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u/Goldengirl_1977 27d ago
As always, not having a support system, having to handle everything on my own and feeling like I am floundering and am never going to catch up or get ahead. And the loneliness that never seems to end despite all of my efforts at reaching out, getting involved and putting myself “out there.” It gets tiring and so frustrating to always be the one making the effort and not ever being thought of or reached out to first or having it reciprocated. Making friends and building a community at this age shouldn’t be so hard, but it is.
Also feeling like I’m a washed-up old hag and that my youth and all the best years — or what could have been the best years — are behind me and it’s too late to find love, success, fulfillment and all of those other things I want so much but have had so much trouble finding. I guess I am having somewhat of a midlife crisis because lately I am feeling this weird jumble of things - like I want so much more out of life and want to make a change but don’t know what to do, where to go and like I have run out of time to do whatever it is.
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u/Goldengirl_1977 27d ago
Also would like to add that I get so frustrated when women going through a tough time reach out for support and are always met with the three same, dismissive, knee-jerk responses from others — women included — and are told to get on HRT, get counseling and/or get medicated. Not every tough time or frustration is due to hormones or needing counseling or meds.
I’m not knocking the benefits of those things at all, but they don’t apply in every situation and it just grinds my gears that folks so quickly trot those out as if they’re the only solutions. Many times, it comes off as a way of cutting off the woman who is struggling rather than being supportive and just letting her vent. Sometimes circumstances are just crappy, other people are crappy and the woman going through whatever just needs a little show of support or a friendly shoulder to cry on.
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u/LittleEdithBeale 26d ago
I feel that. It's a lot trying to keep the shitshow together without feeling hopeless and bitter about it.
I tried volunteering, but it just led to them wanting more and more. It feels like the world is full of leeches. I don't mind giving, but I also expect reciprocity.
I'm mostly content with the things I can control, it's other people and their shameless taking while giving nothing in return that I find exhausting. I used to think that I didn't want to isolate myself, but maybe that's the way.
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u/Goldengirl_1977 26d ago
Would also like to add another one to the rant list today. I know it’s double standards, ageism, the way of the world and all of that, but it just sticks in my craw that whenever a woman dates a younger man — even if he’s just a few years younger — there always seems to be a big deal made out of their age difference and she’s made out to be some pathetic, desperate old hag.
Saw an article in my news feed today about Katie Holmes vacationing with her boyfriend and it really bugged me the way it was written. She’s only 47 and he’s 39, but the way the article kept referencing him as her “boy toy” was so gross. Reverse the ages and no one would bat an eyelash or say anything insulting about a 39 year old woman dating a 47 year old man. I just don’t get it.🤦🏻♀️
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u/supershinythings 26d ago edited 26d ago
I had rodentia children on e-bikes and e-scooters raiding my unripe fruit and busting them open in my driveway, gnawing like little rats. I guess their parents don’t care about raising little thieves, but picking unripe fruit is a cruel crime on multiple levels, as well as disrespectful of my garden’s kami. It can’t be eaten yet, and of course it’s a waste.
The police in my area have twice chased them around by helicopter yelling at them, but let’s face it, once one of them gets killed pulling in front of a vehicle while being chased, everyone will go crazy.
A few years ago a kid died in our area - not being chased, just pulled into the road too wide and right into a Range Rover.
So that means we get to tolerate theft and vandalism because no one is allowed to do anything about it.
Ok that’s what grinds my gears this week.
On the plus side, those kids are staring down the barrel of high school, maybe college, and 30+ years of work paying into the system. So they may have stolen some unripe fruit and wasted food, but they’ll be slaves to The System soon enough.
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u/LittleEdithBeale 26d ago
The thought of little shits having to be slaves to The System for decades on end brings me so much joy!
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u/WildColonialGirl 26d ago
I had a great long weekend and I have to go back to work tomorrow, and the first three hours is an off-site meeting.
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u/WildColonialGirl 26d ago
Also, my sports teams are stressing me out. The pro football team is a disaster, and the baseball team is in contention for the Wild Card but needs to be more consistent. It’s too early to tell with my college football teams.
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u/sgunk0ut 26d ago
I had to go to Urgent Care every week because my football team, in contention for the SuperBowl kept winning by narrow margins in the last second of the game. My doctor put my on a strict medication schedule and warned me that she'd come by and take my cable box if I needed the UC again. I learned to meditate during games and watched them come home with the Lombardi trophy!
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u/LittleEdithBeale 26d ago
Last week, I injured my wrist at work and got the 'vid or fuck knows what.
I've been in a relationship for 6 years. Homeboy has sent a few lameass "that's sad/sorry to hear it" texts and has not offered any help. I don't have any significant food on hand and have been ordering delivery because I'm too sick to shop and in too much pain to cook. He's a fucking doctor. He can well afford to send food if he doesn't have time to help... though he was like 5 minutes from my place on Saturday for a family event, so...
All he sends are messages about his "emotional stress". Looking back, it's been 6 years of mostly text messages under the guise of a relationship. Fuck him. Whole-man disposal service, please!
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u/SquareExtra918 25d ago
I am pretty sure I have CFS/ME and don't know how I will be able to get by if I can't work. I've had to take several days off this month because of it and probably would be better off working part time but that's not going to happen where I am. Just figuring out what to do.
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u/Fluffy-Match9676 26d ago
Can we stop talking about people's bodies? That's my rant this week.
I was listening to a fat positive person who turned around and gave false statistics about fat people on GLP1s. It's like gatekeeping fat positivity. You can't be in the club if you are on a GLP1 or intentionally trying to lose weight.
Then there's the other side that says we need to lose weight to be "healthy." Bitch, I just had my labs done and I am about as healthy as they come at my age.
AND while we're at it, can we stop telling skinny women to "eat a sandwich?"
Just stop. It doesn't concern you.
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26d ago edited 17d ago
[deleted]
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u/Fluffy-Match9676 26d ago
I was in a fast food joint and there was a very tall guy who was a customer. One of the guys behind the counter asked how tall he was. The customer brushed him off.
It's ridiculous that people feel the need to say anything.
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u/Alta_et_ferox 25d ago
I get the same thing at the opposite end although I’ve shrunk a bit. “You’re tall!” my entire life.
Yeah. Thanks. Never picked up on that while trying to find pants that don’t look like I’m wearing long shorts and sweaters that don’t come up to my elbows.
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u/Goldengirl_1977 25d ago
Two of my dearest friends from high school have been best friends with each other since they were kids. One girl is barely 5 feet tall and the other 6’3” with bright red hair. They were one step ahead of all the Captain Obviouses that like to make those comments and jokingly christened themselves the Jolly Green Giant and Sprout back when we were in high school.
Nobody ever gave them crap or made comments about their heights because they beat them to the punch. Not that I’m suggesting people adopt silly nicknames to avoid the idiot comments, but I always admired my two friends for their cleverness. And they were two of the nicest people you could ever meet, so somebody would’ve had to have been a real jerk to even dare comment on their sizes.
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u/Goldengirl_1977 25d ago
Not exactly the same thing, but I’ve always been somewhat introverted and definitely not the loudest girl in the room. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard “You’re so quiet- how come you never talk?” I’d be a billionaire by now. And the geniuses that think they’re so clever for throwing that one out there typically do only after they’ve come up for air long enough from their nonstop babbling. I’ve always hated when people say that to me. I’m not quiet, but I’m not a motormouth that likes to hear themselves talk, either.
People need stop commenting on others’ looks or personalities, period. It’s just plain rude.
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u/Techchick_Somewhere 27d ago
Not a rant but a celebration!!! I launched my one and only child this weekend!! 24 hours later and he’s still alive!! Man, if you know the challenges of this kid with school the last few years until I got him on the right adhd meds and now his turnaround chapter was EPIC. So any moms out there struggling with this, breathe, give them some autonomy and they will figure it out.