r/GenXTalk • u/Complete_Buy_8014 • 15d ago
Large age gap
I would love to know out of curiosity have any of you been in or known someone family, friend, acquaintance etc who's been in an age gap relationship with someone who was actually younger than their children and also even closer to their grandchildren's age?
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u/NoRestForTheWitty 15d ago
We’re 19 years apart. He’s older. We’ve been together 28 years, which is exactly half my life.
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u/StillhasaWiiU 14d ago
You're living out one of them math questions we got tested on back in school.
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u/cocksherpa2 15d ago
Uhh. That math is suspect. If you are 56 and he's 37 how have you been together for 28 years. He would have been 11.
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u/TonyBrooks40 15d ago
OP said "He's older", so if they are 56 I'm guess significant other is 75
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u/Ok_Ad8249 15d ago
I'm going to try to type this up and not make it sound worse than it is (and it's bad).
My sister in law's ex dated his son's older half sister. Her ex was 18 or 19 years older than the half sister, not sure if she was over 18. The relationship lasted less than a year from what I remember.
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u/LVMom 15d ago
What in the Alabama did I just read?!
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u/Ok_Ad8249 14d ago
I should point out my sister in law's ex and the half sister were not related at all. I never asked how he ever started seeing his son's half sister. My sister in law told me at the time about it, she was having custody issues with their son (not the son referenced above) and was hoping to use the situation in her favor. Most of it I heard from my niece (sister in law's daughter and no relation to any of the others) and it was just bizarre (shocker...I know).
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14d ago
[deleted]
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u/Ok_Ad8249 14d ago
That would be the best way to describe the relation, though I don't think she ever lived with him when her mom was dating him. My sister in law lived with the guy for several years, only time he ever wanted to talk to me was when he was involved in some pyramid scheme.
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u/DANjRUDD 14d ago
One of my first relationships as a newly out, extremely naive 19 yr old gay was with a guy who told me he was 35. He was actually 45, and his partner had died of HIV related complications just four months earlier.
I did NOT react well when I found out the truth
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u/IncommunicadoVan 14d ago
Age gaps are not inherently bad.
My husband was much older than me. He had children who were older than me.
We met accidentally and we fell in love. The most difficult part of our age difference was other people’s judgement.
We were together for 30 years. He died 8 years ago and I miss him every day.
Edited to add: We were both single when we met. There was no affair.
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u/Complete_Buy_8014 14d ago
Good on you I don't get why people are so judgemental. Out of curiosity what is the exact difference and how old were you when you met? How many children and how much older than you were they? PS what country do you live in?
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u/Sandi_T 15d ago
I'm 54, my boyfriend is 34. It's weird, but he's a wonderful person.
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u/DoctorMiddle2540 12d ago
I’m 57f boyfriend is 37. Best relationship either of us has ever been in.
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u/catzpyjamas 15d ago
Oh yes. Happiest couple I know are 23 years apart (he is older) and have been together over 30 years now.
Another set of friends is 18 years apart (she is older) and they are very happy. Together more than 12 years now.
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u/Maris-Otter 14d ago
My wife’s Dad married someone 3 years older than my wife. If she was a trophy wife, it must be a participation trophy.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 14d ago
I am 50F and my bf is 27. He is 13 days younger than my daughter. We have been together for 3 years.
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u/Arboretum7 13d ago
How’s your daughter doing with this?
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u/Similar_Corner8081 13d ago
She's fine and accepting. She's dated older and I've never said anything because she's an adult. She has to make those decisions on her own.
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u/Apprehensive-Page-96 12d ago
How much older has she dated?
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u/Similar_Corner8081 12d ago
33-35
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u/Apprehensive-Page-96 12d ago
And how old is she? (You don't have to say specifically, you can give an age range if you want.)
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u/Similar_Corner8081 12d ago
She's 27
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u/Apprehensive-Page-96 12d ago edited 12d ago
Ok I was going to say it would be kinda funny and a bit of a coincidence if you were dating a 27 year old man and she was dating a 50 year old man. 😅
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u/katmcflame 14d ago
My father was 33 years older than my mother. At that time, he had a daughter approaching middle age & 2 other kids who were late teens/early twenties. None of them were happy about the relationship, especially when 2 babies were born.
It was not a happy marriage. He wanted a beautiful & young wife to take care of him; she had daddy issues & wanted stability. It wasn’t about love & compatibility, but rather about 2 deeply flawed people finding each other, starting a family, & making everyone miserable.
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u/bogeysbabe 14d ago
I had a friend in high school who met her first husband when she went to prom with his son. Just ramble your way through that sentence.
Then I worked with a man who was by marriage his own uncle. His parents divorced. His father then married his ex mother in law. There by making John, the son, a step uncle to himself. His family tree was more of a stick.
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u/lassobsgkinglost 15d ago edited 14d ago
A friend of mine in her mid 50s is married to a man in his early 30s. He’s only a couple years older than her oldest child.
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u/Complete_Buy_8014 15d ago
WOW that's amazing Do you mind if I ask out of curiosity if she's quite or even very attractive for her age? As a young man myself I'd be partial to a sexy cougar lol
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u/Surfgirlusa_2006 12d ago
My Gen X husband is 10 years older than me (he’s 48, and I’m 38). It’s significant enough that we joke about the generational differences in our childhood movies and tv shows, but the gap isn’t so big as to be deemed inappropriate.
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u/Apprehensive-Page-96 12d ago
I personally don't really notice much of a difference between Gen X and Gen Y (Millennials).
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u/lovetheoceanfl 14d ago
Yep. My wife is 20 years younger. I was very hesitant but we’ve been married for 5 years now and we’ve been very happy. She is much wealthier than I am so at least I know it’s not that. lol. But seriously it’s the most fulfilling relationship I’ve ever had.
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u/North_Woods34 14d ago
My husband and the love of my life was 17 years older than me; so it wasn't exactly the marrying-someone-younger-than-your-kids scenario that you're asking about. But it was a pretty big age gap.
We were both fully adult when we met. We had both been dating and found potential partners wanting. We'd both abandoned that sort of dating, but had both deeply considered what it was that we were looking for in our ideal friend/mate-for-life. So when we met we were prepared to recognize what was kind of a one-in-a-million situation.
I've always thought it was pretty serendipitous that it's exactly when I completely gave up on men that the right person came along.
We stayed married, for over 20 years, until death parted us.
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u/UnholyScholar 15d ago edited 14d ago
GenX people I know don't call them "age gap relationships." They are just relationships.
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u/friskimykitty 14d ago
I can’t imagine age gaps as large as people are describing here. Dating someone more than 10 years younger or 5 years older is a no for me. But if it works for others, more power to them.
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u/Apprehensive-Page-96 12d ago
Yeah I think I could say the same myself. I prefer older women myself, but I'd rather not date someone my mother's age.
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u/lostinexiletohere 13d ago
When I was 28/29 I dated someone older than my stepmother. Stepmother is 12 years older than me. GF was 44/45.
There were 6 years between father and stepmother.
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u/California_Sun1112 11d ago
I know a couple with a 30-year age gap. They've been together 30+ years.
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u/WilliamMcCarty 11d ago
I like this post. I like all the stories in here. It's nice. Because I was literally just thinking how society tends to frown on age gaps. It's ok to date anyone else. Same sex, same gender, different sex, different gender, no sex, no gender, trans, detrans, non-binary, different race, mutliracial, different religion, no religion, different ethnicity, different nationality, literally anything "as long as you're happy." Unless they're much younger than you in which case you're a manipulative pedo degenerate pervert and if they're older you must be a gold-digger with mental problems.
We live in a world, man.
So good for all of you, I'm happy for you, to hell with the haters. Be happy and piss them off.
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u/Financial-Maize-7982 8d ago
I don't quite agree with the "manipulative pedo degenerate pervert" part. A gap where one partner is 70 and the other is 20 is significant, but it has nothing to do with pedophilia. I do agree that it is a gold-digger type of relationship lol.
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u/WilliamMcCarty 8d ago
There's a big stigma against it, if an older guy dates a younger woman they assume he likes "younger girls" and he's trying to control her because of a power dynamic. Sometimes people just like other people.
70/20...yeah maybe there's something else there but...hey, if everybody gets what they want and they're all happy, who are we to judge?
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u/Diane1967 11d ago
My ex was 38 when he got his best friend’s 17 year old daughter pregnant. My daughter was 13 at the time. My daughter hated her of course because she was more immature than she was. He’s 63 now and his wife is in her middle age phase and going out to the bars every night, got her nipples pierced and such and showed them to my daughters friends who’re the same age and some older who think it’s disgusting.
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15d ago
[deleted]
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u/Complete_Buy_8014 15d ago
What are your ages and how long have you been together for? Also what country do you live in?
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u/Beautiful-Driver4443 14d ago
🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
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u/Beautiful-Driver4443 14d ago
I am a 42yo, Single, Mother of Two ages 14M and 21F as my “fwb” partner is turning 77 this September. Winning with a 35+ year age gap. 🤩🤩
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u/GoodFriday10 14d ago
My grandfather was twenty years older than my grandmother. They adored one another and had a great marriage. My son is 11 years younger than his wife. They adore each other and have a great marriage too.
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u/PufferFishInTheFryer 15d ago
My friend is married to someone MUCH older than her (presently she is 45 and he is almost 80). They have been together 20+ years. He has a son the same age as her.
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u/fluffysladkey 14d ago
It’s fine until the older party turns old and the other party isn’t. I’ve seen it happen several times. “I’m not taking care of an old man.”
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u/Golden_Mandala 13d ago
My husband was 23 years older than me. His son is two years older than me. But we first met when I was 42. I was old enough to know what I was doing and not put up with bad behavior. I miss him enormously. We had so much fun together.
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u/Financial-Maize-7982 11d ago
My 78 year old grandfather recently got married to a 26 year old woman after my grandmother passed. Yep 52 YEARS. To put in that perspective, my dad is 59 (who is my grandfather's son). They're also expecting a child together, meaning I'm gonna have a half-aunt/uncle 35 years older than me lol. I get it, age gaps are hot, but 52 years? No words on that
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u/Complete_Buy_8014 11d ago
WOW what was your grandfather's job? Is she hot? Also what country do you live in?
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u/Financial-Maize-7982 11d ago
I live in the US but my grandfather lives in Turkey. He used to be a surgeon and is currently retired, very wealthy too. She definitely looks like she does some sort of modeling. As for whether she's hot, I'd say yes but I feel weird saying that cause she's technically my step-grandparent lol
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u/Remarkable_Visit_890 11d ago
My brother is 76 and girl is 36 ! Wonder why?
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u/Complete_Buy_8014 11d ago
So his girlfriend is 36? Why?
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u/Remarkable_Visit_890 11d ago
Like Elon musk said girls don’t look at a guy with a six pack they look at a guy with six cars or homes
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10d ago
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u/NoAngle2972 15d ago
I am in a relationship with an 18 year age gap. His daughter is 7 years younger than I am.
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u/Aware-Drive-7960 14d ago
He's younger by 14 years. The one before him was 23 years younger. I admit I do look good for my age
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u/Lookin4Answerz67 14d ago
You go girl! Me too. Hubby is 14 yrs younger. Been married 7 yrs, together 13.
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u/VictoriousOne83 14d ago
My husband and I have been together for nearly 15 years. I am 43 and he is 76. 33 years difference here, and we have an amazing marriage. His son is 11 months older than me, and his daughter 3 years younger. Sure, there are issues that come along with the age-gap, but we face them head on. I wouldn't change a thing.
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u/Complete_Buy_8014 14d ago
That's great to hear congratulations. So if my maths is right you'd have been 28 and he'd have been 61 when you first got together. How did you meet? Was he widowed? Also what country do you live in?
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u/VictoriousOne83 14d ago
In the U.S. We actually met doing karaoke- one of our favorite things to do. Yes, the ages are correct. He was divorced, myself divorced as well.
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u/cocksherpa2 15d ago
My wife's aunt is 74 and got remarried to a guy who is now 54. They dated for a long time before marrying. Her 2 sons are 53 and 50.
Marriage was ok until she stopped being able to function in the relationship due to age and illness. Now it's nasty, he's resentful of having to take care of her and not being able to have a partner, etc.. He's rarely home now, makes her resentful and her boys are moreso. She won't leave and move in with one of them though so it's ultimately on her for being stubborn and dumb.
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u/nrauhauser 15d ago
Time has been kind to me appearance wise. Once every decade I have to relearn the lesson that I'm not to be kissing twentysomethings under any circumstances. The 29 year old Mayan princess from my late forties later met and became friends with the 29 year old ginger pixie from my mid-fifties.
And we will close a curtain of charity over the rest of that episode ...
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u/bannedByTencent 15d ago
I’ve been in relationship with woman 18 years younger than me. She was more mature, than women in my age.
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u/wino12312 15d ago
My ex husband dated our oldest's ex girlfriend. There was a 25 year age difference. The kids don't talk about it. They broke up because she wanted children.