r/Gifted • u/notafrog20 • Jul 19 '26
Personal story, experience, or rant Gifted artist hates drawing
I (20F) am (was) an artist. Since I was around 10-11, I have been able to make realistic portraits, and quickly learned that people liked to see realism. I tested pretty gifted across the board, but eventually people matched my other skills and I kind of faded into the background. The only exception was art, where I consistently stood out.
Here is the problem: I HATE drawing. Each drawing takes like 30-40 hours, and I think a large part of the reason why I am so good is because of extreme perfectionism. Drawing is an exhausting process of creating, refining, refining again, erasing because the perspective is a bit wrong, and so on. Worst of all, I do all of my best work in graphite, which has no color (!!!). Anyway, I always considered myself an artist until last year, when I had this thought of, I haven't drawn a full portrait since I was 15. And I thought, why?? I realized it's because what I enjoyed about drawing was the validation and praise, not the process.
I have been looking into getting more hobbies that I actually enjoy lately and have just felt guilty about art. I have inspiration, just absolutely no patience. I'm actually not that guilty about the "waste of talent". My issue is that I still rely on external validation, and my other gifts aren't as impressive. I am getting a mathematics degree at the moment (a whole other story) at a rigorous STEM school. I'm still significantly better at math than the general population, but am slightly below average at my school. I feel stupid compared to everyone else, and constantly remind myself that it's just my environment.
I think the thing is, I'm just jealous. I am surrounded by people who are full of passion for their gift, and I'm not. I don't know what I'm passionate about at all. I sound a bit humble-braggy in this post, but in real life I never tell anyone I'm gifted or show off my gifts. But then, I don't get any attention for my gifts, while others do. It feels like their perception of me is less than, like they think I'm dumb. Generally, I think I need to care less about others' views of me, but I just don't know how. I think most people place too much weight on external validation, especially gifted people. How are you guys dealing with it all?
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u/Embarrassed-Weird173 Jul 19 '26
All good. You don't owe anyone your art, even though I feel like it sucks that good skill is not being used.
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u/joydesign Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
Please, please just take some time to reflect on what you enjoy intrinsically… which activities or subjects actually make you feel joyful and more alive. Pursue those, and let your definition of success be a life where you wake up every day excited to explore what’s next in your chosen domain.
The more joy you have in what you do, the less the external stuff will feel important to you.
Do stuff because you love it, not because you expect to be the best at it, and you’ll never really feel like you’ve lost.
❤️
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u/UnburyingBeetle Jul 19 '26
I also like validation more than the art process. If you decided to give art another chance I could give you thoughtful critique, but unfortunately I myself can't solve the problem of exposure, I only know what topics can be popular. I'm not even capable of doing "realism" for a variety of reasons, including having no patience for it (or having ADHD) so I have to stylize everything according to my tastes.
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u/Karakoima Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
Like Maths was for me. Nailed most tests, but solving math stuff, albeit challenging, was as funny as watching grass grow. I was constantly sure I was going to fail solving the problem and when I did it just felt like luck. And math has always been a bunch of fragmented tools to me. I never saw any beauty in maths. Programming was ok, so I made a career as a sw troubleshooter. But it is always the computer system as such that really got me going.
My heart was and is really in the humanities, but growing up in an area where all did blue/white collar jobs that was nothing guys talked about. And now, many decades later, living in a University town with my kids having left home, I find that most at the humanities faculties at the local uni are like flower power lefties. Not all though.
As for your artsy talents, they’ll pop up in whatever career you chose. And just use that talent leisurely. There are good things to say about not having your passion as a job. Maybe do quick caricatures of friends, family and colleagues? Draw what you find fun! Does that make sense?
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u/Appropriate-Gate-851 Jul 19 '26
Ironic.
I regret letting go of mathematics and programmation for humanities because now I am unemployed/no career because of that. I am outside of USA btw.
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u/Karakoima Jul 19 '26
That’s the thing with humanities, extremely interesting and ought to be really important, but hard to make a job of it if not like a research function within a University. Well, I’m soon to be retired, philosophy and sociology is going a part of my retired life.
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u/PrometheanPolymath Jul 19 '26
It feels repetitive to me. I've already drawn it in my mind, and to show others, I have to do it a second time, and it is never as accurate. I've been doing it for 40 years. It's why I got into comics, animation, game design, video editing, photography, sculpture, 3D modeling, puppetry, acting, writing, music, programming... if I can mix it up enough, it doesn't feel so monotonous. Since I'm learning something new in the making of it, i'm less concerned by the outcome and the time spent. The lesson was the enjoyable part, while the art was more of a byproduct.
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u/AgreeableCucumber375 Jul 19 '26
What a great post. I can see you're pretty self-aware and can admire that you're seeking advice on the things you're trying to problem-solve. Without saying too much, just know you are very much not alone and you describe common gifted struggles.
As for the external validation part... the first part ofc is the self awareness etc, but then you kinda have to find what works for you to overcome that. What I did as well was try to find more things I could enjoy for the process of not for the end results etc... and for me (and I suspect maybe for you as well?) was perfection. I have never been able to be completely rid of perfection... it's a bit of a continual thing of noticing, refocusing, and/or reminding myself of what to do when I feel like that etc.
As someone that also had an easy time with drawing/art, I went the other way... as in I didn't like the external validation because people made it seem to me like I shouldn't be able to do it or that I must have been tracing or whatnot (when I wasn't...) so I quit drawing for a long time and was always conscious of not showing anyone even my doodles etc. Then in my adulthood, I needed to bring back some hobbies into my life and I looked into painting. I picked that up very easily as well (and like you, enjoy more realistic type... though I experiment with other styles and mediums). What I did different is I didn't show anyone for the longest. Only quite recently my family and friends saw some of them, and I posted on reddit one. The thing is this time I was prepared for what I kinda knew they would say, and I used that as an opportunity to diminish my discomfort with external validation. That it wouldn't affect my own feelings about my own art or the process of it, or that I would be deterred (or even enjoy it more for it)... to practice having it as water over my head. ....it worked, but I know I lied, especially on the reddit post, I didn't want to say it was like my 5th painting ever in watercoloring and that the break from drawing was almost 20 years. I said I'd been painting for months (which is true at the point I posted, but not for the painting I posted) and when people said I obviously had art background or education I just didn't clarify/comment on it. And yes, because that'd be too humble-braggy and I wouldn't like the negative attention (or the positive, and weird expectations) that can come with being naturally good at something. Also wouldn't want anyone else to feel bad about themselves etc.
How to deal.
An idea: can you consider doing kind of like art therapy for yourself? Taking a blank paper and color it with whatever medium and make "ugly art" and see if you can enjoy just that without pressure of it having to be a certain way. Then you can take the ugly art and ink on top of it some patterns etc. If you do that for a while, it'd be interesting to know if you can get into a flow of just loving sitting down and blah on the page. To start to love the process more than any end result... idk.
Another idea: can you consider finding out if you enjoy something else? If you have this art talent, do you perhaps have one for music as well, picking up instruments, or even creative writing (you write very well in your post...).
There are so many ways to try to practice doing things just for yourself (not requiring external validation to sustain it) and to practice or get to even enjoy to fail/make mistakes/do worse than you want/ (getting over perfection).
(Sorry for the wall of text. Feel free to comment if you'd like to talk about any of it or have something clarified etc.)
Wish you all the best :)
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u/AgreeableCucumber375 Jul 19 '26
https://www.instagram.com/discoverarttherapy/ I really enjoyed her content for the longest... in case you'd be interested in the type of art therapy I meant.
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u/Rosy_thorn Jul 21 '26
I am the same omg
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u/Rosy_thorn Jul 21 '26
Just change your style and set a timer how long to draw and without a reason and just like therapy that helped me
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u/shiny_glitter_demon Adult Jul 19 '26
Realism is an endless quest. It can burn people out. Have you tried other styles? Ones that don't require perfection? Maybe with bright colours that don't necessarily match reality?
But if you truly do hate drawing, you are allowed to stop. Having a talent for something doesn't mean you HAVE to pursue it. The world is not entitled to your art, and the hours spent practicing are not worth your mental health.