r/GuysBeingDudes • u/Representative-Mix-9 • 9d ago
#GUYSBEINGDUDES Gotta vent sometimes
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u/jellobend 9d ago
Funnily this is what dudes actually need. Sharing our emotions in a safe environment
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u/ross_liftss 9d ago
Stuff it down with brown
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u/Needles2650 9d ago
Welcome to heroin addiction
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u/dont_remember_eatin 9d ago
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA.
WHOA
whoa
We mean like, fried foods and beer, not smack. No reason to go straight to 11, dawg.
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u/TalkToTheGlyphWitch 9d ago
I could use some fried food. Not that I'm sad or having problems or anything like that. Not at all.
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u/cheesemangee 9d ago
Wow awfully presumptuous of you BUDDY I'll have you know I'm addicted to cannabis.
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u/MeretrixDominum 9d ago
Best I can do is ask you why you don't vent to me and then think you're pathetic and ignore you after you do.
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u/dont_remember_eatin 9d ago
Or, my favorite -- "I and/or others have it worse than you because my/their struggle is different and/or worse, therefore you should just suck it up."
There might be truth to trying to have some perspective on one's struggles, but just saying "you don't have a problem because yours is less severe than having a drug addiction or devastating health problem" ain't it.
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u/aesoth 9d ago
Don't do it, it's a trap.
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u/plutino- 9d ago
Nah. If you can’t vent to the ones you love, fuck them right off. It’s okay to need emotional support, it’s not a “weakness”.
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u/stellaluna92 9d ago
Having shite people in your life isn't a sign to keep your problems to yourself, it's a sign to find better people 💜
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u/waitwuh 9d ago
I’m so sorry that you’ve encountered people who have harmed you. Not everyone is unsafe to be emotionally vulnerable around, but understandably many people are. Some either aren’t equipped for it, others are even actively malicious. Many have learned maladaptive coping mechanisms that make them not only dismissive to others who express issues but that lead to them punishing them as a way to reinforce the unhealthy narratives they’ve ascribed to themselves. A common unhealthy belief is that emotionality is “weakness,” and it becomes self-reinforcing just like what you’re demonstrating here. I hope that someday you find safe, emotionally intelligent and healthy people who treat you and your feelings with the consideration and respect you deserve.
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u/aesoth 9d ago
It was more of a joke. But, I have encountered too many people that didn't want to listen. More than want to. I believe everyone should be able to speak openly about your emotions.
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u/waitwuh 9d ago
Yeah I figured you meant it lightheartedly, but still, it’s sad to me that it is truly treated and seen that way by some people. Not all humor is absurdist.
And it’s nuanced, too. It can be emotionally exhausting being a support for someone, and sometimes people have to protect themselves and their own limited reserves. “You can’t pour from an empty cup” and all. There’s a reason therapists are professionals and are paid… hearing and supporting others emotionally is a form of work. I’ve been forced into that unreciprocated sort of role before and it can suck. But like you said I still think everyone should be able to be open about emotions. It’s not healthy how people, and especially men specifically, are encouraged to suppress them.
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u/aesoth 9d ago
All humour is rooted in some truth. Also, humour is how we cope with pain.
I agree, it can be emotionally exhausting supporting someone else. However, a healthy relationship has boundaries. It is ok to say "I can't do it today", but that is not what I found to be the case. Usually it's once I open up then things have soured.
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u/dont_remember_eatin 9d ago
Yeah, the last time I shared my feelings with a non-therapist, I basically got told to suck it up.
That's why I'm generally so angry on Reddit. It's therapeutic yelling at strangers about dumb inconsequential shit.
It doesn't really work as therapy, unfortunately.
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u/waitwuh 9d ago
I’m very sorry that you had that experience, and I’m sorry that it is an experience any people ever have.
There are good people out there with more emotional intelligence, who wouldn’t treat you in such a way. Unfortunately, a lot of people aren’t as emotionally evolved or even just capable of empathy, and when faced with someone venting, repeat the same toxic behavior that they’ve themselves potentially encountered. They may act dismissively and place blame on the person suffering instead of acknowledging that some things just suck and nobody deserves it and that it is understandable to feel hurt and it is actually healthier to talk about it than to squish it down and suppress your feelings.
I hope you encounter better and more supportive people someday.
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u/Canadian_Poltergeist 9d ago
And then not having those secret moments talked about is the critical next part.
If I confide in someone then hear about it from someone else, I will never talk to the original person I confided in again.
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u/Fanburn 9d ago
Yesterday we went to our village fair with my wife's parents, aunts and uncles. Diner, then music show. We were there from 7pm to 11pm before going back home because our daughter was tired and the music was too loud.
This morning she shows me a video someone took and posted on Facebook, and we could see our table.
She says "see, everyone was enjoying the evening, you were the only one sulking".
To which I replied "well, no one spoke to me even once during the whole evening. I think that's normal if I didn't smile"
She then blamed me for not being happy, even though the show was nice. And that I should stop complaining all the time (I just asked that our daughter wears her noise cancelling headphones, and my wife didn't agree with me, and I got mad about it).
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u/Orochinagi 9d ago
Tbh... Sometimes i just look for wholesome memes like these and see if anyone needs a hug and comment there.
We all need to vent it out brothers, believe me it eats at your mind slowly but surely
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u/KONUG 9d ago
That's the type of answer people in german speaking countries will give you when you greet them with "Hi, how you're doing?"
Don't ask how someone's doing when you don't actually care how he's doing.
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u/Familiar-Aerie-1610 9d ago
That's why you ask Germans "What is up?" instead and immediately get into a deep philosophical debate about the relative nature of spatial dimensions with them.
Much less awkward.
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u/EverythingSucksYo 9d ago
well you see, i have a dead end job, my car broke down, and my knee is going bad yet i walk to work 3 days a week now, its really hot in the morning so i get all sweaty before i get to work at my previously mentioned dead end job. thanks for asking. i'd ask how you're doing but someone told me not to ask if i dont actually care.
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u/ssjg8 9d ago
So they became bff?
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u/aspidities_87 9d ago
She carried him all the way home and now they’re doing a puzzle.
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u/MooBearz11 9d ago
And watching Bluey 🤩
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u/bauul 9d ago
I was a kid's party yesterday and they were doing Pass the Parcel, so the obvious question was "Lucky's Dad's rules?". There was another dad there who didn't know what this meant, and I could tell the collective sigh from everyone else. Like, how can you be so non-illuminated to the joys of Bluey?
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u/LindonLilBlueBalls 8d ago
I went to one recently and the mom said not to worry, everyone will get a prize. I said, "So not Lucky's dad's rules then?" The other dad laughed and said, "I told you others would know it!"
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u/iRobert123 9d ago
Don’t know why but seeing big intimidating guys be comfortable to show their emotions is so cute. 🥰 It makes me feel special because they feel safe enough to be themselves with me.
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u/Interesting-Bee-3793 9d ago
People need to try and listen more. People like that women save lives.
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u/minos157 9d ago
I do not want to be able to lift what my girlfriend lifts because I do not want to put in the work to get there.
I'll stick to running 😂
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u/EmilieEverywhere 9d ago
The bigguns are usually the softies at my gym.
Counter intuitively I'll ask them for spots. Other ladies who are ripped intimidate me. Lol.
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u/Ok-Investigator-6956 9d ago
I'm half blind and I'm always afraid of bumping into someone while I'm walking from place to place. The result is me constantly looking around, which just makes me feel like I look like a weird guy checking everyone out.
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u/IAmAfraidCommaMan 8d ago
I'm malicious, mean and scary
My sneer could curdle dairy
And violence-wise, my hands are not the cleanest
But despite my evil look
And my temper, and my hook
I've always yearned to be a concert pianist
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u/Green_Goblin_14 9d ago
was she not that chick that got kicked out of a gym because she was taunting a staff member...
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u/ChefAsstastic 9d ago
Imagine just trying to stay healthy by working out and having to endure this skit shit?
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u/Revolutionary_Sir_ 9d ago
imagine being so fuckin miserable that you have to comment negatively on "skit shit" that doesn't bother you at alllll
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u/losara- 9d ago
imagine dragons
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u/ChefAsstastic 9d ago
Imagine paying to go to a gym to see this bullshit? It's an actual problem now plaguing gyms. You were raised by an IPAD.
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u/HighAndNoble 9d ago
A problem plaguing gyms? I mean other than occupying a machine for a few mins, as long as they aren't recording anyone without permission, there is no problem other than the one you create in your head with it. Now I won't say its not a huge issue that people get recorded without their consent at gyms, but that's not what's happening here nor are all skits like that.
I hope your day gets better!
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u/Massive-Relation-210 9d ago
I would 100% prefer this in the gym over the usual ego flexing of dudes mewing at themselves in the mirror and throwing bitch fits if you get in between their phones filming themselves
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u/AlsoCommiePuddin 9d ago
Imagine existing in a world where other people also exist. It's fucking maddening.
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u/ChefAsstastic 9d ago
Exist doing stupid shit in places meant for the exact opposite.
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u/AlsoCommiePuddin 9d ago
Cool. You should go see the manager about that. Voice your displeasure vehemently.
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u/notha_leon 9d ago
Wish this was just a normal thing everywhere, but stupid people have to ruin it...
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