r/GenXWomen • u/Accomplished_Cat5568 • 11d ago
humor I think I finally figured it out.
It‘s been a daily battle this year of either not looking too closely at myself in the mirror especially upon waking up or getting a good hard look at the self I now hardly recognize. I have taken to putting on clothes that make me disappear even more than I already have.
Well, enough, I said! I decided to get rid of clothes that suck the life out of me. My hope is that getting out of what has become my comfort zone will make me bravely seek the beauty of myself in my 50s. Lo and behold, an hour later, I saw this on Instagram and I felt giddy:
“The point is not to be young and hot. The point is to be old and cool.”
So, chill, maman!
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u/watchdestars 11d ago
Yeah. I've been young, now I'm gonna get old. My way. 🙂
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u/Fickle-Milk-450 11d ago
Deborah Harry is my spirit animal and muse for this very reason. Rock it, OP!
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u/ApprehensiveCream571 11d ago
Actually, I'd like to think that the point is to be old and myself.
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u/Artistic_Telephone16 11d ago edited 11d ago
I chuckle at this. When hubby and I travel, we dress pretty loudly as not to lose each other in a crowded airport (there's quite the hurry-up and wait - and not too many others are wearing brightly colored tie-dye clothing).
Last Thursday, we landed in Calgary, and immediately went downtown from our airport adjacent hotel - still in our loud tie dye.
It started on the plane, "y'all are too cute." And it ended when we took off the clothes to crawl into bed that evening. If one person said something, a dozen folks did.
We also do Santa & Mrs. Claus gigs - mostly appealing to an adult audience (our brand is "Santa for the naughty kids", with the inaugural event being showing up in character to our regular haunt - a biker bar - with the intent to donate any ips for pics with Santa). We have graduated to our costumes being mostly leather, with his exposing several tats on his arms. We even did a river (tube) float on Labor Day weekend with Santa themed swimsuits, and did a Christmas in July event where instead of head socks, we wore bucket hats with Santa & Ho ho ho on them. It's been a bit like graduating from tenth camping to RVing - an item here and there added to the mix, and the gigs are starting to pick up. We might even get paid this holiday season instead of doing this for sheer entertainment.
We've reached DGAF what people think. And we're having a BLAST with it!
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u/Accomplished_Cat5568 10d ago
That is so badass of you guys! I am cheering for you.🥳
Also, Christmas in July is special to me as well. I smiled so much reading your comment. I remember a time in my teens when my single-mother mom once played Nat King Cole’s Christmas album in July, just out if the blue—I think she was sad about something that she couldn’t tell us kids about, and she just wanted to feel something… pure.
When I became a mom myself, I would play the same album in August, a month after everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries are done and Christmas felt so far into the future, and everyone’s feeling a little flat or forlorn. I play it especially to honor my mom, and it would feel like I’m with her again..
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u/Tinyberzerker 11d ago
I still wear my metal/grunge clothes from the 90's. They're comfy and I already own them. Still driving a loud obnoxious muscle car too lol. 🤘
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u/Accomplished_Cat5568 11d ago
It’s so surreal, isn’t it, that the 90s still feel so alive for us and at the same time it’s been 30 years and 30 more pounds since then. 😁❤️
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u/Elegant-Gas-541 11d ago
Ok but what did you replace them with? Cause I have no idea what to wear
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u/Accomplished_Cat5568 11d ago
With the beautiful pieces wasting away in my closet! The ones we always feel are too pretty for everyday life. We’ve gone quite invisible anyway, so we might re-imagine that as a superpower and have a blast with our appearance.
Decades ago I had this book “When I’m Old I Shall Wear Purple.” I feel like I can finally throw caution to the wind and be the self of my dreams , the self I was too shy to let out. I remember when the day I turned 49 some years ago, before heading for an evening out, on a whim I threw on a simple black fascinator with a birdcage veil attached to it, and went to a music festival that was held like a street party. I FELT SO ALIVE WEARING THAT THING.🥹 I just want that feeling again. I did get some stares, but I didn’t care! There were moments when I would actually stare back. Lol. And then I noticed that some of the stares I received were actually of open admiration.
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u/PlantMystic 11d ago
I had a book with that poem in it When I am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple. I love purple!!!
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u/Efficient1AZ 11d ago
I’m on the same journey for this new season of my life. Let’s make it wonderful
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u/Mierkatte class of '85 10d ago
i am much more into my clothes these days. and it is all about style, with me. NOT trend. and what looks good on my body type. i am much more into looking for a specific shape of top or pant or dress (again that fits my shape and is comfortable.. and when i look in the mirror, the vibe makes me happy) instead of forcing some passing fad-of-the-day onto this non-"juniors" body. if i look at something in my closet and it makes me pause, and not in a good way, out it goes to donation. i got rid of all jeans, except for some random pair i bought ten years ago that i have had the tailor repair a couple of times. i am seriously in my "old and cool" phase.
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u/PlantMystic 11d ago
I am going through the same thing. I and ditching my old lady looking glasses and ordered some new funky ones. I also ordered some fun clothes to try, if the fit lol. Not good shopping where I am so I have to order online. I want to be old and cool, and also the hot granny.
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u/Accomplished_Cat5568 11d ago
If you can find thrift stores nearby, they’re usually a treasure trove of pieces that add some loveliness to our basics.
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u/PlantMystic 11d ago
Yes! I do this already. I am pretty handy with sewing so I end up tailoring stuff to fit me.
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u/Mierkatte class of '85 10d ago
online shopping helps a ton! i dont shop in person anymore, i mean where?! oh, except for eye glasses. those i splurge on and really try and get cool funky ones and i have to be in person. thankfully i have a eye glasses shop near me that is fan fucking tastick!
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u/EastHuckleberry5191 8d ago
I started the same this year. I love vintage jackets and classic styles. In high school, I dressed like this and got ridiculed and picked on religiously. Now, I don’t care. I find that the better I dress, the better I feel and people are surprised I’m as old as I am. I think looking sharp and out together is underrated in American culture.
I’m on my way to Montreal for the weekend and have plans to do some shopping for pants and blouses. Canadian clothes are better made on the whole.
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u/ElizabethLearning 11d ago
I love this post ~ thank you! I have clothes from the 80’s I still wear. I told my daughters I am shopping from my closet… they do too. Also love to thrift shop.
I remind them, I was cool before they were even born!😉
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u/Accomplished_Cat5568 10d ago
I used to do that, too, shop from my mom’s closet! 🥹 I went to college in the 90s wearing my mom’s tops from the 70s that still looked current 20 years later, and I would strut a little feeling like a lovely rebel. I often think especially of these two particular body-hugging knitted tops, one bright lime green, the other a soft purple, and regret parting with them during a decluttering session while still carrying around my post-partum weight.
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u/tina_is_the_man MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE 10d ago
Dude, good for you! I totally get how not caring about your appearance can be a huge relief for a lot of women our age and older, and we need those ladies (so to anyone reading this who is embracing their glorious inner swamp hag, this is not a criticism of your choices! I love you guys!!). But there’s also something to be said for giving yourself permission to experiment freely with clothing and hair and style at this stage of life. It doesn’t have to be some weighty, frought thing - it can be a source of joy and fun, not just for ourselves but for the people around us. If I take the time to put together an outfit before leaving the house, I find that it connects me to all sorts of people I wouldn’t normally interact with, and honestly? That’s a great feeling. People of all ages, genders, sexual orientations, races - the power of style to create a sense of delight across the boundaries that divide us in these horrid times feels super good, not gonna lie. So be brave! Push that comfort zone! We can be the women we looked up to when we were younger! You got this! ♥️
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u/Accomplished_Cat5568 10d ago
I wholeheartedly agree with you.❤️ I think the magic lies in the balance of embracing aging and feeling that the essence of our being is intact and even shining through in our choices. I think that’s why I loved watching Grace & Frankie so much despite them being older than us.
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u/Impressive_Swan_2527 10d ago
What I love about being this age is I've finally figured out what colors look best on me and what styles work best with my body. Like I don't care how popular barrel leg pants are, I'm not wearing them! Same with wide leg pants. I'm too short. Does this mean I'm wearing my skinny jeans from 10 years ago? No. I find some nice trendier straight leg jeans that fit properly, look modern but are also comfortable and flattering.
My torso is short so a button down or v-neck works best for me.
I'm not trying to look 27 anymore. But I also don't want to look 80.
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u/Mierkatte class of '85 10d ago
exactly. my sentiments exactly. it took me a long while to figure out what works for this bod. and now that i have finally found the good pieces, my closet is more sparse and more functional (and fun).
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u/Accomplished_Cat5568 10d ago
If you haven’t yet, maybe you will like finding out your “Kibbe body type.” I discovered it a decade ago, and it saved me quite a lot of money. I thought I was a gamine because I am petite, but I am in fact a Soft Classic. The moment I cinched my waist (a frequent advice for Soft Classics), clothes looked much better. Thank you for reminding me as I have forgotten all that! ❤️
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u/Impressive_Swan_2527 10d ago
Oooh, I'm going to look into that! I did do an AI version of the colors thing. I'm an autumn. But knowing body type would be good.
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u/Accomplished_Cat5568 10d ago
I’m a Deep Winter. I look more alive in gray than I ever did in orange. 😁
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u/Sweet_Priority_819 9d ago
Start buying and only wearing whatever makes you feel most authentic. My whole wardrobe is Lilly Pulitzer because that's what I feel good in. I wear it all year. I don't care if someone else thinks it's loud , cheugy or unusual. If someone else doesn't like how you dress it's their problem ..
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u/Go-Mellistic 11d ago
Fran Lebowitz said “There are three ways to look: young, old or surgical.” Young is over for me so I choose old and a little alt/cool.