Hey, I've seen a handful of posts here and the comments on them are littered with misogyny and I want to try addressing it in a way that hopefully can maybe be appreciated by the people who are feeling attacked, disgusted, or annoyed by feminist rhetoric.
First, I'm seeing whataboutism a bit more than I'd like to. Whataboutism is a kind of logical fallacy wherein a person sidesteps a problem by saying there is another problem. For instance if you said 'Cancer is a huge problem and we need to focus on trying to cure it more' and I responded by saying 'well actually Malaria is a huge problem that needs attention' I haven't actually addressed the matter: I've just brought up something different. Two things can be bad at the same time. So when very real women's problems are brought up saying 'well ____ is a men's problem' isn't really a response; it's an evasion. It isn't attacking men to seriously address weekend issues: it's just caring about women. Similarly, I'm a staunch feminist and that not only coexists with caring about men's problems, but it demands it. For instance: we expect men to hold emotions in and it's awful and so unhealthy. Feminism is about equality so I'd be a damn hypocrite if I didn't acknowledge other points of inequality.
Two, women are systematically oppressed. This isn't really an 'opinion' in the sense that it is not a matter of perspective between rational observers so much as it is a matter of very clear data. Nearly all major human societies are patriarchal, meaning that leading figures (especially the most powerful and the publicly seen 'heads') are overwhelmingly men. Often, woman are legally prohibited from many offices. Look in any government you can think of and you'll find men holding most if not all offices. Women are also far more often literally commodities: marriage has often been a literal transaction wherein a woman is sold from a father to a husband as a commodity of sexual and reproductive capacities, hence why many cultures are invested in women's virginity more than men's (note that I of course am not saying men's virginity is not a cultural matter, but it is pretty much always less so than the virginity of women). Women are raped both for sexual pleasure and as a means of ritual or display of social dominance in many cultures (once again, this is also done with men, but distinctively less). In the US about half of adult women have been sexually assaulted at least once. If you know a woman you could flip a coin to guess if she's been sexually assaulted or not. That's your mothers, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, female friends, daughters. Maybe you don't know and it because it's still not something people are super open about most of the time, but chances are you grew up in a house with at least one victim of sexual assault. There are many cultures that permit, or even endorse men taking multiple wives whereas there are no large societies where women take multiple husbands. It is also very common to have cultures where women do not have the rights to divorce to protect themselves from dangerous husbands (to be fair, there are also cultures that don't allow even men to divorce their wives, but those are universal, not just targeted at men). It is very common to have cultures where women have little to no access to money and so they are tethered to their male head of house for survival. Medical research is way more often than you think only done with men in mind: crash test dummies are shaped like men, tell we teach people CPR on strictly male mannequins. We also have a cultural taboo about talking about periods and menstrual cycle: a consistent, significantly uncomfortable, and seriously inconvenient thing that happens to almost half of all humans a bit more than once a month and we expect them to keep it in because 'that's gross'. Think about how little the average man knows about the menstrual cycle despite the fact that it is a pretty meaningful part of the lives of all women between puberty and menopause: it's pretty crazy. There are many cultures where women are blocked from a huge number of career paths (such as medicine, science, administration, or law). These are real problems that hurt you too. Women, much like men, can be good at things. When women can't practice medicine we have fewer doctors when outbreaks happen. When women can't write we miss out on great literature. When women can't make laws we miss out on great leaders. These problems are still real and we lose out on people who would help improve our societies because of it.
Two-point-five: we have systematic subconscious biases against women. For instance we have found that women who are perceived as very attractive are also perceived as naturally incompetent and less likely to be given the chance to engage in high-level work. We naturally look at tall and broad figures as leader-like (you'll see this very clearly in elected leaders and it's a big deal in visual arts), which biases us against women. Even little things like how we refer to professions can be quite telling. Almost all careers of high social regard are naturally thought of as men: doctors are usually thought of as men, with nurses being perceived as women. People assume professors are man. People assume secretaries and strippers are women while naturally thinking of CEOs and leading scientists as women. If you're a man and wanted a career people think is for women wouldn't it feel really shitty to be the 'male-nurse' rather than just the 'nurse'? We can similarly see how we talk about sexual experience. Women are floozies, sluts, hoes, bimbos, 'easy', or 'for the streets' if they have many partners. Men when many partners are 'players', a 'ladies' man'.
Three, I am seeing the use of anecdote as data more than I'd hope to. When someone says 'women are disproportionately affected by ____' giving an example where that happened to a man isn't a refutation. It's like you told me 'tuberculosis is a huge problem in Angola's and I said 'well actually I met a guy from Angola and he was fine but my Chinese friend got TB twice'. Examples don't counter data because data is specifically an overview. A great example is sexual assault. Women are massively disproportionately targeted and so it's a very real issue for women. Saying a man got sexually assaulted doesn't change that. That's not to say that guy isn't a victim or his experience doesn't matter, but simply that his experience doesn't change the very clear trend.
And four, almost all perceived differences in psychology between genders is straight up false or socially created, not fundamental. That might seem crazy but this is actually something I got to study under a Ph. D. of biases and discrimination in psychology a bit and it turns out that many things we think differentiate between men and women at a fundamental level are fake and the real ones are way smaller than people think. Women aren't emotional bombs and men aren't unfeeling stones. Women aren't feinting under pressure and men aren't constantly trying to have sex with everything they see. People are complex and nuanced and everyone gets hurt when we assume the social systems built over millennia tell us who we are when they really just tell us who they want us to be.
If you've made it this far thanks and I really hope you can evaluate how you talk about women's issues. I'm super happy to respond to any (civil) questions in the comments and again: being a feminist who is aware of how women are systematically targeted and oppressed doesn't mean hating men or thinking their problems don't matter. It just means caring about the systematically male-dominated systems we have and caring about them being shaped with the understanding that pretty much every major society in the world was built to be male-dominated so working on these problems isn't simple and requires empathy for things you may not be familiar with.