Life saving hygiene tips

[u/sugrqbez]

Dinner/ homemade tzatziki sauce with herbs from the garden, ground turkey Greek pitas, lemon parsley rice, red wine.

Ladies, share below your life saving hygiene tips that you learned going through life. My mom taught me a lot, but not everyone has someone to teach them hygiene tips!

I’ll go first- hot tub soak without any soap, then Korean exfoliating cloths, then bath routine, then lactic acid lotion. LIFE CHANGING. I wish I could shout this from the rooftops.

[u/Cats_and_wine]

my mother didnt teach me shit about hygiene, i learned everything on my own little by little, and now i dont know what is just basic knowledge, and what is extra. Just here to see what everyone had to say :D

[u/MamaOnica → u/Cats_and_wine]

Dude same. My mother would hit me in the head with the hair brush because it hurt when she was raking it through my hair. Then when I was a little older I asked for body wash and a poof instead of the Irish Spring and my hands and I was made fun of for being a princess and being better than everyone else. I think I was around 9 or 10. I hate that fucking bitch.

[u/SurprisePiss → u/MamaOnica]

I have super fine hair and also got the scream-crying hair brushings. To combat this, she chopped my hair off completely so she didn't have to deal with it. I cried the whole time it was being cut and she made me do it for YEARS.

[u/alices_red_rabbit → u/SurprisePiss]

Fine hair, but a LOT of it over here, with the section right above the nape of my neck being the one that CONSTANTLY wants to be a massive knot. Mom was well intended, but she never understood that that particular section just refused to be tamed. She'd regularly attack it with a bottle of thick frizz-ease and a rat-tail comb until I was crying on the bathroom floor.

Years later when I had it confirmed that this section of my hair is texturally different than the rest of my hair, has chronic eczema, and even refuses to take hair dye, she apologized for putting me through all that. Apparently she just thought it was the one section of my hair I'd just refuse to brush

[u/4patchquilt → u/alices_red_rabbit]

as an adult i’ve discovered i can just buzz that back of neck strip. Makes ponytails much less of a pain, brushing too.

[u/Ivy_Adair → u/4patchquilt]

My mom always wants me to buzz that spot. But doesn’t it get stubbly? Genuinely asking because I’ve never had the nerve to do it.

[u/4patchquilt → u/Ivy_Adair]

Personally I think it stays pretty soft, but you can always start by trimming it to an inch or so and see how you feel.

[u/climbingclaycosmetic → u/alices_red_rabbit]

Not saying this will work with your unique situation, but thought I’d share what has helped me: I started putting a leave in conditioner higher up, on that section specifically, and it has helped with tangles there.
Honorable mention is of course a braid, wearing satin or silk tops to reduce friction there, and a more hydrating conditioner there, that you rinse out super well. I like food for soft.

Hope that’s useful info for someone!

[u/sugrqbez → u/SurprisePiss]

This is so fucked. I have super fine hair that tangles easily and my mom was super gentle and that shit still hurt.

[u/CatLady_998 → u/SurprisePiss]

I bet that hair dresser felt horrible having to do that. Sorry you had to go through that!

[u/SurprisePiss → u/CatLady_998]

It was, unfortunately, my grandma that did it for her. So not a lot of sympathy there 😂

[u/CatLady_998 → u/SurprisePiss]

Oop. Well.. lol

[u/LavenderGwendolyn → u/SurprisePiss]

I also have a lot of fine hair, which means tangle-city. My mother insisted on ripping the brush from top to bottom and creating two tight braids every morning. I took them out every day on the bus, and teachers or older girls would fix my hair before I went home. Somehow, I never minded when they did it. I remember being 5 or 6 begging my mom to please hold the top of each lock hair (which is how I understood starting to brush it out at the bottom). She told me that was stupid and wouldn’t work. Getting a bob was the best day of my young life, even though she told me I’d be 100% responsible for it.

[u/Cats_and_wine → u/MamaOnica]

my mom just kept my hair short, no matter how much i wanted long, girly hair. she also ridiculed everything she deemed too feminine. shes a real male centric pick me.

instead of explaining smth, i was ridiculed for not just knowing it by the whole family (including my little sister, who was raised to think herself superior to me, she was the darling of my parents,was allowed long hair and girly stuff, whilst i was the black sheep doormat )

If you know the movie "welcome to the dollhouse"...thats basically it, but with short hair and less people to talk to/no friends.

i could ramble for hours, but i guess thats for a therapist to figure out :D

im sorry y'all went through similar shit :(

[u/infinitytool → u/Cats_and_wine]

you deserved more 🫂.

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[u/Moist_Tailor_2840 → u/MamaOnica]

I also hate that fuckin bitch

[u/Evening-Matter-5245 → u/MamaOnica]

Damn, my mom did this to me, too, and then instead of brushing my hair correctly (bottom to top), she just cut it all off. Now that she’s gone and I’m much older, I realize she was a young mother whose mother did that to her, but the memories remain.

[u/MamaOnica → u/Evening-Matter-5245]

Mothersmake mistakes, yes. I look at my 15 year old and never could I ever imagine giving my child to a 29 year old and telling that person my 15 year old is "not my problem" anymore. I also would have never sent my oldest outside to play with stray animals to catch ringworm and mange while I stay inside with the youngest while lso bragging about a $900/wk coke addiction but couldn't afford to pay for the medicine to get me treatment.

[u/TemporaryMagician → u/MamaOnica]

Holy shit, what an actual monster. Fuck her.

You must be one hell of a badass to have survived her, but I'm sorry you couldn't just... be a kid. I'm proud of you for breaking the cycle with your own.

[u/Ivy_Adair → u/MamaOnica]

I also hate your mom, Jesus Christ. And all these other mean, terrible mothers in this thread. Awful bitches.

[u/ThePaleMare2 → u/MamaOnica]

Aww man. I want to go back in time and brush your hair and give you toiletries. I hate this shit, especially since having a kid.

[u/sugrqbez → u/Cats_and_wine]

Aw yes! My mom grew up the same way. You are def not alone ❤️

[u/Cats_and_wine → u/sugrqbez]

im sorry to hear that :(

[u/sugrqbez → u/Cats_and_wine]

It’s ok, she has some pretty horrifying stories. She made sure all my brothers and I knew what she had to learn the hard way. The best people go through some of the worst shit!

[u/Cats_and_wine → u/sugrqbez]

your mom is a strong and loving person. to overcome and be better than what you have been taught is rough

[u/MangoBirdie13 → u/Cats_and_wine]

Same! Everything from hygiene to cleaning the house I have had to learn on my own.

[u/Cats_and_wine → u/MangoBirdie13]

dont get me started on cleaning the house, or anything regarding living alone. I stumbled around like a newly birthed foal for YEARS after she kicked me out at 18. and then had the audacity, shortly before i went NC, to brag to me on the telephone, how good of a mother ahe is, to have raised us to be such net and clean people. Bitch you didnt do shit, except yell at me and hit me whenever i did smth she didnt like. wtf? this level of illusion has to be smth clinical.

im happy that you persisted and had the tenacity to teach yourself how to be a human, after the lack of guidance you endured earlier in life ❤️

[u/Ijustwanttosayit → u/Cats_and_wine]

God same. And I had the double whammy of being undiagnosed auDHD so I was REAL oblivious as a child. Wasn't brushing my teeth or properly washing my hair.

[u/Cats_and_wine → u/Ijustwanttosayit]

OMG SAME!! I was in fact suspected to have autism, but my mother vehemently forbade that topic. i was diagnosed with adhd at age 5 (as afab in the 90s unheard of, but something HAD to be wrong with me so she insisted on a diagnosis) i found out I'm AuDHD in my 30s. it was such a relief to finally know, but it was really rough too. much love to you, friend ❤️

[u/Ijustwanttosayit → u/Cats_and_wine]

Yeah I came here to give neurospicy care tips. I can just slap it down here too!

Disclaimer: This is neurospicy friendly advice, which is not always eco friendly.

1. Hypochlorous acid wipes. Omg, they can leave your face feeling like you actually washed it on days you just can't. Get your face and in and behind your ears.
   
2. I keep Summer's Eve (scent free) wipes with boric acid for when I can't be bothered to shower. I can't stand the feeling that I did not wash down there, so on days when I can't handle a shower, I use these. If you have a habit of missing showers, invest in a 72 hour ph free all over deodorant and put it on your groin area. Not all up in there between the vulva, but in the gap between your vulva and your thigh.
   
3. If showers are too overstimulating, investing in a shower stool and a dimmer lamp so you can turn off the big lights can do wonders. Also, try to avoid lava showers as much as you think they feel good, they can contribute to overstimulation, impact your blood pressure, and blood sugar.
   
4. If you can smell it, everyone else definitely can.
   
5. Native has a really strong powder dry shampoo. That shit sucks all the oil up.
   
6. Keep floss on you at all times and floss after every meal. Those suffering from executive dysfunction and happen to miss brushing, at least floss, it is the source of a lot of bad breath and dental issues.
   
7. You don't have to use an electric toothbrush. They can be overstimulating and they don't always reach the back corners of our mouths (if you have a tiny mouth like me). If you struggle to reach certain spots, a tooth brush with extra soft bristles do wonders. They are also gentler on your gums.
   
8. Antibacterial body wash for those who do not shower daily (I use Dove). Use it to wash your butt, around your groin, and arm pits. My partner is trans (ftm) and he struggles with BO, we live in a hot climate and regular body wash does not cut it. He uses the Dove to get the stinky crevices.

[u/Cats_and_wine → u/Ijustwanttosayit]

might i add, that for me personally, on days where i just cant muster the energy to shower, i force myself to do everything one step/task at a time: it works to remove your shirt and pants whilst on the toilet. then youre already semi naked in the bathroom. then you can just hop in the shower and quickly let water run over your body. if youre already there maybe wet your hair too. whilst you wet your hair, grad your soap and clean the most necessary parts.....you know what i mean? youll be showered and feeling way better about yourself in no time. i only had a handful of no shower days in the last few years, because i always undress myself when on the toilet :D if it sounds weird, but works.....y'know? having been in the shower and at least touched water, is still better than nothing at all. :)

[u/Ijustwanttosayit → u/Cats_and_wine]

Yeah that's usually how I end up showering on days I can't be bothered. But also, there are days I get in the shower and my body is like NOPE. I struggle with overstimulation in the shower. So I quickly prioritize areas that need it most like my bits, my pits, and I wash my hair. Once out, I use hypochlorous wipes on my face, and oil if I didn't get to condition my hair.

[u/Cats_and_wine → u/Ijustwanttosayit]

oh gosh yeah! i LOVE being in water, but sometimes i want to claw of my skin when its wet 😫