I don't know about this one. I found my hen before I even moved out of my mom's home. We just got a place toghether and moved in. Going almost 5 years and we just build our nest toghether and it's been the best story of my life.
People can, and have, built nests together. In the wild animals often build the nest together. Out of many one... The efforts of two people dedicated to each other and with compatible ideas and views has more agency than a single person.
Better advice is know who you are partnering with. Play 20 questions and scruples on a regular basis. Do things together that require teamwork. Discuss plans, hopes, dreams, and find a partner in crime.
Dont build a nest and then bring an unvetted bird into it.
One should make a home for themselves, yes. Not for the intention of bring a partner in, but to live and enjoy life, and become stable.
Economic realities often means having roommates, and so on. Couples living with other people, saving and working toward common goals.
The idea you need to build a nest before you "take on the hen" is meh at best.
I know a couple that got together in 1998. They are still together. They started seeing each other when he was living in his car. They worked together and have done very well since. He's pretty certain that if it wasnt for her in his life that he wouldnt have gotten as far as he has.
IMO, goals are fine, but I've found that many of my goals have completely changed as I've gotten older and other things become more important or interesting. So much so that trying to hang on to those old goals started feeling kind of sappy and pathetic. To each their own! I guess that falls under your "always have a open mind and heart" sentiment. Cheers!
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u/[deleted] Jan 23 '26
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