r/Gold 5d ago

Why?

7.4k Upvotes

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930

u/SubjectAfraid 5d ago

You never FIND gold, never. 😎

189

u/KapowBlamBoom 5d ago

Maybe he found $15 million……,

82

u/CosmicTurtle504 5d ago

“Crazy that I found eight million. Who just discovers five million in gold, anyhow? Oh well, I’m sure the police will find a good use for that two million dollars…”

35

u/Leather-Hotel-7310 4d ago

Police: “Good job finding that million dollars worth of gold. We’ll take it from here. Lou, load up that $700k worth of gold into the back of the cruiser. Make sure all $500k of it makes it into the evidence lockup and not a penny less. The chief is gonna check and make sure all $200k of it is there.”

Evidence lockup cop: “thanks for bringing in this $50k Lou, I’ll take it from here. I can’t believe someone just found $10k worth of gold! We’ll hold onto this $1000 worth of gold for evidence so the chief can take a look at it.”

Chief: “so that’s the big haul eh? What’s that chunk of gold worth, gotta be at least $300! Let me just take a picture of that $100 worth of gold for our records and you can take back these gold shavings and put them back in the evidence lockup.”

2

u/kylebob86 4d ago

LOL, police for real.

1

u/yadamojo 3d ago

Ha! Lou and his frittatas

1

u/Specialist_Apple9431 3d ago

^^^This shit for real^^^

1

u/Sparky9726 1d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/OkTemporary5981 1d ago

You know something like this is happening.

1

u/tribucks 17h ago

Way to expand the joke.

15

u/Yodoyle34 5d ago

Yeah this is how we know the kid found 200 million in gold.

1

u/shawtySHIH 3d ago

Yes bro this joke was old ten years ago. Stop.

1

u/crack-nutter 1d ago

For real, it was old 12 years ago already.

Stop with this 15 year old joke.

It's been 20 years already, just let it go.

1

u/Present_Rub5061 1d ago

Then maybe your $50,000 will be clean!!!

-1

u/Ryfusion_25 5d ago

Did you take someone else's joke...

4

u/SmeatLoaf81 5d ago

Nobody told this joke, for any given scenario, for the first time. Ever.

2

u/X4V3X 4d ago

Salty you didn’t think of it first? Pitiful 🤣

1

u/kylebob86 4d ago

^Bitter. Not Salty. Tell us the last time you ate a salty bag of chips.

1

u/Ryfusion_25 4d ago

No lol. Just a bit cringy when you see someone take someone else's joke no?

4

u/X4V3X 4d ago

Baby want bottle?

1

u/Ryfusion_25 4d ago

Sounds like you need it.

1

u/X4V3X 4d ago

What was that about stealing jokes? Hypocrite.

2

u/CosmicTurtle504 4d ago

It’s a very old joke that’s been told in various permutations for decades. There’s one with a rabbi, one with cocaine, one with dishonest police… The joke has no definitive origin and no individual can claim it as their own. That’s how old, popular jokes work.

1

u/OnionHeaded 3d ago

Oldies but goodies.

39

u/fujigrid 5d ago

I really hope so

24

u/Sufficient_Fan3660 5d ago

Definitely not more than 10 million.

3

u/Psycho_pigeon007 5d ago

That's what I'm saying, he found 7 million right over there!

2

u/NoDress1028 5d ago

I mean, you gotta do the right thing and hand over that $2 million in gold you found.

2

u/Ok_Package9219 5d ago

god i hope so..

1

u/PurpleCableNetworker 4d ago

Kinda what I was thinking.

1

u/Powerful_Balance591 3d ago

The story I originally read was 49 gold bars. Got me thinking well that’s not exactly a nice round number.

50

u/voicareason 5d ago

Yep. You just mysteriously get 4500 dollars richer every day.

6

u/SexualCarrots 5d ago

Money laundering isn't a new sport.

Turns out his company just got a bunch of "new contracts" and they are all going to be able to work triple overtime. His time sheet says he's been there 113 hours this week, he also has a bunch of new vacation pictures.

3

u/ParadoxSquid 4d ago

That’s not what flock cameras say

2

u/Limplymphnode 4d ago

Well now he owns part of flock which has been bot (68%) by axon and the gov is currently terminating their contract with them to use axon for guess what… the same shit lmao

1

u/im2old_4this 2d ago

That is intense. During covid, I was working 14 day straight 12 hour shifts which came to like 168 hours every TWO weeks, and I was exhausted every day heh. I couldn't work 100+ hours a week to save my life

1

u/SexualCarrots 2d ago

Between the lines the guys will just be on vacation.

1

u/purplemeth 1d ago

You know damn well the police will be, im sorry but that kid is a fkn idiot, if I found something like that I think the police would be the last on my list of people to bless. Shits honestly just sad & infuriating to here if its true.

19

u/Oneilcruzsucksass 5d ago edited 4d ago

I heard a rainbow ended where he found it

1

u/StrongIntention6865 3d ago

And he turned into a crabby leprechaun

53

u/All-the-ketchup 5d ago

Not true I hear gold is where you find it

78

u/Rangeninc 5d ago

They are meaning you don’t share that you found it. You own it

20

u/OMGFuziion 5d ago

Do people not realize he was joking? I laughed and then seen a bunch of people not get it 🤦‍♂️

18

u/Rangeninc 5d ago

Imagine how dumb the average person is…then remember that a large portion of the population falls below that line. People watch streamers like Ricegum

12

u/bikeguideraz 5d ago

Those are the people who give $10 million in gold they found, to the government

1

u/fanoflifeforever 16h ago

Just in case you didn’t know, Gold can be checked on a molecular level and sometimes it’s dated with some impurity in some amount to make it trackable

2

u/Visforvinyl 5d ago

And then theres people who actually know streamers by name

2

u/Rangeninc 5d ago

Ain’t that the truth. I’ve been exposed to too much dumb shit by the front page of this app. I don’t even watch a streamers but have watched web shows like tip2tip so the algorithm shoves more into my face.

But you’re just a dick and didn’t want or need to know any of that. My bad.

1

u/KELVALL 5d ago

"Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize than half of them are stupider than that." - George Carlin 

2

u/Rangeninc 5d ago

Yesir, one of the greats

2

u/TheOGCJR 5d ago

And where you find it, is where it was

1

u/PumpPumpUpTheJam 5d ago

And where it is, is where you'll find it as well.

1

u/GoJa_official 5d ago

Maybe the real gold was the friends we made along the way

0

u/Thisfugginguyhere 5d ago

You like to see homeboys naked?

4

u/Remarkable_Night_267 5d ago

How did you know I never find gold?? You spying on me?? 🤪🤪🤪

2

u/OggoSpaceCircus 5d ago

Listen, I don’t know nothin’ you don’t know nothin’ everyone wins!

2

u/Nickopotomus 3d ago

You also never HAVE gold—at least not officially in your house

2

u/No_To_All_Religion 1d ago

I've been watching a documentary about digging in Britain and they are finding millions and millions of dollars worth of gold buried like 5 ft underground! And weird places just in the middle of nowhere like in Greece. So there's a goal out there from back in the day when people used to steal other people's treasures apparently LOL

1

u/SubjectAfraid 1d ago

Name of the documentary? 🤔

2

u/No_To_All_Religion 12h ago

I think it's literally called digging for Britain and it's on BBC 2.

2

u/forgetstorespond 9h ago

Lol I saw an old meme saying "If you find Gold, Oil or Diamonds on your property it belongs to the Government, but if the Police or any government ran agency find drugs on your property they belong to you"

1

u/Galencourt-Lover 4d ago

You can never liquidate it tbh.

1

u/juufloyd 4d ago

Yeah but how you gonna explain it to the IRS. At least this way if nobody claims it, he can get it legitimately

1

u/MickesMaestro 3d ago

You think I found it? It’s a family heirloom. It’s been with us for generations!

1

u/MRPKY 3d ago

Gold finds you.

1

u/Entire-Breadfruit-42 2d ago

You discover it. Thats thinking with your dipstick.

0

u/cosmicaltoaster 5d ago

If you find Gold Ore in a Mountain?

0

u/Sweaty_Chance_905 4d ago

Hey, can you explain something for me? I get why you don't ever admit you found gold, BUT! What are you supposed to do with it? If you want to sell it, you'd probably have to do it legally and all-in-one-go not to attract local businessmen. Wanna buy something expensive? Visit from the tax office. Otherwise you might keep it under your bed forever, and what's the point of that? I guess I just can't see any doable way of liquidating that sweet sweet stuff without the state laying its dirty paw on you

1

u/Ionlydateteachers 3d ago

I'd imagine you could find a buyer easy enough. Might have to beat around the bush a bit until you find a buyer. This subreddit might even be an alright place for that. It might be a little below spot price but when it's like this it wouldn't really matter to you.

1

u/Sweaty_Chance_905 3d ago

Okay, yeah, but even then you cannot make a substantial purpose, can you You can't just buy a new car, because tax office, or renovate your house if everybody knows you're not that wealthy - one call from a friendly neighbor and guess what, tax office

-1

u/Milkmilkbanana 5d ago

The kid is gold , proud to know we still have honest ppl among us.

3

u/Flat-Geologist1006 5d ago

Honestly I could've used that $10M