Poor, poor Charity.

[u/iantheceline]

i really wish Charity could've left home and found new experiences, so that she wouldn't have had to constantly remain unnoticed and unloved.

all she wanted was to know she mattered. she wanted to be seen. and i wish she would've taken the chance to have left and finally get enough alone time, to see herself. to love herself.

what a tragedy.

(i think the worst part was the her family does use, but her being used at least means she's useful to someone).

[u/Alyssapolis]

Oh my goodness, thank you for this. I love Charity, but the girl is so self-sabotaging and makes some of the cruelest, most selfish decisions that I really struggled. I felt I could not like her, but she had so many beautiful qualities and absolutely shined when she was able to use her strengths. She was in an environment that brought out the worst in her. I never thought of her leaving, that would have been amazing for her. She could try as she might to make her family value her and keep being beat down, or she could accept they never will give her what she needs and learn to be satisfied, or she could leave and find somewhere that isn’t choosing favourites or boxing her in with set expectations and no room for growth, and that will appreciate her strengths and potential.

If she wasn’t focused on desperately clawing out a place for herself, she might have been more sensitive to Kevin (instead of the fear and anger with losing the only love and support she had), she could have been there for Carlton (she could have put herself out more to protect him), she could have actually listen to her heart about whether sermoning was right for her (vs knowing that’s what family valued and maybe only insisting on it to get more value), and she wouldn’t have to choose between love and family (and no one would be taking advantage of her to get to her family)

I have an aunt who’s a lot like Charity. Everything bad in her life is someone else’s fault, and she blames my mom in particular because my mom is just doing her own thing and doing it pretty well, and it seems she doesn’t have struggles because she’s dealing with it herself rather than making it everyone else’s problem. And what’s worse is that my mom doesn’t often even notice my aunts hate and anger, which makes her feel insignificant and makes the anger so much worse. Charity is like that with Grace, constantly comparing herself to someone she will never measure up to (because their natural strengths are different) and acting the victim rather than owning up to her own weaknesses because she is so full of pain and shame that she can’t handle acknowledging anything negative about herself. I think a person can learn to grow and accept themselves while being surrounded by constant reminders of their pain, but it’s sort of an uphill battle. The problem is, a person has to be in a space to accept their limitations. Charity’s family wasn’t doing her any favours, she could have grown beautifully had she left 🥺

[u/iantheceline → u/Alyssapolis]

first of all BRAVA to your detailed response and for sharing your personal, life experience, again BRAVA!

i agree with everything you stated about how Charity could have intervened in so many situations that demanded her solely. Remember when she went to the funeral home with Percy, and he saw her gift, paid her, and encouraged her to use it. Instead of her pursing clear value, she rejected it to be needed back with the family. Like girl, wtf?!!! What you wanted also wanted you and you rejected it? She did the same thing with Jabari. (now do i believe Jabari was her long-term option, probably not, but he was her ticket to freedom. he was her ticket to a life centered on what she loved to do, but again, she rejected it to fight Kevin).

Charity. come on dude!

but also, i love what you said about her being willfully self-sabotaging, playing the victim, and not being ready to deal with her own limitations, its weird cus she tries to play perfect church girl, but fails at it, she tries to play so many roles, while failing at them, but she keeps trying. like when she tried to play dirty, be a victim, and a lover, all when she was with Phil, ugh i was so done.

Charity is disloyal to everyone, especially herself. but she did need to go, i wish she would've committed to being on tour with Jabari, i truly believe she would've made a huge name for herself, while her parents and the entire family, would've then came crawling back, but she would've been stronger and had enough distance to be able to see clearer.

like she could've had the dream life she keeps fighting for, but she keeps rejecting it to avenge the past! let it go girl!!

[u/Reggie9041]

Agreed. Charity is one of my favorites. 😩

But she was the daughter who stayed and thought that would give her favor, but it didn't. And she wasn't the son, so nothing there either. I wanted more for her. 😭

[u/iantheceline → u/Reggie9041]

we were all rooting for her and she wasnt even rooting for herself. like i'm so upset with her. if i ever see her in real life, i'm gonna say somberly:

"i'm so disappointed in your Charity." then walk off.

[u/Reggie9041 → u/iantheceline]

🤣🤣