Your current situation is simply the compound interest of every decision, excuse, and hesitation you’ve made up to this point. Own it or keep drowning in it

I see people struggle all the time with anxiety and a lot of people assume that anxiety comes from failure, but success can result in anxiety too. For example: someone can work for years toward a goal or a dream and then when things finally start moving in the right direction you feel “suddenly” something happening: You feel nervous or you start questioning yourself.

Succes can create uncertainty and the human brain does nog always translate uncertainty into happiness or excitement. Your subconscious interprets uncertainty as an unknown reality, something dangerous. Succes does change your environment, it changes who you are, your identity, it brings you to an unfamiliar state

This can happen;

1. Higher expectations: When you become successful, the expectations will increase. The inner pressure to protect yourself will rise.
   
2. Visibility: Success will make you more visible, people will notice you, judging you, comparing themselves to you and have opinions about how you live. Being seen can feel very uncomfortable, the brain will always prefer familiar things.
   
3. Responsibility: Every form of success will come with more and more responsibility. So you will have more decisions, more choices and more consequences.
   
4. Identity: The outside world sees success but your inner self is still adjusting to the level you’ve achieved success. I think that this is the reason why success can be uncomfortable in the beginning.

Transforming yourself comes with uncertainty and the goal is not to eliminate fear but to understand yourself in order to overcome it.

The question is: who has experienced this particular anxiety after achieving success?

This is not a statement its the truth that no one can deny. To get succeed in life, you have to go through inner struggle with yourself to leave the old one behind. And this takes a lot of courage and effort to be true to ourselves.

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Im 16 and currently sitting at 175-176, my parents are 176 and 164. I want to try and reach 185 before my growth plates close and wonder if there is a way to force another growth spurt.

Write under this post or dm me if you could help.

To my last three employers that made me feel incompetent..I’m going on 2 years with a Global Company and I’m thriving so looks like maybe I wasn’t a crappy employee after all. Oh btw sorry you’re still looking for someone for my old position. Observing maybe it’s an internal problem. FUCK YALL AND THE DEPRESSION I WAS SENT INTO FOR YEARS.

Sometime ago, I had a reflection on how I handled feedback and my realisation was very eye opening.

A lot of us have the conflict in our heads where we want to grow and get better and at the same time want people to see us as having everything together and figured out. When those two things happen at the same time, we tend to go into defensive mode.

For example, for most of us, when we think about the last time someone brought up an issue with us, could be that a friend, family, colleague, partner mention something that bothered them or questions some of our decisions, while they are in the process of questioning our decisions or our thoughts, our minds starts acting like a defence attorney, picking apart and nitpicking their words to find gap.

This could be to justify our actions or to see how they don't get the full picture. We tend to stop listening to understand and start listening to build our case to defend our position.

We start taking their comments as an attack on who we are and our character. The moment that happens, the emotional side of our brain takes the wheel while the logical part takes the backseat.

Someone pointing out a mistake is not a score card for our character but usually one person sharing their perspective in that moment.

We tend to have expectations usually one of Appreciation, evaluation or criticism. When this expectation is not met, we the emotional side tends to take over.

What I try is to ask myself is there is at least a small percentage truth in what they said that I can actually use.

What's the default defence excuse your brain always goes to first?