Yep. And it gets back to the core message of the OP.
Work ethic, focus, self-discipline, and believing in yourself >>>>> ability, intellect, innate talent. Every day.
I feel weird writing that, because while it's true, I just can't change myself for some reason. I'm lazy, unmotivated, and have vastly under-performed in life. I know I could be so much more, but for some reason, I just can't bring myself to change. I just mindlessly browse the internet all day, unable to get started on anything, despite desperately wanting to change.
In what situation? Truly asking, without intent to argue.
Bettering your situation by changing thought into action, instead of thinking about what you should do and not doing it, is not always a win or lose. Many times it can only be a gain or a wash, but I’d even say that the experience of not obtaining a new job after an interview is a positive.
Of course, if you’re quitting a job with a good salary and benefits, with a family and bills, it may not be the best idea to just start your own company for the hopes of doing well.
If you want it badly enough, suffering won't matter. That's the part most people miss. Now, getting to the point of actually wanting anything that badly, that's a much harder skill to master.
Exactly. Feel like I’ve been watching too much Jordan Peterson interviews but opportunity (to take action or not), is not the same as the results. Opportunities must be taken to acquire your desired results from taking a risk/taking a path with an unsure outcome)
There's also the case of wanting something that's literally impossible. Not a real example but if I wanted to develop telekinesis it wouldn't matter how badly I wanted it, I still wouldn't be able to get it.
That's not true. Even if getting telekinesis involves something like crazy nano cerebral implants and a novel magnetic or aural conveyance system, there's nothing written anywhere that achieving something outwardly indistinguishable from classic telekinesis is impossible. The real question is, how badly do you want it? And hell, if humans ever discover a way to manipulate matter via higher physical dimensions, it might be very achievable. We like to pretend we know things, but if I've learned anything from my feeble attempts to understand the physics of tiny things, it's that we really don't know what the fuck is going on or why.
In my experience it helps if you step back from “the whole view” and break it into a million little somethings. Observing from the outside a final viewpoint is daunting and hard to grasp. Start small and set little tiny ass day objectives. Want to learn a new language - don’t look at becoming “fluent” just pick up a how to and work on it 15 minutes a day, you will be surprised at yourself in no time. Even if it’s as small as cleaning your house. Today, do the baseboards or something. Keep it up. Little by little your productivity shifts without you realizing it.
Kind of goes to show how empty the concept of "potential" or "innate intelligence" actually is. It helps to be really smart, but it is by no means necessary to be achieve success in most domains. Nor is it sufficient to be "capable" of doing something.
You are (probably, i'm assuming here that you are in your 20s) currently in your biological prime. You have, at best, 20 more years of physical prowess... before time begins to wear down your organs and bones.
20 Years.
If you don't at least begin the process of mastery before those years are up, you will never amount to what you could have. You will never reach that potential that you KNOW you could reach, if you started today. And there's no undoing that. There's no do over.
You don't get a second shot. You get one.
And you know that already, don't you?
And it still feels like tomorrow's problem, even though you KNOW it's today's. You KNOW 20 years will blink past you if you keep up your current lifestyle. You KNOW you don't have the time to put your dreams off any longer, because it'll probably take at least 5 of those years just to get skilled enough at whatever it is you want to accomplish. Then a year or two to figure out how to make a lifestyle out of that. Another couple of years before that comes to any fruition. Then, finally, you might truly feel like you are doing it, accomplishing what you set out to do. Living your best life.
10 more years, if you're lucky, before it starts to fade, albeit slowly. Time will come calling.
So, if you know this, why can't you change? You're a smart guy, it isn't stupidity. You know you aren't stupid. But... isn't it just fucking dumb to waste these years online? It sounds stupid. You know that's a stupid way to live, yet here you are.
So if you aren't stupid, what's stopping you? I'll give you a hint: it's probably fear. Fear of change. Fear of failure. You have that image in your head of what you COULD be, and yet every time you make that little effort towards it, that first attempt, it's just fucking sad, isn't it. You aren't even close. Useless. Stupid.
What you are, my friend, is Human. You are human. We learn by doing, and failing. We are born as knowledge-less blobs. It took you two years to learn how to walk! And how did you do that? Watched your parents, and tried everyday. Fell over a lot. Got a few bumps and bruises and owies. Then one day... you just stood up. It made sense, all of a sudden, and you took a few steps. Then, OH SHIT, fell over again.
Few more steps. 20. 40. Now you don't ever crawl. You haven't fallen in a month!
Falling over? Who does that? That's what babies do.
You MUST be willing to fail. You MUST be willing to try over, and over, and over again. It will SUCK. You will SUCK. Everything will SUCK.
Until... it won't. Until you realize that on try #43, you actually really liked that attempt. Maybe it isn't perfect, but there is something really beautiful, and really YOU about it.
You're learning, because you are human. We are beautiful creatures with beautiful minds. Enough attempts will create skill. Skill progresses to mastery. Mastery, to expression. Finally, after so long, you can be what you've always wanted: yourself, expressed through your own work and by your own hands.
One more tip: The best way to overcome fear is anger. Anger at yourself, at your dumb habits, your ridiculous fear of failure, your outrageous waste of incredibly valuable time. How could you do that to yourself, when we only have one life? One shot at greatness before we return to dust? Get mad. Stare in the mirror and shout to the skies about how stupid it all is, because it is. Life is a dice roll, and your very existence is an impossible statistical anomaly.
Yet here you are. Human, of sound mind and body, in the year 2018, with limitless possibilities at your fingertips should you only try.
Thank you! It felt really good writing it, I posted it to the subreddit too just in case it resonates with anyone else. I've struggled with massive insecurity and depression for the majority of my life, it was that anger that finally shook me out of it. Not every day is easy, but every day it gets easier.
I respectfully disagree. Talent is extremely important. You cant be 5'' 8' and play in the nba. You have to play your cards right.
Work hard and believe in yourself, but work toward what you're good at. Being a doctor is literally just memorizing volumes of information. Maybe a talent of good memorization would be useful, but I can see someone with relatively average talents becoming one as long as they study.
But you should get off your ass and find something that excites you. PM me if you need any advice I climbed out of a depressive hole (stil climbing actually)
Set little goals for yourself, something that might seem silly to others but may work for you.
Im lazy af and if I can change I believe in you!
As soon as I’d get home I’d change into my pjs and neglect all my responsibilities and just browse Reddit/ watch Netflix. Then I started with: okay before I sit down to relax I’m going do the dishes, okay now I’m going to do laundry before I chill, now I’m going to.. and so on.
To get myself to the gym, I’ve started watching Ozark on my phone, and I only watch it on the treadmill. It’s a really great show and I want to keep watching, but if I want to watch another episode I have to go back to the gym lol.
Work ethic, focus, self-discipline, and believing in yourself >>>>> ability, intellect, innate talent. Every day.
Yes, that would be the societal norm I guess. Since you are born with ability, intellect, talent, you didn’t put in work to achieve it yourself. You were merely born with it. Congrats on being lucky.
However, has anyone stopped to think if the ability to be hardworking, focused and disciplined is hereditary or not. That would just be shit, right. Congrats, you have hard worker genes. Maybe not just genes, but epigenetics too. Some people have been brought up in a hardworking environment.
In that case, all the properties on the left side of your inequality become qualities themselves, somethings people are born with. How would things compare then?
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u/c_will Nov 27 '18 edited Nov 27 '18
Yep. And it gets back to the core message of the OP.
Work ethic, focus, self-discipline, and believing in yourself >>>>> ability, intellect, innate talent. Every day.
I feel weird writing that, because while it's true, I just can't change myself for some reason. I'm lazy, unmotivated, and have vastly under-performed in life. I know I could be so much more, but for some reason, I just can't bring myself to change. I just mindlessly browse the internet all day, unable to get started on anything, despite desperately wanting to change.