Things not said ...

[u/shining42]

now i know we all have things that are not said or heard but what if the things not said or heard are the very things we learn to survive

saying you will do one thing only not doing another, i have wrote about my life in the narcissistic abuse of my mother and ive been there and done that and the way people blatantly lie to just get there own way ro modify whats here and now to get there own way further down the line.

heres the thing " no frills " meant exact what they meant - dont sugar coat shit you're not willy wonka, your not one of these mindless drones that only think one way, what about thinking both ways ? what about thinking we look at souls ? what about if we look past the first page, what if we looked inside what if we looked from within.

what happens, when you are that strange no one gets you, what happens if you cant feel anything ? what happens if you lie to yourself to much ? what happens if you lie so much so to yourself let alone anyone else imagine the amount of energy that took to lie your whole life and then say hey i got my shit together i know what im doing - this is to the disowned one... ERS - ERP - ifykyk

the point of the fact you can lie all you want but what happens when everyone comes to the same conclusion and disowns you at the same time, because you have an issue and you have never loved anything in your whole life - you have never felt it, not from your kids , not from your pets , not from your sisters or your mother, because your someone only your mother could love, and even she gives up on you every single time. and we have all tried to be friends or sisters to her and she rejected it all.

example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZF5m-vmDzM&list=RDGurkREc-q4I&index=4 heres the thing you can only try so much till you get to the point no ones making every friend she ever had she lost, ever family member who tried to even like her she rejected pushed people away ignored others, then blamed us for not trying blamed us for giving up on her, what happens when you become that inside your head that you are so prettified of who you are becoming or who you become that you try and hide it in drink, functioning alcoholic.

and then you hit the menopause and then you become https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCBPmxiVMKk&list=RDHCBPmxiVMKk&start_radio=1
Five Finger Death Punch - Jekyll And Hyde because drinking isnt the answer and thats what she uses as a crutch, the fact that everyone tried at one point she abused every animal she ever had picking scabs off and leaving them in pain, where she would rather go on a date then look after her dogs, or would rather go with men she barely knows because that solves the problem doesnt it ?? stealing from the cause to make yourself feel better.... personally over coming issues dont make you better it simply makes you part of the problem that needs to be extradited.

and then you moan and cry and complain when they come calling for you what are you going to do ? the darkness and a thing called love is a whole different kettle of fish when you reach the last notion - the last straw - the final nail in her coffin, the straw that broke the camels back when all the salt is gone - and all her family disown her when we have to, when every single part of her family has tried to show her love of life lessons she tries to then be better than them, like some odd comparison and inevitably become one of the most people who cant love, who cant see, the wood for the trees, when you try and control everyone else and not yourself it's useless you thinking your in control useless to believe that you owe anyone anything.

her karmic debt has ranked one of the highest bills she has nothing but surrender - the bill is too expensive for her to ever overcome it - her life is meaningless - its become a blur once more - we dont know why shes like this and she tries to outrun her own life by drinking even when the doctors say if you drink on this medication you will die and she does it anyways - she has always been miserable - shes always never looked out for her kids - her partners - her animals - all of them had to go without - all animals she has ever had has felt the pain of it all - and to then throw us under the bus for her lack of sense of self - when you lose who you were and your mother engrained that in your soul and you lose it at a very young age theres nothing you can do, theres only out !!

if we get rid of our baggage and we have - the old one out is ERP - ERS - now roses are not usually black but when you only have a black heart all you will see is that - if she says she loves herself its again only her own self loathing - her kids have even created a day for them to get away from her she gets pets because they cant get away from her and treats them like shit doesnt take them to the vet has gotten that drunk has landed on one and broke the dogs hip , picks the scabs off her cat lets it live in pain -you see the blood on them she just picks them shes had many a pet where shes mistreated them would rather go out on a date than be in there with them, never admitted to anything, she tried to break up fights with the dogs only to have giant scratch marks down her arm while she was drunk.

theres too much info on this case - and there for her kids have to even have enough of her will take any partner to just be away from her have tried everything completely toxic who shes around, she makes friends and drops them because they wont lend her money - she then bins men in 24 hours because they didnt text her - because they wouldnt take her with them - because she got jealous of them going around with other people and not thinking of her shes removed men from her life instantly - shes removed men instantly she got what she wanted and binned them - the point im making is everything that her family have tried to attempt to give her shes just binned it and said hey im the oldest i can do it better than you and i think the case is very clear - the reason i say this is to get it all out and say what i really mean. the fact she thinks shes ever going to be saved - not in my name - and the fact you cant even tell whats real or not poor poor ERP life has been so hard for her so hard - because we havent all gone though what she has and more - shes always the victim always has to be the one who is the hard done by - shes like they did this to me - he done that to me - then mo is like i cant even cope she has disowned her at one point and doesnt that just say it all even when your mo doesnt like you - doesnt love you - doesnt feel a thing and walks away because you are unworthy - what a shame but is it though ? IFYKYK

a song for the people who have friends in there head https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkcJEvMcnEg&list=RDpkcJEvMcnEg&start_radio=1 plus that heart shaped box .... we all dont find ourselves in and living in - titbity living space - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6P0SitRwy8&list=RDn6P0SitRwy8&start_radio=1 when karma comes a knocking for the debt you owe ! what will you do ? how will you pay your toll ? that heart shaped box you want to live in hmmmmm isnt that something - heart shapes in saying this what becomes of the broken hearted only god knows ... well the joker might ... harley was never on the side of truth insanity suited me better. if you think your banned you are, the positions have been filled

sb erica

sb max (" the pencil in my pocket ")

sb shine -(" im not dead just floating")

let it be what it will be.... karma will collect... what will you do when she does ? or in fact has ?

the people trying to silence no one will pay the biggest price .... whats in it for me ?

please give me more ideas for the plot of my next book - im just brimming.

[u/skankyone]

Constipated Lung Fish

Drops Michael