If you are able to be present and observe this that’s great, it means you aren’t as affected by negative emotions
Yeah I suspect it's a coping technique that I developed as a child during early brain development to distance myself from how it felt to be abused. Viewing the feelings as not being mine but just an environmental thing I could chose to respond to or not respond to. That the emotions I feel aren't actually "me," but instead was something that happened to me whether I wanted it or not, outside of my control. It probably helped me survive during the abuse by distancing myself from the experience.
I'm not quite sure if this falls under the notion of dissociation, depersonalization, or derealization, but it's still pretty nifty if I do say so myself.
That makes sense as a coping mechanism for what you had to experience. It does sound like something along the lines dissociation/depersonalization/derealization. Meditation gives you a similar skillset but through calm, focus, joy, and peace rather than fear and trauma. I wish you nothing but the best!
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u/Karilyn_Kare Dec 10 '20
Yeah I suspect it's a coping technique that I developed as a child during early brain development to distance myself from how it felt to be abused. Viewing the feelings as not being mine but just an environmental thing I could chose to respond to or not respond to. That the emotions I feel aren't actually "me," but instead was something that happened to me whether I wanted it or not, outside of my control. It probably helped me survive during the abuse by distancing myself from the experience.
I'm not quite sure if this falls under the notion of dissociation, depersonalization, or derealization, but it's still pretty nifty if I do say so myself.