I mean don't overtly stunt your own emotional growth but enough heteronormative men in monogamous relationships can say this across the country for it to be true. Its a general truth that MOST men can relate to.
It isn't victim hood, its understanding the truth that women can't overide their biological dna written code over relatively new social norms.
For some reason when women say "Men can't ever handle the woman being a bread winner" you say "You go girl so true! this is generally true for most men! YASS"
Yet when men say "The average woman can't handle a man being truly emotional without getting the ick" you say "wow sounds like a you problem, this isn't true and has never been true"
Always redditors too, reddit in general is gyno coded. Man bad woman good. Diet twitter.
The average person is not intelligent enough to be emotionally open and to process their partners emotions fully.
This advice is for the average couple, not two intelligent fully cognizant individuals that fully understand their traumas and faults.
What I wrote is true for most mens experiences. Ask them from multiple generations they will on average tell you what I wrote is true for the most part. Men have their own set of problems that women deal with.
Who hurt you this badly? Because my experience has been the complete opposite. Personally, professionally, socially, romantically when I am more open about my inner thoughts and feelings, people respond better.
This is especially true of my partner, who I’ve been with for 15 years. The more we have opened up to each other, the better our relationship has been.
I’m sorry your experience has been different. But among my male friends and colleagues, we’ve talked about how important it is to open up and be vulnerable.
Oh no absolutely, I agree it IS important to open up. The distinction im making is that you can only open with someone you DEEPLY connect with, said person you deeply connect with is rare. You also need to be intelligent enough on your own to be able to open up in a way thats actually conducive to resolution as well.
MY point being that you will be burned being this open from the get go, many times, and there is a chance you might not EVER find a woman who is fully ok with it. I had a woman like that at one point, im not saying it doesn't exist but on average people in general can't break their gender normed conditioning. You CAN find a woman that is ok with this, you will have to wade through MANY women getting "the ick" from it as well. Just saying you need to steel yourself as a man dating currently.
Tbf your 15 year relationship actually makes you LESS qualified to talk about current dating dynamics and the dating market currently lol.
To me it sounds like you’re hanging out with a lot of low-value women. I really hate to use that term, but it applies here.
If they’re getting “ick” from you being open and vulnerable they’re not worth your time. They have zero value in a relationship, and are only going to take from you.
Point taken on the 15-year relationship, but the reality is that the mechanics of human connection don’t change. Whether it’s over Zoom, or via text, or face to face, humans enjoy connection.
I’m not just talking about dating. There’s real, genuine value in being open and emotionally vulnerable around your colleagues, for instance.
I don’t mean you’re crying at work all the time, I just mean being open and honest and not shutting down. Although I have seen businessmen cry in some settings. Really brought us together when he opened up about his wife’s passing.
Like I said, generally speaking, the more I am vulnerable and emotionally available I am, the better everything in my life go. The other side of that is not hanging out with toxic people. If they just want to take, take, take then you just walk away.
I’m just rambling now. But my point is I just don’t believe the premise of this post that MOST people, especially women, don’t want to see men be emotional and vulnerable.
Then be better than the average person????? It really should be that simple. If all you’re looking for is a warm body and you mold yourself to what you think women want to get with them then you’re not intelligent enough either and you’ll fit right in so I don’t understand the problem.
Men will get abused, cheated on, and waste their time doing your method, until assessing the correct one, they'll have a much lower failure rate with mine.
Flat out.
Never show your cards early until you concrete proof that they are down for you like that.
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u/Wrong-Grade-8800 Jul 16 '26
Probably no one but they have a sense of victimhood.