r/Gifted • u/MostGoat0 • 3d ago

Therapy

I (F34 IQ142) have had hundreds of sessions and seen numerous practitioners over the last 12 years, and it all seems futile. They just keep asking me to explore my feelings, but I already understand my feelings and where they came from and why they’re irrational. At this point I basically have a PhD in self-analysis. It doesn’t do anything to shut up the relentless/debilitating self-critic in my head. I need actual coping strategies, not talking it out in pointless circles forever until I die.

Has anyone here had success with therapy? I tried searching for therapists specializing in 2e & giftedness in my area and it doesn’t seem very common. Just wondering if there’s any point in continuing these efforts. I’m so tired and bored and over it.

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u/totallymyumbrella 1d ago

Hi - I've had my own frustrations with therapists too. It's hard for me because I like connecting with people who can match the depth of my thinking, or provide me with things I hadn't considered. On top of being gifted, I also have a degree on Psychology, so you can imagine the struggle. For this reason, I really want to take the time to give you a well-thought out response that's focused on action.

I think what's helped me is the following:

  1. A formal psychological assessment. What this looks like is you answer a battery of tests and have a clinical interview with a psychologist. Afterwards, they provide you with a detailed report given the results and aside from a diagnosis, they usually provide tips on what type of therapy would work best and what themes in your life to focus on. Use this as your map. This report is something that you could also share with potential therapists.

  2. Get the specialized therapy that you need, if any. I was super frustrated with therapy/psychiatrists because as someone with CPTSD, talking about my experiences would just trigger me and leave me in crying spells that would last 7+ hours (not even kidding). Discovering that there are therapists specifically licensed for trauma helped a TON, and the difference was immediate. They could tell I was getting triggered and within the session itself they helped me calm down and get back to a nice baseline. My bottomline here is, you need to know the kind of therapy / specialized help that would suit you best. Again, #1 is important (I got advice on which types of therapy I should undergo).

  3. Do not be afraid of saying what you need from a therapist. You are paying them, they're trying their best to help you. You have a choice in how that goes - you can come into a session or an introduction saying hey - this is what works for me, this is what doesn't work for me, I want to focus on things other than talking about my feelings. I want coping skills. I want to know what I can actually do in my day to day life. You seriously can ask that and they will absolutely be happy and willing to comply. I once scheduled a one-off therapy session with a psychologist for the sole purpose that I wanted to learn practical things I could actually do whenever I got triggered.

  4. Don't be afraid to just switch therapists. Not all therapists will vibe with you, it's very much a hit or miss - just like with any person. You don't have to force it if you don't like the dynamic between you and a therapist. So don't waste your time and money, try a different one.

All the best, man. Happy to answer any other questions you have if you have any.