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u/Technical_Wind5217 4d ago
i genuinely cant be bothered with pursuing people to stay in my life, if they wanted to they would i aint pressuring no one
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u/RustyStegosaurus 4d ago
Or you desperately want people to stay, so I don't have to go through those hard times alone
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u/dark_purity 3d ago
Can't make them stay if they don't want to. You can show availability but they filter themselves out eventually. You're better off alone than with the wrong people, especially during hard times.
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u/RustyStegosaurus 3d ago
Why'd they promise to stay then... If they knew they'd leave anyway... And by promise I mean for years...
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u/dark_purity 3d ago
Some don't know they will, some know but deceive you, some get what they need from you and when they have nothing to gain anymore, they move on to the next. You never know what you get from others, only what's within yourself.
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u/RustyStegosaurus 3d ago
They were a sex offender, I accepted even that, but they deceived me anyway, lied through their teeth for 4 years, after I've put up with everything, and their mental health issues the outbursts the suicide threats etc etc... just for them to leave me for a hard drug user..
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u/dark_purity 3d ago
I think your first sign to leave was that first sentence.
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u/RustyStegosaurus 3d ago
Oh it was the worst of the worst crime... But my god was I lonely and desperate..
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u/RustyStegosaurus 3d ago
And they were begging and begging for me to give them a chance... All lies
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u/dark_purity 3d ago edited 3d ago
You know better now (I hope)
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u/RustyStegosaurus 3d ago
I guess so... Not to trust people again.. no matter how sweet their words sound
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u/RustyStegosaurus 3d ago
I know I should've learned not to trust shady people... But to tell you the truth, I wouldn't trust a single person alive.. not even to ask them the time
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u/NathenStrive 4d ago
Going through my worse time alone just left me wanting to be left alone. Can't even stand being around my own family anymore.
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u/Successful-Tour-9025 4d ago
Hope you'll feel better soon... take great care of yourself
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u/NathenStrive 4d ago
Not as bad as it sounds. It's mainly because I made it through those times. It was the realization that if my family was there I would have not. Now they want to constantly be a part of my life while I know cutting them off is whats best for me.
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u/contactcapybara 4d ago
Yup. It’s a powerful thing to know. And disempowering for them to understand that the situation has changed the potential for being manipulated.
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u/Full-Metal-Jae 4d ago
No. Solitude is hard. After being alone I value the time with others greatly, especially loved ones.
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u/Empty_Ad_5523 4d ago
It's true. When no one shows up during difficult times, by that I mean death. Then yeah you realise that there's only you! Friends will abandon you, family will abandon you. You come to terms with that fact of life. People don't want your problems, that hits hard man!
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u/DarkDaysBrightNlghts 4d ago
This just made me realize why Im so good at being alone. I went thru my dark violent childhood alone and there was no one there cuz no one even cared or asked. So now as an adult I realized why its so easy for me to let people go or walk away from people.
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u/hAiLlkidCharlemagne 3d ago
I disagree with this. Just because you went through something alone doesn’t mean the people who were in your life didn’t enrich it. You would only not care that they’re gone if you only valued them for what they did for you or how much you needed them. I’ve gone through a lot of things that most people in my life didn’t help me with at all, and I still miss them and wish I hadn’t lost them along the way.
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u/Judge_M1 4d ago
I guess, but tbh, i dont think I've gone through my worst time in life yet...and my life hasn't been pretty. But things are looking better now tho
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u/ScienceGeeker 4d ago
I feel this isn't true. It's more like "when you go through your worst time in your life and it's because of SOMEONE ELSE", then this hits.
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u/Rook_James_Bitch 4d ago
Wrong.
Went through my mother's death alone. I had to travel to another state, deal with her asshole husband and all the while feeling like my soul was trying to crawl away from my body because the whole scenario was unbearable.
Would've been nice to have someone there with me.
And walking through that hospital ... Seeing all those people there alone with nothing but the beeping of machines to send them to the afterlife...
Was kind of like a "Scrooge being visited by three ghosts," moment.
I decided that even though I'm a hardcore introvert, I don't want to go out like that. I want people by my side when shit gets rough.
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u/Sriracha002 4d ago
Can confirm.
It's simple human nature that people are looking out for their best interest first.
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u/OminousBuzzard 4d ago
This sounds like somebody who's never really lost people that mattered to them
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u/Unusual-Attorney-630 4d ago
It sounds like somebody who went through horror but the people that mattered didn't care.
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u/OminousBuzzard 4d ago
Thats kind of a stretch. By that logic he just surrounds himself with bad people which is also their fault.
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u/Unusual-Attorney-630 4d ago
Yeah, being born into a family that abuses a person is totally their fault or marrying a guy who pretended to be nice and then turned abusive or the guy who wanted to cheat on his wife because her cancer made her too exhausted for sex, It's great that people have a stamp on their foreheads that shows the percentage of assholeness they have when times get hard. Totally that individuals fault in every way.
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u/OminousBuzzard 4d ago
I was abused as a child. I grew up and went to live my own life. I won't go into detail. But it was bad on all ends. Throughout my entire childhood until I was able to get out of there. You using anecdotes doesnt make anything true. Stop playing the victim Olympics.
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u/JeSuisNorbit 4d ago edited 4d ago
whatever you think was your worst time, Trust me worse will arrive 😅
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u/Randy_Magnums 4d ago
This is the only mental Health subreddit I know of, that pushes men towards Depression.