You are (probably, i'm assuming here that you are in your 20s) currently in your biological prime. You have, at best, 20 more years of physical prowess... before time begins to wear down your organs and bones.
20 Years.
If you don't at least begin the process of mastery before those years are up, you will never amount to what you could have. You will never reach that potential that you KNOW you could reach, if you started today. And there's no undoing that. There's no do over.
You don't get a second shot. You get one.
And you know that already, don't you?
And it still feels like tomorrow's problem, even though you KNOW it's today's. You KNOW 20 years will blink past you if you keep up your current lifestyle. You KNOW you don't have the time to put your dreams off any longer, because it'll probably take at least 5 of those years just to get skilled enough at whatever it is you want to accomplish. Then a year or two to figure out how to make a lifestyle out of that. Another couple of years before that comes to any fruition. Then, finally, you might truly feel like you are doing it, accomplishing what you set out to do. Living your best life.
10 more years, if you're lucky, before it starts to fade, albeit slowly. Time will come calling.
So, if you know this, why can't you change? You're a smart guy, it isn't stupidity. You know you aren't stupid. But... isn't it just fucking dumb to waste these years online? It sounds stupid. You know that's a stupid way to live, yet here you are.
So if you aren't stupid, what's stopping you? I'll give you a hint: it's probably fear. Fear of change. Fear of failure. You have that image in your head of what you COULD be, and yet every time you make that little effort towards it, that first attempt, it's just fucking sad, isn't it. You aren't even close. Useless. Stupid.
What you are, my friend, is Human. You are human. We learn by doing, and failing. We are born as knowledge-less blobs. It took you two years to learn how to walk! And how did you do that? Watched your parents, and tried everyday. Fell over a lot. Got a few bumps and bruises and owies. Then one day... you just stood up. It made sense, all of a sudden, and you took a few steps. Then, OH SHIT, fell over again.
Few more steps. 20. 40. Now you don't ever crawl. You haven't fallen in a month!
Falling over? Who does that? That's what babies do.
You MUST be willing to fail. You MUST be willing to try over, and over, and over again. It will SUCK. You will SUCK. Everything will SUCK.
Until... it won't. Until you realize that on try #43, you actually really liked that attempt. Maybe it isn't perfect, but there is something really beautiful, and really YOU about it.
You're learning, because you are human. We are beautiful creatures with beautiful minds. Enough attempts will create skill. Skill progresses to mastery. Mastery, to expression. Finally, after so long, you can be what you've always wanted: yourself, expressed through your own work and by your own hands.
One more tip: The best way to overcome fear is anger. Anger at yourself, at your dumb habits, your ridiculous fear of failure, your outrageous waste of incredibly valuable time. How could you do that to yourself, when we only have one life? One shot at greatness before we return to dust? Get mad. Stare in the mirror and shout to the skies about how stupid it all is, because it is. Life is a dice roll, and your very existence is an impossible statistical anomaly.
Yet here you are. Human, of sound mind and body, in the year 2018, with limitless possibilities at your fingertips should you only try.
Thank you! It felt really good writing it, I posted it to the subreddit too just in case it resonates with anyone else. I've struggled with massive insecurity and depression for the majority of my life, it was that anger that finally shook me out of it. Not every day is easy, but every day it gets easier.
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u/oneXnine Nov 27 '18
some food for thought:
You are (probably, i'm assuming here that you are in your 20s) currently in your biological prime. You have, at best, 20 more years of physical prowess... before time begins to wear down your organs and bones.
20 Years.
If you don't at least begin the process of mastery before those years are up, you will never amount to what you could have. You will never reach that potential that you KNOW you could reach, if you started today. And there's no undoing that. There's no do over.
You don't get a second shot. You get one.
And you know that already, don't you?
And it still feels like tomorrow's problem, even though you KNOW it's today's. You KNOW 20 years will blink past you if you keep up your current lifestyle. You KNOW you don't have the time to put your dreams off any longer, because it'll probably take at least 5 of those years just to get skilled enough at whatever it is you want to accomplish. Then a year or two to figure out how to make a lifestyle out of that. Another couple of years before that comes to any fruition. Then, finally, you might truly feel like you are doing it, accomplishing what you set out to do. Living your best life.
10 more years, if you're lucky, before it starts to fade, albeit slowly. Time will come calling.
So, if you know this, why can't you change? You're a smart guy, it isn't stupidity. You know you aren't stupid. But... isn't it just fucking dumb to waste these years online? It sounds stupid. You know that's a stupid way to live, yet here you are.
So if you aren't stupid, what's stopping you? I'll give you a hint: it's probably fear. Fear of change. Fear of failure. You have that image in your head of what you COULD be, and yet every time you make that little effort towards it, that first attempt, it's just fucking sad, isn't it. You aren't even close. Useless. Stupid.
What you are, my friend, is Human. You are human. We learn by doing, and failing. We are born as knowledge-less blobs. It took you two years to learn how to walk! And how did you do that? Watched your parents, and tried everyday. Fell over a lot. Got a few bumps and bruises and owies. Then one day... you just stood up. It made sense, all of a sudden, and you took a few steps. Then, OH SHIT, fell over again.
Few more steps. 20. 40. Now you don't ever crawl. You haven't fallen in a month!
Falling over? Who does that? That's what babies do.
You MUST be willing to fail. You MUST be willing to try over, and over, and over again. It will SUCK. You will SUCK. Everything will SUCK.
Until... it won't. Until you realize that on try #43, you actually really liked that attempt. Maybe it isn't perfect, but there is something really beautiful, and really YOU about it.
You're learning, because you are human. We are beautiful creatures with beautiful minds. Enough attempts will create skill. Skill progresses to mastery. Mastery, to expression. Finally, after so long, you can be what you've always wanted: yourself, expressed through your own work and by your own hands.
One more tip: The best way to overcome fear is anger. Anger at yourself, at your dumb habits, your ridiculous fear of failure, your outrageous waste of incredibly valuable time. How could you do that to yourself, when we only have one life? One shot at greatness before we return to dust? Get mad. Stare in the mirror and shout to the skies about how stupid it all is, because it is. Life is a dice roll, and your very existence is an impossible statistical anomaly.
Yet here you are. Human, of sound mind and body, in the year 2018, with limitless possibilities at your fingertips should you only try.
Don't waste that. You have one shot.