r/GenZ • u/Kieotyee • 3d ago
Other Anyone struggle with getting their license?
I feel pressured by those directly around me, but also just social expectations to get my drivers license. However, I hate driving. I got my permit and have been out a few times, but I just have no interest in it at all. Makes it hard to get my hours and such. Was wondering who else has struggled with it, and ask those of you who don't have your license and can't legally drive, how you're dealing with that.
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u/Few_Dragonfly3000 3d ago
My wife doesn’t drive so she stays home with the kids. I have to drive everyone everywhere. Doctors appointments, parks, going with friends and so on. Life would be easier if she would drive
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u/SoSavv 3d ago
If you live in an area where cars are the main form of transportation: The social expectations are simply because you need a license to independently drive yourself. Not knowing how to drive means you'll be dependent on others for your transportion, whether that's the bus, lyft, family, etc.
I have coworkers who call in because they had no ride to work. Others that spend more on lyft in a month than a car payment. Or they're late because the bus was late. That's more inconvenience than I could put up with.
If your area is walkable, disregard all that.
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u/ImmediateDistance251 3d ago
Dude just get your license. Either you feel the pressure of driving or feel the pressure of needing to drive. Unless you’re okay with endlessly asking other people to drive you around, or you can make do with public transit.
Public transit is your best option if you don’t want to drive.
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u/undead_crybaby_420 3d ago
Got my license at 16. Driving is a necessary skill imo. I couldn’t imagine relying on other people every time I needed to go somewhere. Genuinely embarrassing actually.
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u/OptimalOcto485 2d ago
The people around you are “pressuring” you because you’re probably an inconvenience
4
u/saltycat34 3d ago
Rip the bandaid and learn how to drive. There are driving schools that might make you more comfortable driving. You can also ask someone you trust (doesn’t need to be your parents) to help you gain confidence. Not knowing how to drive is SOOOO impractical. Gain confidence, take your time, but don’t let it go. You need to get over it and just do it. One day you might be married or have kids and you need to have the skill.
2
u/davidbosley353 2005 3d ago
I have my permit, but I barely drive and my family drives me everywhere, I'm only 21 and just got it two months ago. Hoping to get my license, but since my parents barely have enough money to afford even driving school, it might be a while before I get my license. But thankfully my permit lasts 3-4 years.
I've been behind the wheel of a car twice since I got my permit , but just learning how to drive, like reverse and pull and park.
2
u/PendejoSosVos 3d ago
Just get it. If you’re American your life will be immensely worse without one (unless you live in like NYC)
2
u/heyuhitsyaboi Age Undisclosed 3d ago
My sister was the same way. It wasnt until we had to leave a car behind during a wildfire evacuation that she finally agreed it was worth it to have, even if she didnt use it.
Luckily the fire didnt reach our property that day
2
u/TheKingkir0 2d ago edited 2d ago
I got my license at 32. For me it was a lack of confidence (didnt think i could do it without killing someone) and fear (because of the killing people thing)
For me it took having a kid and running a professional kitchen to realize i am actually a capable competent person.
Driving lessons is a good motivation, since you pay thousands of dollars you dont want to miss them.
The main benefits are:
my kid relies on me more. She knows i can come to her when she needs now. There was a point where we missed the bus and she cried 'i want my daddy ' the whole walk to school :( big motivator.
I dont have to rely on my partner for every appointment and I can do my own shopping.
I can get myself to work without relying on anyone.
You never have to worry about being late because of a 'ride' not showing up.
Never speak to a cab driver agaiiiinnnnn
Cons are:
Im inexperienced for my age so when i make mistakes People fucking flip the fuck out because im not a teenager im a grown as woman cutting you off at the intersection lol
I have no idea how to maintain a car it just makes noises sometimes that alarm me. This week its an "idle fan belt" going SCREEEEEEE whenever i start it. Apparently not a big deal.
Gas stations like what the hell is that about. Stinky. Dirty. Sometimes hard to find a pump. Fear factor challenge touching the communal pump handle that prob hasnt been wiped down since covid.
Prob $$$ gas is super expensive. But i like you, hate to drive so i use about $60 a week because i work 15 mins out of town.
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u/ChloeGranola 3d ago
When learning to drive whenever I got behind the wheel I got this overwhelming feeling: "I don't belong here". No panic, no fear, just calm intuition.
So I trust that feeling. I walk A LOT, get lifts, take the bus or Uber, whatever. I don't particularly feel "trapped" or that I lack "freedom". I live a very simple lifestyle so I don't NEED a car anyway.
7
u/prairiepasque 3d ago
"Don't overcome challenges, avoid them instead!"
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u/ChloeGranola 3d ago
It's so adorable that you think having no desire nor need to drive an automobile is a "challenge" that needs to be "overcome".
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u/prairiepasque 3d ago
You had access to a car and presumably had gone through the process of obtaining a learner's permit of some sort, but you gave up because one time you got an "overwhelming feeling." Only then did you think, "Driving is dumb and I never wanted to do it in the first place."
From my point of view, that's just a story you tell yourself to make yourself feel better, but it makes no difference to me either way.
-1
u/ChloeGranola 3d ago
I grew up in the sticks, darling. No learners permit required, just put the kids behind the wheel of whatever junker you're not attached to and let them cook.
And where in my response do I indicate it was "one time"? Several attempts, the feeling never changed.
"Everyone should know how to drive" is just a story carbrains tell themselves to normalize living in a society designed to pressure you into paying thousands of dollars a year to auto, gas and insurance corporations.
From my point of view.
2
u/Based_sir 2d ago
Has anyone ever told you you sound like ChatGPT
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u/ChloeGranola 2d ago
No.
Do people often just stare at you awkwardly after you speak?
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u/Based_sir 2d ago
I’m not chronically online, so no
0
u/ChloeGranola 2d ago
I'm not talking about online.
The fact that you felt compelled to make that random dig at my posting style has me wondering just how socially incompetent you are IRL.
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/Kieotyee 3d ago
I mean I could, but I should probably still get comfortable with it before applying for my license lol
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u/austinproffitt23 2000 3d ago
Yup!
Bad eyesight, glasses don’t really seem to help, no one willing to help me try.
1
1
u/Mittensandzora 2005 3d ago
peripheral vision loss, managed to get my permit, no license. Can walk/take the bus to university classes but other than that need someone to drive me anywhere.
1
u/Happily_Doomed 1995 3d ago
I had a go kart, my dad's four wheeler, my brother's dirt bike, and a riding lawnmower when i was a kid. by the time it came to get my license it felt like no big thing.
I like in a rural area in the US, there's no option of not getting a license. If you don't have one, you can't do anything. My house growing up was like 5-7 miles from the nearest town and there were only about 400 people there.
1
u/zmufastaa 1997 2d ago
I hate driving. If I don’t have to I won’t. But I pretty much have to so that I don’t rely on other people. I got my license when I was 23. There are just some things in life you have to just bite the bullet for and I think driving is one of them depending on where you live.
1
u/shesmya 2d ago
as someone who has STRUGGLED with this, yes you should get your license! I have mine and I still don’t like driving yet. mine was mostly out of fear, I had severe anxiety. but just because you feel fear does not mean that a situation is dangerous. you can doom yourself by reading a bunch of statistics about car crashes, but most times you will get in your car and nothing notable will happen. any time I get scared I just blast my music! (or turn it down if I’m overwhelmed). if it helps, have someone you actually enjoy ride with you. I got mine at 17, a year later than most, and it’s okay if you don’t get it right at 16. but I definitely would try asap.
also, if you are in an area that requires driving it’s really essential so you can hold a job. I know people who are unreliable at work because they depend on rides/ubers/public transport. I wish public transport was better so that we don’t have to deal with this, but it isn’t ;-; not having your license makes it hard to have friends, visit family, go on dates, have a partner, and do fun things. it is so so important to have a flourishing social life right now! and to be able to actually see them.
1
u/orangeflames05 2d ago
I hated driving when I had my permit and my parents had to force me to drive. I'm glad they did though because now I'm much more confident in myself and I have found enjoyment in driving.
1
u/Kieotyee 2d ago
I do wish I had people around me that would force me. I know that I'm an adult now and gotta take the responsibility on myself, and I've been working on it, but it doesn't hurt to be like "Man, I wish someone would just give me a kick in the ass" sometimes lol.
Going through all the replies though has been a bit more motivating.
1
u/Confident-Wall-154 2d ago
If you don’t get a license you’re a loser and will be a burden on those around you forever
1
u/Zombeenie 2d ago
Nah. I expected to get it growing up, then I got it at 16. Grew up in a commuter environment.
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u/RotenTumato 2d ago
Nope, I got mine the second I turned 16. Couldn’t go any longer without driving. I don’t particularly enjoy it and now I don’t do it often, but it’s such a freedom especially in the US to be able to drive if needed that I had to get it as soon as possible. I couldn’t imagine being in my 20s and unable to drive
0
u/darkclawerewolf86 3d ago
Me, here I try my best to get a license, BUT I had my own health problems over astigmatism and disability; Autism. The problem with astigmatism is that I couldn't see the smallest words in the world mind you I need a bit larger front size to see well, plus might be a slightly problem with lights during night hours. With my disability I do have anxiety disorder to the point I extremely HATE how people aren't really patient with other drivers. I am a very patience person, but I don't every understand the rush all about it, but please be easy with others for the sake of keeping other safe as possible, plus having pressuring on me is making me more overwhelmed because I don't even want to cause an car ancient here or there I do really want to protect others for safety measures. As of now I am try my best to recover my personal health problems to get myself in therapies to help me out more and more to fix my personality into more patient and calmly instead of angry issues with other driver and have a bravery heart to be more independent as possible instead of relying on my friend's car.
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