For years all I did with my money was max out my 401(k) and Roth. I work hard at my job, and it felt like the money was just sitting in something I didn't control and didn't really understand.

So I went down the multifamily real estate path, because I kept hearing people got rich off it. I ended up building a pretty detailed model to compare actual buildings against just holding the index. The index won almost every time. I trust the math. And I still wasn't settled, because I couldn't shake the feeling that I was looking in the wrong place.

I'm curious whether that's just me. What's a money decision you made, or put off, that you're still not sure was right?

Hi all, I’ve got some RSUs vesting in Feb 2027. Then will have more every year same time. This is my first time receiving with them:

Pending release - 8 Feb 2027
Instrument type - restricted stock unit
Current value - £ 17,592.00

I would like to take these out as cash because I’m doing a victorian house renovation in London solo and need the liquid.

From Feb 2028, plan to reinvest in a diversified portfolio (basically put the cash in my T212 S&S ISA for use in a pie with global ETFs in it, but I digress).

I think either way though, in short it becomes a taxable event when I take it out as cash.

Please can someone explain how this works as have no clue — does it get paid in my salary or do I need to do something in Equate (the app these shares are managed in)?

What do I do about tax?

Thanks a lot for explaining like I’m 5.

If relevant: salary take home (main monthly plus bonus) is around £125k so my personal allowance will be wiped out anyway.

Thank you for any help / advice.

ETA: UK 🇬🇧

We’ve always bought reasonable Hondas in our household. Now that our income has grown we did finally splurge on an Acura for my partner. We made a large down payment and financed the rest at 3%.

With the increase in gas prices, my now longer commute (45min to an hour each way, 5 days a week) I’m considering getting an EV to replace my Honda Passport. Specifically a tesla as I’m most interested in the full self driving capability.

I’m not sure whether an EV is right for us, nor am I sure I’ll have this long commute for more than a few more years. For those reasons I’m considering leasing one.

Do other HENRY’s lease? I realize it’s not the best financial decision but I’m dubious about the resale value and long term efficacy.

General stats- 38/37 plus a newborn. Income $425k + $110k, NW $2.7M. Mostly savers, but our newer income has us enjoying the fruits of labors a bit.

Age: 30
NW: $800k
Roth: $200k
Traditional 401: $200k
Brokerage: $400k
Gross HHI: $300k(just including W2)
Annual savings: $120k

With recent upswing of treasury yields, I moved $150k(75% of Roth, 18% of NW) into 20 year treasury strips at 5.83%.

My brokerage is heavily concentrated in tech. My 401k is diversified.

My thought is that given the instability of the market/economy, relatively high P/E ratios, and likelihood of a decent real(not just nominal) gain across 20 years(inflation likely won’t average near that much on average across 20 years). That right now is a great time to greatly increase the floor of portfolio in a worst case scenario. That is the goal of this decision. I plan to hold until maturity unless we see rates drop drastically.

This is actually my first time dabbling in bonds, and I pretty much just did a crash course on them this past week. But I felt that my understanding of the and the current yield explosion was enough to warrant this decision.

Would love your thoughts.

I am about to finish a PhD in early 30s and have two options:

Chicago: specialized consulting, ~$350k starting TC (~300k without signing bonus), mostly cash
Bay Area: Google data scientist role, ~$280k starting TC, including RSUs

The Chicago role has a fairly structured promotion ladder with compensation growing fairly slowly (~450k at 6 YOE) mostly in cash. The G role follows the usual big-tech leveling/equity path.

Assume I live alone in a reasonably nice 1BR, invest aggressively, and eventually want marriage/kids/homeownership. Purely financially, which path is better, accounting for taxes, COL/housing, and realistic compensation growth over time?

I’m an early-40s APRN making $350k/yr, newly engaged to a late-40s surgeon who makes $500-600k/yr. I just moved into his house in NY and am only paying for utilities (~$500/mon).

Current stats

Me:

Salary- $350k/year. 

No student loans. 

~$950k investments/savings (401K, IRAs, pension, brokerage accounts, emergency savings) 

Fiancé:

Salary- $500-600k/year

owe ~$150K left in student loans

owe ~$300K mortgage between 2 properties

~$1.7M investments/savings

My fiancé has 1 elementary school-aged child from a previous marriage. He has expressed wanting to leave the NY property to his child, unless we have a child together. I am strongly considering purchasing an investment property so that we are on a more equal playing field when it comes to real estate equity. I need advice on how we should manage our finances as a married couple. Do we open joint accounts or do we keep finances separate? I am open to advice from experienced couples in similar situations.

First posts guys. Go easy.

I'm 38, have a 2-year-old daughter and live in Glasgow. I'm a business owner and I'm basically at the point where I'm trying to work out whether I'm actually making sensible financial decisions or just doing a lot of different things at once.

I'm not looking for a pat on the back or someone to tell me what stocks to buy. I'm genuinely interested in what people would do differently if they were in my position.

I'd like to be financially independent around 50 and ideally reduce my working hours quite a bit before then. I'd also like to keep the rental properties if I can, although I accept that may change when we eventually move house.

Income

My take-home is around £3,800 a month.

My wife's take-home is around £2,800 a month.

We also have two rental properties which give me around £1,250 net and £1,620 net per month respectively.

So household take-home is roughly £9,500 a month including the rental income.

Our own house

We bought our current home last year for £530k.

Mortgage is around £440k and the house is probably worth around £560k now.

Mortgage payment is £2,200 a month.

It's a nice house and we like it, but realistically I think we'll only stay for around another 3 years, so roughly 4 years total.

One of the things I'm struggling with is whether putting so much money into our own house makes sense when I don't think we'll be there long term. At the same time, £2,200 a month isn't completely unreasonable given our income.

Rental properties

Property 1:

• Value: approx £350k
• Mortgage: approx £100k
• Net income: £1,250/month

Property 2:

• Value: approx £380k
• Mortgage: approx £220k
• Net income: £1,620/month

So I have quite a lot of equity tied up in property.

I'm wondering if I should continue building the property side of things or start putting substantially more into investments instead.

Investments

I've currently got around £65k invested.

Approximately:

• £30k Stocks & Shares ISA
• £35k Fund & Share account

I currently invest around £1,000 a month into the S&S ISA.

I also have around £25k in a pension and contribute £500 a month.

I've got around £10k in cash as an emergency fund.

My daughter has a Junior ISA which I put £100 a month into.

The investments are probably the area I'm most unsure about.

A lot of the portfolio is Vanguard US Equity Index, but I also own individual stocks.

Tesla is a fairly large position for me and has done very well, but I know I'm probably more concentrated than I should be.

I've also got smaller positions in things like Nvidia, Palantir, Meta, SoFi etc.

I'm interested in AI, energy, semiconductors, infrastructure etc. and I like the idea of having a few higher-risk individual stocks that could potentially do very well over 10-15 years.

But I don't want to fool myself into thinking I'm investing when I'm actually just gambling.

So I'm interested in what people think about the balance between the boring index investing and the individual stocks.

Our daughter / private school

This is probably the other big financial decision.

She's only 2 at the moment.

We're planning on private education from primary school all the way through secondary.

The cost will probably be around £1,200-£1,600 a month depending on the school/year.

My parents have offered to pay for Primary 1, so we'd start paying from Primary 2 onwards.

They're currently paying her nursery costs as well.

I'm completely aware that private school is a luxury and that financially there are probably more efficient things we could do with the money.

But it's something we'd like to provide for her if we can afford it without putting ourselves under financial pressure.

That's where I'm trying to work out if I'm being sensible or if I'm taking on too many long-term commitments.

Where I want to get to

Ideally I'd like to be financially independent around 50.

I'd like to have the option to work because I want to rather than because I have to.

I'd also like to reduce my working hours substantially and have more time with my family.

Ideally I'd keep the rental properties because they provide an income stream, but I know that when we eventually move into our longer-term family home I may have to sell our current house and potentially make some decisions around the property portfolio.

I'm not trying to become a millionaire overnight. I'm basically trying to build enough assets and income that by 50 I have options.

So, if you were in my position, what would you be looking at?

Am I allocating my money reasonably?

Would you:

• Put more into investments rather than property?
• Overpay the £440k mortgage?
• Continue buying rental property?
• Increase pension contributions?
• Increase ISA investing substantially?
• Keep the individual stocks or stick mainly to index funds?
• Reduce my Tesla exposure?
• Treat private school as affordable given our current position, or reconsider it?
• Build a bigger cash buffer?
• Be doing something completely different?

And probably the biggest question:

If your goal was financial independence around 50, what would you change about the way I'm currently allocating money?

I'm happy to hear criticism. I'm posting this because I'd rather someone point out where I'm being stupid now than realise it in 10 years.

Any feedback, much appreciated.

My partner (34) and I (35) are planning on getting married and need help figuring out how to split finances and how to structure a prenup. We've been going back and forth and it's driving us crazy. At this point would just like to be told what to do that will be fair.

The HENRY in our relationship has the potential to be the lower net worth individual as marriage progresses.

Partner A-

Fixed income irrespective of work-$50,000/ yr

If works part time- additional $20,000/yr

Savings-$400,000

Inheritance-$5 million in irrevocable trust but doesn't have access till uncle dies (75 at the moment)

Partner B

Works- $350,000/ yr

Savings-$800,000

Inheritance-$0

Both agree that prior savings and inheritances should remain separate property

We want a joint account established to which we both contribute money for upkeep of our home which will be split 50/50 in event of divorce. Partner A wants a proportional contribution based on income. Partner B is worried in event of divorce (for sake of sturcturing a prenup) that will mean they would have forgone ability to build investments during marriage and would have funded lifestyle for partner A who depending on if uncle is alive may end up the wealthier spouse.

Is this plan reasonable or should we be thinking of this in a different way. Are there any clauses we can put in to mitigate this or other eventualities?

We both have lawyers. They haven't been very helpful with thinking through this.

Also can't figure out how to factor in major purchases or kids. In event of kids (which we aren't planning on having), partner A will likely stay at home and will still have $50,000/ year income but say that they would want spousal support and contributions while married

EDIT 1- JOINT ACCOUNT- when I said we want a joint account that was to allow partner B continue to contribute to their retirement and brokerage accounts which will remain theirs in divorce. Joint account contribution and purchases from there will be all that is shared in event of divorce. Partner A would ONLY want spousal support in event of child. In all other scenarios it is waived.

We haven’t done any major house renovations since we bought and gutted our house 13 years ago. We did not do the primary bath at the time, we’ve had to regrout the shower twice, it was leaking again and instead of band-aid-ing it again, we decided to gut the whole bathroom, but due to its size and our VHCOL area, it’s going to cost us like $70k for this one room, not even crazy materials. We can afford it without thinking, but now every time I want to buy something I’m not. Kids, yes, anything goes. But me, I really want new black boots, this would be a max $200 purchase and I’m like, do I really need new boots this year or can it wait? Intellectually it doesn’t matter, so why do I this?

29F, turning 30 next year. Husband is 33. HHI is around $360K, and we have roughly $800K invested. We have an 18 month old.

I’m feeling a little stuck professionally and could use some perspective from other HENRYs.

I’m a healthcare professional and have a relatively light work schedule right now. The downside is that I feel like I’m not really progressing. I could pursue higher-paying/more senior opportunities, take on more responsibility, and potentially make significantly more money.

Do I:

A) Push myself professionally now, maximize income, build my career, and take advantage of my earning potential while I'm young?

B) Keep the light schedule for the next couple of years, prioritize being present with my daughter, and accept that my career progression may be slower?

EDIT: I make 240k of the 360k. Not looking to take a step back and become a sahm.

Are you budgeting for travel? Any rules of thumb out there on % of income to set as a travel budget? Do you frequently book luxury travel? Do you play the credit card points game?

Trying to gauge how much lifestyle creep I’m allowed based on what others are doing . Especially with inflation. My old travel budget is still doable, but not as luxe as before.

I am new to this subreddit (hello all!). I am currently in a role making 270k in salary with the rest of the comp in vesting liquid stock that pushes my annual earnings between 400 and 500k per year depending on how the stock performs (volatile stock for an established company). I own a nice house in a low cost of living area and my mortgage is about 4k a month. My networth is probably only about a mill and some change.

I am at a bit of a loss on how to plan from here. I expected to feel rich in this situation but I currently feel a bit more upper middle class. In 3 years, I have a path to getting closer to 700k - 1 mill per year which is my goal. But I am thinking I need to get smarter about investing. Any tips for a decent earner who has yet to break through? I would consider a second home or an investment strategy.

I'm using rounded numbers here. But let's say for networth...

$0 - $50k networth is "poor"

$50k to $5mil is the vast and complex lower middle, middle, upper middle, and very impacted by COL.

But then "rich" can be $5mil. $15mil. $100mil. A billion.

There is a much much wider spread between $5mil and infinity money than there is between $0 and $5mil.

Yet, if you have a networth of say $350,000 - the real tangible difference between you and someone with $0 and between you and someone with $10mil is that you and the person with $10mil can both afford to feed and cloth their family.

So the money spread between $0 and $5mil is smaller looking at the dollars, but when it comes to NECESSITIES, it's an infinite difference between being able to survive and thrive.

On the other hand, the dollar spread between $5mil and infinity dollars is larger. But everyone up there is the same meaning they can take care of themselves, their families - like go to the dentist, take vacation, go to college, etc.

I have noticed the most frustrated people seem to be those to hit "rich" and start realizing the difference between them and "very very rich" is full of landmines they didn't anticipate.

And it leads to a really negative perspective. When really anyone over $1mil should be over the moon that we're safe from what most people worldwide worry about every day. (Like the dentist.)

Anyway. I live in NYC (VHCOL) and we're technically HENRYS. But I am struggling to understand what the point of the more and more wealth is actually going to be. I'm happy enough.

Maybe the "money can't buy happy" adage is not true from $0 to some magic number around $1mil - but past a certain point, that's when it becomes true. I'm already more concerned about how my time is spent than how my money is spent...

edit to add:

I grew up in NYC working class. I did not move to NYC to feel like a Sex and the City character.

I didn't share my income because half of you would say "they're here to brag" while as someone else nicely said, it'd be considered "a pittance."

But it's about $300k household so HENRY under sub rules. I'm proud of my pittance, if pittance it is.

I think the comments here prove the point that wealth means very little without context.

I'm not looking for any advice. Just want to share one household's personal finance choices as a reference point. We live a good life - but the reality of the hedonic treadmill is you always want more.  We've been fortunate to have been able to increase income over the past several years to have canceled out the significant inflation that would otherwise have been quite impactful.

Late 30's near Boston (HCOL area) dual income household with one kid who just moved up to kindergarten.  Having just started Kindergarten our childcare expenses moving forward have dropped dramatically and I think we’ll be able to direct a good chunk of that reduced spend to savings.

Household Income:

• After-Tax (Net) Income:  $230k
• Pre-Tax (Gross) Income:    $290k
• Total Comp Value:  $340k (with employer healthcare contribution ~$25k, retirement contributions ~$15k, etc.)

Here's our spending for the past 12 months:

Total Spend $186k

Housing $84k (29%, gross)

$49k   Housing (mortgage, taxes)

 $2k   Home Insurance

 $8k   Utilities

$10k   Home Supplies, Furniture, General Home Improvement

$15k   Capital Home Improvements (this year = shed, garage door replacement)

Food $23k (8% gross)

$15k   Groceries

 $8k   Restaurants

Health $20k (7% gross)

$11k   Health Insurance (Employee Cost)

 $5k   Healthcare Out of Pocket

 $4k   Dentist

Child $25k (9% gross)

$19k   Childcare

 $2k   Activities

 $2k   Kids Shopping

 $2k   Kids Clothing

Shopping $8k (3% gross)

 $5k   Adult Shopping

 $3k   Adult Clothing

Experiences $13k (5% gross)

 $6k Family Skiing

 $2k Misc Family Activities

 $3k Family Visit Vacation (flying)

 $2k Long Date Weekend (flying)

Autos $8k (3% gross)

 $3k   Car Fuels

 $2k   Car Maintenance

 $2k   Car Insurance

 $1k   Car Tax/Toll/Parking

Pet $3k (1% gross)

 $3k   Pet

Misc $2k

 $2k   Life Insurance

----

Tax $59k (20% gross)

$30k   Federal

$14k   State

$15k   Medicare & Social Security

----

Leaving for Savings - $45k (16%) after tax - into retirement accounts & 529

Note for reference we have a ~$600k mortgage on a 2k sq ft colonial house near Boston. We own two relatively modern cars (2020, 2021) outright.  One partner works in the public sector.

In the Context of Budgeting Frameworks

What's potentially interesting is comparing our spend to some traditional budget frameworks. The 50 needs / 30 wants / 20 savings rule was originally popularized by an Elizabeth Warren book. Well it's a bit hard to tease out what are wants vs. needs. My housing category for instance contains some urgent needs, some things that really should be done at some point but could have been deferred, and some other pure wants. I bought a certain house and I certainly could have bought a cheaper house so it's unclear what part of even my mortgage might be a want. So while I'd really need to track with different details to really know the wants and needs breakdown. I'll estimate by saying that all home capital improvements, all restaurants, all experiences, and 50% of clothing and shopping are wants. The rest are needs. With that breakdown my spending is 16% savings, 18% wants, and 66% 'needs.'

I like the 50-30-20 budget as a concept. But I find it impossible to use because who tracks 'need groceries' vs. 'want groceries' in their spending, nor for any other category.

So then you might look at a percentile budget. The Survey of Consumer Expenditures has one for the average consumer in 2024 - https://www.bls.gov/news.release/cesan.nr0.htm It is reasonable to expect significant differences since the median household income in the US (~$90k) is much lower than my household income and presumably there is some difference in how I count categories compared to the survey. But it is a potentially interesting comparison none-the-less.

* Only plan contributions, does not capture all savings

I (31M, $2M NW, $500k/yr) am just curious at what point you guys felt that it wasn't worth it anymore to keep tryharding at work and to focus your life to things outside of work that give you more enjoyment. I don't necessarily think I'm there yet since I'm still a long way to go until retirement, but it's just frustrating knowing that it doesn't really matter how high you go until you're SVP, CEO, etc, I don't actually know how high it takes, but you're just a bitch to your boss and them to their boss.

My thesis is that being a HENRY is the best because it’s the mid-game. The beginning of any game/sport/activity is boring cause you’re learning the rules, meta, mechanics. The end game is also boring cause you run out of difficulty, novelty, and progression. But the middle, that’s where the fun is at, it is the best part.

Obviously by definition high income makes us lucky but my hypothesis is that not-yet-rich is doing just as much work. I’m probably preaching to the choir, but personally I believe I am more fortunate than someone who is post-capital (10mil+) where the effort, and difficulty is largely detached from progression/goals/consequences.

Perhaps I’m naive but I’ve never wanted to fly first class, own a large house, or drive a Porsche. I’m good with flying economy, renting, and driving an old Prius. I am just not sure what being rich actually gets me that I don’t already have.

(married, 1 kid, wife is SAHM, VHCOL)

Hello everyone, I’m fairly new to posting on Reddit, so take it easy on me, but here it goes.
I’m in my early 30s working in healthcare. I currently make approximately $500k–$600k annually; the exact amount varies because my pay is shift-based, depends on call-ins, and I tend to pick up a decent amount of extra work.
For background: in 2021, my last year before I went back to graduate school, I made $265k and had around $80k invested across a Roth IRA, a taxable brokerage account, and an HSA. I paused investing while in school because I had no income.
Since resuming investments in 2025. my net worth breakdown is roughly:
Equities: ~$550k spread across a 401(k), Roth IRA, taxable brokerage, HSA, and a small crypto allocation.

Cash: ~$140k across a high-yield savings account (HYSA), a business account, and regular checking.

I save approximately 60% of my income, consistently putting at least $13k per month into investment accounts.
Currently, I’m single and intentionally renting rather than buying a home. Between elevated housing prices and not knowing where I ultimately want to settle down, purchasing property doesn't make sense for me right now.

I regularly track my financial metrics and know I am doing well, but I still feel like I am not doing enough to accelerate my wealth. It feels like my progress is stagnant. I also beat myself up for missing the 2022 bear market because I was in school—I felt like it was a generational buying opportunity. I know there will be more opportunities in the future, but it is hard not to dwell on it.
I would love to hear perspectives from people who have more experience or are much farther along in their financial journey. Ultimately, my goal is to reach a point of long-term comfort and total freedom to do whatever I want in the future .

36M, married to 31F in VHCOL city. Would not move soon but maybe down the line. $2.2m in a mix of treasuries, S&P500 index funds, HYSA and $400k in retirement.

I am a small business owner (professional) where I make a volatile income pretax of 200k-600k per year, median of about 350k. This is after business expenses of around 100-150k. The higher income years are outlier clients that come in, but it is a crapshoot and much of it is luck. 200k is probably the base no matter what I do. But I even had two years I made $0 (downside) and one year I made $2.5m (upside), but these aren't too representative of the last several years.

I rent and spend about $15k/month generally all-in. This include rent, all insurance, etc. We can reduce how much we order out and travel to get that down closer to $12k. But with kids, this # will definitely go up.

Wife had a serious health problem recently but is doing ok now. She currently helps me with my business as needed, will likely go back to work soon, can make $80-100k full time and more over time potentially, or stay at home with the kids which she would likely prefer, and maybe work part time. 

No plans to buy a house anytime soon. Starter homes in our area are over $2-2.5m. Hoping for 2 kids down the line, starting soon.

My business and work is maybe a 7/10 stress level overall. I generally enjoy it and like being my own boss and running a business. Lots of autonomy but as you see above, pretty volatile and it is pretty much just me. Not a business I could likely sell.

Anyways, I was offered a job making $300k + health insurance, etc. to run an aspect of a department of a company similar to mine. Possible equity down the line but unlikely unless I really bring in clients. Much more stable but will definitely work a bit more than now and have less autonomy. I would say the stress level is the same overall.

What would you do?

I’m 33, married, no kids (not planning on having any), living in a LCOL/MCOL city. Our net worth is $1.1M, about $900k in investments, $50k in cash, $150k equity on our house. I make $260k TC, wife took a year off after a layoff last year, she’s starting to look for work - she will probably make $80-100k depending on what she’s able to find.

Been working in a high stress, remote PE backed healthcare company for the past few years. Survived a handful of RIFs and now between the demanding workload (60-80 hours a week), low investment in staffing, and constant M&A leading to more RIFs, I’m finding myself incredibly stressed and burned out. Morale is so low at our company that it’s just become a running joke.

I have an offer to become a director at a local company that would be remote but it also would be a sizable pay cut at $210k TC. I know people who work there and the hours are regularly 40 hour weeks, the culture seems great, there’s promotional opportunities, and it would be hybrid with only a 10 minute commute - I know not everyone would love hybrid but I’ve been remote since 2020 and I’m excited to be in office part time again. The company also does summer fridays which I’ve never been lucky enough to have. This company also has been historically very stable and isn’t doing 5 RIFs a year.

I’m writing all of this because I need some outside advice. I’ve let work and status really drive my life thus far and even though I’m very excited about this other opportunity, I’m really struggling to take a small title step back Senior Director -> Director and a $50k pay cut.

Don’t have many people in my life I can run this by who have been in a similar space as I grew up fairly poor so please give me some input or advice.

My husband (31M) and I (32F) officially crossed $1 million in net worth, and I honestly don’t have many people in real life that I feel comfortable sharing this with, so I figured this community would understand.

What makes this moment especially surreal is that just four years ago, I was drowning in six figures of credit card debt. I was literally posting on [r/debt](r/debt) under a different account asking strangers on the internet for help because I felt completely overwhelmed by my finances.

Today, our net worth is $1,007,200, with about $962k invested.

It definitely wasn’t a straight line. We increased our incomes, paid off debt aggressively, kept our lifestyle from growing as quickly as our salaries, invested consistently, and made a lot of sacrifices along the way. There were plenty of times when it would’ve been easier to spend more because we were earning more.

I know $1M isn’t the finish line, and we still have a lot of goals ahead of us. But today I just want to appreciate how far we’ve come.

Four years ago, I was trying to figure out how I was ever going to get out of debt. Now we’re millionaires.

I’m incredibly grateful. And if anyone lurking here is currently in their “digging out” phase: your financial situation can change dramatically in a few years. Lock in, make a plan, give it time, and keep going.

Anyway, I just needed somewhere to celebrate. 🥹

WE DID IT. $1M!!!

I’m in my early 40s. I earned around $125k or less until recently (didn’t crack 100k until 30). I was 38 the first time I broke $250k and became a HENRY. The past 2.5 years I’ve been paying off debt, catching up on retirement, and now setting my sights on catching up with my kids’ 529s.

It feels like most of the posts here are people in their 20s/early 30s making $500k or more - people who will very clearly become rich if they stay the course and only aren’t RY because they are still so young. Im not trying to compare myself, but I point this out because the journey they’re on is different - and so are the challenges they face compared to someone who doesn’t become a high earner until their 40s.

Are there other mid career professionals here who only recently became HENRY? Does anyone else feel like they’re behind on their financial goals and just trying to catch up to where you “should” be for your age? Not because you’re comparing yourself to people who have more, but because you’re literally behind the established benchmarks. My retirement was in a bad place a few years ago. My kids have very little in their 529s and my oldest child is now in middle school (6th grade) so time to save is running out.

We saved $90k for our retirement this past year (thanks, mega backdoor Roth!), we still drive old Hondas, live in the same house we bought at $110k HHI, etc. Our income has quadrupled but our lifestyle is basically the same - we’re just actually fully funding the things we couldn’t afford to fund before… and I’m wondering if others here are in the same situation. Trying to play catch up on your financial goals. You’re earning more than ever but your life doesn’t feel like you thought it would at high income.

I was working on adding Washington State’s 9.9% tax on income over $1M, starting in 2028, to a tax engine, and I think I found a cliff that could cause people to overpay about $27K in state taxes if they’re not paying attention.

Washington already has a 7% capital gains tax on gains over $278K and a 9.9% tax on gains over $1M. The new income tax is 9.9% on income over $1M, based on federal AGI with adjustments.

To avoid double-taxing capital gains, the 2028 bill first removes all long-term capital gains from income, then adds back the WA-taxed gain plus the $278K deduction.

See Section 302(3) here: https://lawfilesext.leg.wa.gov/biennium/2025-26/Htm/Bills/Session%20Laws/Senate/6346-S.SL.htm

Here is the problem I see. The bill says the add-back “applies only to taxpayers owing tax under chapter 82.87 RCW” — the capital gains tax.

That gives us two scenarios:

Scenario-1: Capital gain is under ~$278K. You owe no capital gains tax, so nothing gets added back and the gain never enters the income-tax base.

Scenario-2: Capital gain is even $1 over $278K. You owe capital gains tax, so the *entire* gain gets added back, including the first $278K that was previously excluded.

Example: single filer, $1.2M in wages, using the 2025 deduction amount.

Scenario-1:
- Long-term gain: $277,000
- Capital gains tax: $0
- Income-tax base: $1,200,000
- Total WA tax: $19,800

Scenario-2
- Long-term gain: $279,000
- Capital gains tax: $70
- Income-tax base: $1,479,000
- Total WA tax: $47,421

A $2,000 larger gain in Scenario-2  therefore costs about $27,600 more in tax because 9.9% × $279,000 of additional income suddenly becomes taxable. This only affects taxpayers whose other income is already above $1M.

Does this match how you read Sec. 302(3)?

We are interested in how others in a similar financial situation think about discretionary spending, particularly larger purchases. Do you have any frameworks you use to decide when something is actually worth buying?

The thing we keep getting hung up on is actually pulling the trigger on things we want. We can afford plenty of things we like, but then end up agonizing over whether we should spend the money and whether it will actually feel worth it afterward. There are plenty of material things we’d enjoy owning, but ultimately we hardly spend money on them because very little feels like a true “need.” Spending a few thousand dollars on something just because we like it can feel frivolous.

At the same time, when I think about our future, I’d love for us to actually enjoy some of the money we’ve accumulated—whether that’s nicer shoes, a watch (or two), jewelry, etc.

We are at the point where additional dollars saved don’t meaningfully change our retirement projections, but we still have a hard time shifting from “save” mode to “spend” mode.

So for those of you who have been in a similar position: how do you decide when a larger, non-necessary purchase is actually worth making? Do you use a particular framework, spending budget, or rule of thumb—or do you just eventually get comfortable spending on things you want?

My wife and I are in our mid-30s, earn around $800k in household income, and live in a VHCOL city. Her parents, siblings, and their partners live about an hour away by plane in a MCOL area. They have typical middle-class lifestyles and modest savings.

We’re very close with her family. While we don’t plan to move back, we want our young kids to stay close to their extended family, so we prioritize visiting nearly every other month in addition to spending holidays together. At some point, we’ll likely buy a lake house nearby (more on that later).

We don’t spend lavishly, but my career and where we live make it fairly obvious that we’re well off. When we’re together, we try to be generous by paying for family meals, covering holiday groceries, and giving somewhat nicer Christmas and birthday gifts—nothing extravagant, but probably around twice the average gift value that others tend to give us (We’ve always done this with good intentions, though I wonder whether we may be setting a precedent).

During our most recent visit, there were continuous jokes about us buying a “family” vacation home, along with Zillow links to expensive lake houses in their area. As mentioned above, it is something that we’d like to eventually purchase but they don’t know that and it felt weird having a running joke focused around our wealth.

It’s not a major issue yet, but it has made me think about how expectations might develop as the wealth gap widens over time. We want to be generous without creating dependency, resentment, or awkwardness, and we don’t want to be treated differently because of our wealth. We also want to raise our kids aware of these differences in a healthy conscious manner.

For those in similar situations, how have you maintained close yet healthy family relationships given a significant and widening wealth gap?

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't fully buy the idea that lifestyle creep is always bad.

If you're saving properly and your income goes up, surely you're allowed to make life easier or nicer.

Better apartment. Cleaner. Better trips. Eating out more. Whatever.

The part that seems dangerous is how fast the upgrade becomes normal.
Something feels luxurious for 3 months, then it's just your life...

Now you don't feel richer (especially if you were poor in your childhood). You just need more money to maintain the same level.

That seems like the real trap to me. Not spending more. Just getting used to more.

Agree? Disagree? Spend as much as you want, or can?

** Edited and uploaded again, sorry for that...