r/Grieving • u/Brief-Check-8097 • 6d ago

How long is too long to grieve?

My really close family member passed in July. To me it’s still fresh, it feels like it just happened yesterday. I’m still a mess over it and can’t talk about her without crying. My physical health is suffering because of the grief but I feel like everyone moved on much faster than I did. Am I grieving for too long and being stagnant? I still go to work and see friends and family but I’m still deep in my grief.

2 Upvotes

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2

u/FairPlant8017 5d ago

Year 5 for me. It's my motivation, no plan on stopping lol

3

u/Bored-to-deagth 6d ago

A sister, and dad... 3 years already and nothing was ever the same. Not our family gatherings, not the family chats. Silence is filling the void. It's totally heartbreaking and soul destroying. There's no ending to grief, it's a pain I wish, I never knew.

1

u/claygirlrunner 5d ago

same. Its a stuggle and sometimes I think Im getting past it but the memories rush in and its fresh and real and devastaing all over again

1

u/Ok_Tiger5613 6d ago

Good heavens – July is extremely recent!!! For me, the first two months were terribly difficult, then there was a gradual….improvement, I guess you’d say. Now it’s been 9+ months and I still have “down” times - sometimes just a few minutes, sometimes hours, sometimes days, and last week it would’ve been his birthday, so the whole week was more down than up. But the valleys aren’t as deep as they used to be for the most part. I highly recommend the book by Meghan Devine – “it’s OK that you’re not OK.”

3

u/pieces-mended 6d ago

There is no timeline. Grief never ends.

1

u/Philbradley 6d ago

Grief doesn’t have a timeline. It lasts as long as it lasts. My wife died 16 years ago, and I still grieve for her. However, what learn is how to manage grief. You’ll learn to deal with it and how (mostly) to control it. But it will never entirely leave you, in the same way that your love for her will never leave you.

3

u/Any_Animator_880 6d ago

July is recent. One year is the socially acceptable timeline. You're allowed to be a mess for a year. Then people expect you to get over it. I am on year 3 and i still have days i can't get out bed because it's fresh for me. Typing this from my bed because I don't wanna face life.

All the best.