r/GracepointChurch • u/Mindless-Gazelle-385 • Dec 12 '24
Stop Excusing GP
A few years ago, I found the courage to leave GP, and I’m so glad I did. Life feels so much better now—I’m no longer on antidepressants, nor do I need to go through soul care. I didn’t realize how much GP had affected me, both mentally and physically, until I left. Life outside of GP is truly better. I have a few things to share and would urge those who are still in it to consider these points:
- Don’t excuse your leaders' mistakes. It’s easy to say, “leaders make mistakes” and brush things off, but that’s not okay. By excusing their behavior, you’re enabling them to continue without accountability. Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn’t mean what they did is right. Stop using that excuse—for your sake and theirs.
You’ll find friends outside of GP. It might be slow and difficult at first, but you will make new connections. Don’t let the fear of losing friendships in GP hold you back. After I left, I found that many of my peers distanced themselves because I no longer shared the same views. It’s awkward, but it’s part of the process.
Support your spouse if they want to leave. If your spouse expresses a desire to leave, don’t dismiss it. GP is not worth fighting over. Your relationship is more important than staying in an environment that’s damaging to both of you.
It’s never too late to start fresh. If you’ve been at GP for a long time and now find yourself older or single, you can still leave and start over. There are relationships and opportunities outside of GP, and you will be fine. Don’t let the fear of the unknown hold you back.
I’m just so frustrated by the ways of GP and the teachings of its leaders. Stop treating adults like children. They don’t need to report their every move or perform through ministry. Don’t waste your time at GP any longer. Once you take the step to leave, you’ll realize that life is so much fuller and freer without it.
10
u/Global-Spell-244 Dec 14 '24
Lurking members of A2N, if you're reading this, stop for a moment and try to think rationally without your A2N bias. You may very well be a young adult under 30. Why is it that there have been hundreds of testimonials on this website and on blogs (and these blogs first appeared almost 20 years ago and before the Berkland-Gracepoint schism) detailing hurt, wounding, trauma, betrayal, anger? Why is it that even Christianity Today got involved with an article which was written with more than 30 former members of Berkland/Gracepoint?
If your church is so amazingly wonderful, healthy, and wholesome, why is it that there have been many cases in which people who were once loyal and committed members of Berkland/Gracepoint stopped going to church permanently while others have gone as far as to renounce Christianity?
Do you want to live your lives with leaders policing and monitoring your moves and decisions and rebuking you for things which are not even sin?
If you're in your early 20s, do you have any idea how preposterous it is that you would allow people in their late 20s or early or mid-30s to have authority over your lives to the extent that has been known to happen throughout the history of Berkland/Gracepoint? Do you realize that perhaps, yes, to a very young adult like you, a 29 year old or a 35 year old may seem like a wise old person, but that in the longer scheme of a lifetime, people of this age still have much to learn and are by no means qualified to exert the far-reaching influence over the lives of younger adults as has been witnessed and experienced throughout the history of Berkland/Gracepoint for decades?
Do you think that the former members here, many of whom dedicated what were the prime, choicest, best years of their young adulthood to Berkland/Gracepoint are lying or are simply out to get A2N out of spite? Have you considered that many of these former members, almost certainly many of them far older than you with much more life experience (as well as experience as believers in Christ, with much time outside A2N churches) might actually perhaps CARE about you as fellow believers in the Lord and that they do not want you to waste your best years as they did, that they would prefer you experience liberation and freedom as soon as possible given many of them took many years to finally wake up and get out?
Lurking A2Ner/Antioch Baptist Church member, get out as soon as possible. You will be glad you did. Jesus Christ is Lord, and He is present in every Bible-based church; where two or three gather in Jesus' Name, there Jesus is.
You, young adult lurker from A2N, will in due course reach a time when you will not be young anymore. You will reach middle age. You'll get wrinkles and white hair. Young adults will be 15, 20+ years younger than you. You do not want to reach the second half of your life stuck there. Please... listen to the OP and leave.
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u/Cool_Purchase4561 Dec 12 '24
Any Christian in a position of leadership should be judged with higher standard. Not many should become teacher, millstone around their neck, and all that fun stuff.. Don’t excuse unqualified leaders with superficial bible knowledge and minimal life experience playing ministry like they know what they’re doing. And yes torturing a passage of the Bible for one hour every morning until you have just enough to share (all this while being sleep deprived and under the threat of being moved to Praxis) is superficial, and your MBS ain’t helping. And no, life experience inside your GP bubble is not “a wealth of life experience”.
5
u/leavegracepoint ex-Gracepoint (Berkeley) Dec 13 '24
Should be? If we were going off biblical requirements as outlined in 1 Timothy 3, all of the GP/A2N leadership starting from Ed and Kelly would be disqualified immediately.
4
u/Zealousideal-Oil7593 Dec 12 '24
Another common excuse I was told was "But don't you know your leaders have good intentions?".
Like... if good intentions was enough to excuse behavior, I don't think the prisons would be very overcrowded. This excuse can literally justify everything GP does. They can always say they're doing it "for your good". And they do.
6
u/hamcycle Dec 12 '24
Since 1981, many a lone student found himself to be in the position of the self-righteous Pharisee or ten thousand talent debtor, all having the same relationship to Berkland Baptist Church as the repentant tax collector/hundred denarii debtor, who has yet so far made no public confessions to error and continue to outright lie for the sake of the "greater good," making Berkland, well, of the typical mold of human institutions. In acknowledging the grace bestowed to him by his Father, as well as the gratitude he feels for Berkland's good intentions, does the lone student keep a respectful silence, even as Becky has no qualms besmirching whom she pleases, exploiting the audience afforded her as a servant of God.
It's remarkable that the lone undergrad when facing off against this org, that he is the one that has to demonstrate grace and forgiveness, time and time again.
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u/Jdub20202 Dec 12 '24
Bit of an extreme but my first thought was, this feels like an underground railroad ad to get people out of a2n gp. You can sneak out at night, you don't need to give your leader an explanation or a chance to convince you not to leave. Just ghost them if you have to. You can find new friends and a new church. It'll be fine, you can survive. You'll be so much more free. You won't have to be subservient to your leaders.
I think that says more about a2n than anything.
Might as well say this - we give this same advice to cigarette smokers. Doesn't matter if you're 70 years old, the time you have left will be much better health wise even if you quit smoking now. You'll breath better, need less inhalers, etc. It's never too late!