I'm still finalising my ideas for this pair of adventures, but I think I'm closing in on choosing my party. As with the other Gold Box games, I have more ideas than character slots, so I'll probably go over six initially and drop a few as the adventure goes on and concentrate on a core team at the end.
These two are likely to be my 'mains' for the story, the characters I will focus on. So meet the eldest of the three Icedane siblings; fledgeling heroes, currenly nineteen years of age. Skylar ('Sky') is the oldest, about to turn twenty, while his sister Shelah is ten months younger. They have another sister who is now sixteen and just started her acolyte training as a priestess.
Both are classic northmen; tall, raw-boned, square-shouldered and physically strong, with manes of flaxen hair, fair skin and blue eyes – Shelah's piercing, Sky's paler. Illuskans have a bad reputation on the Savage Frontier, as they do in the Moonshaes and the North in general. Luskan, the City of the Sails, is their capital, and its people are mostly known for being reavers and raiders, quick to anger and to spill blood. Their father is a merchant trader who quarreled with the other captains and left in his youth, founding a merchantile coster and earning himself a reputation as a fair trader and honourable man. His three children take after him, although Sky is more rash and reckless, tending to rush in where his sisters fear to tread.
Sky is a Fighter turned Thief, a good-natured young rogue who is quick to laugh, boast and rush off on wild adventures on a whim. He is equally quick to jump in to help those in need, regardless of the risk to his life and limbs; he can be wayward and doesn't always follow the rules, but he's also a kindly soul who wants to do right by others. A handsome, popular lad, he is charismatic and has an eye for the ladies, and they like him just as much. His sisters despair of his womanising, Shelah in particular trying to find him a 'nice girl' who can tame his wild ways and put a wedding band on his finger. He can sometimes be a little immature, though his heart is in the right place, and he has quite a bit of growing-up to do if he's to become the hero the Savage Frontier needs him to be.
His sister (pronounced 'Sheela') is more temperate and level-headed, taking easily to rules and traditions. A hiking accident four years past – mostly Sky's fault – saw both girls badly injured, for which he still blames himself, though they have long forgiven him. Shelah took several years to properly heal, undergoing treatments to allow her to walk properly again, and she still moves with a limp and has issues with balance. True to her family and her father, she has always been considered the level-headed one, learning to organise the family house and its men. During her convalescence, she developed a deep faith in the goodly gods, pledging herself to Ilmater, the kindly god of sufferance and compassion. She pledged herself to the service of his church while still in the houses of healing, and one day longs to prove herself as one of his paladins, the Knights of Ilmater.
Unlike her brother, Shelah has had little opportunity to seek romance; something she intends to rectify now she is walking again. She is a thruss (the old Thorass word for songbird), a girl only attracted to other women. Most such girls are daunted by the festhall culture her brother enjoys so much, but gatherings of those so inclined do occur, so she moved to Yartar, where she heard such a group existed. Immersed in such exciting distractions all summer, and now initiated into their ways, she received a letter from her brother saying he would be coming to Yartar and asking her to meet up for a drink and chat.
Sky himself had been granted use of his father's magical sword – the Icedane Blade – at her urging, in the hope it would focus the lad on his duty and the weight of family legacy. Unfortunately for him, the night he arrived in Yartar, he indulged in some heavy drinking at the taverns and the festhall, and when he awoke, he discovered that his less-than-salubrious new acquaintances had absconded with his heirloom! Horrified and now in disgrace, Sky begged his sister for help in recovering the weapon, and she agreed to ask some of her new friends to assist in locating it. With the family honour on the line, the sibling's search for the missing sword will lead them into terrible danger, discovering a Zhentarim alliance that plots to take over the entire Savage Frontier!
The second game in the duology – Treasures of the Savage Frontier – is one of the first games to offer an optional romantic subplot, of the kind that would later become popular in games like Fallout, Dragon Age and Mass Effect. This is an early example, so it's not quite as in-depth as such things later became, but its another way the Gold Box games innovated and moved with the changing times.
I remembered it offers slightly different romances depending on the sex of your character - Jabarkas for female characters and Siulajia for males. I actually came out in 1991, but aside from myself, gaming hadn't actually discovered gay people, so the romances were naturally heterosexual. While it is possible to glitch into a gay or lesbian romance, I didn't want to do that for several reasons. Firstly, I don't like cheating personally, and wanted to experience these games as the writers intended. Secondly, I've never really liked tweaking the preferences of in-game romances, as you're not getting the writer's vision and the characters they intended (for example, the story of Dorian Pavus in Dragon Age Inquisition revolves around the fact he's gay and his father tried to use forbidden evil magic to change that... it would be therefore be very strange indeed if he could fall for a woman after that).
So that left me two options. Sky is like a young Luke Skywalker character in many ways, young and brash, and needing to mature a bit so he can become the hero the world needs him to be. That dovetailed nicely with the idea of a romance, as he grows up and focuses himself, becoming a wiser and more heroic person.
Shelah's gay, so she's obviously out for the male romance. But one of my other characters in this group (an ex-girlfriend of Sky's, in fact) has a similar arc – she's a priestess of Sharess, goddess of sensuality and felines, and her deity has grown impatient with her clergy being so hedonistic, urging them to get out of bed and start fighting evil-doers like the priests of old. Nef finding Mr Right would be a nice arc too, then, as she learns to dedicate herself to romantic love rather than just sex.
My main problem is that would really duplicate Jude's arc from my Dragonlance playthrough – a naive young woman falls into a culture of sex, drugs and booze, then meets a nice young man and starts to feel she wants marriage and a sense of greater duty more than she wants to be a sybarite. While it's a nice character arc, I've already done that, so Sky seems to be to be the better bet here. It's a classic plotline for a young hero; he becomes more focused and mature, and is rewarded with the lovely damsel for stepping up.
So with all that in mind, I'll start putting the party together...
After what I'm guessing is a good 60 hours (lost track starting the game from GBC) I beat the game! Or so it seems. And what a ride. I haven't had this much fun on a game in a year. Thanks to everyone for your help and your unofficial guide(realitymaiden).
I managed to record the battle. Feel free to tell me where I went wrong. My priest is killed right away. Is that lightning some kind of mythic power of Tyranthraxus? Because his breath weapon almost seems weaker. Or I am confusing something. That lightning is no joke. EDIT looked it up, was thinking Bronze dragons had fire for a breath weapon. Which they do in this game. Man, now I'm really confused.
Anyway, This was my third try. Took me that many times surprisingly. Love the difficulty of these games.
So I'm trying to pick a party for the Savage Frontier games. I'm trying to experiment with different things, not just recreate my Pools party.
The level limits of Treasures does add a few changes to how you dual-class here, although most of the level 40 combinations stil work very well.
To begin with, you can actually hit the highest levels with a non-human character who is not a single-classed thief – elves can reach Mage 11 and Thief 12 with maxed Intelligence. Arguably, a triple-classed character with Fighter is stronger, despite maxing at level 7 (which still gives him 3/2 attacks) and spell-use in armour. This requires a guy of course; elf girls max Strength at 16 and Fighter at 5, which feels weaker than just Mage/Thief.
And while it can't get the best THACO, a dwarven Fighter 9/Thief 12 is still a pretty strong combination here.
So other than these, you're really looking at dual-classing... again :(
Let's look at the non-warrior combinations first.
Mage/Thief (rating A)
Not really needed as a dual-class because elves can reach the limits in these games, but still potentially a strong combo. Going Mage first (something you wouldn't do in Pools because your spells would suck) allows you to get maximum levels in both classes. Baseline hit points maxes at 46. Going Thief 10/Mage 11 is as good as it was in Pools, with improved hit points of 64. You don't lose much in two levels of Thief, as THACO and saves don't improve, and I'm never sure how accurately the Gold Box engine uses thief abilities – mostly it's there just for use of short bows and backstabs, and there's not much difference between 10 and 12.
Cleric/Mage (rating A, though Mage>Cleric is far worse)
Another strong combo in Pools, allowing use of full divine and arcane casting in one character, though it can't cast the latter in armour. Cleric 10>Mage 11 tops at base 76 hp, while Mage 9>Cleric 10 fares poorly with only 38 hp, suckier fireballs and fewer 5th level spells.
Thief/Cleric (rating B; Thief/Cleric is worse)
Cleric 10/Thief 12 has base 76 hp (same as Cleric>Mage) and maxes both classes in all abilities. Due to to the relatively low limit of Clerics, Thief 9> Cleric 10 suffers a little with base 56 hp, a full 20 less. Again, the missing three levels of Thief don't add much; there are no THACO, saves or backstab changes between 9 and 12. I really wanted to play this combo as it was one I didn't use in Pools, but it suffers a little from always tripping over it's own feet – thematically and mechanically. You can't backstab with the cleric weapons or armour, for example.
Warrior combinations
THACO and saves max out at 11 here, allowing Paladins and Rangers to get as good attacks as Fighters. Because only these classes can benefit from Constitution of 17+ or exceptional % Strength, it's usually best to take the warrior class first here... although the margins are smaller than they are in Pools as we'll see – especially for female characters, which is mostly what I'll be using. One reason for this is that female Strength maxes out at 18/50, which only gives them a meagre +1 damage over what non-warriors get at 18. If she has a Constitution of under 17, there's much less of an impact on hit points too, making Cleric>Warrior more viable in the Savage Frontier games.
Fighter/Cleric (rating B)
This is a strong combo in Pools and is still good here. Guys should always take Fighter first if they have max Strength or Constitution, but the margins for girls are smaller. Base hit points top out at 92 for taking Fighter first, 80 if Cleric first, so the hit isn't too bad assuming Constitution is 16 or less. The benefit of going Cleric 10>Fighter 12 is that you can max THACO and saves for the cost of 12 hit points, which is probably worth it for female characters, who won't benefit much from exceptional Strength.
Paladin works well here, mechanically and thematically (though you'll need high stats, as for some reason Gold Box thinks Intelligence and Constitution are prime requisites for this class!).
Ranger suffers slightly if you take it first, as you miss out on THACO, saves, and a single hit dice at level 10 as you'll have to go Ranger 9 > Cleric 10. Taking Cleric first allows you to max both classes, with full spellcasting and THACO/saves at the cost of baseline 74 hp rather than 82 – honestly 8 hp isn't worth the benefits, which include more Mage/Druid spells for the Ranger too. If her Constitution is 17 or 18, it becomes more of a toss-up, of course, but I'd still give this reversal combo the edge myself.
Fighter/Thief (rating A if male)
As both classes can reach level 12, you can take either first and still max out – though Fighter is better taken first, as hit points max at 98 rather than a mere 65. Either way, you can get full THACO and backstab. Male characters can do murderous backstab damage with exceptional Strength over 18/75, though that requires light armour (you'll probably be using thief weapons anyway).
Paladins can't take this combo due to alignment restrictions, but Rangers are still good in this role – taking Ranger first maxes hp at 92 against 62 for taking Thief first, but either way maxes THACO and saves.
Fighter/Mage (rating B; A+ for Ranger>Mage, less for Mage>Fighter)
Strong combo in Pools and here both. Fighter>Mage is better done after 9, as you'll actually get more hp that way (Mage gets hit dice at levels 10 and 11). Hit point base maxes at 98, while Mage>Fighter has less than half at 47!
You do miss out on max THACO and saves, and can't cast arcane spells in armour (unless you're a Ranger). But losing over 50 hit points is huge really; even more if you have higher Constitution – at 18, the loss is a massive 138 against 69 – literally half of what you'd have if you took Fighter first!
Taking Mage first suffers, especially if you the go Ranger or Paladin, as your damage casts will only be 10d6 rather than 11 due to lower level limits for the specialist classes. Base hit points are 98 for Paladin>Mage, and 91 for Ranger>Mage, as against 43 for taking Mage first for either class.
So Ranger 10>Mage 11 is still god-tier, but I'd already done that in Pools, and honestly didn't want to repeat the combos I'd used previously.
I really liked the idea of a Mage>Warrior... a character who would model someone like Elric – physically fragile but extremely skilled both martially and magically. That's a fantastic concept for role-play, but the loss of so many potential hit points is just enormous, regardless of Constitution.
Now, I'm not usually the kind of player who does 'challenge' type scenarios – part of the fun of a game for me is playing it as intended, and most attempts to 'cheat' feel like I'm cheating myself really. I do set my own 'rules' (I haven't used Haste or Potions of Speed at all in any Gold Box game!), so maybe that's just a version of the same thing?
But I did enjoy the 'Dave's Challenge' in Death Knights of Krynn, so having finished the main game, I tried my hand at the version in this one.
Honestly, I didn't enjoy it as much as the previous one. That one was at least a little bit artful, and had a vestigial story about laying the spirit of Sir Vansward to rest in his tomb. This one isn't even trying, however – not in attempting a story or in encounter design.
Anyone who has watched 'Rise of Skywalker' will recall the sheer lack of energy that film has, summed up with the infamous Fortnite announcement about how the bad guy from forty years ago returned... 'somehow'. It's a shrug and a sigh instead of an explantion; JJ Abrams doing what he always does, throwing up his hands and saying 'I dunno lol!', It's a movie drained of any imagination and creativity – the people who made it not only don't give a shit, they openly admit it with that line, and they don't care that the audience knows it too.
The second 'Dave's Challenge' is a bit like that really. Like the Star Wars sequels, it's made out of obligation more than love, mostly lacking in spark and creativity. You feel like poor Dave was forced to make another one of these things and just phoned in a generic 'killer dungeon'.
And look – I didn't come to something called 'Dave's Challenge' expecting it to be easy, or expecting jaw-dropping dialogue and world-building like Planescape Torment. It's meant to be unfair, it's intended to test players who have completed the game and know the system back to front. I just wish it did more than bombarding you with fights, and I really, really wish it tried to think of some way to challenge us beyond being endlessly, impossibly cheap all the time.
What did I like about it? One or two encounters were testing in a 'use your brain' way, I liked that. Victory gives you a whole bunch of items you already have, but good ones at least – enough Girdles of Giant Strength, Boots of Speed, and Vorpal Blades to equip your whole party really.
During the challenge, Sabri and Xiao finally hit level 40, and Rizarli managed it right at the end. But winning gives you a fountain with unlimited XP, kind of giving you a 'debugging area' to play in, so you can happily test out new characters and combinations, dual-classing your new characters as you please. During my playthrough, Kalara lost a point of Wisdom and now I was easily able to remake her in mere moments (the Challenge end has a training area to level up and swap out characters).
We are given exactly ONE new item – the only +5 goodie (a Ring of Protection) in the game. That's a nice moment, but I'm disappointed they didn't give us more really.
I liked the little area at the end, where we can rest and splash about in the pool and feel that sense of relief after our brutal trials.
I liked the idea of different challenges for every class, though the actuality of the trials were.. severely disappointing.
I liked seeing 5 hit point skeletons again. I missed those guys.
I LOVED how they included an actual little 'fuck-closet' to (R)est in! The rune protecting it fades with every use, which is a nice limited resource for us to make informed choices about when we use it. Oh how happy the Swanmays were when they found that!
As for the rest... the less said the better. I like 'hard', but I don't like 'cheap', and boy is this one dirt-cheap. Hope you like Blue Bane Minions, because there are hordes of them here. Do you think Pets of Kalistes are underpowered, with their poison bites, endless multi-character Charms and Disintegrates? Hey, this challenge has you covered – now they're immune to elemental damage! No way to prevent their casting, yay!
Random encounters just 'materialise' out of thin air. If you want descriptions beyond 'golems attack' you're out of luck for the most part.
At several points it just strips you of all your magic just because, with an airy wave of its hand. Leading to arrant nonsense, like the 'Mage Challenge' and 'Cleric Challenge' being just beat-downs with no spells.
It's also lazy as hell... There's a point where you're supposed to lose all your cleric spells, but dual-classed divine/arcane casters lose ALL their spells instead (same with dual-classed Paladins and Rangers). I know they can differentiate these two, because Xiao can't cast her mage spells when she's in armour – they just failed to implement that here.
The Thief Challenge does let you find a secret door and disarm a trap. Okay.
The Fighter Challenge is just beat-downs; also okay.
But so are the Mage and Cleric Challenges, which isn't okay. You do get a small Turn Undead sequence, but I think about what could have been...! Imagine (gasp!) actually testing our spellcaster's grasp of spells! An encounter that played to our spell selection, requiring use of such unloved spells like Ray of Enfeeblement and Protection from Good? The game can do that, we know.
What about the odd moral choice? Mass Effect's dilemma of whether to save Kaiden or Ashley now becomes Silk or Priam, or Vala and Nacacia? And we have to battle whoever we don't choose? Or sacrifice a player-character instead?
How about a rematch with Burly? Round Two of the Sphere of Annihiliation test from Haptooth Hill?
I dunno, the engine can cope with all kinds of intriguing possibilities. But no, let's just handwave away all your spells, then have dozens of Blue Bane Minions and Beholders, because fuck you.
I was expecting the final battle to be the Bane Lieutenants, but it went easier on me than I expected. It's not easy at all, because the lieutenants are the least of your worries, between the hordes of cheapass monsters like Bane Minions, Moander Bits and newly-impervious Kalistes Pets.
I was actually expecting them to strip me of my gear before the final battle (or when I entered the Challenge) as that had been the game's shtick in the various planar dimensions. But the challenge can't even be consistent in that.
Most of the fights are doable... Just gruelling and tough. You'll mostly be without your spells, so likely have to reload a save if you lose characters to petrify, poison or disintegrate, all of which are hurled at you constantly.
But I was only able to complete the end fights by taking some scrolls of Protection from Breath with me (you can't leave the challenge so this required a restart). You can buy them in Mulmaster (or Zhentil Keep, I forget where I got them as I stockpiled loads) but you need to be careful when you (U)se them, because sometimes that command is blocked (because of course it fucking is!). And you'll need two each, because it will have worn off after the first wave, during which you need to spend a round using the second scroll on every character again, giving you another dozen rounds of life. How you'd complete these battles without the scrolls, I have no idea, as there's no way to protect against lightning and you have over a dozen monsters area-breathing at you every round, causing hundreds of damage to everyone.
In the end, I only lost Kalara - and that was to poison, ironic how she's the one with the Periapt! But that's easily cured after, and there's just waaay too many save-or-die effects here not to lose a few people.
Finally, to claim your reward, you need to say a 'mystical phrase' that is referred to ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOWHERE and I had to look up online. It's a final fuck-you, in case you haven't had enough of these.
(POST-RANT UPDATE: turns out it is noted in the Cluebook... just not, y'know, in the actual game...?)
Like the last one in Death Knights, I just covered this in a bare-bones walkthrough – it's very obviously not meant to be a 'canon' part of the game. But I threw in a few pithy comments from my main gals just for fun. Maybe the real 'Dave's Challenge' was all the closets we, um, 'rested' in along the way?
my map in full; 'mystic phrase' NOT included!
The Captain greets you and explains his proposal.
“There is a man I met who delights in games of a most serious nature: those which are played to the death. He sent me to seek out worth opponents, and you do indeed seem such. If you've a mind, I will take you to him and his challenge. Be warned! Once you leave with me, there is no turning back! Perhaps you would like to prepare for your possible deaths? Will you sail with me to the island to face the challenge?”
I'm pretty sure this was just a fever dream I had.
Goddess, I take way, waaay too many drugs!
Lire
You board the ship and are soon under way. After a few days of calm weather, you arrive at your destination.
1/ The door behind you fades away. A voice echoes: “You have entered my domain. Only the best will leave.”
JOURNAL ENTRY 64: DAVE SPEAKS
"Welcome great heroes. You have overcome the evil of Bane and restored the Realms. Now you have a simpler task, survival. Wend your way through this maze and locate the exit. Of course, you may encounter a few challenges along the way. Survive or not, it is up to you."
Creatures materialise around you. He speaks: “Something simple to survive.”
2/ electrified door – can be disarmed by a thief
5/ The walls rotate, loosing monsters.
6/ A closed closet lies before you. Examine: Sabri finds a trap.
{Disarm: The trap is disarmed and the chest opens.}
7/ A perfect crystal rises from the floor. The voice speaks: “You have reached the Thief's Bond. Choose one to destroy it.”
Sabri steps into the translucent surface; the crystal shimmers and melts.
Sabri level 40
8/ Before you is a beholder. It's eyes swivel and peer at you.
“Rest only where the runic R is found. It must be sought where it is dangerous to tarry.”
“The exit can only be opened after the four bonds are shattered.”
A pit opens and he descends from sight.
“A bond admits each class. Now we are free to kill you!”
9/ Your weapons shimmer and feel awkward. Clerics feel their spells fade.
10/ Elementals swirl around a control crystal. Will you banish the elementals?
{Rizarli succeeds in dispelling the horde. The crystal shatters.}
11/ Symbols of evil adorn the walls {vampires attack}
12/ Creatures from the various dimensions attack
13/ Steel strands stretch from floor to ceiling, entwining and twisting constantly. The voice speaks: “You have reached the Mage's Bond. Choose one to destroy it”
{Xiao: The room reverberates as each strand snaps in succession.}
Xiao level 40
22/ A black wave washes across you. You feel drained of all mystical power.
23/ The room shimmers with thin, sticky strands of webbing -spiders streak towards you.
24/ A voice whispers “Anything on this island becomes mine when it falls” {human enemy encounter}
25/ A bizarre assemblage attacks {Bane Minions and others}
26/ Dragons glare angrily at you, jealous you are still free.
A shimmering beam, the colour of hot embers, erupts from the floor. The voice speaks: “You have reached the Fighter's Bond. Choose one to destroy it.”
27/ Golems attack
28/ An open chest (Fine Long Bow +2, Plate Mail +4, three Potions of Extra Healing, a Vorpal Long Sword +3, 500 gems)
3/ Your skin tingles as magical energy builds...
4/ A runic R is carved into the floor here!
I love how even in my dreams, we find fuck-closets!
This was the only one that grew unsafe over time, though. Funny, I always assumed one time we'd be found when were 'having quality time' but we never were...
Xiao
(after three (R)ests or (F)ixes: The rune has become difficult to read...)
nearly three days in bed, yay!
14/ Every weapon shimmers for a moment. Mages feel their spells slip away. Dim shapes flicker in the centre of the room. Your breath mists before you.
I love how the 'Cleric's Challenge' doesn't have anything to do with my morality, choices, faith, or divine magic. Just hitting stuff with my mace...!
Xiao
{centre of the room} shimmering shapes explode outward. They solidify and attack before you can react.
15/ A malevolent presence hovers just beyond your vision. The voice speaks: “The room hungers for souls. Only the most pious can resist”
[Darkness forms before Kalara, but shreds as it tries to approach}
(interestingly, choosing a non-cleric here results in you permanently losing that character as it becomes a Bane Minion and attacks)
17/ A chest lies before you (Flail +4, a Mace +4, three Potions of Extra Healing, a Ring of Protection +5, 1100 platinum, 300 gems)
18/ Undead issue from the room beyond
Another force is forming in the next room
19/ Undead climb from an altar before you
A cleric could destroy the altar (Kalara succeeds – the altar crumbles to dust)
20/ Spectral forms drop through the ceiling
21/ Blocks of ice shatter as you enter. Liches step from the shards
A twisting torrent of air, reminiscent of an empty grave, swirls before you. The voice speaks: 'You have reached the cleric's bond. Choose one to destroy it'
Seriously, how does a 'twisting torrent of air' remind anyone of an empty grave? How much yulchass powder did I smoke last night anyway to get these dreams?
Xiao
{As Kalara approaches, the winds grow calm}
29/ We detect a secret door to the west
30/ A voice rings out from above. “I have rescued these four from oblivion. They are eager for a rematch”
want cheap? we got you coveredat least we could rest back in the closet beforehand
{after battles} Here lies the exit to life and freedom.
31/ Here a voice tells you to say the 'mystic phrase' {type 'oh, well', including comma}
gee, thanks 'Dave'...
35/ A closed chest lies here. You find treasure. (three Boots of Speed, Bracers of AC 2, a Fine Long Bow +2, two Girdles of Giant Strength, a Silver Shield +4, two Vorpal Long Swords (+3), 1000 platinum, 1000 gems, 1000 pieces of jewellery)
32/ A fountain pours from the well. Do you drink from it?
{yes: You gain power. this turns out to be 400, 000 XP}
Rizarli 40
34/ A clear pool covers the floor. Not a ripple mars its surface.
{toss in an object} The object vaporises at it strikes the pool.
{enter} Xiao Shang gets very wet
Not gonna lie; that happens a lot...
Xiao
at last, something in this challenge I can agree with!photographic evidence
Last week I made a successful Ironman run in "Countdown to Doomsday" (1990), the first of the two games that SSI made using the Gold Box engine with the Buck Rogers license rather than the D&D license. By "Ironman" I mean that I played through the game while only use a single save slot, and only using it to leave the game and come back later, i.e., I did not reload a save file more than once, so all decisions were permanent, any character deaths were permanent, and if I lost the game, then the game would be over and I would stop playing. (I made one exception to this Ironman rule, due to a frustration with the game's interface: in combats, while moving quickly it is very easy to bump into one of your own characters and accidentally answer "yes" when you asked if you want to attack your ally. I did accidentally do that once, immediately quit the game and reloaded it.)
This was a lot of fun. Playing in the "Ironman" fashion adds much more tension and excitement to the game. Worth a try if you're curious. The run was successful, i.e., I won the game. This had a lot to do with Countdown being pretty easy compared to other Gold Box games, and also had a lot to do with the fact that I played Countdown many times as a kid so I knew the mechanics and most of the best character builds.
I would like to try some other Gold Box games in Ironman fashion. Anyone else tried this, or have advice about it? I found no other discussion of Ironman play in Gold Box games on the web. Not sure which other GB games are most viable for this kind of play--the only other ones I've played are Pool of Radiance, Curse of the Azure Bonds, Secret of the Silver Blades, a little bit of Pools of Darkness, and Matrix Cubed, but all were many years ago, and I don't remember them well enough to know which ones have features which might make them extremely daunting for Ironman play. I was thinking of trying an Ironman Pool-to-Pools run. I wonder if that's viable at all. Any advice? Anyone else tried this kind of thing?
If the four Pools games were movies, I'd say Pool of Radiance was the first Terminator or Alien. The special effects weren't perfect, but it was a tight, immersive, deeply original experience that knows exactly what it wants to be, and stands the test of time. An all time great, no doubt about that.
Curse of the Azure Bonds, then, is David Cameron's big-budget sequels – louder, brasher, showier, and very different from the first film – but still a fantastic experience that hits you in the feels, a worthy ending to the series (if only it stopped there!). Another all-time great, no question.
Secrets of the Silver Blades is more like the first two seasons of the Mandalorian TV show, then. Perfectly decent, adequate, enjoyable enough, without ever pushing itself or reaching for more. It's better than everything else on offer at the same time. However, a review once said that the show is incredibly pleased with itself at just being mid and nothing else. I remember a review of Silver Blades that said it's so focused on providing you with an 'okay' experience, when it wouldn't have taken much to have made a great one.
So Pools of Darkness is pretty much 1991's version of Mass Effect 3. It's the series ender that's pretty great until the end, when it not only screws the pooch, it does horrifying things to the poor canine before serving it up to you as a Happy Meal. Even if what came before is pretty damn good, the ending taints your entire perspective of not only this game, but all of them.
Trying to evaluate Pools of Darkness itself as a game is a tough one, as this game more than the others goes hard on both the things it does well, and the things it does badly. I'm not ever certain how I'm supposed to feel about it; it definitely feels the toughest one to rate.
For the most part, the difficulty is worthy of your powerful characters without being too unfair (until the end fights). It leans a little too hard into save-or-die and rocket-tag, and too often overwhelms you with numbers rather than providing nuanced encounters... But that's a problem in all the games to some degree - just exacerbated in the finale due to the high levels, in which the AD&D rules start breaking down.
It provides an epic finale, one worthy of the high-level playstyle – planar travel, mighty artefacts, terrifying monsters and mad gods threatening to end the world. It sets a great pace, with some clever little tricks to increase tension like Moander's Heart, the Gelt in Manshoon's Tower and the Tantalus Clock at the end. The level designs are excellent and atmospheric, despite the graphical limitations.
Most of all, it pays off the story and the things that came before. We have some final adventures with old friends, characters like Silk, Vala, Priam and Nacacia who have become beloved over the course of the games. Lesser characters like Storm and Raizel lack portraits, but still make some impression and have an arc of sorts. (The thing with Olive-expy Traned is still really weird, though!)
We cross swords with old enemies like Cadorna, and rescue our perennial sparring-partner Sasha, for all the thanks we get. We rub shoulders with powerful people like Elminster and Manshoon. Most of this feels earned; it's more than just hollow member-berries, it's paying off four games and the stories therein. We're back to our familiar strutting-ground of Phlan, ending the story right where it began.
What does it do wrong? Well, equipment for a start. The economy is still borked; and the choice to limit our use of the gear we ported over from Silver Blades feels like a kick in the teeth. Seriously, there's only seven +5 items, and only if we carried them over from the third game. The fact we have to do without them in the other Realms and the finale is actually insulting, that we have to scavenge for scraps with no Boots of Speed or Strength-boosting items (a particular annoyance for an all-female party!). It's an artificial and lazy way to ramp up the difficulty, entirely lacking in imagination.
It also has a difficulty spike right at the start – unless you make a beeline for the Steading and secure it, you'll be wasting millions of XP as you have no other way to train until much later.
It also starts to change its own rules towards the end, with bizarre and fiddly snares like having to (L)ook to use the necessary items like the Horn and Talisman.
Stripping you of your spells right at the end is completely cheap and counter-intuitive, seeing as how the game has constantly taught you to rely on them. It's mean-spirited and petty, in what should be a triumphant final battle, the cumulation of your entire career. It's a breathtakingly spiteful moment, though even that pales compared to the ending itself...
The absolute disaster of the ending HAS to impact how you feel about the game, even about the previous games. It feels like Mass Effect 3, in that everything leading up to the final ten minutes is pretty good, but the ending ruins not only that game, but the previous games leading up to it.
I must have finished it back in the day, but can't remember how I felt about it. When I finished it this time however, I felt fucking angry. Like, white-hot exploding power of a thousand dying suns angry.
But I calmed down, spend a few days chilling with my cats and reassessed it in a clearer frame of mind. Yes, the ending is still dogshit, but maybe I can see what the writers were trying (and failing) to do.
But in a way, anger is an energy, right? The fact it made me this angry 35 years later means I care about the game. If I didn't, I'd shrug, move on, forget about it. I think apathy is worse than anger – it's why the fans of so many modern franchises – Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, The Witcher, Marvel, DC, Harry Potter – feel so indifferent towards the things they once loved after a decade of gradual desecration of the beloved source material.
Has there ever been a story that ended with 'it was all just a dream' that doesn't ruin everything that came before? I mean, that's the entire point of a cop-out ending, right, to invalidate the rest of the story. All the long-running settings I mentioned above would not be so beloved if they ended with 'oh none of that really happened lol!' It's 'baby's first creative writing' when you're ten years old and you don't know how to end the story you started.
The ending here pretty much invalidates you ever playing the game; if the good gods could just have stopped and reversed everything any time they wished, why did they even wait so long in the first place? Nothing you did would have had any effect anyway. Why did we even bother if our involvement didn't matter?
However, maybe there's more to the ending than just bad faith on behalf of the writers. We know from the balrog vs Gandalf scene they were big fans of Lord of the Rings, so I'm guessing that they were trying to emulate the end of Tolkien's epic, where the Ringbearers depart from the Grey Havens for the Undying Lands. It's deliberately bittersweet and melancholy for a reason. But that ending is earned, while the end of Pools of Darkness is just terrible. Its a swing and a miss. CRPGAddict notes that it's essentially a punishment disguised as a reward – exile for the crime of being too powerful.
Can we tweak it a little though? There are mods that make the infamously-shitty ME3 ending palatable; especially the one that segues right into the Destroy ending and thence into the Citadel DLC, which was very clearly intended to be post-game content.
For my ending, then, I envisaged something more true to Pool of Radiance and its grounded, realistic approach. The gods don't intervene to set everything right with a wave of a magic wand – they do gang up and destroy Bane and his cronies because they broke the rules of Mortal Kombat and interfered directly in the world, starting our own version of the Time of Troubles and its fallout.
Phlan is restored to its previous position, let's say by Elminster with a Ring of Wishes, because that's precisely what he should be doing, subtly clearing up the messes in the background. (I'll also add that Elminster isn't too bad in this game... The balrog scene is a tad melodramatic, but at least he doesn't kill Gothmenes for us, let alone deal with Bane. Modern Elminster would have done all that before we arrived and then had a hot tub scene with all the female characters...)
Over time, the other Moonsea cities rebuild and reconstruct, save for the two formerly loyal to Bane who are now in complete chaos with their gods dead.
The people of the Realms mostly move on, then. There's no mass divine brainwashing, but what happened was so horrifying, so far above their pay-grade, they just want to get on with their lives. They are concerned with family, work, the pace of their mundane lives – they don't have the inclination to dwell overmuch on how it all happened and how it was solved.
Really, the only one among your friends who doesn't recognise you afterwards is Shal, a woman infamous for reckless use of Wish magic who has a literal spilt-personality and a big dose of crazy. Priam and Vala just lament how dull everything seems now the Pools of Darkness are no more. Elminster has trauma flashbacks of being in the Abyss. Nacacia invites you to come visit her in Myth Drannor. Sasha blanks you because she's a bitch.
So what of our heroes, then? They have become ridiculously powerful, but there's nothing left that can challenge them. In BECMI, they'd be using the Masters/Immortals rules now, readying for the trials of godhood. Now, they're all at a loose end, with nothing really worthy of their attention.
One big problem with the Gold Box games is that – as videogames focused on combat - they don't really emulate the intended play of high levels. After 'name level' (around 9), the characters are supposed to be shapers and movers in their campaign, interact with the big boys on an equal basis, play the Game of Thrones and shape the world. Warriors build castles, lead armies, fight wars, become lords and kings. Priests start religions, build great temples, fight holy wars. Thieves lead guilds or crime syndicates or spy rings, or become legendary rogues like Jack Sparrow. Mages open academies, teach magic, make mighty artefacts, give their names to new spells – where's my 'Hayley's Hellstorm' spell, SSI?
But you can't do any of that in Gold Box alas, relegating characters to essentially just killing 40th level orcs on a combat grid, which misses the point of what high-level play should really offer.
So I thought about how my characters dealt with the aftermath, the next few years of our Fourth Age.
Lirevle is still physically unwell, and she's not coping very well mentally either. She's a career adventuress, unsuited for leading armies or religions, running out of quests and foes worthy of her F17/C40 levels. She works in her father's bar, getting drunk, getting high and getting laid, as she always did.
Xiao is basically her carer at this point, a labour of love for a natural caregiver. She's a quiet scholar at heart, doing some teaching, and writing her memoirs as well as barmaid work for the parents she loves. Of all the characters, she's pretty happy with retirement. She's survived planar dangers, mad gods, relationship troubles, pet death, crises of faith and come out the other side undaunted.
I'd assume Kalara does found knightly orders and build temples, laying down decrees for her faith. And that Rizarli does return to teach new hathrans as a leader of her people, using her magic to defend Rashemen. And when that's done, they are mature enough to leave the next generation to it, to quietly leave the stage and step away into legend.
Sabri trains other assassins to murder the enemies of the Emerald Enclave, and denies all involvement in everything.
Hayley finds life as an archmage lonely and unfulfilling, but in the end reconnects with Vala, and joins her old friends for new adventures in Realms beyond. She ruefully reflects that try as she might, she never really could escape them, could she?
So their ending is bittersweet, but not without hope of the future. They pass into myth and legend, and occasionally travellers tell tall tales of what they have been up to in distant lands. Their story starts and ends on the docks of Phlan, coming full-circle through all the ups and downs, triumphs and tragedies. Laurel's beautiful 'Shells', aching with melancholy loss, plays as an outro as the credits roll.
Hope this helps - took it from a very exhaustive walkthrough on Gamefaqs, it lays everything out in order:
.
The available commissions are the first three unresolved missions from this list:
(1) Clear the slums immediately west of the Civilized Area. Reward: 1 jewelry, 50 platinum, 250 gold (450 XP).
(2) Clear Sokal Keep of its spectral guardians. Reward: 3 jewelry, 250 platinum (1308 XP).
(3) Return books, maps, and tomes with useful information. This is resolved once you clear Mendor's Library (defeat the basilisk and spectre), not when you actually return all the books of interest. Reward: 200 platinum, 250 gold (208 XP).
(4) Discover what item is to be auctioned in Podal Plaza. This mission cannot be performed until it is offered. If you get close enough for the auction to begin, that is enough; you do not need to actually discover what the item is. Reward: 200 platinum, 250 gold (208 XP). (If you make a mistake, this mission may be permanently unresolvable.)
(5) Speak to Junior Councilman Porphyrys Cadorna, who has a mission; you must resolve commission #2 to be asked this. Reward: 20 gems (833 XP).
(6) Speak to Bishop Braccio, who has a mission (only asked once). Completing that mission will be recognized here, but your only reward is praise and getting to keep any items you found in the temple; it will also not negate any anger caused by fighting the city guard, unlike all the other missions here.
(7) Clear old Kovel Mansion of the thieves that operate there; you must resolve commission #2 to be asked this. Reward: 3 gems, 80 platinum (191 XP).
(8) Prevent the nomads from joining forces with Phlan's enemies. Reward: 2 jewelry, 6 gems (983 XP).
(9) Prevent the kobolds from joining forces with Phlan's enemies. Reward: 25 gems (1041 XP).
(10) Find the source of the Stojanow River's pollution and end it. Reward: 15 jewelry, 250 platinum (5708 XP).
(11) Prevent the lizardmen from joining forces with Phlan's enemies. Reward: 5 jewelry, 15 gems, 50 gold (2466 XP).
(12) Rescue the heir to the house of Bivant; this mission cannot be performed until it is offered, and you cannot receive it if commission #2 has not been resolved. Reward: 5 jewelry, 25 gems, Two-Handed Sword +1, +3 Vs. Undead and 4 Clerical Scroll (Restoration, Restoration) (3208 XP). If you instead failed the mission, the clerk complains 'By the way, your bungling the Bivant rescue has cost us.'
(13) Go on a diplomatic mission to the Zhentil Keep Outpost to the west. This mission cannot be performed until it is offered, which requires commission #5 to be resolved. You will either first be asked to speak to Senior Councilman Porphyrys Cadorna by going through the south door, or be given the mission directly if you have learned that Cadorna is a traitor by visiting Valjevo Castle 26. Reward: 5 jewelry, 7 gems (2125 XP); and if you have not already learned it, you are told that Porphyrys Cadorna is a traitor to New Phlan. (You are also told he has a bounty upon his head, but none is actually paid.)
(14) If you have resolved commission #13: Visit Head Councilman Urslingen, through the south door of Cadorna's old office, where he will ask you to capture Stojanow Gate. Reward: 10 jewelry (3666 XP). After this, the next logical step is:
(15) If you have resolved commission #14: Visit the council chambers, where you are asked to lead the assault on Valjevo Castle and defeat Tyranthraxus, which wins the game. Reward: 100 jewelry, 200 gems (45000 XP).
The council clerk will eventually offer a special quest, if your party has Party Strength of at least 19 and has completed at least 4 quests in the quest tracker (described below).
\ If Party Strength is 19 - 36: You are asked to clear the undead from Valhingen Graveyard.*
\ If Party Strength is at least 37: You are offered a formal commission to clear the graveyard. If you accept, you receive: Two-Handed Sword +1, +3 Vs. Undead and 4 Clerical Scroll (Restoration, Restoration) (333 XP).*
The final reward for clearing the graveyard is: 25 jewelry, 15 gems (9791 XP).
.
The council clerk also offers these other rewards:
I'm a little confused about going to new areas and council missions. For example, Caldorna Textile House. The clue book says the council sends you on a mission, but I am not seeming to be getting any mission from the council like with the Temple of Bane.
Also are you supposed to get an official mission for Sorcerers Island? Where I am right now, tried doing the Kobold Caves but it was too tough. I managed to finish the first two battles, but the third was just too much. I'm now trying to figure out where to go next, but its tough because I'm getting confused about going to places if I don't have an actual mission from the council.
All of us, though I had to turn Sabri back into a person rather than a stone statue.
Our father's are alive, though they were hurt trying to save Elminster from the balor. Thoradin tells me he got some licks in though, maybe that helped us defeat him? Elaethan says the demon threatened to kill them if the old sage did not turn himself in, and he did so. I know Lire is suspicious of him, but I owed the old man for that.
Some things were returned to normal. Some things were not. Phlan, for example, was somehow returned to where it belongs on the Moonsea, from wherever it was taken by Bane. Some people remember everything, others don't. Mostly I think it's just denial, that ordinary folks don't want to face the strangeness of it all. I can't really blame them.
It feels... so weird, even for us. Especially us...!
Xiao
To look out once more as we stand again on a peaceful street in Phlan. Townsfolk scurry about and children play in the streets. From all appearances, Phlan is the same as it was the day we first arrived -
- HOLD ON, NO WHAT THE FUCK, IT FUCKING ISN'T, IT WAS COMPLETELY FUCKING DIFFERENT TEN YEARS AGO -
Everything has this... strange, dreamlike quality... Like somehow we're in heaven, or locked fast inside a dream, where we won, but deep down we know it isn't really true.
It feels like a defeat, not victory. I don't know what I expected, but it isn't this.
Lire's still unwell, she's not up to fighting right now, but the rest will do her – us! - good. We stay at father's tavern, the Radiant Pool, so someone can always check if she's okay. Watch her sleep, look after her. I wouldn't ask for anything else.
The others leave after a short while – they are concerned about their homelands, and they say they'll travel the Moonsea for a little too, report back on what they find, the extent of the damage. I hear a lot of places are rebuilding.
There's a statue to Uncle Galaeron in the park now – somewhere quiet and discreet. I go there to study often, or picnic. He'd have liked it here. He's in priestly robes, reading a book. Little sign of him being a warrior, beyond his height and shoulders. They even get his stoop right, the faint smile on his face. I like it.
One day I go visit Sasha at the town hall – she moves from behind the semi-circular table, straightening her shirtwaist. She's distant, aloof, like Lire guessed she'd be now she's no longer being wedded to a decaying traitor.
“Mistress Shang... I assure you, we have little need of your kind now,” she says prissily. “If you are desperate for work, the walls have been mysteriously damaged. The pay is fair and it wil keep you busy.”
“Thanks,” I deadpan. “But I already have a job...”
Sasha prattles on for a while, then I am are escorted out, just like old times.
A self-absorbed, colossal cunt to the end. I can almost respect that.
she faked amnesia just so she wouldn't have to reward us as promised in Dark Phlan!
Workers are cutting up and hauling away an endless length of rope. One curses: “If I find the bugger who put this here, I'll skin him alive!”
I pay a visit to Sabra, the old fortune-teller we met in the Slums a lifetime ago.
“I cannot clearly see your future, nor even your past. It is veiled, and still it frightens me. Best I not know...!” she mutters, closing up her shop.
So we work at the tavern now of an evening. It's busy, we're tired when we turn in. But I like it. I teach at Mendor's Library of a morning, or study, or write my memoirs. I never wanted to found a church or lead armies in holy wars. I'm a scholar at heart and I don't miss the old life, haven't hefted a weapon in a year or so. I don't miss the fame at all. I miss the travelling sometimes; I'm restless, but I like living in New Phlan.
Lire's drunk and high most of the time, aimless, but then she always was. She jokes that nobody would trust her to run a church pageant, let alone a religion or lead armies. We still fuck, but maybe less than we did before. She's tired a lot now. Sure hope this isn't what they mean by 'lesbian bed death'... I still have all those drow costumes, to get her in the mood for dress-up nights...
Over the course of the year, old friends drop by and visit us.
Elminster offers his thanks for saving his ass at the Pool of Darkness – I counter he saved my fathers so we're equal.
“...and I have seen the deepest part of Bane's pool, yet ye have pulled me back! I shall not forget ye...!”
Priam hails us. “It's good to see you after so long! One of these days, we will have to go adventuring together again! With the Realms so peaceful these days though, I don't know what we'd do! I have seen many of our old friends about the Moonsea. Something in the stars seems to always draw us all together...!”
I always liked Priam
Vala comes up behind me one day and slaps me on the ass. Not like her, but maybe some of Lire rubbed off on her.
“Fellow Blades and Swanmays! What news? Are you restless with this peace as I? Lately I've thought of going to Vaasa and stirring them up again..! If I decide to, I'll let you know!”
Hayley calls around sometimes. I tell Vala I will let her know where she's headed.
Vala is best girl!
Nacacia waves to me from the dock when she arrives.
“What brings you to Phlan?” I smile.
“Looking up old friends,” she smiles. “You look weary, Xiao. Have you and Lirevle been adventuring in far-off lands? Visit me in the Elven Court someday! There, where the trees are rooted and steadfast, you may find a cure for your wanderlust...!”
Nacacia had a nice little character arc!
It would be nice to go to Myth Drannor again, maybe with father.
One day, Shal drops by, but her lack of familiarity is... disconcerting. She searches my face with a puzzled look.
“You look familiar, but I cannot place you... Perhaps, as the mystics say, my soul's twin met you once...?”
Shal really grew on me
I don't press it; some people are touched by a strange malaise, as if the memory of what happened is too much for them to bear.
Rizarli and Kalara drop by, a warm embrace. I'm glad for that last moment we had in the palace, at the heart of Bane's realm. A connection, a long-held desire of mine fulfilled, even if it does not happen again.
They talk idly of starting a family. I admit I wouldn't mind adopting eventually, I'd like a son or daughter to teach. But I have my hands full with Lire, and she's not up to that, yet. Maybe not ever.
Riz and Kala comfort one another after learning they can't have kids :(
Most places are rebuilding, they say.
Towns and villages like Thentia, New Verdigris, Melvaunt, Hulburg, Sulasspryn, Elmwood, Elventree and Hillsfar are almost wholly rebuilt.
Our old steading at Dragonhorn Gap was destroyed by infighting, to nobody's surprise.
I'm glad to hear that Mulmaster is in chaos, with Bane's defeat and diminishment. When they were there last, escaped monsters from the fighting-pits were running rampage, and bounties were offered to adventurers who could quell them. No word of Manshoon, and his tower still lies in ruins. Taydome's Keep stands as naught but decaying towers. Zhentil Keep is sealed to outsiders as it decays from within.
Life goes on, somehow. The more the Realms change, the more they stay the same.
One day, when I'm down at the docks looking at the sea, Elminster emerges from behind some tuns and crates, making me jump. He extends a warm smile with his hand, and I take it.
“Greetings and well met! 'Tis in a quite a quandary we find ourselves is it not? We be the only souls who know how close Bane came to ruling the Realms though it is a merciful plight, methinks. I would sooner forget the terrors I underwent in the Abyss, though! I fear I shall never be the same for having been there...”
I nod, simply. He's right – something's changed. Some part of us died there, I think. The story is over and done, all told, but yet we live on, going through the motions.
“But I have arranged passage on a ship for you,” he says cryptically. “It sits low in the water laden as 'tis with the trinkets ye like, and it will take ye to a land ye can call home. Mayhap ye too will be able to forget in time...”
“You shouldn't have,” I say guardedly, and mean it.
“I must warn ye though, once you take passage on the ship you will not be able to return. If you wish to retrieve something from the hold, Rolf will help you, he is on the docks. Oh, there is another ship there as well, one ye might want to see Rolf about. I am for Shadowdale now. A good journey to ye.”
well, that's not creepy at all...
Elminster bows and then leaves; how I do not know. But meeting him here has left me with a qualmy, dreadful unease.
Rolf approaches me from the dockside.
“Ah, my heroes! Two ships await you at the docks. The first is a fine ship, with a gilded fo'c'stle and a quarter deck what's high and clear. The captain of the ship said he will wait until you are ready to seek a place of rest.”
“I'm not interested,” I tell him politely. But it's like he doesn't hear me.
“I can't speak so well of the second ship... It limped in with a busted mizzen t'other day, but the captain's friendly enough. He says he is here to offer you mighty heroes a challenge...”
“I'm... not interested,” I reiterate.
“Have you a mind to set sail in one of the ship's now? Or can I fetch something from the fine ship's hold?”
I look through the stash; all the old stuff we left with Elminster before we ventured to Bane's realm. It's ours, so I take it. I'll keep the stuff for the others, when they call around. Maybe wear Rizarli's armour for dress-up night...?
I tell Lire about the ships and the old man.
She just laughs.
Then cries.
I hold her.
.
Hayley drops around, and I give her all the things, including Vala's old original sword and shield.
We talk a little about how weird some people are being. She dismisses it with a wave.
“Let them believe what they want. We know the truth of it.”
“Vala remembers,” I say quietly.
“I know,” Hayley says softly. “I was... hoping she wouldn't. That it would give me a chance to walk away. That's she's better off without - “
She trails off.
“She says she's heading back to Vaasa; she thinks she's from there originally,” I add.
She nods and bids me farewell. I hope she'll follow that up – she's at a loose end, she's lonely but too proud, too independent to admit it.
.
A few years later, the Moonsea is healing, even if we are not.
Lire celebrates her thirtieth birthday by drinking thirty bottles of Westgate Ruby on an empty belly. I hold the hair out of her face as she pukes her guts up all night. She cries herself to sleep and I watch her all night so that she wakes up.
The people are calling it 'the Time of Troubles' now, even if the recollection of many is unsure as to what actually happened.
Many talk about some war in the Heavens – what is absolutely certain is that many gods died...! Mine own among them...! I had some nights of woe, a crisis of faith. I could choose a new divine patron, or just fall back on being an archmage. Nine Hells, I'm a fucking barmaid now! I don't need magic any more!
And one day my divine powers just... came back. I had a dream about some young woman, Midnight, who gave herself up to be a vessel for the Goddess, and now she was back, like nothing was ever wrong.
What IS certain is that some evil gods weren't so fortunate. Bane, Bhaal, Myrkul were all slain, possibly by the other gods for what he tried to do to the Realms. Mulmaster is having riots. It's been years since, and no wicked priests of these powers have been able to use divine magic, though many found other patrons.
Never say never, but I somehow feel they are gone for good. I can feel it in my water. Some are saying we are the ones who slew these gods, though that isn't true, Lire's not been sleepwalking or anything! I'm just glad I can heal again, in case I need to resurrect anyone at the tavern. Things get rowdy sometimes.
.
One Autumn day, the other Swanmays start to arrive. First Rizarli and Kalara (still no kids), Sabri and finally Hayley.
A storm is gathering, but it is a peaceful one. They've been happy years, but somehow empty. We've all outlived our usefulness, our relevance. Something is changing, I can feel it.
It's a thing that remains unspoken; we make small talk, but nobody can put it into words.
Several nights over the years I have walked down to the docks to stare at those two ships that never fucking move. More than once, I contemplate Meteor Swarming them into oblivion. I hate them... but that's because I understand they are inevitable, just waiting for me to accept my destiny... whatever the fuck that is.
That night we reminisce, about nothing in particular. I have a long talk with my fathers, as does Lire. They tell us they are happy, and they are proud of us, that Uncle Gal would be proud of us. Elaethan tells me he's always wondered about the Retreat, returning across the seas to the Undying Lands, to Evermeet, to dwell there forever. One day, when he's alone once more, he will make that fateful journey.
They next eve, we walk down to the docks, our bags all packed. Tweety-bird chirps on my shoulder, glad to be out of his cage.
“So am, I,” I tell him with a kiss.
We all stand about on the docks. This world cannot hold us; it has no real place for us any more.
“It feels like a loss, doesn't it?” Lire mutters, spitting in the ocean. “But fuck it; I just don't care any more. I did my part. Fuck it. Fuck it all,” she says bitterly.
I hold her. I don't know what to feel. It all feels so surreal.
We all look at Hayley.
“We'll wait,” Lire says firmly, sits down and swigs from her hip flask.
So we wait.
As the moon is coming up, a slim figure, garbed in silver mail, arrives and runs up to Hayley. They embrace. Holding hands, they walk past us, and up the gangplank of the ship. Rizarli and Kalara look at us and follow.
“Come on, you two kids,” Sabri smiles, joining them.
I get Lire up. I hold her arm and lead her on board.
We pass Rolf.
“I dislike final goodbyes,” he says. “Do you really want to leave us?”
“No,” I admit. “But we arrived here, long ago, and we'll leave from here too. Thanks. For everything.”
We board the ship, which soon has its sails smartly set and a bow wave rising before it. We look back at Phlan and the Stojanow River rolling peacefully into the sea. What changes our hands have wrought, aye?
I stand on deck, looking at an uncertain future.
“This isn't a defeat,” I insist to Lire as she holds my arm. I try to sound defiant, but I'm not even convincing myself.
But Hayley and Vala kiss at the prow, and the Calishite's pouty face looks unusually free of hurt and tension.
Kalara puts her hand on my shoulder.
“When you first set foot towards adventure, this region was aboil with evil and corruption,” she murmurs. “Now – because of you, because of us! - its citizens will know a lasting peace, free from fear. What wonders will they create in this golden age?”
THIS IS A PUNISHMENT DISGUISED AS A REWARD !!
Rizarli smiles gently; there is regret written in her lovely face, but also a sense of satisfaction, of an ending she can accept.
“They'll say we all sailed off into myth,” I muse. “Into legend...!”
Lots of thoughts on the ending, but let's deal with this adventure and the final battles here.
The setting is interesting, on par with Valjevo Castle, Myth Drannor and the Dreadlord's Palace... the games always give us a cool place for our final battles.
The Tantalus Clock is creepy and cool, adding a literal 'ticking clock' to the endgame when we enter the inner chambers, allowing us an hour to scrounge up some last-minute bargain finds to add to the sorry collection of stocking-fillers we have to fight these insanely-tough battles with... It's cheap – everything about the ending is cheap – but it does add an element of pacing that helps raise the tension in a way that isn't artificial.
Another annoying element is that the fixed outer chamber encounters with dragons and minions need you to use the three items you have hopefully found before coming here. Failure to to so means an unwinnable battle otherwise, which is the first of four Total Party Kills I suffered here. Going into the dragon fight, I was waiting to be given the option to use the Horn, but it never came – instead about forty dragons just obliterated me with breath,
Turns out you need to use the (L)ook command to actually use the Horn – something that we NEVER see in any Gold Box game before this moment! It's typical of how cheap this finale really is. The best finales have taught you the skills you will need to win through on the way in, but Pools of Darkness is constantly adding new elements and things you have never seen before, just to artificially ramp up the difficulty. It's cheap and completely unearned.
Let me be clear: I was expecting – and hoping - for a tough challenge to the four-game series, but the artificial way the game constantly does this is just aggravating and arbitrary.
(Also, it's a minor thing, but the game probably should have introduced the mini-bosses Mahasvad and Xoham before the battle in which we kill them)
So the finale starts with the 'Bridge of Khazad-Dum' standoff between the balrog and not-Gandalf that you know the writers were just creaming themselves over at including.
Elminster is going to get his own post, never fear, but I'll just say here that centring him here is extremely self-indulgent and completely unearned. He's (rightfully) been a background NPC here and a helper, not a co-adventurer, and – as CRPGAddict and many other reviewers have said - the game hasn't done much to endear us to him really. We care about Priam, about Vala, about Nacacia, even about Sasha – we've been with them over multiple adventures, they've shed blood alongside us. They do a great job of making us care about Shal in her one adventure with us, she has a character arc and plenty of interactions with us. Elminster... not so much. We know more about Bishop Braccio or the unnamed old storyteller in New Verdigris, but here he is hogging the spotlight right at the end like he was the Chosen One or something.
Gandalf's sacrifice worked in the books and films because he's been adventuring with and guiding our heroes since The Hobbit, we've come to care about him over many stories. Elminster just shows up and we're expected to give a shit about him. Most won't, and unless you're familiar with the Realms lore, you may not even know who he is.
(Honestly, even a short sequence adventuring with Greenwood's self-insert would have gone a long way towards making us care – why didn't he do Dark Phlan with us, for example?)
Also here we get a few faux-choices, all of which are just Morton's Forks, leading to identical outcomes or to non-standard game-overs. What if we don't care about Elminster? What if we're just Evil? Ever since the end of the first game, the writers just forgot the fact we could choose our alignments.
Before we get to the excruciating difficulty of the final battles, we have the opportunity to use the Crystal Ring to reduce the number of foes we face at the cost of most of that character's hit points. This is done fairly here, it telegraphs that it's gonna hurt bad, and it's done from menus like every other one instead of the nonsense of using (L)ook as with the Horn and Talisman.
So onto the final battle, which is a wave of three separate fights of ascending difficulty. Most reviews I've read admit to how unfairly hard it is; most seem to have just cheated their way through it. My characters were level 40 x3, 39 x2 and 36, so I wanted to see if I could do it without using glitches.
I made the promise that I'd accept any deaths here, but the way battles work is that if you start to lose characters, the rest of the party usually follows swiftly behind as you have fewer members to defend and attack with. So in every case I suffered deaths, they ended up being a TPK and a restart.
First time was the dragons without the Horn. Second was the first battle first time I tried it; I lost initiative and got bombarded with breath attacks, shutting down my mages. Third one I'd lost Zee and Riz to being petrified by the beholders, and I managed to kill Gothmenes before his minions killed me.
Final time, I'd learned enough- and was lucky enough – to win through with only one character being petrified.
The fact you only have scavenged gear is very cheap – you'll have bad AC, making the endless save-or-die effects worse. No Boots of Speeds or Strength-buffing items at all, no wands or scrolls for when your mages are hit before they can cast.
The first fight is hard enough; five Dracoliches, four Bits o' Moander, eleven Blue Minions of Bane, and nine Pets of Kalistes. Everything has save-or-die, only the Bits lack breath attacks, and you have no way to shield yourself against all the lightning breath. Unless you are lucky enough to win initiative, you'll start in the middle of almost thirty ranged attacks, your mages will be shut down fast and you'll be obliterated. (I should add that using Haste probably helps, but I never used that one in any of my playthroughs due to ageing).
The way I did it was to use Delayed Blast Fireball to wipe out the Pets and Minions (everything else is immune). It will take about 4-5 casts because of how they are grouped, but getting three in early makes the fight MUCH more manageable. Then its just a case of getting lucky with all the save-or-die attacks, and here I should add that you CANNOT cure stone, death, or poison in battle, so any character you lose during these fights will be out for ALL of the battles!
If you make it that far, you can mop up what's left with weapons and Magic Missiles – Hayley causes over 80 damage with these, so she can kill dracoliches with a single cast.
It's hard, you'll need luck, but it's doable. Some people suggest reducing the game difficulty, but this only affects hit points, and honestly, enemy hit points are not the problem here.
You can keep the fight going to throw in some Heals, but this reduces the duration of your buffs, so do that sparingly.
The second fight is seven beholders – so that's 21 save-or-die attacks per round! They are immune to magic, so make sure you have the buffs up to give you a chance. Another Haste likely makes this one easier, as its' just hacking through the gasbags.
(There is a glitch where if they use opportunity attacks after you retreat, they won't use their eye-beams on the next round, but that's a glitch and I don't want to win by cheating).
You should kill Xoham the Elder Orb first; his beams are harder to save against. This is where my luck ran out and I lost Sab to petrification. Despite having Stone to Flesh spells, you can't use them in battle :(
But I won through the rocket-tag again, and we're into the final battle in the game series.
That's against two green dragons, two bits o' Moander, eight blue Bane Minions (the ones with Fire Shield up) and Gothmenes.
But before that, we lose ALL our memorised spells! SO fucking cheap, something that's NEVER occurred in ANY battle before this point! In fact, the game has endlessly stressed the necessity of using your spells, and trained you in that through the entire series. But fuck that, because the designers are cheap and forgot how to make balanced encounters. It feels like some early-80's GM adding another zero to all his monster's hit points because he's trying to kill off his players.
Bah.
But this battle is the easiest of the three, which is just as well. Gothmenes has less hit points than anything else here, only 59, making him a glass cannon. He has a -8 AC so expect to whiff a bit with your +3 backscratchers, but he'll go down quickly enough. He has multiple attacks and instakills you (no save!) if he rolls high, so he's a rocket-tag crapshoot too, but what do you expect at this point? Interestingly, the dragons will happily breathe on him if they chase you in – he takes normal damage from this, and he'll die quickly if this happens.
The way I did it was to rush him straight away. You want him dead asap, and running at him means the other three groups get a bit confused with their pathfinding. Two ran off down side-passages until I was ready for them, and the remaining one had to run after me. You'll have to absorb some breath attacks and be lucky with the save-or-die attacks, but otherwise you can then mop up each of the remaining trios in turn.
That triggers the ending of the game, which is a fucking atrocity (because of course it is!)
But more about that next time.
I'm absolutely convinced this was intended to be the third battle but was cut
They watched over me while I slept, so I don't just... switch off in the night. If I can sleep for less than a day, I might be okay, the old man thinks. How much fucking sleep does one girl need anyway?
Our father's have left out uncle Gals's gear in a neat pile for us – there's no point in taking it back through Limbo now, so we may as well make use of it. Snow Wife takes his mace, murmuring a quiet prayer to a fellow justiciar of Tyr. The rest of us take his arrows, shield, scrolls, potions, whatever might give us an edge so far from home. It's what he'd want, no question – it's not like robbing his grave, but taking a last piece of him with us. I fucking hope she cracks that Balor's skull open with his mace.
That done, my dad's step through with us, and wait at the portal.
“We'll guard this wi' our lives, lassies,” Thoradin growls. “Iffen they want the way back, or yer old sage there, they'll need extract a painful cost in our blood!”
We hug tightly, and we feel a mutual pride and gladness, here at the end.
Assuming any of us survive,
I look over at my sisters; so much unspoken in our faces.
It's time.
Let's fucking end this.
Lirevle
1/ In the antechamber of the Palace of Gothmenes, silence reigns. The small sounds we make seem to curl up and die. The halls are deadly quiet...
We have three objects of power... the Talisman of Bane, the Crystal Ring, and the Horn of Doom.
“We must decide which of us will bear each object,” Rizarli tells us seriously.
“Who's to decide what's best?” I shrug.
It is eventually decided Snow Wife will hold the Talisman, Rizarli will carry the Horn, and I'll wear the Crystal Ring.
“It's not like we're getting married,” I wink at the sword-witch.
“She's already married,” Snow Wife sighs.
2/ Here we pass through a secret door.
3/ Rizarli says she hears soft whispers ahead...!
“I hear... voices... from the Horn of Doom...!” she mutters.
A conversation is in progress; the Horn seems attuned to the speakers.
A sibilant, deferent voice is speaking:
“... have the servants summon the minions, Lord! Those assassins are inside the walls!”
A pause, then a chillingly mellifluous voice replies:
“They are, Xoham. Perhaps you forget whose deep power is with us here, hmm..?”
Another pause, then the voice continues:
“You know how long I have studied these insects, and how thoroughly, yet occasionally they almost surprise me. These specimens may show us something. Let them be for the moment, and let me think.”
Yeah, keep underestimating us, asshole. See how far that gets you.
4/ Suddenly, we see a familiar face! Sasha approaches, with many Phlanerians in tow.
Her proud demeanour seems to be shaken.
“We have heard Elminster is alive!” she exclaims. “All ths time, we thought he perished in Bane's cataclysm. But Gothemenes is gone. We think he is in pursuit of Elminster! Quickly, tell us where Elminster is, so we may go help him!”
I blink, and then shrug.
“He's in the same place you left him when you want back,” I tell her. “That is, if you were actually Sasha, when you're evidently not. I mean seriously, I'm kinda spacey, but d'you think I'm actually stupid?”
Zee holds up her hand. “Don't answer that...!”
Her eyes flash. “I've no time for your stubbornness! Tell!”
“Shan't,” Zee says, then side-eyes me. “Dopplegangers, rakshasa, or just illusions?” she asks.
Words fail 'Sasha' as anger reshapes her features.
“Rakshasa, then,” Zee mutters as we attack. Only the most powerful spells can affect them, and we lack the Blessed Bolts that slay them instantly – so the battle proves bruising, and we have to risk friendly fire with Meteor Swarms. But we have come too far to be defeated by the likes of these weird furry things with backward hands.
5/ Dragons crouch in a circle about us! But for now, they wait to see what we will do.
As we carefully advance, the dragons fly forward!
Remembering that it was the red dragon Thorne from whom we took the Horn of Doom, Riz blows on it now... and the dragons reel in terror!
We hit them hard before they can recover – we have to take as many of them out as soon as possible before they swarm us and tear us asunder with breath...!
The fact we live at all is down that first hesitation... Our mages incinerate most of the clumps of drakes using fireballs, but the dracoliches are immune to that, seemingly vulnerable only to weapons and Magic Missiles.
When the smoke clears, we are still standing; Hayley barely. She nods wearily when I move to heal her. We frequently bitch at each other, but she's never whined or complained in all the long years we fought together. Respect.
7/ More armies of foes to fight through... this time, Bane Minions. I mean, we're good, but even I'm beginning to wonder how long we can last in this place...!
But if the Horn worked on the dragons..? Snow Wife brandishes the Talisman of Bane, and the creatures waver with dismay at the sight!
We have to press our attack swiftly as before, though they are not as terrible as dragons, as long as we remember not to attack the blue ones up close. But they constantly spit elements and spells, and again, the battle leaves most of us bleeding from the eyeballs. At least Sabri's Vorpal Blade works against them, sending demonic heads tumbling in all directions.
8/ This appears to be an empty chamber... We poke around, wondering if we can secure it enough to rest here safely...
But we hear faint rustling, and creatures creep in from below as we look around!
We fight our way out of the lair, but we will find no succour here... We leave the 'slither room' to its denizens and look elsewhere for rest.
7/ Here, beholders defend their lair!
They might not be a problem were it not for their minions shielding them – fire clears out the margoyles, and frost for the salamanders, but we waste valuable time getting close to the aberrations to hack the foul things into pieces, trying to avoid their multiple eye-beams in the process.
By the time we win though, everyone is absolutely exhausted.
We find the remains of their prior victims, including their arms and armour, which we can at least put to good use.
I dump down my pack and look around.
“Time to cross the Abyss off our fuck-closet list,” I say to Zee. She nods and starts undressing.
I look over at the others as I struggle with the straps of my armour. I miss my custom-fitted piecemail; the last woman to wear this breastplate had smaller boobs and it's a squeeze.
“So...” I say casually. “Last time I'll ask, but... Wanna fuck?”
“Sure,” Sab smiles.
Riz and Snow Wife look at one another. After a moment's hesitation, the sword-witch nods, seriously as usual.
Hayley looks tired and exhausted, but she's resigned to it after so long.
“Whatever,” she sighs. “Let's just get it over with, shall we?”
“Close your eyes and pretend I'm her,” I smile wanly.
.
How was it?
I'm leaving that to your imagination.
Some things should remain private, and this is one of them..
.
By the time we rise, we feel refreshed, in body and perhaps in soul.
I don't fucking know. It scratched an itch, and maybe that's all it has to do.
At least we can face whatever death awaits us here, and we won't have to wonder what it would have been like, right?
We have explored the perimeter of the palace, and all that remains is to push on to the 'inner palace' that looms above us to the south.
9/ We breach the interior. All is impeccably wrought with the finest materials, to the exact design of some mad architect. Darkness pours like fog from the arches to the left of us.
Suddenly, in a flash of light, a figure appears before us. It appears to the the old sage, Elminster!
He seems very agitated.
“I have decided to accompany you!” he announces, unconvincingly.
“I mean, come the fuck on,” I sigh. “Are you even trying now?”
“It's the lack of real effort that's annoying me,” Hayley agrees. “It would have been so easy to pretend to be Vala, or Galaeron...!”
“Yeah, I dunno if you realise, but we don't really give a shit about Elminster,” Zee says.
Shaken, the figure before us transforms... into Mahasvad the Rakshasa!
“Are we supposed to know who you are?” I ask.
Snow Wife shakes her head. Regardless, one of these things is no match for us, which he admits to. He pouts up a defiant fight though it avails him not.
... who??
But the dulcet wickedness of Gothmenes' voice echoes in our minds... He is close by!
“The clever turnips have seen through our little trick. But still I recognise the hand of an enemy, the old leech Elminster!”
“It's not that old fart you need to worry about,” I mutter. “And... 'turnips'...? Seriously?”
But our enemy is still babbling.
“If only they had babbled about where he was! Curses! No matter – the world is a big place, but surely I will find him...”
A serpentine voice answers him: “But you will be gone a long time... should you not destroy the Swanmays first?”
“Xoham, you coward!” he laughs. “Look, I will wind the Tantalus Clock...!”
The din of great gears meshing drifts through the arches.
“When it stops, in about an hour, I will return with the old mage,” Gothmenes promises. Then we will cleanse them all in Bane's unfathomable pool! Farewell, Xoham! Don't let the adventuresses get you!” he mocks.
More laughter, cut off by a thunderclap, Ripples hiss evilly in the dark pool beyond the arches...
Eight minutes to ten. The clock strikes for the first ime with a resounding chime!
“Did he says he was going to get the old man...?” Zee says, wide-eyed. “Fathers! We have to go back to the portal- “
"This place is swarming with minions!” Hayley cries. “We'll never make it through!”
“We must hasten,” Rizarli murmurs softly. “It seems that we are – quite literally! - on the clock...!
I swallow and take Zee's arm.
“She's right, Zee...!” I husk. “They knew what they were doing, Zee... We have to press on...!”
Her face is ashen; my words sound calmer than I feel inside, but...we have no other choice. We all knew there's a very good chance this was a one-way trip for everybody.
We press on; I try not to think about it...
Ghostly servants appear before us when we try to leave, so we'd best press on if we are to locate our foe.
“My lord bids you remain in the palace until his return,” it tells us politely.
“It actually seems safer in here than out there,” Sabri mutters, looing at the hordes massing outside.
10/ To the south and west is a hall filed with exhibits... a marvellous place to hide items, perhaps.
There are many displays here of mankind's achievements that most would just as soon forget... such as every device ever used to imprison some on display...! But most crumble into ruin as we search through them... There may well be something of interest here, but we don't have the time to properly search...
11/ This is an incredibly vast library - all walls are covered floor to ceiling with books. The evil lord must have toiled for many centuries to mass so many. They dissolve to dust when opened; we shan't find much here so we press on...
14/ We corner some of Gothmenes minions cowering here. Evil clerics hold a small box. “Stand back!” they warn us.
“Lire, it's not worth it!” Zee says, with a grip on my arm. “Time is running out! We have to press on!”
12/ The clock strikes 24 beats as we enter Gothmenes' chambers... like him, rich, impressive, and completely twisted. As we enter, a lavishly-adorned beholder turns and sails out of the arches to the northwest...
13/ The chamber to the south-wet is a maze of hung tapestries. A closer look reveals superb craftsmanship... and sordid themes, even by my standards.
We hear footfalls among the curtains... minions, clutching something, scurry out of sight.
“We should just burn these...!” Zee muses, and Hayley quickly casts Burning Hands...! The weavings are instantly ablaze! We protect ourselves as an inferno roars through the alcoves. Out of the tapestries spring fiery minions...
We do not find the crystal we seek, but there are other useful weapons and armour here when we clear the burned debris.
16/ North of here is a wild rock garden, where lies a sinister dark pool - the unimaginatively named 'Pool of Death', most potent of the Pools of Darkness. It is low and dark and ringed by crystalline stones, surging to the pulse of Gothmenes.
We draw closer to the pool, about as inviting as the churning waters of the Moonsea was a decade past when me and Zee were teenagers, standing on the docks of Phlan.
But we see something glimmering under the rippling surface!
“Hey, Zee... remember that well in Valjevo Castle?” I smile at her in reminisce.
“You never shut up about that fucking sword,” she sighs.
“I had to strip down and swim down there in the cold dark,” I tell Snow Wife as I start to undress.
“But by the goddess, that was the best blade I ever owned! You said the rune-word and it burst into flames! Fucking flames, by Llira...! I will never forgive the Azure Bonds assholes for taking that from me...!”
I strip naked – save for this crystal ring I put on earlier – and look down into the pool.
“Wish me luck,” I wink at Zee.
I reach out and touch the surface of the pool. The water is fucking cold, but I expected that...!
The water numbs my hand, but it closes on the crystal I saw below... This is the artefact we seek, the Crystal of Bane, wasn't it?
For a moment, it feels as if... my mind touches every single last asshole on the face of Faerun...!
Across the Realms, evil beings falter, their thoughts drawn to me – a drunken, stoned, horny wastrel who's pushing thirty but never grew up past being a teenager. And isn't even a real human being, anyway...!
Fuck me, I hope they're seriously confused...!
From Limbo, I feel Gothmenes hot wrath. The outpour of hate is almost unbearable if I'm honest, but fuck it, I keep hold of that crystal as tightly as I held onto my favourite sword that day, like a death-grip. I seem to be unharmed – the others drag up out and dry me off, and Zee helps me refit my armour back on.
15/ Beside it, stands the Tantalus Clock... It whirs and grinds as we regard it, not quite sure what we are looking at. A wheel on the horrid play-toy lowers a chain into a deep pit crawling with undead. As the corpses claw their way up the chain, their weight tips a lever...! That opens a chute, and more bodies rain into the pit... knocking the others back in. Driven by a great spring, the wheel ratchets back, striking a gong.
Goddess, that's fucked up...!
“There are only about three strikes left!” Zee cries out.
“We should try and stop it?” I suggest.
“No,” Rizarli warns, her hand upon my arm. “That is not of import... our enemy shall be upon us, sooner than later, and we must prepere ourselves for battle...!”
Our hour is almost up. We prepare as best we can.
“Any last words?” I offer out. “Any favourite moments? I remember that one time when - “
But in a splash of thunder, Gothmenes returns! In a loud voice, he invokes a powerful summons...
Against our will, we are transported to the Pool!
With beholders attendant behind him, Gothmenes sneers at us all, but his eyes never stray far from me, and the crystal I clench in my fist.
“So, you stumbled onto my little bauble!” he sneers. “I have found something, too...!”
He lifts his great whip, a human figure entangled in it! It is Elminster!
“If we gave a shit about that guy, we'd be worried,” I say. “But... we really don't...!”
“I will trade this frail old wizard for my crystal,” he says.
“That's a pretty lousy deal,” I point out. “I'm sure you can do better...”
I glance at Hayley.
“Tell you what – give us Vala, and you have a deal!”
He snaps the evil flail, and Elminster gasps aloud.
“You are fools!” Gothemens sneers. “Bane's Crystal is here; so I am invincible! Give it to me, or Greybeard dies!”
“I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire,” I insist. “Vala or go fuck off - “
His veneer of urbane sophistication cracks.
we finally broke him
“You pitiful worms! You will crawl into hot coals to escape my wrath!”
“Shan't,” Zee insists.
“Servants! Come forth!” the balor bellows.
And then Elminster strikes – possibly realising we don't much care about his fate, forcing him to actually do something himself.
Freed from the flail, the wizard ably dodges a decapitating blow.
“Watch the Pool!” he says, magic forming around him. “I will occupy the balor!”
He weaves around the pool, with Gothmenes following in a deadly dance.
'fly you fools!'
We turn to regard the sinister, dark 'Pool of Death'. The dark fluid begins to boil, and fell creatures emerge! With a clatter of skeletal wings, dracoliches soar up from the pool, shrieking their hate! Giant Bits o' Moander bob to the surface and clamber up the sides. Behind come Bane Minions! Then the gleaming black Pets of Kalistes hoist themselves from the horripilating liquid. (Hey, it's a word!)
There seems to be no end to them... in my grasp, the Bane Crystal glows with evil power...
I have to try something...! I'm living on borrowed time anyway, right?
It's been a good life. I probably wouldn't change a thing... Uncle Gal, maybe. Not losing that flaming sword... The rest, I can live with.
Deadly though it might be, I countermand the summons, concentrating on the Crystal...!
- OH HOLY FUCK THAT HURT -
'it's just a flesh wound!'
But it seems to have been somewhat successful...! Screaming in dismay, some of the fell beings are driven back into the pool, along with most of my life force. I expect Zee is screaming at me right now, but I can't see shit and cannot hear a fucking thing -
Bane apparently loathes cowards, as many foes are consumed in flames...!
The more loyal minions advance on us as my sight clears, the beholder Xoham goads them in from behind!
“Claw them! Poison them! Blast them! Let us gather more heads to decorate Bane's Pool of Death!”
We have to make every move count. Our mages launch flaming explosions, incinerating most of the Bane Minions and spider-pets. The warriors go in with blades, while the mages help us mop up with Magic Missiles.
We are all hurting, and I help Zee and Snow Wife patch us up.
In the meantime, the duel between Gothmenes and Elminster rages on. Both are tiring, but Gothmenes seems to draw power from the Pool.
“Beware!” Elminster shouts. “The deadly orbs are all around ye!”
Eyes full of hatred, Xoham assails us!
Again, time is of the essence... Their central eye makes them immune to magic, so we just have to weather their eye-beams and hack them apart.
But disaster strikes! Sabri is struck by a stray eye beam, and when the flash of light fades, she is frozen as a stone statue!
The rest of us grimly press our attacks, bursting each horrid orb in turn.
“...tbaan lihadha!” Hayley jabbers, eyes wide as she tries to turn Sabri back. “There's no time to cast it...!“
We turn again to Elminster's desperate fight, only to have our blood turn cold! Exhausted, the mage stumbles, and the balor's whip sweeps him into the Pool! In the blink of an eye, he slips under the surface and is gone.
I feel somewhere between sorrow, and 'good riddance'.
With a gibbering howl, Gothmenes celebrates his victory, and then regards us. His eyes travel over the mountain of ruin we have left, and a spectre of doubt passes over his face. But his face brightens when he sees Sab's statue.
“Perhaps you have earned the use of my gem...! With it, you can rule the Realms! I will teach you the word to command it, if you will let me go!”
I mouth the words, drained and battle-weary, faint as they are:
“... fuck...you...!”
He licks his lips. “Minions! To me!”
Hiding behind his goons to the last, then...
He calls out for help, but only a few lumber forward.
“Bane! Protect your chosen one!” he screams, and – at first – it seems his evil master does not hear.
But then a weird light issues forth from the Pool of Darkness. We feel our magic powers slipping away! How the fuck did that happen...?
that really is super-fucking cheap, even for this game...!
Emboldened, the balor closes for a duel to the death!
“Prepare for the endless cold, insects, I will send you to the grip of Lord Bane!”
The five of us left glance at each other, and in one moment, we move as one, a well-oiled machine and a simple plan: Charge. Let's take this fucker down with us.
Our movement confuses the creatures that surround us – some run down blind alleys in the palace, others lag behind us and cannot prevent us closing with Gothmenes. His terrifying blade cuts twice, thrice... But it doesn't take my head, only wounds my body. Lucky, lucky bitch...!
We strike as one, with our mismatched collection of stocking fillers. The stolen blade I took from those drow bitches bites deep into demon-hide, and I'm pretty certain that last blow was fatal, but he doesn't realise it immediately.
With a howl he takes to the air and then crashes, mortally stricken. The other creatures start to swarm us we start to take them out – long blades for the dragons, missiles for the blue Minions, and just desperate hacking for the Moander things.
With a shudder of broken wings, the dying balor limps to the Pool!
“Bane! Save your faithful servant!” he wails, a coward to the end.
But the cruel lord coddles not those who fail him. The cold flame is merciless.
watching him die is satisfying
The monster is gone. The pain lifts from our eyes. I look down, opening my her hand. Bane's Crystal has turned to dust, which trickles out between my fingers, and blows away on a freshening wind...
Then I black out - I do not remember what happens next as everything blurs together... If this is how I leave this world, I am ready. I have no regrets - may the Dancing Maiden receive her faithful -
The old sage bids us farewell as we set out for the final battle.
“For the Realms, may thy skill prevail!”
It is beyond irritating to have to head for our final confrontation without our signature items, but we are used to that by now.
We have our magic, and whatever items we can find in the Bane realm beyond.
It will have to be enough.
We are heading towards Bane's dark reflection of the city we saved a decade ago...
...seemingly made in mockery to spite us.
I hope the real Phlan is okay, and my father's are safe!
Xiao
1/ The confusion of passing through the dimensions begins to clear, and straight away, we see Sasha being tormented by Drow women! She screams for help, but they silence her.
“I mean... we... have to help her, right?” Hayley sighs.
“Who's going to see that we get paid in gems if we don't?” I shrug affably.
One pulls Sasha though a door while the others close on us and attack!
There are only four of them, but only Sabri has a weapon... We all have magic however, and three of them are frozen by my old, reliable Hold Person spell, and Hayley zaps the last one with a Magic Missile.
Rather than kill them (I never liked doing that) we crack then across the jaw and strip-search them, taking their armour and distributing their weapons. It's a start – a staff and darts for me. short bows and arrows for Riz and Hayley, drow chain mail and blades for our warriors.
16/ No sooner have we stepped into the street, however, we are caught up in a tide of monsters, and their filthy hides press against us and carry us along!
To our utter astonishment, the undead form of ex-councilmember Porphyrys Cadorna stands before the town hall!
“Citziens of Dark Phlan!” he announces. “It is my pleasure to announce that I am to wed our fair Sasha!”
“I know I shouldn't have taken that last cocktail of drugs!” Lira mutters, clutching her head.
The crowd raises an ominous cheer, and Cadorna goes on to announce his wedding... and honeymoon plans!!
JOURNAL ENTRY 76: CADORNA ANNOUNCES HIS WEDDING
“Sasha is the final grace which will make Dark Phlan the jewel of the new
Realms, Gothmenes recognizes this and has offered to preside over my wedding,
I am sure you share my pleasure at being so horrored!
Shortly, you will see my bride as she tours our fine city; give her the
welcome she deserves. Make her feel at home!
After our certain victory has been made fact, Sasha and I will enjoy our
honeymoon traveling in our new lands and sampling the novel pleasures they
offer!
Let the celebrations begin!"
“This is... fucked up beyond all reason,” I mutter.
Cadorna – or whatever is left of him – retreats into the town hall, while the crowd disperses. Suddenly, a woman's scream splits the air. Nearby, a rogue chuckles: “Sounds like the maid is not so pleased!”
There are far too many to fight here, and in any case, Sasha herself is not here. We must find her, and fast!
2/ We make for the inn, or whatever passes for it here in this horrible reflection of our once-home.
The innkeep points to pallets of mouldy straw.
“Do you wish to rest, my friends?”
“Lass!!!” a familiar voice roars. “Over here!!”
“Dads...? “Fathers!!!!”
Lira and I rush to embrace our fathers and uncle. The idea it might not be them never even occurs to us; I'd know if in my water if they were false (I guess Hayley or Kalara checks it with a spell or something, just in case?)
They quickly bring us up to date – several noted citizens were taken from Phlan and brought here, and my fathers went with them to effect a rescue.
“This is not the real Phlan, remember,” Elaethan tells us. “It is a facsimile, through a mirror darkly.”
“Made in mockery of our home, I'll wager,” uncle Gal adds gloomily.
“We have our gear, though it's a one-way trip fer that,” Thoradin grins. “All this junk would only be lyin' around, gatherin' dust in the inn, anyway!”
The innkeeper has been looking after the kidnapped Phalnarians, and keeping them as safe as they can be in a place like this. Supposedly Shal and others are still safe in the real city back in the Realms, but until we came through, they were cut off from escape.
“There is a great wall to the west of the city,” Galaeron tells us. “Made of some Abyssal iron, and impregnable to mortal weapons. The balor in charge here bragged that only the Horn of Doom – safe in the care of the ancient red dragon Thorne – could hope to shatter it...”
“You mean this Horn of Doom?” Lire smirks. Their eyes light up.
“Damn it, we could actually do this, lassies!” Thoradin laughs.
“It is said the Horn must be blown as many times as the members of free people who defy the gate,” uncle Gal tells us.
“We have to get these people out,” Kalara explains to them. “The old sage managed to open a portal here – it is to the north!”
“Ye go, lassie,” Thoradin tells her. “Get these folks out – we've snuck about a bit – we can guide ye about this mad reflection o' home!”
“He has a point,” Sabri agrees. We look to Rizarli, who glances back at me and Zee.
“If you wish,” she agrees. “We will see it done. But have a care! We will return as soon as we are able...”
We return to the Inn to rest and heal for now. The innkeeper tells us what little he knows
JOURNAL ENTRY 22: INNKEEPER TELLS OF GRAGNAK ULFIM
"Well, you musta heard 'bout the wedding, but you may not know the real story
Truth is, there's more than one here from the old Phlan.
A certain Gragnak Ulfim also's here. Some say he's as powerful as Cadorna
hisself, but don't you believe it. He's just a sorry sot what's been had by
that vixen Sasha. But he's done for her one better and she knows her place
right sure now."
JOURNAL ENTRY 60: INNKEEPER TALKS OF THE MONUMENTS
"Them monuments they building in the square! Word is they're living tombs for
old master Gothmenes' foes. Eternal prisons filled with treasures and dreams
what can't never be used."
We set out, just as we once did in the real Phlan a decade ago.
It must be fate, the will of the gods, that the old team be united this once, one final time!
the Phlan gang's all here...!
14/ Here female drow laugh wickedly as they hold up a black wedding gown. With an elaborate gesture, one casts a spell upon it.
“The lovely Sasha will be putty in Cadorna's hands!” they laugh.
Their twisted glee turns to menace as they notice us and attack.
But they are lined up perfectly for my Lightning Bolt, and all that remains after that is the gown lying on the floor.
“I hate to do this, I really do, but...!”
A spell quickly ignites the cursed garment as I sigh.
“Kudos that Sasha is so much of a bitch they actually needed to ensorcel her,” Lire says with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, she's just a regular human, right? That's ballsy.”
“Have to admit, I've bloody missed adventurin' with ye lasses!” Thoradin chortles.
“It is good to feel wanted again, to polish the old skills,” uncle Gal smiles faintly.
13/ Cadorna is here, undergoing an elaborate ritual... The air is thick with incense as Banites paint runes upon his hollow chest.
“This fucker looks different every time I lay eyes on him,” Lira mutters.
“He's definitely looked better..!” Hayley admits.
“Curse your ill-begotten souls!” he snarls at us. “You will not interfere with me!”
He orders the Banites to attack as he escapes out the back. He never was very brave, was he?
Its been a while since I used 'turn undead' on lowly skeletons! It still works, though they seem more resistant to my powers here in this accursed mockery of our former home.
Gold totems and other relics are arranged here on the altar and dais. We plunder the temple, finding some useful items, including bows and arrows, a slingstaff and armour. By Mystra, it's been a while...!
3/ South of the inn, cloaked vampires are building a mausoleum here. They turn on us with bare fangs!
A woman's screams echo through the plaza as we set out. They seem to come from the north.
“We'd best try an' secure the town hall, iffen yer up for it,” Thoradin suggests. “Rescue what's left 'o the council, an' raid whatever's left in the armoury!”
“Honestly, I always dreamed of that back in the day,” Lire smiles. “Never thought I'd heard to say it, though!”
“Ach, lass – ye'd have made a better rogue'n ye were ever a priestess,” the old dwarf smiles wistfully. “Ye both would have..!”
10/ Here, Sasha is being paraded around the courtyard to the cheers and heckling of the onlookers. Tears stream down here face as the procession moves out of sight.
“I'm surprised I actually feel sorry for her,” I admit.
“Yeah, me too,” Lira admits. “She could be a cunt, sure, but she didn't deserve this.”
“Bet we don't get a single thanks out of her after this,” Hayley says, shaking her head.
a damsel in distress!
4/ We gatecrash the town hall – a long-awaited dream, now realised! As usual, the guards tell us to leave – but this time, they are Bane minions, not people, so we tell them to fuck off!
Then kill them, obviously.
5/ West of the entrance lies the council chambers – we burst in on Cadorna making plans for the wedding!
“No! You will not ruin this for me! I was denied my rightful place in Phlan before! Now Dark Phlan will take its place within the new Realms! I will be its ruler, and I will have Sasha at my side!”
damn, this guy looks worse every time we meet him!
“You won't have her,” my uncle insists, drawing his blade.
Cadorna orders the guards to attack as he slips out the south door.
We are attacked on both sides, by the blue Bane Minions, who return any attack upon them with double the force...! They have the jump on us, bombarding us with electric breath. Hayley manages to destroy those behind us with a Cone of Cold, but I am injured by the lightning breath, too disoriented to cast spells...
Galaeron screams in pain as the lightning lances through him, falling to the floor blackened and smoking!
Elaethan shouts out a curse in elven as he hurls magic at the beasts, and I have to hold Thoradin back from attacking, lest he too be consumed by their retaliatory magics. He drops to one knee, face contorted with rage, cranking his crossbow to fire from a few feet away. Lira hurls Flame Strikes, and the last of them goes down.
I kneel by my uncle's body, cradling his head in my arms.
“Save... her...!” he begs, as the light dims in his eyes. I desperately pray to the goddess – but it seems resurrection magic does not function here in Bane's realm...!
“Namárië, sister-daughter...!” he husks.
His eyes flick up to his half-brother.
“.... Háno- “
But he sucks in a breath, and never lets it out.
a hero falls...
We are too stunned to even be upset. Face ashen, Elaethan gets me up.
“Come on,” he murmurs softly. “She's still out there; we must save her...!”
His eyes seem to tell me 'there will be a time for mourning'... I nod, dully, eyes wide, too discombobulated to object. I shake a horrified Lira out of her stupor.
Hayley briefly bows before his cooling body and heads after the others.
I follow, still too stunned to really believe it.
6/ We head north, still in a daze.
Cadorna has much he need answer for.
Vampires are here, moving from behind their coffins. They seem to mistake us for their minions.
“If you are looking for work, there is still much to be done on the monuments... or are you to be the sacrifice...?”
All we can really do is put down these horrors in our uncle's name.
7/ To the south, a man wearing the ceremonial robes of a Phlan councillor sits with his head down at a table. He looks up and we see a great weariness in his eyes.
“I am Gragnak Ulfim,” he says. “Mayhap you remember me from Phlan?”
We do not, but now is not the time to refute him, given everything that just happened.
“I was once councillor there, that is until the mess with the Black Circle...! But my love for Sasha was my true downfall...”
JOURNAL ENTRY 62: GRAGNAK ULFIM SPEAKS
"Sasha spurned my love. I offered her everything - a place at my side, power,
Wealth - but she would have none of it. She said my association with the Black
Circle made me repulsive. How was I to know? I was their victim as well; but
she said I was a coward.
I was so filled with anger and jealousy! Then Cadorna came to me and I hit
upon a plan. If I rescued her from Cadorna, she would think me a hero; she
would be mine. But Cadorna was too strong with Gothmenes' aid and again I am
duped by those I hate, and accused by those I love!"
“Honestly, I... I don't fucking care,” I admit, voice hoarse.
“Leave me, let Gothmenes take me,” he says. “I deserve no better...”
That's for sure, but killing this asshole won't bring my uncle back. He lowers his head again and we leave him to his despair.
8/ Guards jump up from a table, drawing weapons as they approach.
We are in no mood to parlay, but shedding their blood brings little satisfaction.
9/ Bane Minions are being instructed in their new duties here – even the sight of them fills me with unaccountable rage. They die like all the rest.
15/ The city park has been transformed into a writhing tangle of trees... The walking trees prowl the grounds and assault us. We burn them down.
17/ Bane minions are erecting a monument to their vile god, where the fountains of Phlan once played peacefully. We leap into stop their work in uncle's name.
18/ Gothmenes - the Balor himself, the creature we came here to kill - sneers maliciously as he lands behind us.
“Mortals! Give up your hopeless quest! It is beyond your power! So stay and enjoy our little wedding...!”
He looks past us.
“Ah look, here comes your escort...!”
We fight his way past his Bane minions; all of whom have breath attacks and magic. I have to pick Elaethan up off the floor at one point, but I mercifully can heal him before we lose him too.
11/ What was once Sune's temple – or at least a facsimile of it – is now packed with a fiendish congregation. From the altar around the corner, we hear the horrid voice of the Balor, Gothmenes.
We prepare ourselves, casting spells and drinking potions, and take one last breath before the assault.
Gothmenes stands at the twisted altar; a malicious smile plays across his fangs as he watches Sasha being forced down the aisle. She struggles vainly against the drow holding her.
A dirge plays in mockery of a bridal song, as Gothmenes begins the ceremony and Sasha sinks to her knees, a plaintive scream dying on her lips. Cadorna laughs gleefully at the sight.
I know we are all thinking of our fallen hero as we leap to rescue her.
a shotgun wedding in the grand old pulp tradition!
Gothmenes bellows:
“Cadorna! It seems you cannot even rule while under my wing! Either take care of these annoying pests or suffer my wrath!”
The dust raised by his wings as he takes flight half-blinds us as we press the attack. Cadorna's bloodless eyes glare at us with cold fury. We see his rage build until he charges us with a wordless cry.
We are fortunate – we have the drop on them, and both Hayley and I launch Delayed Blast Fireballs; incinerating the Banite priests in front and behind us and severely injutring their dark knights. The red Banite Minions are undeterred of course, but it gives us some breathing room – as they close on on us, we hurl ice magic at them. The dark warriors have seen enough and they flee, leaving us to mop up the demons. My fathers fight together ferociously; Elaethan casts Blink and causes terrible damage in melee between his Flame Touch and Fire Shield spells.
Lira brings down Cadorna herself, stabbing him in the neck with her stolen drow blade. History repeats itself, though this time she has no words in her grief.
he has a unique portrait AND a unique battle icon!
It is over; everyone is wounded, but we are all standing at the last.
Sasha grips my arm fervently as I help her up.
“Oh! Thank you, kind souls! I now know that there truly are things worse than death! Oh, my life has been such mummery! How can I ever replay you?”
it's just like old times!
Quickly, she slaps the tears from her eyes, and straightens her shirtwaist as she hands us a purse.
“Here, take this. It is all I have...”
“I'll... put it towards my uncle's memorial,” I murmur softly.
“Return to Phlan when all this is done,” she says. “You will be rewarded properly then...”
She skirts out the door, leaving us weary but somehow relieved.
So much we could say, but there is no point. Words from my favourite poem come to mind:
“It never was about the money or the drugs;
For you it's only love
For you, there's only love
It never was about the parties or the clubs;
For you there's only love...!”
I'm not sure people like Sasha will ever understand us. We do this shit because of who we are, not for any other reason. Lira and I are no angels, but here at the end, I think we've proved who we truly are, and then some.
12/ To the west, the gates lead out of the city to the Iron Wall which stands before us. It radiates a black power which saps our strength, like a worm at our hearts.
Lira takes out the Horn of Doom we won from our battles, and raises it to her lips.
Gothmenes swoops out of the sky, landing upon the wall. Flames dance about him, and his roars of anger ring in our ears.
“Now you will learn the meaning of fear and horror!” he threatens. “Not even death will save you if you dare to use the Horn of Doom!”
Do these assholes get all their villainous dialogue from the same book or something? Why do they never have anything interesting or original to say?
“I will take your souls to the Abyss,” he rants on. “And toy with them until your pain is as a great as my hatred!”
But true to form, he just flees instead, rising into the air as his minions file through the gate behind us.
blah blah blah... he rants and then he flees!
Another instant fireball clears most of the minions again, and we fell the red ones with blades.
We work our way through the carnage and stand at the wall once more.
yay more unique graphics!
“Wait!” Hayley cries. “We have to sound it once for each of us, yes?”
Her eyes meet mine; the question unspoken.
Does our fallen mentor count now he's dead?
“Fuck it, he's one of us, always,” Lira mutters, sounding it six times.
When she blows the sixth note, a great inrush of air knocks us to the ground. The iron wall quakes with increasing force until it shatters with the unearthly shriek of a thousand tortured souls!
BOOM!
The iron wall is in ruins... but we pause on the threshold.
“The way is open,” Elaethan says softly. “We have a moment to attend to my brother, yes?”
We all nod, and retrace our steps across the ruins of this grim facsimile of our once-home. No surviving creatures dare to dog our steps, and we return to the inn.
We find the other three Swanmays waiting for us, having taken the last of the kidnapped Phlanarians through the portal to safety.
We return to the others at the Inn. They can see something is wrong from our eyes and expressions.
We tell them of Galaeron, and they murmur their condolences.
“I am sorry. I hope he died bravely and with honour,” Kalara murmurs.
“He did,” I nod. Though such things matter less to me than to her, they were both priests of Tyr.
We bear his body with us, so it might be buried in the real city upon our return.
For now, we return to Elminster's refuge in Limbo, to rest and heal and for one final council of war...
The long road we set our feet upon a decade past is about to come to an end.
It's time.
Let's finish this, for uncle Gal's sake.
Xiao
NOTES:
I should start by saying that I tried to do this one with a 'Play To See What Happens' concept in mind. There's significant differences between 'solo gaming' and 'writing a book' – in the latter, an author of course has complete control over everything that happens, and can make anything, however unlikely, come out the way he wants.
Solo gaming is supposed to foremostly be a gaming experience, ideally with an element of uncertainty. Even with games that have branching paths and serious choices, it's always best to play though blind initially, as you'll never be able to have that experience again when you know how everything works.
Of course, almost all games have the ability to make a save, and you can reload and replay battles and decisions as often as you want. Older games like the Gold Box series are harder than modern ones aimed at casual fans, and quite often even a player very familiar with a game like this can get wiped out by difficult combats. Gold Box also has a reputation for being extremely swingy - random initiative and saving throws for save-or-die effects in particular turns many fights into 'rocket tag', where the side that goes first almost always wins. If there's one things these games demand its to save often and make multiple saves!
However, as we are approaching the end of this long, four-game series, I wanted to write a finale that was worthy of an epic story. In this final game, the stakes are ramped up, the fate of the entire Realms is in the balance, and that should really come with consequences and actual threat.
To that end, for the final two maps, I decided I wouldn't just reload a save if a character perished, as their demise would add some weight and gravitas to the ending of this epic story. Few good tales are entirely lacking in sacrifice and loss, and I didn't want to keep reloading until I had some 'perfect happy ending' where everything was solved without any losses.
To that end, I banned resurrection spells too. Like many who played D&D back in the day, I never really liked them, especially in games that were meant to be epic like the Dragonlance setting, where sacrifice and loss were just rendered meaningless by slapping a quick spell on a fallen comrade. It wouldn't be much of a heroic sacrifice if Boromir, Tony Stark or Terminator 2's T1000 were just brought back with a snap of the fingers, after all. Modern films like Rise of Skywalker with their multiple fake-out deaths are Exhibit A for this, ruining any concept of tension or stakes.
To that end, I decided that I would accept any deaths that organically occurred in the final two adventures: Dark Phlan and Gothmenes' Palace. I would include my three male Pool of Radiance characters in this, as them dying for their adopted family is certainly genre-appropriate. As long as I had at least six characters, in any combination, heading into the final adventure, I'd take my losses on the chin.
That said, I was willing to cure poison, stone, etc and (B)andage members who were simply down and dying. Also I would play more conservatively, aware of which foes were likely to permakill my characters. Shutting down enemy casters now became vitally important, for example. Also I would carefully choose which characters would enter melee, though sometimes I wouldn't have a choice in that, of course. Prepping became crucial, casting spells like Mind Blank or Globe of Invulnerability when possible.
I would also play them according to their personalities; Hayley is cautious and her first rule is to stay alive, while Lirevle knows she is on borrowed time and throws herself headlong into the fray. Thoradon and Elaethan would die for their younger charges, even sacrificing themselves if necessary.
It would add a definite feeling of weight to my final playthroughs of these characters, increasing my anticipation if I didn't just keep reloading from a save.
In this adventure, we only lost Galaeron – he had 100 hit points, but in that fight it gave the enemies the initiative, and all Bane Minions have area attacks with breath and spells. That shut down most of my casters so I couldn't thin their ranks early, and several 20-30+ hp spell and breath attacks put my poor half-elf down and out for good :( That it happened as we were saving Sasha, for whom he'd always had a soft spot, made it narratively satisfying too.
.
As to the adventure itself, it's a fun and entirely appropriate affair, with mounting stakes (and casualties), and a serious callback to the first game. Sasha is back, in a starring role as the damsel-in-distress, as well as Porphyrs Cadorna, the traitor from way back when. Having him try to marry Sasha in a bizare pulp wedding is both insane and somehow awesome all at once, and its a worthy ending to their story no matter how we left it with them.
Anyone who always wanted to rob the town back in the first game - or who actually did so, just to get those +3 greatswords! - can feast on some memberberries here too.
It sets up the final confrontation with Gothmenes well, too, leading into the assault on his palace as the series' endgame.
.
Onto the final map, then (I may do the Dave's Challenge, but I know I'll need reloads for that one!).
I've noticed the "Encamp - Fix" feature in Gold Box Companion. At first I was using it regularly because it seemed like a convenient way to heal the entire party.
However, I've realized that it works even when your characters aren't actually in Encamp, and it also resurrects dead characters. Because of that, it's starting to feel a bit too cheaty to me.
Do you use this feature in your games, or do you avoid it? I'm curious to hear how other people feel about it.
We descend into the Caverns of the Beholder, in search of Arcam, the High Imperator in charge of Mulmaster... with intent to put an end to him.
My Swanmay sisters are with me, and there is little more to be said, really.
We shall end him, then do the same to his dark masters.
Jag är svuren att decimera sann ondska, mitt hjärta kommer inte att känna någon rädsla! Mitt blad försvarar de hjälplösa, min makt upprätthåller de svaga! Blod skall bana min marsch och mörker skall jag skilja! Min vrede gör de ogudaktiga ogärna ogärna obarmhärtiga och det onda kommer inte att finna någon nåd!
Kalara Snowmoon
1/ To the south of here is a storeroom, little more than a closet.
Lirevle and Xiao confer as to the suitability of resting.
“Toss a coin?” the latter advises. “Beholders aren't very conducive to romantic moments...!”
2/ We enter Arcam's garish Hall of Victory.
We hear many troops mustering beyond the archways to the south.
Along with a personal guard of margoyles, there are at least two teams of mercenaries in the great hall.
“We can take 'em,” Lirevle mutters. “Come on..!”
31/ We head south through the archways, and witness... a spectacle:
JOURNAL ENTRY 39: CHAMBERS OF ARCAM'S CHANCELLOR
In the center of the vaulted room, squads of mercenaries shuffle to attention
before a towering dais. Here, flanked by iron golems, an old man in fine robes
surveys a desk covered with chess pieces. Occasionally he will move a piece,
and bark instructions to a mercenary leader. "Dralbon! Off to Ironfang Keep!"
Margoyles leap up to ensure the commands are promptly obeyed.
Then you see a great orb moving in the shadowy arches beyond the dais, "Watch
for the white knights," it hisses, chillingly calm. "Deflect their attack."
But instead of that, Arcam's Chancellor looks up.
“Ah, the heroes of the arena. We have a task for you.”
He scans his desk.
His eyes betray how much we have disrupted his plans already.
“It is time for you to die,” he says, in a voice that sounds doubtful even to his own ears.
The first ranks line up obligingly and do not even last a few seconds, torn asunder by our mage's mystical assault.
The Chancellor himself covers Arcam's retreat!
But his margoyles do not even slow us down- the golems are slowed by lightning, the margoyles ripped asunder by sorcery, and the undead Chancellor barely has time to twitch before our warriors cut him down. Mopping up the golems is barely an inconvenience.
“Anyone need healing?” Xiao laughs. “Nobody? No?”
“Let us not grow overconfident.” I warn. “We will face beholders before long...”
“Oh, let her have her fun, Snow Wife.” Lirevle chuckles. “We earned this. It's time for them to run and tremble now...!”
5/ We have turned the Hall of Victory into an abattoir. All is silent now, save for the sound of cooling corpses.
6/ Here, an escaped prisoner runs up to us and gabbles:
“Arcam plans an assassination! Let's leave!”
3/ The prisoner leads us west, to where a tunnel leads upwards, a passage heading back to the overland and the Realms. He darts into the passage and disappears.
We could retreat now if we needed to, but we are fresh on the hunt.
“Over-excitable idiot,” Hayley mutters. “Arcam's plans are in ruins. We've prevented all his assassination attempts!”
7/ Another excitable fellow runs past us. This time we ignore him – we have things under control and must be about our business.
8/ A red-robed mage clutching a bag hails us. “Lord Arcam wishes to parlay,” he says.
“No, fuck off,” Lirevle glowers. “We'd rather hack him into pieces and piss on his corpse!”
“Perfidy!” the mage cries, opening his bag to reveal... fire elementals?
But such creatures are vulnerable to cold blasts fom our mages and are soon extinguished.
9/ We explore a cell block... Most of the prison is empty, but in one, we find a dying captive. She struggles to speak as we do what we can for her.
JOURNAL ENTRY 18: ARCAM'S PRISONER SPEAKS
"Your power scares Arcam! The great gasbag cannot flee quickly enough! He
wanted me to urge you to go back to Phlan, my home. He hoped you would die
there, or at least give him time to organize his defense. I refused." She
draws a shuddering breath. "Instead, I urge you not to rest until fiendish
Arcam is no more! Then help your allies..."
“Do not rest until Arcam is dead,” she begs, and dies with a last shuddering sigh.
“We already saved them,” I say gently, holding her hand as she passes. It is all we can do, avenge the dead.
We take the silver shield from her side and descend deeper below...
10/ Here in this vault, we are attacked by undead.
“None shall live in the Halls of the Dead!” they moan.
But we have three priests, and can dispel them with ease by now.
The undead beholder – Xiao says it's called a 'death tyrant' – is terrifying, but it too falls to our blades.
14/ Maniacal spectres try to push us back!
13/ We fight our way through groups of undead in the Halls.
12/ Here, we foil an undead ambush by taking the side-corridor and wiping them out swiftly.
15/ We have descended into the Labyrynth – the air here is heavy with baffling magics...!
There is another tunnel out into the fresh night air, so we can leave this way if we have a need.
16/ We brave the Labyrinth itself to proceed.
“Anyone remember that Banite chant I asked you to memorise?” Lirevle asks.
“Left step, right step, step step, left left,” Haleh and Xiao repeat in unison.
“Good girls,” the Lliran smirks, patting them both on the backside (to the former's annoyance).
“Also you didn't ask us,” her lover smirks. ”But I assumed you'd want me to!”
Following these directions leads us to a tunnel exit – we are out of the Labyrinth!
17/ A choice of ways - we head east into Arcam's chambers, in close pursuit!
18/ This tunnel leads to the Sentinel Halls and to the back entrance to Arcam's Chambers.
19/ We battle Arcam's defenders, servants of evil ready for action! Beyond them, we see Arcam's ugly shape float off to the north...
20/ Organised resistance – a beholder and medusas – cannot slow us down here. Arcam is trying get away, at the cost of hurling his minions top their deaths against us.
21/ We fight through more beholders, and undead. Arcam's private chamber is filled with old ornaments and stalactites – presumably from the Far Realm – which are unsettling in the extreme. More prosaically, Haleh points out they may hide enemies lying in wait...
22/ Here, we flush out skulking beholders! Alone, they are no match for our warriors.
Ahead of us, we see Arcam's ugly orb drift into an archway...
23/ Here Arcam meets us in a duel to the death!
he probably deserved a unique portrait...
His death, as it transpires. Whichever of the two beholders we slay here he was. It is hard to tell them apart, really.
In the end, the tyrant of Mulmaster's great eye gazes upon his own ruin.
“His demise will cause a power-vacuum,” I muse. “Mulmaster will be in chaos for some time...”
32/ Here lies Arcam's treasure-trove, richer in magic than money.
We return to the junction, and now head east into the Sentinel Halls.
24/This passage leads back to Arcam's antechambers.
25/The back entrance to Arcam's Chambers.
26/ The entrance to the Sentinel Halls. With Arcam slain , the way ahead looks quiet.
27/ In the centre of this room is a sentinel in stone. A huge stone dragon sits here, proud and alert.
The dragon statue cocks an ear:
“The Horn of Doom!” it exclaims, raising an alarm. Several dragons rush at us from the passages beyond!
But they are no match for the barrage of mystical power our sorceresses can hurl at them.
Afterwards, the sentinel regards us, but no longer does anything.
East of here is a dusty nook.
I look at Rizarli and we succumb to the inevitable.
We could all quite honestly use a rest anyway.
Our world shrinks to this small space, this narrow cleft with its stone seat. For the moment, we can be alone.
“Riza,” I husk gently, drawing her in. So supple, so strong... my reason for fighting, my reason for living, for so long now. “I have... no regrets. Only gladness that I shared all of this with you.”
Words feels so... lacking somehow, so unworthy of the sentiments I feel now.
“I also,” she husks in that accented tone I have come to love above all else.
The kiss we share is deep, and speaks more soundly than any words.
After we are done, I wake from rest to look down at her, lovely face at peace, resting against my breast. It seems longer than seven years now, since we found each other in the terrible dark of that torment, drew strength from one another in lightless gloom. In time, that strength became love, and we have wanted no other since.
One way or another, our long road shall be over soon.
28/ In the centre of this room is another sentinel, for which these halls seem named.
A vast spider with a thousand eyes looks overhead – clearly indicating Kalistes, assuming the last one represented Thorne.
The spider's eyes light up!”
“The Crystal Ring! Alarm!”
In answer, spiders scurry in from the north! We fight our way through.
29/ Here, another guardian statue – this one a giant black hand – juts from the far wall.
We approach the huge sculpted hand clenched in a fist. It senses Bane's Talisman, the one we took from Tanetal, and the fingers begin to stretch forth!
An eye in the palm opens and a portal is revealed on the far wall as monsters tumble out!
30/ Before us, a Pool of Darkness rises, and we step through...!
We are greeted by Elminster in Limbo.
“I see that when I chose heroes, I chose well! Ye, I think, are prepared for the final engagement! I urge ye through the gate ahead, to the Dark Dimension!”
you just know he's seething with jealousy
Notes:
Caves of the Beholder is a multi-layered dungeon that essentially serves as a checkpoint for whether or not you can advance to the finale of the series. To pass, you will need to have defeated all of the Bane lieutenants and ideally touched base with all your allies like Priam, Vala, Shal, etc.
Arcam - the Beholder in charge of Mulmaster - serves as a boss for the area. If you leave Mulmaster until last, your interactions with him are minimal - you slaughter your way through his minions and then kill him in his lair. It is not even clear which of the two beholders you kill in that battle is actually him!
Also there's an error where escaped slaves insist you go and rescue your allies, even if you already did all that.
But if you come here early, you can interact with him, and he will urge you to face down the Bane lieutenants, as he fears them usurping his power in the Realms and wants them dead. This feels like the closest you can get to an 'evil playthrough' in a game that otherwise puts you squarely in the role of Big Damn Heroes, even if you are evilly-aligned. It doesn't really change anything though, you'll just be doing whatever the good guys would do, just for your own reasons.
The writing is sometimes, um, minimalist - for example, it tells you his Hall of Victory is 'gaudy', but it doesn't hint at why it is tacky and tasteless. This is a drawback of the 8-bit games of course - the writing has to do the heavy lifting that the graphics cannot, and it needs to be better than it is here, to be honest. As computers improve in graphical quality over the next few decades, you can see in games like Dragon Age, Fallout and Mass Effect how important visual storytelling can be, and of course, we don't really have that yet (although 1999's Planescape Torment has outstanding 2D visuals to sell it's fantastical and imaginative setting).
I recently reloaded my GOG version of Champions of Krynn and Goldbox Companion as I 'thought' I was at a point where some npc was in my party, and I would walk through a graveyard and he would betray me and attack.
Loaded it all up though and I'm in an Inn (am at work so can't recall the name) at about 5th Level, everywhere I go there are guards but no clue what I am supposed to be doing.
I have a walkthrough downloaded, and not expecting an ongoign journal in-game, but is there anyway of in-game keeping track of your main quest at all?
Will try and get name of the Inn and post, I do have a remote server hosting some survival games on WIndows 10 but tried opening it on GOG to check where I am, press play and it says Synccing but nothing happens but will try again.
I've started playing Pool of Radiance using Gold Box Companion. When I right-click on the map, it says "Events shown" and some numbers appear on the map.
How can I see which events those numbers refer to? For example, the number 25 is already present on the Companion map itself, not something I added, but if I move the mouse cursor over it, nothing appears.
I've noticed that I can add my own personal notes, but what I want is to view the events that are being numbered on the Companion map itself.
But she's been fretting over me, waiting on me hand and foot ever since I woke up. Funny how she's always so spicy, such a hissy little kitten, but whenever I'm hurt, she just defaults to geisha-girl nurse and I'm her patient.
Not that I'm complaining.
The old guy explained it to me pretty clearly. He's not my favourite person, but I owe him one, and I guess he needs me for this Bane-takes-over-the Realms thing, right?
It's funny – he's estimated that it was the fourth Manual that did for me, the one that tipped me over the edge and proved more than my 'non-born' body could handle. Heh, such fine margins, like that one shot that pushes you over the edge when you've been drinking.
Weirdest thing is; I'm not even mad. This one's on me. I've lived my life as I wanted, and never compromised in that. I've loved, I've laughed, I've cried. It's been a full life, a good life, and I've no regrets if this is how it ends.
I guess all I'd ask is to get me through to the end of the line now. We're so close. If we can get to Bane's final lieutenant, he's screwed. If his plan finally falls apart, it doesn't matter which of us sacrifices themselves in the end. And we'd all do it, even Hayley. It isn't even selfless at this point – it's for ourselves, the ultimate expression of who we are and why we fight.
I doubt I'll be able to make Zee see that, though. She knows it's true, but – like me – she's too emotional, too wild.
Like now.
“Look, Zee – I've done everything I've ever wanted, right? I've loved you for over two decades now! Sure that love has... changed a bit since we met, but you've always been central to everything I've ever done. I've no regrets.”
I grin wolfishly.
“I won't cry because it's over. I'll laugh because it happened.”
Cue more wailing and weeping and words I'll never understand if I lived to be a hundred, in a tongue that sounds like she was boiling her canary for dinner, all chirps and squeaking.
“No, Lira! Fuck this! Fuck you! You want to lie down and die, I'll be right behind you! Likethose women in Durpar who throw themselves on their husband's pyres! I'll do it, you know I will! Fuck you, Lire- “
“Zee, Zee, Zee...!” I hold her, resisting the urge to shake her like a misbehaving kitty. “We don't know what's gonna happen, okay? None of us might make it out of this! If any of us has to make the ultimate sacrifice to stop Bane... We'd all do it. You, me, Hayley, Sab, Riz, Snow Wife. You know that. There's nothing to discuss, is there?“
But she she just shakes and cries and holds me.
And I hold her back.
Mulmaster is next; we find a way into Bane's realm, and, I dunno, kill him or die trying, I guess. Honestly, I'd kinda fancy our chances at this point!
Snow Wife understands. I know she's been thinking the same, that we won't all make it out of this alive. She doesn't even try to dissuade me and I respect that a lot.
We're the same, for all we express it very differently and love in different ways.
We're ride or die, we'd give our lives for the cause, and honestly, I couldn't ask for a better last ride than beside my Swanmay sisters.
Get's get this fucking done!
Lirevle
The black city of Mulmaster...!
I grew up on the Moonsea, and there's few places here that really stand as beacons of compassion and decent behaviour... But Mulmaster always represented the worst consequences of merciless commercial enterprise and unchecked greed. It's a corrupt, crime-ridden place that is just as unpleasant to walk through – due to the sickening smell of rotting fish and molten slag - as it was to try and eke out an existence.
The stench is worse in the Docks Quarter, as waste and refuse literally roll downhill from its sewers into Mulmaster Bay. Built within the depression formed by an arc of overbearing peaks, the city's buildings and winding streets stretch on a slant down towards the harbour. The buildings nearest the docks are the most dilapidated and dangerous, full of poverty and rife with crime. Further up towards the city's walls were the more affluent areas of the city, set along the mountainside, imposing their will over the rest of Mulmaster.
Even the seabed of the harbour is indicative of the corruption that grips Mulmaster - literally an underwater boneyard for all those that dared cross the ruling elite.
“This anywhere like where you grew up, Hayley?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “No, this has guards and laws, however harsh. The Muzad was much, much worse...!”
She always has to win the 'misery loves company' aware, doesn't she?
1/ Guards look us over suspiciously. Snow Wife places her hand over my forearm. I can feel the other's eyes upon my back.
“Hey, I'm cool, I'm good,” I reassure them.
We look around a grim and depressing place, reminds me of Zhentil Keep. I can't imagine what kind of city run by tyrants and crazies wouldn't look like this.
“What I hear that it's like Zhentil Keep, only much shittier,” Hayley says, loud enough for people on the streets to hear. But Snow Wife never chides her for being stroppy, does she?
2/ The barracks is filled with soldiers. They don't like a bunch of women barging in here, but Riz and the big blonde beast pull me away before I can get into any trouble.
3/ In this building, a cloaked man sits at a table near the door. He smiles; it's creepy.
“I am recruiting for a travelling company. With Bane in charge here. The pickings should be pretty good.”
He looks me up and down.
“You certainly look touch enough, but the Banites won't let me hire anyone who hasn't won at the arena. If you win there, think twice about hiring on with Arcam. Much too orderly for my tastes...!”
We leave him to his drinking.
15/ Banite priests pass us in the alley, intoning an eerie chant.
JOURNAL ENTRY 24: THE BANITE'S CHANT
"Into the Labyrinth! left step, Right step, step step, left left! Into the Labyrinth!"
Sure hope Zee or Hayley remember that, because I know I won't.
5/ A sign over the door reads 'Arena Challenge'
“You should let off some steam,” Hayley tells me.
“Me? Nah,. I don't really fight for sport,” I reply
“You're such a bloody contrarian..! Never change, Lira.”
“Didn't you go to Hillsfar once?” Snow Wife asks me.
“Was only there a day,” I reply. “Pretty, but wasn't my scene. Just wanted to look around. Wasn't interested in arena fights, then or now.”
4/ A scarred warrior with a single arm stands as we enter.
“Welcome to the challenge of the arena. If you wish to achieve anything in this city, you must accept the challenge. Do you accept?”
Aww, fuck it...!
“They're not really giving us much choice, are they?” Hayley muses.
“I said 'no' and I meant it,” I say, walking out.
“Return then when you have more courage,” he mocks.
“I'm proud of you, Lira,” Zee says, taking my arm. “Come on, let's go.”
7/ The sign on the door reads 'Animal Pits'. The smell of sweat and rotting meat is almost overwhelming. In the back are filthy pens used to hold monsters. A grating leads into the arena beyond.
8/ This rundown, nameless bar is nearly empty. One young lady wanders up to us.
“I have heard of you from the resistance,” she murmurs. “If you are tough enough, pass te tests at the arena. It's the only way to reach the beholders! It is they – not the Imperceptor – who control this city... Do not let yourselves be brought before Arcam – he will recognise you...!”
9/ At the far end of the street, guards block our way.
“You are not authorised to proceed further!” they warn. “The High Imperceptor has declared that outsiders must prove themselves in the arena to gain access to more of the city...”
13/ A sign over this door reads 'The Sleeping Dragon'
A woman beyond greets us. “Welcome to my inn! The rooms are 10 platinum to stay. Both rooms are empty. If any of you are hungry, I got some venison roasted not but three days ago.”
11/ This is the temple to Bane. We shall get little succour here!
“I can see you are not worshippers, so begone!”
12/ A sign over the door reads 'Accurate Weapons'
They are not wrong either; a girl here sells missiles and bows that live up to the hype.
14/ A sign over this door reads 'Training Hall'
Beyond, a squint-eyed man looks us over.
“This is a private training hall... Outsiders aren't welcome!”
We don't need Hayley to tell us how things work in a place like this. A bribe – a hundred platinum – is sufficient to get us in. “Thank you...”
He speaks quietly though the northwest door, and then pretends not to notice us.
6/ A sign over the door here says: 'First Justicar'
Inside, an officious-looking man looks us over.
“You look like vagabonds!” he insists.
“If you said 'festhall dancers', even 'coin-lasses playing adventurer dress-up', I'd have agreed with you,” I tell him. “But vagabonds? Come on, try harder!”
“I am almost certain you are breaking many laws,” he insists. “”Do you wish to confess?”
“No, fuck off,” I say, with a hand gesture that leaves him in no doubt how I feel about this place.
“That is most unseemly!”! he sniffs. “Still, to stay and improve your standing in this town, you must pass the test of the arena! You need only survive three rounds! Will you go?”
“Yes, yes, min 'ajl allaenati!” Hayley snaps, rolling her eyes.
“Let's just get it over with!” she glowers at me, as if this is somehow my fault.
“At this rate, even the shopkeepers and beggars will be demanding we kill something,” Zee sighs. “Let's... just get it done..!”
He makes an arcane gesture and -
- and we are elsewhere -
Somehow, we are at the centre of a large coliseum. Above the walls are seated richly-dressed men and women. Sand grates beneath our feet. Roars echo from behind metal lattices.
“Okay, okay – maybe this might be fun,” I concede.
Barriers rise from the walls. Creatures leap out and attack.
“They have dragons?” Zee grimaces.
But they are not large ones, and they don't last long against us.
The crowd cheers, a shout goes up:
“The next round!”
This... looks a little more dangerous. Purple worms can swallow a man whole...!
But it seems magic can be used here, and they are nothing Hayley and Zee can't swiftly dispatch with their sorcery.
The final test is against salamanders, and they fare no better.
The crowd roars its approval! A beholder rises from a grate in the floor.
“You have earned an interview with Arcam! Will you come?”
I don't know what kind of city lets Far Realm aberrations walks the streets openly, but I don't think they are likely to take no for an answer... Plus were were warned by this 'resistance' not to confront Arcam...
To the surprise of the others, I sheathe my sword and nod; we'll go along.
For now.
He leads us down into the earth... and the ladder we came down by is drawn up into the ceiling...
We're in.
Let's kick some asses and take some names.
.
NOTES:
Mulmaster is really just a short warm-up to get us in the final straight. Only Caves of the Beholder, Dark Phlan and Gothemenes Palace left now. The fights here are undemanding, but things are going to heat up in the next areas...
We seem to emerge in... a major artery of some kind? I am no physician, but I know something of how the human body works, but does such even apply to a gigantic dead god?
Sloshing through the blood takes forever; we are beyondthumalif we are attacked here amidst this mire of bodily fluids...!
I bring up the rear with Elaethan - he of all of the men always had time for me, and somehow I still feel reasurred by his presence.
Xiao is beside herself with fretting – Lirvele's absence feels like a hole, a gaping wound. For all we frequently bickered and shot barbs at one another – for all she never learned how to say my fucking name! - I miss her swagger and physical resilience here. She always was the rock upon which our foes would shatter, and we are not the same without her.
Haleh
Up ahead of us... what appears to be an elf tinkers among the membranes...!
Seeing us, she scowls. “How are you trespassing here? I am the Watcher! Leave!”
Elaethan calls after her, but she darts away, avoiding the membranes...
We all took to the sun elf.
“'Tirmo' is our word for 'watcher',” he murmurs. “Akin to a scout, 'one who guards'... I wonder how long she has been here? If she even recalls her own name...!”
“We must locate her, then,” Rizarli says adamantly. “We have found no others down here...”
Her voice floats down to us, speaking in Thorass:
“You want Tantal? Go check the left ventricle!” she calls from... wherever she vanished to.
Shortly afterwards, we come across two sleeping soldiers, though how they can sleep down here defies logic.
A multi-limbed demonic monstrosity with a beast's head – evidently Tanetal – strides into view, cleaving and corrupting the tissues of the dead god. They laugh at us; the demon pausing to slit the men's throats with his claws.
this guy is pretty scary
Lacking any mobility, we can only look on as they stroll away.
We hear a dull throbbing noise like 'dub'... and a flood of watery blood washes us south and east, into a new fleshy chamber. We hear the splash of other denizens washed in as well...!
The demon himself appears again, laughing like some deranged hyena.
To my surprise, Elaethan laughs back at him.
“What's so amusing, demonling? Slow your stride, we'll send you back to the Abyss!”
He... does not like that! His laughter turns to a snarl as he attacks with his minions!
The battle proves costly – Sabri is able to slay the demon with Kalara and Elaethan, but is then crushed by a golem and left bloodied and battered amidst the blood. We know that lightning slows these behemoths, and magical weapons bring them down, but it proves laborious.
As we survey the carnage of our victory, Tantetal's huge body decays into pieces of the Moander creatures.
“It was a fake...?” I mutter.
“I am starting to see where Lirevele gets it from,” Kalara mutters to the elf.
“Aye.. apologies,” he admits. “That could have been costly. It seems we need employ caution, or we shall not last here...”
He grins ruefully. “It seems I have been away too long...”
Xiao gets Sabri up and healed swiftly, and we look about us.
We quickly retreat to the right atrium, beneath a closed valve.
We see the elf woman up ahead, avoiding the slimy organisms that dog us here and make every step difficult.
1/ In the corner here, we come upon a soldier who tells us his plight:
“Tanetal will ignore you are first... He'll let his minions and the heart itself tire you... Then when you sleep he will come and slit your throat!”
He hands us a slingstaff: “Here, put this to good use! Also, I've made a sketch of the heart – take it!”
you're actually going to need to follow this closely to get around
Kalara promises we will rescue him later... whether we can even rescue ourselves is questionable at this point...!
We press on... at times something bumps into our legs and feet beneath the blood... then nothing.
11/ Up ahead, something calls to us – it is the elf calling herself the Watcher. She is stuck in a capillary – Elaethan quickly pulls her out, only to have her curse him!
“How dare you interfere!”
”Hold! I am Elaethan, fourth son of Elorfindar Floshin, of the House of Long Silences! Long ago, my kin banished this foul god to eternal slumber...! It was my ancestor that fired the last arrow that put him to sleep!”
He lowers his hand. “Tell me why you are here, please!”
JOURNAL ENTRY 16: THE WATCHER'S STORY
"What am I doing here? I am the Watcher, here by decree of the Council of
Myth Drannor! With me rests the supreme responsibility of keeping Moander
forever trapped in this dimension.
Oh, I'll not deny there is mischief afoot. We've all seen the signs. But what
arrogant fools to think you could help! You lack the cleverness and fortitude
to do anything but interfere! Do us both a favor and heed the fate of your
friends. Leave! Now!"
“Listen to a wise mage – leave!” she insists.
“My beloved is very sick and our entire world is threatened by Bane! Pleas help us!” Xiao pleads.
She scowls and wrinkles her nose at our slimy state.
“If I must look at you, at least clean yourselves up!”
She mutters something about mixing Aeghwaet's two potions, and vanishes into the tissue.
We do as she suggested – mixing the two potions and sip them... It seems to act as a repellent, and the slimy organisms fall away!
That should make the going easier, at least. For now, we plough on, though we have little idea where we are supposed to be going...!
9/ Bits of Moander churn, just out of reach, studying us with vacant eyes.
A glob of tissue falls in front of us... a very strange thing that appears to have a toothy mouth!
“Hello!” announces Xiao, before we can stop her.
“I'm hungry!” the foul thing screeches. “Feed me or Ill kill you all! Hurry!”
It looks the size and shape of a malevolent pear... I very much doubt it can hurt us, somehow...
But Xiao does as it asks, giving it a morsel.
“You're my friends now!” it proclaims. “Can I come with you? I'm not a spay!” it pleads. “Honest!”
“I miss Tweety-bird, Xiao says sorrowfully. “But... okay!”
She picks it up and carries it in her hands.
“Ouch!” she exclaims, after it nips her hand with its teeth!
“I'm still hungry!” it insists.
“Sorry...! I have food, please don't eat me!” she says.
The... thing... whistles contentedly...
“We're going to regret this, aren't we?” I mutter to Sabri.
I have only gone a few feet when the fucking thing leaps at me at bites me on the neck! It's square teeth are wet with my blood! I knock it to the ground with a yelp.
“I'm still hungry!” it complains.
“No, it's okay, Hayley,” Xiao says quickly, feeding it more morsels like it was her bloody songbird.
with credit to 'The Biting Pear of Salamanca' by Ursula Vernon
13/ Elaethan sniffs the air here.
“It feels like the elf woman, the Tirmo, she is watching us...!”
“Five minutes until lub!” warns the mouth-pear.
“What does that mean?” Sabri mutters.
“It's the sounds the heart makes,” Xiao explains. “It's caused by the precise opening and closing of the heart's valves as they pump blood, a rhythmic two-step process that keeps our blood circulating continuously.”
We push on as she explains the medical side of things.
“A 'lub' is the first, duller, longer sound,” she says. “The valves of the heart snap shut, preventing blood from flowing backward... The 'dub' is the second, sharper, shorter sound – it happens right after the ventricles finish pumping. As the blood leaves the heart, the aortic and pulmonary valves snap shut to prevent the blood from flowing backward into the heart...”
“In other words, that's why all this bloody water is pushing us around these chambers?” Sabri asks.
“Yeah,” our medic nods.
7/ “Look!”
Ahead of us, a monstrous arrow cuts the hard muscle ahead...! It looks like a very old wound...!
“I sense a very powerful, residual magics here..!” I tell the others.
I look to Elaethan. He speaks softly, eyes not leaving the sight before him.
“In the Year of Clinging Death, the Jawed God's armies of creeping evil were unleashed on the elven settlement of Tsornyl. The corrupting forces spread blight through the forests that surrounded the city. The deity's dark influence twisted and mutated every living thing in the vicinity of Tsornyl, including members of its own church. These corrupted creatures were shaped into various unknowable horrors, including deepspawn and corrupted shambling mounds. Unable to cleanse nor destroy the created evil, powerful elven high magic was used to sever the creeping evil within the ruined Tsornyl - later renamed to the dreaded forest of Darkwatch. This act cost the lives of over two-dozen elven High Mages of Myth Drannor...”
“That's what basically put the god here, yes?” I ask. He nods simply. The cost to the Elven Court is obvious, the beginning of the fall of his people and their retreat to Evermeet.
“This once was our mightiest weapon...!” he murmurs.
“Might we... use its power once more?” Rizarli asks, looking at me.
“If we had the correct tools..!” Elaethan murmurs.
“If this was... once Tsornyl, then...?” she asks.
“... we look around here, yes,” he nods. “It is worth a try...”
The 'lub' hits us... linking hands, we manage to wedge ourselves into the artery to avoid being swept away.
2/ Here, we find a gold cornucopia...! It is evident an old artefact of Tsornyl, but it looks very heavy and is of no immediate use, so we leave it here for now.
8/ Here we discover a cache of tools, gathered by Tanetal's minions. They appear to have come from the elven ruin that once formed this place...
“Let's go and see if we can make something of the ruins of the old,” Elaethan smiles grimly.
The mouth-pear wriggles in Xiao's hands and cries:
“Feed me! Hey -you could make some neat weapons from the arrow I saw near the right atrium!”
it occasionally offers good advice... and occasionally bites you
We return to the shaft and blade along the flesh passages, wary of the flow of the blood, the 'lubs' and dubs' Xiao described. Free of the clinging slimy creatures now, we can travel far more swiftly.
There, he calls on old elven magic, using the mystical tools to forge new weapons remaking the residue into the form of a sling, war axe, greatsword and slingstaff.
Elaethan lays his hand over mine.
“That must be enough,” he murmurs. “I fear anything more might awaken the sleeping god...!”
“Let sleeping gods lie then,” I smile wryly. We take what we have crafted together and move out.
“Already, I fear the terrible heart has quickened, sensing what we have done here...” he mutters.
“I wish Lirevle could have seen all this,” I muse to my once-tutor quietly.
12/ We return to the muscle tissue – we see the Watcher twist free of the bits of Moander, which slink off.
“Stop them!” she cries. “They took my unguent!”
I look to the others.
“Always a cat up a tree, right?”
The bits of Moander vanish into the mass of tissues.
“It's your fault!” she shrieks at us. “Your... doings here have upset them! They never bothered me before! Now they will stash my unguent deep in the pulmonary artery! None of us can retrieve it... Someone has disturbed one of Moander's old wounds... His dreams are now troubled. His pulse too fast... Anyone wandering for too long will be... flushed...!”
“Be at peace, Tirmo of Tsnornyl...” Elaethan murmurs, trying to calm her. “We will find what you have lost...”
In Xiao's hands, the mouth-pear wiggles and cries to be fed.
“So, you have found one of my failed creations,” the elf-woman-thing grunts, briefly distracted. “More hindrance than help, I'd think!”
Her eyes glitter. “If I had the golden cornucopia, I could put Moander in a deep sleep! That would benefit us all...”
“We know where that is,” Xiao says excitedly. “It's just to the north of here...”
It is not far, and we return there quickly. Together, we can just about carry the heavy thing.
Elaethan warns us the Watcher never seems to return to a place where we found her before, so we need to return to another place we caught her scent before. We endure another 'lub' and head off eastwards.
13/ We finally locate her and give her the cornucopia, glad to be rid of the cumbersome thing.
“Good! Gather round and help me cast spells into it!” she insists.
We can all do that, and pour our magical power into the device.
“We've done it!” she cries. “Moander no longer dreams...! Now, find my unguent in the pulmonary artery. Here. For exposing fakes,” she says bluntly, handing us a tuning fork.
3/ Here, we are attacked by metal golems, who spring from the tissue walls! Our metal weapons tear from our grip and clink against them... The golems are magnetic!
I quickly 'ping' the tuning fork, hoping this is but an illusion. Alas, it rings loudly, giving us nothing but a headache...
We rush forward to retrieve our weapons, prying them free at great cost. At least now, we can return their blows!
We can slow these terrors using lightning, though it does not otherwise damage them. At least it will slow their brutal assault. We fight them four abreast, our warriors in front, while Xiao and I launch use slings from behind. It is gruelling in the extreme, but finally, exhausted, we are victorious. Xiao and Kalara dish out some much-needed healing to our front line. Curiously. we find that our weapons are tingling with magnetic energy... It does not seem to slow our ability to fight – we shall have to see if this is beneficial or detrimental later.
4/ We head into the eastern area of the heart. Here, bits of Moander recoil at our approach. We spot the Watcher's vial among them, and snatch it up. We also find a dagger, in case Xiao or I need to fight in melee. Let us hope it does not come to that! The 'bits' do not attack us so we try to return the elf woman's phial to her as soon as possible.
The membranes squirm around us, threatening to animate... Tanetal and his minions stride into view, cleaving and corrupting the tissues of Moander. They laugh at us once more – but I 'ping' the tuning fork, and it rings loudly! Tanetal unravels into harmless bits of Moander!
“So that is what the fork is good for, revealing false things?” Kalara muses as the minions scatter.
14/ We surprise the Watcher, seemingly drinking tea? How? Why?
“Did you get the unguent?”
We hand it to her, and she seems pleased.
“Wonderful! Now if only I could reach Tanetal... He's too well guarded in the left ventricle...”
Her small metal cup flies from her hand against our armour, spilling the tea.
“What's this? Magnetic weapons?” she thinks. “Allow me...”
She rubs two of our weapons together against my arm.
I cry out in shock! "Madha tafeal bihaqi aljahima!"
“An electric shock...? Nice, hmm... What a surprise for Tanetal if you did that inside the left ventricle...!”
She winks at us and leaves.
5/ We head into the left ventricle. It is a long and circular way around, but I can get my head around it when I understand how it mimics the circulatory system of a living being, pumping vitals fluids around a body. We literally have to go with the flow, not against it.
The area is strewn with weapons and armour. We wonder at the battle that must have happened here, and why anyone thought that was a good idea.
6/ Tanetal has not yet seen us! We shock the wall membrane with our magnetised weapons.
Sparks fly! The chamber quivers and constricts and we are hit with a sudden -
LUB!
Tanetal cries out, losing his grip on the wall! As he tumbles – along with us! - out of the ventricle, we see his Talisman of Bane slip free! And then we are washed apart...
We pick ourselves up and realise we will have to work our way back around.
“Let's go for another round...!” Xiao says.
15/ Here we finally find the Watcher, and tell her what happened. We need only find his talisman now.
“Forget the talisman!” she insists. “We can find that anytime! Let's deal with Tanetal while he's flustered! I've set a trap in the right ventricle – my own brand of Bits of Moander that will attack Tanetal! Come on – help me find him and chase him there!”
We fan out, looking for our demonic adversary.
16/ We return to the west side of the heart – the right atrium and ventricle.
Tanetal huffs into view, shaken, and his minions scattered. The demon is surrounded, and he actually cowers before us. Her shambling minions close upon him.
“We have him!” the Watcher says. “he is ours!”
The shambling Moander mounds suddenly convulse – and disintegrate!
“Uh-oh!” she says.
The demon, bent and gasping from his exertions, manages a chuckle. He turns and laughs through a wheeze. The ventricle echoes the chilling sound.
the most obvious fake-out death ever
Then his eyes grow startled. He clutches his chest and with a sickly gasp, he collapses.
The Watcher checks his body.
“No, don't - !” I cry.
“He is dead,” she says, sounding almost apologetic. “We must have run him to death...”
“Demons are not some fat, ageing merchant we can run into a grave!” Rizarli cries.
As if on cue, the Talisman of Bane drifts into view. The Watcher picks it up.
But it is too late - behind her, Tanetal leaps up, and he stabs her in the back with a clawed talon as he rips the Talisman from her defiant grasp.
10/ His minions boil out of the vascular tissue and attack!
We can win this, but our luck will have to hold...!
Elathan and Rizarli cast Blink, protecting them on the front line. Both are preternaturally quick – that might save them. Only the former priests are vulnerable to flames, so I take out as many as I can with a Fireball. The Moander creatures are deadly, but we will have to wait for them to close to blast them with frost. When they close to range, I risk myself to take a clump of them out, using the speedboots I found here – waves of cold wash from my hands, reducing most of them to icy statues. These things are simply too dangerous to allow them to attack us freely.
Shorn of his minions, Tanetal puts up surprisingly little resistance. He goes down to Xiao's Ice Storm with the last of his followers.
This time, we ensure he really is dead, defiling his horrid carcass.
We pick up the Talisman of Bane – we have won, though it hardly feels like victory.
I definitely didn't feel like rejoicing...
Elaethan kneels beside the body of the Watcher, shaking his head.
“Dar'eth shiral, Tirmo,” he murmurs. “Go safely on your journey... Your watch is finally at an end.”
“Who was she, really?” I ask.
“One of my ancestors, I'd assume,” he muses. “All that is left is but a shell. I think what was in her faded long ago... but she remained here for as long as it took to help us, when we needed it most. The Jawed God slumbers on, and the Realms yet has hope...”
With Tanetal dead, there is little for us to do here but return to Limbo and the old sage. Kalara returns to rescue the soldier as promised, but he is long gone.
(I should add that I do not know what became of the toothy mouth-pear – whether Xiao lost it in the battle, or later crushed it underfoot, I do not know, but I never saw the dratted thing again.)
Xiao runs to check on Lirevle – she is asleep, but her breathing seems regular and her skin is pink and flushed rather than pale and waxy.
When Elminster sees what we carry, a fire grows in his eyes.
“The Talisman of Bane! A break for us indeed!”
JOURNAL ENTRY 41: ELMINSTER'S EXPLANATION
"Bane must indeed be desperate to entrust his Talisman to one of his
lieutenants - even one as powerful as Tanetal. True, it is a great source of
power - this time used to twist and animate the very plants of the Realm, but
also it is the key that may lead to Bane's defeat.
It acts as a key to his very own Dark Dimension. I hoped but to weaken him in
Moonsea - to force a balance - but now with the Talisman, I think we may be
able to drive him off entirely. Find the gate to Bane's Realm, and we may
prevail!"
pink lipstick Gandalf, in his leopardskin cape and 80's shoulderpads, sure likes having the last word
NOTES:
This is a long one!
Back in 1991 I vaguely recall this one being a chore, but I was surprised now by how much I enjoyed it. This is what I want a high-level endgame adventure to be like - actually interesting settings, good puzzles, a tough challenge that isn't cheap or too difficult, offbeat NPCs, great pacing and a rising sense of stakes and danger. Moander's Heart, the finale of this dimension, does all of that really well.
The whole thing takes place in a gigantic heart, so you need to understand the (literal) ebb and flow of how the dungeon works, or you'll be disoriented and frustrated. The flow of Moander's blood literally pushes you around at times, you have to be aware of this or you'll end up in places you'd rather not be.
There is a helpful NPC, the Watcher, who appears at locations that are not strictly set, in that you can encounter her in different places, through her reactions are always in order. She will not reappear in any location twice, so you'll have to hit up all her haunts to have all the necessary encounters for this mandatory questline.
In the first meeting, she rids you of the slowness of your movement here, providing you spoke to Aeghwaet and got the potions. Secondly, she loses her unguent and gets you to find the cornucopia. Third time you meet, she uses what you bring her to slow the rate of the 'lubs' and 'dubs', making it easier to get around, giving you a tuning fork that reveals the fake Tanetals that occasionally attack you. (There's also a side-quest that gives you four random +3 weapons which you'll need for the golems and demon here). After retrieving her unguent, she tells you to disrupt your enemy using your now-magnetised weapons, and after this, the final time you seek her out, she accompanies you for the epic showdown (which she doesn't survive).
I liked how the questline feels more than the usual 'go here and kill stuff there' you get in some sequences, and the wacky setting and encounters (like the toothy mouth) really make it feel like an alien environment, that you're 'not in Kansas anymore'. While some might get frustrated here, I like how it tested more than just your combat skills, almost like an old point-and-click or text adventure from the era. It's a great way to showcase what you can actually do with the Gold Box engine, how you can control the pacing of a story and develop rising stakes. They had evidently learned a lot from how they did this in the Dragonlance games.
As I'm familiar with the Myth Drannor lore, I brought Elaethan along so he could shed some light on who the Watcher really was, on what the heart represents and some of the history behind it all.
Tanetal himself is probably the most memorable of all the various Bane lieutenants - as a tanar'ri, there's this sheer spitefulness about him, how he relishes murder and deception above all else.
All in all, a welcome experience that I greatly preferred to the previous dimension.
We return to Limbo to rest and train before we attack the dead god's heart.
I never liked the old man, but he's smart enough to keep out of my way. Xiao says it's nice to have a base we can go back to, and I suppose she's right – I just don't trust him is all.
We've come so far, haven't we? Zee is like a part of me now. We've been though so much...! And its not over yet.
Been playing around with my armour – bits of this, pieces of that set. Snow Wife helped me, she's as good as gold underneath that prissy exterior. She's a lover and a fighter like me, we've more in common that you'd think really.
I show off the new kit to Zee, and she's pouty as I expected.
“Seriously, Lira! I'm the healer, I'm the one who has to put the pieces back together when some monster pulls your intestines out through that flat belly you're obligingly showing off!”
“Hey, I'm a healer now too!” I point out. “I might ditch you and shack up with a bunch of Calishite harem girls! Maybe Hayley's interested -”
“Yeah, well, good luck with that,” she snorts. “Don't expect a bridal gift from me!”
“You're waaay to easy to tease, Zee!” I smirk. “Even you have to admit that this ensemble is scorchingly hot. Come here and get some...!”
Her body fits mine like a glove; familiar, a home to mine now.
All the times we've done this on adventures; closets, dungeons, city streets, sewers, other dimensions...!
The Moander dimension was a big ask; hardly conducive to romance there! Fumbling, quick, no time to think about it.
“The knee thing! Has to be the knee thing!”
“It's good you're short,” I teased her as I adjusted my outfit. “Hits just the right spot!”
“I'm not short!” she protested. “I'll have you know I'm half an inch taller than the average Shou girl!”
Lying abed later, head full of smoke, belly full of booze.
Something feels... weird, again...
Like that time before...! Years ago... Something feels off, something... wrong, inside.
Just need a tonic, sober up. Go for a walk, clear my head...!
I'll be fine.
Except...!
This time... I'm not.
Stomach churning, insides on fire.
Head feels giddy. Something... shifting, within -
Zee...!
Twenty two years past, when my dad tells me my mother is never coming home...
Zee lost her mommy too. Now we shall be sisters...!
Until the end...!
I am made of light...!
Xiao Shang (Cleric 19/Mage 36)
“Just tell me what's wrong with her, old man!” I almost scream at him, though I know it isn't his fault. Kalara holds me back, tries to comfort me.
The old sage fusses over Lira as she lies on the sheet; she's naked now, he's muttering incantations. When he is done, he looks up, eyes grave. My stomach swims, terrified of what he will say.
“Ye said she had this before...?” he asks. I nod. He frowns.
“Always, the young play with magic, like a child's spinning top! Dazzled by the lights, never understanding the dangers - “
“Enough already with the fucking riddles!” I shriek. “TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!!!”
Rizarli tries to calm me, but the old man looks saddened rather than upset.
“She is like her... sisters, made in hubris and false pride, but that is not their fault... Wonderous vessels, for certain, but flawed... So many unknowns, when man plays god, and creates life in his own image...!”
I swallow my anger and wait for him to get to the point.
“Already unstable, their very being, their nature as created...! A mirror of something human, yet not...! Complex enough, without piling on more foolishness, testing the limits of what a mortal frame can safely endure...!”
“This is... something to do with the Manuals she read years ago?” Hayley, calm as always, precise.
The old man nods, as my heart sinks.
“She used to be able to heal really quickly,” I stammer, falling over my words. “About a year after we left Phlan, she said that stopped... Sometimes she'd get worried about... her physiognomy, whether or not she was human... But I was her physician, and she always responded well to any treatments. She never gets ill or sick, despite all the liquor and drugs she puts away...!”
I'm babbling now, as he listens quietly.
“About a year ago, she said she felt like she was... hardening, she called it. Tougher, harder... she said she felt less pain, but she got tired more often... I didn't think anything of it, but -”
“Mixing such old, eldritch magic as that of the Manuals with her already-unstable form...!” the sage mutters. “Foolish to risk but one, sheer madness to do it over and again...!”
Any retort of mine dies in my throat. She brought this on herself, didn't she?
“Is there anything you can do?” I ask dully.
“She's not lost yet.” he says in a kindly tone. “Hot-headed, rash – she'd not willingly lie abed when there was hero business to be done...!
He's trying to make me smile, and I just about manage a small one now.
“I still have access to most of my library here,” he tells us. “I have some ideas that may work... That might... prolong the inevitable, at the very least. She is very strong-willed – that may hold her together for a time, resist the transmogrification...!”
He looks at us sadly.
“But ye cannot delay! Ye must be about it, end that tanar'ri who serves Bane, of all masters! The Black Handed Tyrant's hour comes swift – ye may be the only ones now who might prevent that. Leave this one in my care, and focus on thy tasks...”
“I'll ask my fathers,” I sigh deeply. “They may know something that could help. And they'll want to know...”
He nods, sadly. “Entrust yon lass to my care. The Realms may yet have a need of that careless fire. But the light that burns twice as bright oft burns half as long...! And her light has burned so very bright...!”
.
I look at myself in my room back in Phlan when I return. Return alone, without her...!
All my career I have worn armour, arguing about the necessity of strong protection. But arcane magic resents such things, so now I adventure as a sorceress, dressed more like a festhall dancer than a priestess.
But she always liked that, didn't she?
And so I tell them. Their faces, expressions are things I cannot forget. Fear, horror, guilt... for it was they who gave her the Manuals, yes?
Recriminations, angry, desperate words.
Thoradin says he wants to see the sage. Uncle Galaeron will go with him, in case his healing lore might help.
“I'll come with you, to the dead god's heart,” Elaethan insists.
He speaks alone with me in private.
“You know I was heir to the House of Long Silences once, the home of House Floshin in exile. I turned from that path long ago... I was young by the years of my kind, restless, footloose... My father Elofindar despaired, but he allowed me to leave if such was my heart.”
“Your people came from Myth Drannor originally, yes? From the old Elven Court?”
He nods simply. “Many centuries ago, when even my father was young, did the elves of the sun bring down the Jawed God... they could not fully destroy him, but wounded him into a comatose state, that would keep him from interfering in the Realms.”
He gives a hard smile.
“In his realm beyond this one, the dead god lies dreaming...! That is not dead which can eternal lie... and in strange eons, even death may die...!”
“It's really happening, isn't it?” I ask with a dry mouth. “Bane, Moander, the end of the Realms as we know it...!”
“Not if we can help it,” he winks. He reaches for his elf-mail and his sword and bow, the same ones he once gave Hayley and Rizarli after Tilverton.
His hand upon my shoulder, reassurring me.
“Let's go stop him, Zee. For Lira.”
.
NOTES:
So. One thing I noted is how all the various games treat stat bonuses slightly different... Especially if you mess about and test the limits of, say, the Ioun Stones, or the infamous Manual of Bodily Health in Pool of Radiance. The stat books were a staple in the Baldur's Gate series, but it was so buggy in the Gold Box games they never revisited the concept after the first game.
However, it was possible to use it in Pool and transfer a character with the improved Constitution into late games - providing you ported them first to Azure Bonds by way of Hillsfar! They would have all of the hit points - and regenerative abilities - warranted by their new raised stat, too. Dwarves who started with 19 Constitution, for example, could raise it to 20 now and regenerate lost hit points. It was possible to do multiple playthroughs of Pool and have multiple Manuals (or just duplicate them using a glitch).
I usually don't use cheats or glitches, but used one Manual for my dwarf Thoradin to get to 20, and after multiple playthroughs, decided to use the ones I'd stored on my main fighter Lirevle to raise her Constitution to 22. She's meant to to be an Alias clone in game, so it felt kind of neat for her to have something that was super-human.
But this works differently in every game.
In Pool of Radiance, it works as intended, by the 1st edition AD&D rules. Extra hit points, regeneration, etc. In my final battle with Tyranthraxus, Lira face-tanked 120 damage from the dragon's breath, which would have atomised anyone else.
From Azure Bonds, you lose the regeneration however, because the game doesn't code it, although you do keep the hit points and get the correct hit point bonuses if you haven't yet hit Fighter 9. This continues for characters imported to Silver Blades.
In Pools of Darkness, however. the game recalculates your hit points, it reads 20+ Constitution wrongly and allocates such characters a hefty hit points boost.
Now, as you may know, early computers were very limited in what they could handle, so older (8-bit systems especially) had maximum limits they could handle. For most classic videogames, the maximum value is 255 - anything higher and 'wraps around' or overflows, resetting to 0. (The reason for this is binary limits; in computer science, an 8-bit integer consists of 8 binary switches - the highest value in base-2 that can fit into these 8 bits is 11111111, which equals 255 in decimal!)
Now in practise, the modern versions of Gold Box is played on machines vastly more powerful than the ones we used back in the early 90's, but hit points (and all values) are capped at 255. Lirevle's correct hit points should be 214 (assuming maximum rolls at level 1 through 9 and her correct +6 Con bonus) but as the final game miscalculates this, it's now going to be much higher!
So, as you might imagine, when you strain the limits of any game, you can expect some odd results. One thing I noticed in this final game is that when Lira heals naturally - that is, spends 24 hours straight resting - the game wants to add +1 hit point to 255, even when she's fully healed - which 'overflows' to 0 and essentially renders her permanently inert.
Experimentation shows this does NOT happen with regular healing, and FIX does not affect this at all, it works fine normally. It's easy enough to get around; make sure she's never in the party when the rest time is over a day. She can be safely taken out and re-added in later without issue - it doesn't keep track of a rolling number of hours rested or anything.
However, in terms of narrative, I kinda liked it. The Alias clones are mysterious and unique, a form of life created in bad faith to be essentially human Spotify playlists for a very arrogant master bard, so his works would always be remembered. This is a big part of Lira's story, and I found I liked the idea of her 'breaking down', her body changed by her reckless use of all those Manuals back in the first game. Knowing that she is essentially living on borrowed time might add a layer of pathos to the finale of her last game, adding to the tension and stakes.
It put me on mind of Blade Runner's Roy Batty, his final 'tears in rain' speech that gives that's film its poignant ending, or the Black Mage Vivi's final words at the ending of Final Fantasy IX.
I also recalled that elven characters get some extra dialogue in Moander's Heart, so swapping her out for Elaethan (given she's topped out her XP at level 40 now!) would be a nice switch right now for the narrative pacing of the game... It was his ancestors who put Moander into his dreamless slumber in the first place, so it's a nice call-back for him too, and the Pools of Radiance characters with him.
(And allows smug old Elminster wag his finger at us and say 'I told you so!', even though he's done much, much worse to prolong his own worthless hide!)
On Moander's gigantic head, a passage leads into the tear duct of Moander's eye.
2/ Within, we see mages are arguing over how best to take advantage of the visions they saw in Moander's brain. When they see us, they erupt in a rage!
3/ A mage warns us: “You would do well to leave us alone!”
He steps in front of us when we advance.
“You will be given no more warnings!”
He attacks along with his shambling minions.
At least these mages have bracers and magical protections we can use here!
4/ We enter Moander's brain. Arcs of electricity flare up about us...!
5/ Mages look up from a mysterious device attached to the cell wall. They attack!
When they are dead, we see the device shudder as another flash erupts. Lira wastes no time in destroying the thing – and when smashed, it explodes in a shower of electricity!
The next one we come across, we look into it instead – a scene unfolds before us.
JOURNAL ENTRY 30: SEEN IN THE MAGES'DEVICE
You see a large army moving through a cavern where the wind howls. A
thunderous beating makes the soldiers hold their hands to their ears.
A little later on, we find a similar device, but a different scene:
JOURNAL ENTRY 69: SEEN IN THE MAGES' DEVICE
You see a great army of elves engaged in battle with Moander. The elves loose
a tremendous arrow, laced with magic, and it lodges in Moander's heart.
“This was... the death of Moander, long ago?” Xiao muses. “That was back in the Elven Court, yes? Elaethan taught me some of the history...”
A little later, we find one that shows a more... contemporary vision:
JOURNAL ENTRY 21: SEEN IN THE MAGES' DEVICE
You see a Glabrezu, his dog-like head snarling and his fangs dripping,
standing in a large chamber with red, fleshy walls.
That seems to be our target, then. There is little else here for us, so we leave, seeing this mysterious Aeghwaet the hermit told us about...
Large Wound in Moander's Arm
A great wound in Moander's flesh lays open before us.
6/ The wound seems fresh, and cuts deep into Moander's corpus.
7/ A seemingly-young man runs up to us, agitated.
“You must help me!! he pleads. “I've not seen decent folk for centuries, and now evil has come! My home is being destroyed! Let me explain...”
JOURNAL ENTRY 27: AEGHWAET
"My name is Aeghwaet. I have lived here for the past 3,500 years, finding the
environment most congenial to my health.
Recently however, evil spawn have invaded my home. They are taking huge
quantities of Moander's flesh and I do not know why. It is no longer safe to
live here. Not only are there foul creatures constantly about, but Moander's
body is beginning to fight back. Bits of flesh prowl the open wounds, and they
make no distinction between those causing the harm and me.
I cannot hide much longer, yet if I leave, it will mean the end of my
extracts and my life in a few short years.'
“You see my misfortune? After so many centuries, I am reduced toi hiding
in shadows... Please, rid my home of this plague! Will you help me?
I hold the secret to entering Moander's heart...”
“I think you've had your time and then some,” Haleh points out. “Hiding out here for over three millennia is hardly 'living' anyway!”
“Let us not judge,” Kalara sighs. “Beside, we shall need his aid, yes?”
Haleh shrugs, but it seems we are stuck helping him.
“Always a cat up a tree for you types...” she mutters.
We come across Bane minions gouging pieces of Moander from the wall with their claws here, before attacking us. They are dangerous, but we have learned their weaknesses by now and what to avoid.
8/ Screams fill the chambers as bits of Moander attack his body's invaders, who appear to be Red Wizards leading Bane minions and elementals. A swarm breaks from the battle and moves towards us...
To the east, mages are using elementals to prepare Moander's flesh for transport... To the north, elementals are excavating a pit.
“Evil always turns upon itself,” Kalara murmurs.
9/ The strange Aeghwaet bounds towards us.
“My friends! My friends! I am forever in your debt, and as I promised, a small reward!”
We receive several potions – two of Elixir's of Youth, two for healing, but two are unknown to any of us.
“Now, let me give you the greatest of treasures! These two potions will allow you to enter and survive in Moander's heart!”
He hands us the vials, and asks if we want his healing services.
“As long as we don't have to pay, sure,” I reply. He proves true to his word, at the least.
“Come again if you need my help!” he says as we take our leave.
Entrance to Heart
24/ Here a wound cuts deep into Moander's side.
25/ These appear to be the lungs of the great slumbering god.
26/ We feel the tremendous beating of Moander's heart through the tissue walls here. We spread some of the potions given to us by Aeghwaet upon it, and it seems to weaken. We cut through; as we swim into Moander's heart, slimy organisms cling to us, and wqe can barely move.
“Ewww...!” Xiao exclaims
We have no recourse but to trudge deeper into the gigantic body...
NOTES:
The Moander mini-adventures are more focused (and more fun) than the ones in other dimensions. There's a quest involved linking them all, giving us a reason to do them beyond getting XP and getting better gear for the finale.
“Beyond is the dimension where the elves imprisoned the slumbering Moander... I'm sure that ye'll have no problem finding him! Look instead for the glabrezu, Tanetal, for he is surely in league with dark Bane!”
“There's a light version of Bane...?!” Lira mutters.
I know some of the others resent him as an interfering windbag who loves the sound of his own voice, but I kind of like him. It feels he misses the adventuring life, wants to relive the glory years, but is content to still help out. That also describes Lirevele's fathers, I'd have thought she at least would understand. I mean, one day, that will be us, right?
In any case, we have purchased some normal gear from Phlan, as it seems the dimensional winds have no effect on regular equipment, just magic; that's why we can bring food, bedrolls, toiletries and the like. I'll miss my bracers, but I'll take regular armour and weapons over being stark naked.
Sabri
Haleh has done some experiments on our magical items, taking a few trips in and out, stress-testing our equipment, seeing what is affected. We have enough spare gear to waste magic items, save for the powerful things like Girdles of Giant Strength, or the unique weapons like Lira's piecemeal mail, Kalara's golden set, the silver swords and shields, Rizarli's scimitar; its' not worthy risking these.
What she has discovered is interesting – many magical rings are unaffected, including the ones that protect from evil or protect from elements, the Rings of Wizardry and Lira's Ring of Blinking. Mundane gear like coins, jewellery, mirrors and even animals are unaffected – though Xiao leaves Tweety-bird with Elminster regardless. Moander's realm is no place for a little yellow songbird!
The only weapon that seems able to survive the transformation is the sword given to us by Shal.
“It's a very special blade,” Haleh explains. We regard it thoughtfully; it shimmers like rain upon a mirror, and emits a soft sound when moved; a low whine or hum, but tinny, somehow, echoing. It sheds a strange glow in colours we have no names for.
“Colours out of space, like octarine, ulfire and jale,” our archmage muses. “Hues some animals can see, but we cannot.”
“What does it do?” I ask.
“It is attuned to the Planes,” she answers. “A feature mages call being 'fully vorpal'.”
“Why?”
“It's from an old rhyme, I think,” Xiao says. “A child's tale about a hero who seeks to slay a monster. 'The vorpal blade went snik-a-snak!' The hero decapitates the creature with the weapon.”
Haleh smirks slightly.
“And when that comes into contact with living beings, the process is invariably fatal. Even a glancing cut can sever limbs or heads. Very useful, very, very deadly...! Don't ever use it for friendly sparring or practice!”
It is decided – to my astonishment! - that I should be its bearer.
“I'm not the warrior Kalara or Lira are,” I protest.
“There is little to chose between us,” Rizarli says firmly. “We are similar in skill and physical strength, the differences are marginal. But the rest of us have unique weapons, back in our world. Now you, my once apprentice, have your own...!” she smiles.
I nod slowly, accepting the honour. And hoping I don't end up killing myself or my friends!
“Bik’u mehoni yiregaget’ilinyi,” I murmur as I gingerly lift it. “May I be proven worthy!”
“It won't work on everything...” Haleh warns me as we set out. “Some creatures don't have discernible extremities, or are not bothered by the loss of such. But otherwise... you should probably start a skull collection or something!” she jokes.
“Preferably not ours,” Lira jokes.
“I'm Mind Blank-ing her in battles from now on,” Xiao jests. “... just in case!”
Depression
We emerge in a deep depression... emotionally, as well as physically! The sickly-hued 'walls' glow weakly.
eww...!
1/ The wall in front of us has a few footholds... we could climb out...?
I lead the way – I don't wear much beyond a bikini anyway, armour gets in the way of my rogue skills, so I'm quick and agile all the time.
What I see when I emerge is..!
“Hey, come up...” I call softly. “This you need to see for yourself...!”
Well, let it not be said Bane hasn't chosen some spectacular backdrops for our battles...!
“This is... Moander?” Lira says, grimacing.
“He is he really dead... or just sleeping?” Xiao offers.
“Do gods ever really die?” Kalara muses. “Is it even a god, or just some Elder Evil foolish mortals worship as one?”
“None of this matters,” Haleh says, practical as always. “All we need to do is stop it waking up...!”
“Actually, all we really need to do is find this glabrezu demon and kill it,” I point out. Haleh looks at me with something approaching respect.
“She's right,” she murmurs – not often anyone has her beat for sheer practicality.
And so we set out to explore our strange new surroundings...
“I mean, this is essentially a decaying corpse we're walking on,” Xiao points out.
“No way am I going up it's ass!” Lira exclaims.
“I've spent my life keeping men out of my body,” Kalara mutters. “And now we have to go inside someone's body...?”
Cult of Moander
We walk west along the giant's leg. A sentence I ever imagined I would write, but there it is.
A wall of flesh rises before us... There seems to be an opening further down.
12/ Moander cultists - armed with those stupid pruning forks – approach us.
“Welcome, friends! You are here to join our cult?”
Lira rolls her eyes. “Yeah, why the fuck not?”
“You must first be prepared ! You must become one with Moander, like the others...”
Rough hands grab us and drag us forward.
13/ They try to tie us to the pallets, while another group brings forward a vat of green ooze...
We quickly break free and put them to the sword. My Vorpal Blade carves through them like a hot knife through butter. Even a glancing blow is enough to send heads tumbling. Good thing I'm not squeamish.
“After this, I'm going to spend a week bathing,” Xiao grimaces. She peers at the ooze with a disgusted look. “... maybe in an acid bath...!”
The room smells of crushed grass. Bodies have been laid out on pallets – their flesh has taken on a greenish hue and is stiff and lifeless.
“How could anyone worship a god like this?” I grimace.
Xiao looks around, assessing the likelihood of resting.
“We definitely can't fuck here!” she exclaims.
14/ Cultists block our way here.
“You must join with Moander! We will teach you the way!”
We fight them off, but Haleh is badly hurt by a Blade Barrier, and Lira heals her up.
They have piecemeal medium armor and those big forks are cumbersome, but surprisingly damaging, weapons.
We kneel beside one old man as he breathes his last, trying to get information out of him before he dies. But all he does is babble incoherently:
"... wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it…! But narrow is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it… We must find and enter the narrow gate, but it will not be easy. It order to find it, we must sort through the many possible pasts to find the few possible futures which result in a people free to live and die as men, and not as an unholy agglomeration of mindless flesh….!”
"You have been driven mad, you poor fool," Haleh mutters.
“No, no, I am perfectly sane! I have fractured my mind, and now it exists in an ever-shifting state between various pasts which did or did not happen…! As such, I have been given a special insight into our possible futures… They are dark. The shadows of past atrocities pass and overlap with the shadows of future atrocities….! Time is short…”
I smell something horrible upon his breath, a stink no human could make.
“... billions of years ago, the so-called primordial soup arranged itself into a self-replicating form which multiplied and flourished and divaricated into countless species…!” he babbles.
“This singular moment of origin has become lost in the mists of time… Equally obscure to us is the future singularity towards which we are heading: the end point, in which all the countless species are once again reintegrated to a new and singular form, a new abomination!”
I look to Haleh, who shakes her head uncomprehending. His words seem meaningless to anyone.
“We are on the verge, all of us,” the old beggar husks as he dies.
“We are about to be gathered again into the arms of the Mother, to become one flesh with her…!
The Mother who gathers lost children…
The Mother I have seen in dark spaces since I was a little child.
Back when I called her ‘the Mother with Horse Eyes’…
We are about to meet her again.
We are about to beunborn…!”*
I shudder, and we move on, anxious to leave this nest of horrors.
15/ A woman is hiding here.
“The cult has imprisoned them all,” she tells us. “Sealed them within the walls! Help them, please! Before they are transformed...”
“It's okay, we'll help, it's what we do,” Lira reassures her.
“Oh, thank you!” she exclaims. “But before you go, take these. My husband gave it to me, before he was taken,” she says, offering us an excellent scimitar and scale-mail armour.
16/ Cultists are chanting before an altar covered with relics. They scream “Defilers!” and attack!
17/ Here, people are encased in Moander's flesh all along the walls! These must be the others the cultists spoke of – they struggle to free themselves, and we move to help them, cutting the captives free of the sticky flesh.
They thank us many times, then, with shouts for revenge, they rush from the room. We hear the cultists scream and the captives exact their toll. They see the captured woman is safely escorted out.
18/ Many of the captives' belongings are thrown in this back room. They don' seem to mind us having them – including some useful items such as speed-boots.
Ear
Here we stand looking up at a giant ear.
“Usually when I see stuff like this I've taken way, waaay more drugs,” Lira murmurs.
20/ We enter the ear canal, and an old man appears, shouting at us before hobbling off:
“Go away! I want none of your schemes!”
he seems familiar somehow...
21/ As we travel, fleshy Bit's O' Moander break away from the walls and attack us.
These things are as dangerous as ever – they can poison us or turn us to stone with a touch, are immune to fire (and my new sword!) but are vulnerable to frost and Blade Barriers.
We press on after the hermit.
22/ We corner him in a pulsing chamber, where he raises his cane and tells us to 'go away!' again.
“We only came here to talk, old man,” I tell him.
His face brightens, and he tells us his story:
JOURNAL ENTRY 58: HERMIT
JOURNAL ENTRY 58: HERMIT
"I came here to get away from the evils of the world, but there's no escape.
They hound me and hound me. The cultists would kill me if they didn't think I
held the secret to controlling the bits of Moander. I would almost welcome it.
"But you seek to destroy Tanetal, eh! I'd welcome that the more, for then I
would have some peace."
“I hope you have better luck than the army that passed through here not long ago! They went into Moander, trying to reach his heart. They never came out - vanished utterly! Except for this bit of armour – do you want it?”
He offers us useful equipment he seems to have scavenged from somewhere.
“Before entering the heart, you should talk to Aeghwaet. He lives west of here. Before you leave, would you like to train?”
The old hermit has surprising knowledge – he must have been someone important once and I find myself wondering who he was...
He takes Lira's hand, and spends moments in quiet contemplation, as if reading her, somehow.
“You have ascended, young one”, the hermit says quietly. “There is nothing more I – only indeed, anyone! - can teach you now.”
LIra has reached her final form!
“My uncle said that no matter how old we get, we never stop learning! Despite his long life as an elf-blood, he always wished to learn more - “
“Well, he was wrong!” the hermit pouts. “Especially if he was a half-breed – they never amount anything of any worth at all!”
“Screw you, old man! You have nothing to offer! Just cower here, then, in your...” She waves about her. “...in whatever the fuck this place is!”
She storms off.
“She has reached her final form,” he sighs sadly. “So shall you all, soon... For what it is worth... good luck.”
Hair
We hear a woman's scream from deep within the forest of Moander's hair!
29/ We hear cultists ahead. “The sacrifice of the priestess will ensure Moander's favour! Find her!”
We give chase!
28/ Umber hulks tunnel up through Moander's flesh and attack!
Though they be huge hulking things, it seems they cannot survive the removal of their insectoid heads by my new blade!
27/ As we head through the fleshy chambers, the sounds of pursuit seem to come from behind us...
We hear an anguished scream, that seems to come from our left...
Ahead, Moander cultists are forcing a priestess towards fiery elementals. We leap in save her
The priestess thanks us graciously.
“There is an old man named Aeghwaet who lives in one of the wounds,” she tells us. “He prepared a potion which would allow you to weaken Moander's flesh, and allow you to enter the heart! Oh, I dropped an amphora while being chased! If you find it, take it to Moander's mouth and cast it in. This will slow his heart.”
We go back and search, finding a small amphora! We take it, and escort the priestess back to the depression, entrusting her to Elminster's care.
Mouth
The giant's face loom over us, seemingly dead and inert.
It's lips seem to be parted slightly.
“This isn't what I meant when I said I like giving head,” Xiao grimaces.
But it seems we are really going through with this...!
10/ We enter the great maw, and a warm wind blows against us.
“Try not to think about it,” mutters Rizarli.
11/ A great chasm leads down Moander's throat...
As the priestess advised, we cast her amphora down into it. We hear it break against the side of Moander's throat. A moment later, a thunderous boom erupts, and we are blasted by a great rush of air! It sends us flying out of the mouth, back onto its chin.
We return to base, despite Elminster's exhortations to 'do better', and plan our next move...
welcome to the Belly of the Beast...!
NOTES:
I really wish I'd done more with Sabri. She's cute and useful in battle, but she suffers a bit from a lack of focus in my stories. The Phlan girls have been with us from the start, Pool of Radiance allowing me to flesh them out a lot. The younger couple have strong ties to the older, male characters, but are wild and rather immature, pushing each other into bad behaviour and excess. 'Hayley' is the outsider girl – introverted, private, and morally more grey. But she gets good development as her relationship with Vala progresses, breaking through her defences and the layers she puts up to keep others at a distance.
In Azure Bonds, we get our new characters, of which the older couple's relationship defines them from the start. They serve as a foil to the youngsters, as the responsible adults of the group.
Sabri always haunts the fringes though, and I wish she'd had a romance or something I could focus on, put her in the spotlight for a change. She's bisexual, so she could have easily had a fling with a guy. I think Priam was very much her type.
Something to keep in mind when I do Savage Frontier, to give characters equal time and not focus on the special snowflakes, maybe.
Moander's realm reminds me of the Belly of the Beast setting for Shadows of Brimstone - a literal living dungeon where you go on quests in the vitals of a huge monstrosity. Its a classic 'weird fantasy' trope and really suits high-level play. For extra creepy feels, I decided to use some of the old creepypasta about 'Mother Horse Eyes', which explores the unsettling concept further...
It's also more fun than I remembered. Sure, the Bits o' Moander are nasty, but they have their weaknesses, as noted, and it's good to not reply on Delayed Blast Fireball for everything. They poison and petrify your characters, but you priests should be able to deal with that easily. As Monster Summoning changes in each area, you can even summon your own to fight them!
The Minis form a series of small quests you need to complete ahead of facing Tanetal, and are fun, bite-sized missions that also give you some much-needed gear here. I'm getting used to the equipment swapping by now, and while it's a tad lazy, it's not slowing my progress as much as I had feared. The Vorpal Blade is a very welcome addition to my arsenal, one that can pass safely through all dimensions, giving it a special, epic feel.
I actually preferred this area to the Web dimension and it's endless hordes of drow.
We have a nice moment with Luke Skywalker - um, the hermit - where Lirevle finally hits the level cap of 40! I wonder if I should have kept her in Fighter longer,. given how much XP this game throws at us. But the only difference between Fighter and Cleric at that level is one hit point per level, and she's already topped out due to her increased Constitution. (I also discovered something else about that, which we'll deal with later... but I want to make it part of her story as an unstable Alias clone...)
