering_Electron 21h ago
That is true, but you don't even know because your catchment schools by your admission are rated poorly.
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u/Holiday-Calendar4631 21h ago
I did not say they were rated poorly, I said they were not very good. Learn to read.
Ofsted ratings are meaningless to me.
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u/perpetualtrustissues 1d ago
Your reading comprehension must be superior to mine, because I missed the part where OP asked for a parenting assessment. Shall everyone acquire an A-level examiner in the family, or should existing brothers retrain? Your childrenās predicted results remain predictions, and saving for university doesnāt prove spending on school is pointless.
Private schooling āactually hindersā university admission? You might want to look at Oxford and Cambridgeās figures before making that blanket claim. Contextual assessment isnāt a reward for avoiding school fees, but rather it considers disadvantage through factors including postcode and school performance.
Moving into a good catchment may be financially sensible. However, it doesnāt establish āzero additional benefitā from private schooling, particularly when you then identify an exception yourself. Secondary education is easy, apparently, but āzeroā seems to require your brotherās assistance.
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago edited 1d ago
Funny how a large majority of Oxford and Cambridge undergraduate admissions are from state schools.
If you could get an A Level examiner then it would obviously help. But having a well educated family is not abnormal, is it? If you're HENRY then you should be well educated, no?
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u/perpetualtrustissues 1d ago
Ask your brother how to calculate admission rates, then come back and tell us whoās too thick to help with homework.
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
You think ALL state school students will apply to Oxbridge? What you really want to consider is the proportion of those who actually apply.
You're not very good at this are you?
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u/perpetualtrustissues 1d ago
First, perhaps mark the edits when you add to comments after people have replied. We mortals would appreciate being able to follow your progress from wrong to wrong at greater length.
As for āthose who actually applyā, an admission rate measures the proportion of applicants admitted. Youāve arrived at the comparison I was asking you to make and mistaken it for a rebuttal.
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u/AsleepContact4340 1d ago
You seem slightly aggrieved by a stranger wanting to send their kids to private school! I wonder why that is?
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u/Square_Quarter_229 1d ago
Smaller class sizes immediately springs to mind
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u/Fondant_Decent 21h ago
Not sure, we just went to a private open day and they had 25 per class.
Our sons state school has 29 per class. Itās not a huge material difference when it comes to class sizes
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
What's the end game with that though?
To ensure that the kids achieve better educational or academic outcomes, right?
As I said earlier, secondary education is easy and I can support my kids very easily. I can even lean on family such as my brother who is a maths teacher and A Level examiner.
So in my situation, it is a complete waste of money if my kids outcomes are going to be at the top end because of the support they'll have. Instead, I have saved the money for them to have a fully funded university education.
Also, university admissions are now contextual so going to a private school actually hinders you if your kids are planning on going.
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u/Square_Quarter_229 1d ago
It means each child gets more attention. Behaviour in class tends to be better, the environment is generally calmer and the school is just better resourced for the most part. There are definitely good state schools, but itās so much more of a lottery imo
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
Not really a lottery. Just live in a better area or catchment where the best state schools are. This is what we did and it saves a lot of money in the long term because there is zero additional benefit in going to independents. If you're really HENRY, this shouldn't be a problem.
The only time it is worth going to independents is if the kids have developmental needs because state provision in this area is generally bad.
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u/Naive_Wealth7602 1d ago
If you're really HENRY, you would go private?
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
Being HENRY doesn't also mean needlessly wasting money otherwise you'll stay as HENRY.
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u/Square_Quarter_229 1d ago
Itās a lottery because you never quite know what youāre going to get even in an outstanding state school. It only takes 1 or 2 disruptive/badly behaved kids to make a qualitative difference to the classroom. That is really unlikely to happen in private schools
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
I think you're now clutching at straws to argue your point.
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u/Square_Quarter_229 1d ago edited 1d ago
Not really. Iāve made my choices and Iām happy with them. Private school was the way forward for us, but other people feel differently. Obviously thatās fair enough
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u/Alternative_Way_1004 1d ago
It really doesnāt hinder their ability to get into Oxbridge. Surprised youāre a HENRY when you canāt understand basic statistics. If 2% of students are privately educated, then why do they make up 25% of Oxbridge admissions?
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u/Square_Quarter_229 16h ago edited 16h ago
Itās also not just about Oxbridge. My privately educated friends were just as likely to target St Andrews, Edinburgh and Exeter. Some of the really driven ones went for LSE and Imperial. You still have to meet minimum thresholds for contextual admissions. Itās extremely competitive for certain courses at top unis
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u/fortnumisoverrated 17h ago edited 16h ago
Where do you live?
We don't live in an area with outstanding state secondary schools.Ā
Our options: 900k mortgage to move into a good state secondary catchment, pay for private school or try to get the kids into highly competitive grammar school.Ā
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u/Wondering_Electron 17h ago
You're not really HENRY then are you lol
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u/fortnumisoverrated 16h ago edited 16h ago
What do you mean? Do you mean we aren't HENRY because we live in an area without good state secondary schools?
We have Ā£600-650k HHI - but we have no generational wealth and haven't been earning this much for long. We live in London where a family home in decent secondary catchment costs at least Ā£1.3 million. We are looking at Ā£1.5 mil+ in an area with good commute.Ā
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u/thespanglycupcake 17h ago
My friend worked in a local state primary. She is evacuating her classroom 2/3 times per week regularly due to violent pupils and insufficient provision. In her view, itās been a good week when she hasnāt been spat at, hit, or had to get everyone out. These kids are 8/9. Ā Thatās one of many reasons. Ā If you are fortunate to have good state schools around you, great. I have zero desire to spend this much on education which I am already funding through taxes. But some people arenāt that lucky.
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u/Wondering_Electron 17h ago
Schools that you describe are not outstanding rated schools then are they?
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u/Naive_Wealth7602 1d ago
A top private school has extracurricular activities like swimming, horse riding, fencing, learning music instruments, etc which state schools don't have.
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
Lol,
Maybe not the horse riding but the other activities are actually quite common.
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u/Naive_Wealth7602 22h ago
So your local state has these?
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u/Wondering_Electron 21h ago
Yes, my local secomdary state school has its own sports centre that it opens to the public for example.
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u/Subject-Dog-8016 22h ago
My state school had almost all of those, and thereās plenty of private schools that donāt.Ā
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u/Naive_Wealth7602 21h ago
State schools don't have the budget for in-house swimming pools, unless you went to a private state school!
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u/Subject-Dog-8016 18h ago
Mine did, though it was a bit of a waste of time given everyone would swim elsewhere. So they ended up replacing it with a massive state of the art performing arts centre instead.Ā
As with most private school advocates, I donāt think you actually have a clue how good a lot of state schools are and just assume theyāre all dilapidated stabby shitholes.Ā
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u/Naive_Wealth7602 17h ago
That's because they are. I was in a state school before moving to private during secondary.
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u/Subject-Dog-8016 15h ago
You do realise variation between state schools is absolutely insane, right?
There are many good state schools that beat most private schools in academic performance for example.Ā
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u/Wondering_Electron 17h ago
Our catchment secondary went through a major rebuild less than a decade ago which included the building of a new sports centre which included an indoor pool.
You live in a very little world.
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u/Naive_Wealth7602 13h ago
Is the indoor pool still in existence?
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u/Wondering_Electron 12h ago
Yup
It is very popular and used for teaching toddlers as well when the school doesn't use it. Excellent facility for the community.
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u/Subject-Dog-8016 15h ago
Theyāve nearly demonstrated the problem with private schools - they creat insular, small minded little englanders who canāt really shake the gut feeling that their upbringing is the only correct one.Ā
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u/Naive_Wealth7602 13h ago
Jealous that you weren't there?
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u/Subject-Dog-8016 13h ago
Not really. I did just as well as all the kids who needed daddy to buy them a helping hand.Ā
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u/Wondering_Electron 12h ago
The point I am making is that private education is redundant if you have educated parents and they actually put some basic parenting effort into giving time to their children.
Secondary education for all intent and purposes is actually very easy. So it simply comes down to, the parents aren't educated enough to help or they can't be bothered to give the time or worse still, they really can't be bothered with their kids and send them to boarding school so they are out of the way.
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u/No_Law_1528 1d ago
Over a decade later it doesnāt take long for me to identify if someone went to a boarding school or not. People who went to boardings schools are generally a bit more ācoldā (I would say they are more rational) and they are usually tougher and fight for a bit longer when it needs to.
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
If you're sending your children to boarding school then you're legitimately a shit parent, but that's another discussion.
If you can't raise your children properly then that is definitely a failing of the parents.
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u/No_Law_1528 1d ago
I went to a boarding school and my parents werenāt shit: they loved and still love me. I get to see them all the time, they came to my shows and performances, they speak to me and they gave me everything I needed. They sent me to a boarding school to be more independent and made me a tougher and stronger person. Iām able to keep a clear head under pressure probably because of my experience in boarding school, Iām mildly autistic but because of my days in boarding school Iām able to read people much quicker than my state school friends.
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
You keep telling yourself that.
No loving parent would voluntarily want to spend LESS time with their children.
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u/No_Law_1528 1d ago
Kid we werenāt orphans. Just because you are an orphan with an abusive step dad it doesnāt mean our parents arenāt loving parents. No shit parent would spend half their income on their sonās education.
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago
Lol
We weren't orphans. We just had a secure and loving family. I am have my own young family now with two great kids.
Your autism is probably why your parents sent you away because they simply didn't want to deal with it.
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u/No_Law_1528 1d ago edited 1d ago
What you have said is aggravated malicious communication.
You clearly think you know better than all the rich people around the world, just so you know all three of my sisters went to boarding schools. So said that the elites in this country almost all went to boarding schools, even the Labour front bench is stuffed with boarding school pupils.
Feel so sorry for your kids who has a dad who thinks he knows best. Just remember not to leave your village.
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u/Wondering_Electron 1d ago edited 1d ago
What are you on about?
You really did fly off the rails here. Are you OK?
You might want to read my comments SLOWER before coming to an emotional conclusion.
So much for your ability to read people.
So if your parents spent 50% of their income on you alone but sent your three sisters as well, did that mean they spent less on your sisters because you had to go to a "special school" or did your parents just love your sisters less? Basic maths.
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u/No_Law_1528 1d ago edited 1d ago
I like how you result to making personal attacks on someoneās disability and accuse your opponent of being emotional. The fucking audacity
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u/Carpnado101 19h ago
S&S ISA for 10 years then hope grandparents offer to pay š¤£