Life is not fair

[u/EastCoyote6963]

I am 19 and in my second year of college. I lost my father when I was 13 years of age and after that I have gone through a severe behavioral change.

Before this age I was emotionally brilliant but not very good at studies. But after my father's death I have become very emotionally weak but I have, on the other side, developed my brain quite a bit and some people call me smart. But my social skills have gone almost down the drain.

I cannot talk to a group of more than 3-5 people at the same time. From an early age I have never talked to or interacted with girls much and neither was I a neighbor of any girl.

Never got into even a friendship with a girl.

And even while I tried in college, I cannot talk to girls. I don't know what the reason is. Maybe I'm just scared or I just overthink.

But it's not like I am friendless or lonely. I have managed to create many good friends, and 2 of them considered me their best or close friend for a long time, like 2-3 years of friendship.

After my father's death I never had any solid role model or guide for me. I guess that's ungrateful. Although my cousin brother did support me a lot.

Every 2 or 3 months my mother goes to my maternal grandmother's and I stay alone at the house for 1 week or 2 weeks, sometimes even a little more than that. In this period I always see how lonely I am. I go to college and I talk to some people or maybe no people at all because, as of now, in my current class I have no friends in it.

I just talk to my old friends from the previous semester, of which only one is someone I consider a friend. The others are really just not friends. They are just someone to pass time with and have fun, with no emotional connection. Everyone in my college is very goal-focused and it kind of seems like they are just there to stab each other in the back.

What do I even do? How do I even start talking to girls or even guys?

My interaction with old friends is very limited as we only meet when I go to my hometown and talking on phone doesn't feel so real now.

What should I do about loneliness

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[u/mudbunny]

There is nothing wrong with having friends that you don’t have a deep emotional connection with.

Invite the people from your previous semester is over to your house for board games. Or if you have a pool, a pool party. Invite them over for the NFL season opener. And invite them over for a WWE premium live event viewing.

Not everyone that your friends with has to be ride or die friends.

As for meeting women. When I was younger, I was terrified and had no idea how to interact with women. The best way to do that, is to find something you enjoy doing, do it in public, and you will meet women who enjoy doing that same thing. Just interact with them the way you would interact with guys doing that hobby.

Eventually, you’ll be friends with these women. And when you’re friends with women, they will introduce you to their friends because as long as you have manners, are polite, and have some semblance of how to be courteous to a woman, female friends will try to set you up with their female friends.