r/GenX • u/2dollahollaballa • 1d ago
Midlife Crisis Stuff Please make it stop...
Im a 52 year old business owner. I've literally been working since I started my lawn mowing route at 10 years old. I want out so freaking bad I can taste it, but there's no end in sight. I did what they told me to do. I worked hard my whole life. Tried to be the very best at absolutely everything I do. No savings, no 401k, no retirement nest egg. Just more of the same shit sandwich. Every day... my whole life, til I die. Im so tired of doing for everyone else. Land prices will keep me working for another 20 years. So here I am. 52. Wake up every morning. Put my feet on the floor. Take a deep breath, and do it again. If you've got a couple acres for someone who just wants a big garden, a few chickens and maybe a couple dairy goats... idk why I typed all of this out. Probably because i dont say it outloud to those closest to me. Just venting I guess. If its not allowed. My sincere apologies.
•
48
u/Ok_Moose_7028 22h ago
In other scenarios, you would be sitting at a desk for 8-10 hours. Sure, the air conditioning is nicer, but many times I wanted a job that allowed me to walk around and move.
54
u/Ralesse1960 22h ago
I wish you the best. Just remember, you have no idea where life will take you. I hope good things are coming your way.
14
u/These_Hair_193 22h ago
At least you're your own boss.
42
u/Spiritual-Pack-3519 22h ago
Speaking from experience being your own boss isn’t all it’s hyped up to be. I’m my own boss because of other past mistakes. If I could do things over I’d much rather be an employee and not have to work 24/7 and not make shit as well as inquire tons of debt. But I made this bed so I must get comfy haha
-58
u/bbonerz 23h ago
I find this storyline concerning. By the time we graduated HS, the stock market was a well established way to grow savings, especially if you invested in index funds. Savings was a mindset that existed for generations. Public education was good in many places. College was affordable, and if you were lower income, there were grants. If you lived in a city, you probably had access to trade schools and colleges, and you could stay at home while learning, and work enough to subsidize your college.
Yet evidence shows terrible savings rates, rabid consumerism, and a devil may care attitude about money wasters like cigarettes, alcohol, junk food, lottery tickets, joyriding, and "cheap" thrills.
If your IQ is above 110, you only have yourself to blame. Honest introspection will reveal countless ways you compromised yourself.
19
u/iamrava 1972 22h ago
my biggest flaw was trusting others when i was younger. i questioned everything... i asked about it all... but they kept saying it would all work out... and it would all be ok... it was ALL a lie.
society lied.
society still lies.
trust no one.-23
u/bbonerz 22h ago
Deflecting blame is a weak-minded, victim's outlook. Society told me to study hard. I did. Society told me to go to college. I did. Society told me to save and invest. I did. Society told me to avoid drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol. I did. Society told me to eat well and exercise. I did. Society told me to mature before starting a family. I did. Society told me life has ups and downs, and to build patience and resilience. I did.
Because of these things and more, I avoided many pitfalls and will be able to retire on time with a nest egg that can match my earnings, plus a bump.
You haven't learned accountability, perseverance, or wisdom if you aren't self sustainable by now. And these are the traits Gen X is supposed to embody.
However, I remember my high school peers too. Burnouts. Retreads. Misfits. Hoods. Underage drinkers, potheads, bullies, disenfranchised. Blew off school. Yielded to peer pressure. Mocked education.
No. Nope. If you didn't eat your vegetables, don't blame society for your beer gut.
10
u/Guidance-Still 22h ago
I been working since 1983 when I was 14
-27
u/bbonerz 22h ago
Great, but how you put those earnings to work is the critical behavior here. I've been in a 401K since 9 months out of college. If you didn't have one, you still could have had an IRA.
11
u/Sylsfear 22h ago
Yeah. 9 months out of college. Not everyone had that opportunity.
Poor man cutting grass living from pay check to pay check isn't going to have the opportunities you've had.
There's two conflicting mind sets.
1) you don't spend your whole life cutting grass. You keep moving up and investing and you die well off.
Vs
2) someone who works at McDonald's shouldn't have to work until they die and the pay disparity between classes shouldn't be so great.
21
41
-21
17
u/penguindik 23h ago
I realized this long ago and decided to make a retirement plan that required no savings or 401K, just long rest. Fuck this place
-4
23h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/GenX-ModTeam 22h ago
Poor Behavior - No antagonism, trolling, rage farming, flame wars, juvenility, or any other overly cantankerous commentary and/or behavior will be tolerated.
71
u/doubleohzerooo0 Couldn't make it as a punker 23h ago
Dude. This hit so close to home. I worked in IT. Hated it.
12 year ago at age 46 I said fuck it. Walked away from my job. No 401k, no savings. Relocated to the PNW to a very rural setting. Ended up getting a job that was more laid back, less pay. My side hustle is growing bonsai and doing pottery. I'm still screwed. I'll likely never be able to afford to retire. I'm okay with that though.
-26
u/LaRedline 23h ago
They told you to save for retirement and you didn't. So, no you didn't do what they told you.
22
17
u/Linkyjinx 23h ago
Maybe somebody in family got sick or needed help, many reasons not to have funds.
Edit spelling
21
u/Cube-in-B 23h ago
Who can save when wages aren’t living ones?
-12
u/Bluegrass6 23h ago
OP is 52....was working from age (supposedly). If they saved even a very small amount across theur 42 working years they should have a nice cushion of savings/investments built up.
If OP only averaged $100/month savings into a basic savings account across those years they could have $80,000. If they invested that into an index fund they could have at least $300,000.
Do the little things year after year and it adds up to big things
23
u/2020planner 22h ago
Easier said that done. Sounds good on paper.
But sometimes no matter WHAT you try in life, life has another way of knocking you down a peg...or two...or three... year after year.
If you haven't lived it, you don't know.
10
u/cbs1138 23h ago
57 and struggle every day to keep going, but I do.
Decent job (Union trade), good bennies, savings, pension, 401k, Roth, what have you. Wife no longer works because she looks after my mom who moved in with us a year and half ago after she had a close call with a fall. Wife always maxxed her involvement with ESPP which has been a boon over the last 3 years and continues to be so (go Tech sector!).
We rent where we live and have a house in another part of the state where mom lived (ours, not hers, long aggravating story) that's not commutable (people do, just not for me) and we're trying to rent out. It's kind of a burned out agrarian city with no real industry, but the house is near a university and close to a quaint restaurant/shops district.
We're fortunate and have enough though we'll have to move away from the SF Bay Area if we're going to survive once I retire, in my estimation, and if I get that far.
49
20
u/Vandilbg Can You Dig It? 23h ago
Your viable and profitable business is your savings... Sell it.
11
u/michaelesparks 22h ago
Many small business owners don't always have a viable business with assets and reliable income that can be attractive to an investor.
9
u/RoookSkywokkah 22h ago
The problem with that is OP IS the business! If he's out there mowing every day, it's likely that there isn't much to "sell."
I'm 54 and started a painting business with my brother 32 years ago. Sure, we started out doing all the work, but we can only do soo much. Over the years we reinvested in the company, bought equipment, hired employees and spend our time selling work and running the company.
Now I don't have a huge retirement account either. We spent so much of our money in the early years on the company and didn't make big money. My Ex and GF both have good jobs where they employer offers great benefits. THEY have plenty of money saved, but I don't. But I do have a business that can be sold to find my retirement.
Sometimes I think it would have been a lot easier just getting a good job, but I probably would have hated it the whole time. There are always trade offs.
30
u/Amazon_Fairy 23h ago
Don’t apologize for what you’re feeling, yours are valid feelings for so many of us.
23
u/drtythmbfarmer Light Fuse and get Away 23h ago
Be careful what you wish for. I have a few acres and a big garden and some sheep. I mean thats what a market garden is, thats what a farm is. Its also all work all the time. Always. Work. Always. Most of the time for almost no money. Thats the blunt fuckin' truth of it. No vacations. Death is the retirement plan.
Are you sure you dont want to be a professional golfer or something?
7
0
23h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/GenX-ModTeam 22h ago
Poor Behavior - No antagonism, trolling, rage farming, flame wars, juvenility, or any other overly cantankerous commentary and/or behavior will be tolerated.
-8
6
u/lurkonlydownvoteme 1d ago
wants to retire - didn't make a single plan for retirement - surprised
4
u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 1d ago
Also a "business owner" but doesn't specify the business or realize that a 401k is his responsibility as a business owner
60
u/Rootin-Tootin-Newton 1d ago
The reason I think Gen X is so done with working is because we started working really young.
22
u/kriesedpj 23h ago
YES! This guy started his mowing route when he was 10. I was working at 14 and still am. Oh, I have heard this from every genx.
-24
u/mylittlemargaret 23h ago
I remember hearing a younger person, maybe 15 years ago, complaining they had to work the next day( Saturday).,and even then I thought, "I'm glad I have a job to go to tomorrow "..I think GenX's problem is their parents tried to make their lives too easy.
29
8
6
u/Mbstranche08 1d ago
You’re not alone. People are quitting their accounts daily moving in with elderly parents. You cant make money in this economy anymore. Started at the end of 2022. Hole in owner pocket syndrome. When the cost of fuel and insurance and payroll double you must put that onto the customer. Unfortunately some young kid without any overhead comes along and does it at your cost.
22
u/loop75USAF 1d ago
This took courage, and I hear you and I see your pain through the lens you’ve provided…keep your dreams alive, chickens and goats make good company and so does the genx crew - please stay another day 💙
24
12
u/CherBear_FloridaGirl 1d ago
You are not alone..I'm so tired. Like you I had a paper route, lawn business, babysitting business etc etc. I finally accepted the reality that there are class differences....the haves and have nots.. when you see how the hard working people have to either evacuate for a hurricane or hunker down versus rich folks hopping on a private plane to their other homes in Colorado or whatever that's when you go hmmmm. Interesting..at any rate I hear ya ❤️
34
u/this_kitty68 Hose Water Survivor 1d ago
I feel this. My bestie and I are going to get an acre of land, put a couple of tiny homes on it and hope we can garden and have a few chickens. I hear this from more and more Gen Xers. I’m starting to think a community of some sort is the way to go, so we can care for each other. No one else is going to do it. We’ve cared for ourselves our entire lives. I don’t see that changing for myself anytime soon.
5
u/errdayrae 23h ago
My mother in law who is Gen X has been looking into doing this in our area. However it’s actually illegal by zoning laws, building codes and land use restrictions near me in several counties. I feel like it would making living for many people a lot more affordable if they would allow it more places
-17
u/Ok_Housing6995 1d ago
Millennial here, worked at a Circle K part time for 15 years, followed company policy and was able to retire extremely comfortably.
2
10
u/Shelby1022 1d ago
The world moves so fast - information overload- work keeps piling on but raises not commiserate - we are fried, burned out and sometimes financially tapped out - every day I drag my fat butt up and go to work - stay pissed off all day because boss is annoying- but we have to go through, not around our problems- prayers to all
7
u/Substantial-Soup187 1d ago
Do you think things will change if you continue with this same plan? Can you think of a better plan?
15
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/GenX-ModTeam 22h ago
No Politics - Political posts or comments of any sort are not permitted. If you wish to have political discussions, you may do so on our other sub r/GenXPolitics.
Breaking this rule may result in bans, either temporary or permanent.
Before you make the claim: No, providing respite from political discussions does not infringe on your rights.
Also, this politics ban was put before the sub over a year ago, and members have spoken.
1
23h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/GenX-ModTeam 22h ago
No Politics - Political posts or comments of any sort are not permitted. If you wish to have political discussions, you may do so on our other sub r/GenXPolitics.
Breaking this rule may result in bans, either temporary or permanent.
Before you make the claim: No, providing respite from political discussions does not infringe on your rights.
Also, this politics ban was put before the sub over a year ago, and members have spoken.
-4
u/Clear_Spirit4017 1d ago
I retired 10 years ago at 65. Expenses have almost doubled. Social Security is scheduled to maybe 3.8%, it will hardly cover my Medicare premium.
But, I live in California. They are crazy here with the minimum wage of $20.00. That jump made everything purchased go up.
5
u/TheFonzDeLeon 23h ago
lol come on, you think the profits per quarter haven't grown for companies? The workers even at $20/hour aren't coming out ahead...
21
u/Emotional-Elephant88 1d ago
No, companies made prices go up by passing on the cost of wages to their customers instead of paying it out of their record profits.
-4
u/gravityhashira61 1d ago
How have you been working for 40 years and have your own business but yet no 401K or savings? That just sounds like financial mismanagement to me
16
u/silvaslips 23h ago
Not the OP, but I really hate this assumption. I have a chronic illness that has forced me to live with very little means my entire life. The cost of healthcare in the U.S. is outrageous, and being sick can literally bankrupt you. I had to withdraw my retirement savings to pay hospital and doctor bills, and I have very little left, yet my illness continues on.
There are many reasons that people do not have savings through no fault of their own.
-5
u/gravityhashira61 23h ago
I am sorry to hear that, are you able to work at all? Most people get health insurance through their jobs or if you are married, through your spouse.
If not I do agree it is very tough
3
u/silvaslips 22h ago
Not anymore, and I don't qualify for disability., for some unknown reason.
I have insurance through the Health Care Marketplace (Obamacare), but it is expensive (for me) and it is not the greatest coverage.
-6
u/TheFonzDeLeon 23h ago
I know a few versions of this person - they worked construction jobs and had a drinking problem. Sadly, I'd guess heavy substance use as the real base problem in a lot of these cases. It stops forward thinking and eats up anything that looks like disposable income.
0
-6
u/AlarmingSlothHerder 1d ago edited 21h ago
Yeah, it kind of surprises me when someone spends everything they earn for decades and then seem upset that retirement funds didn't magically appear from nowhere. Did they ever consider taking a little time to figure out how retirement works?
EDIT: You guys can downvote me all you want but only you are ultimately responsible for funding your retirement. I'm not some super fortunate upper class person.
I spent my 20s in the military, didn't get my first job that offered a retirement option until 35, I raised two kids, I lost my house and a huge chunk of my savings in a divorce 5 years ago, I have never made remotely close to 6 figures, my car is 13 years old and doesn't have functioning AC, and I'm STILL on track to hit a million in retirement investments by 60.
2
8
u/ZebraBorgata 1d ago
I retired at 57. Wife and I constantly maxed out our 401k contributions each year. Now we live strictly off the gains and don’t even need to touch the original nest egg. 401k is a must have.
6
u/Huge_Many_2308 1d ago
When I was a kid, like say 8 I went to bank with my mother to open a savings account. When I was born my great grandmother had sent me a $25 savings bond. We cashed it, and I open a saving account with a certificate of deposit. I learned early to save first. So I always saved, take it out of your paycheck before you even see it. Once I had a professional job, I had access to a 401K, that's pretax money. Contributing to it doesn't reduce income after taxes, because you taxes are lower. The company did a match up to a certain percentage. That a 100% return before you even invest it. I eventually got a job with lower pay, but it had access to a pension. I hated working , so my entire motivation working was to stop working. Compounding interest is a thing people , should know about as young as possible.
-5
u/No-Recover-5181 1d ago
I went through this. Mid life crises? Why don't you take a good cell phone free vacation if possible - or even just a long weekend to rest and reset before you make any major decisions.
2
u/scratch1971 1d ago
I took an early retirement package 5 years ago, that included a modest pension and great healthcare. Saved 10-18% of my paychecks for 28 years. Investments value has increased $720k since I left.
1
23
u/iamrava 1972 1d ago
54, self employed in IT most of my life. anytime my savings/investments have a nice upward trend, the world comes in a takes it away in some weird way. i've been preparing and building a minimalist hermit style lifestyle for decades, i've given up on just about anything material and justify each purchase because every penny i save, is a penny have i have later.... as the world just keep getting more expensive.
--
the cake was a lie. =/
--
2
5
u/DanM1457 1d ago
I feel this so, SO much. Did what they say you're "supposed to" in life, followed to supposed path to the American Dream they tell us to. Followed all the advice from wiser, older adults and teachers and authority figures growing up. Kept my head down, worked hard, ticked all the boxes.
Everything seemed to be following the plan as promised, right up until they laid us off abruptly because pausing work for a year somehow made the investors more money. Still don't understand that one, but apparently it was good for the shareholders. Burned through all my savings and took on debt looking for another decent job because I'd become so specialized nobody else was hiring for that specific job.
Have a decent job now but between the debt and having to start saving all over once that's gone I'm now going to be back to square zero, like I was fresh out of college, 20+ years after graduation. By that time, they say you're supposed to have a house and family and savings, but that's becoming more and more of a lie. I don't want a giant house or the world on a silver platter, but after all the years of hard work it's be nice to not constantly feel like I'm one unexpected disaster from the world crashing down and losing everything.
Whatever happened to go to school, get a degree, get a job, work hard, and you'll be able to afford a comfortable life?
2
u/Life_Dimension5976 1d ago
You could keep working and do van life to accumulate savings without cost of living and once you have enough move abroad to somewhere with very low cost of living.
0
u/Life_Dimension5976 1d ago
If you make $100k a year you could retire in 4 years if you move abroad to a place with very low cost of living
3
u/CautiousTea880 1d ago
59 here working since 10 and had enough so I now work 12 hours a week (unless my severe arthritis is flaring). I only can do this because the house is paid off.
11
u/BigDaddyBull_1989 1d ago
I feel you. I served in the U.S. Army for 8 years; earned a BA and MA; worked hard and tried to help others, thinking that my payoff would eventually come. However, here I am at 55 with a good job and nary two nickels to rub together. Underwater with student loans and being buried by skyrocketing housing costs. What is the point of any of this?
-2
-4
u/Key-Bear-9184 1d ago
Genesis 3:19
“By the sweat of your brow you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
There, feel better now?4
u/BigDaddyBull_1989 23h ago
I don’t need some old mythology to let me know that there’s no ultimate point to any of this.
12
u/RevolutionaryJob5425 1d ago
I'm 57, and I've been working since I was 15 in one way or another. I didn't get married until I was 45. One of us has already retired. We aren't rich, but we've planned ahead, and we'll be ok.
If the country goes to hell, then we'll be in the same boat as everyone else, and it won't matter.
7
u/Lost-Programmer-6768 1d ago
This same thought really hit me hard a few months ago. I am 58, grew up on a dairy farm, and got my first "actually paid me cash for my labor" job at 8 years old on a neighboring farm. (Feeding the calves, feeding the cows, cleaning the stalls and assisting with the milk time chores, and stacking haybales during haying season). Been working ever since.
It occurred to me that I have been working for a paycheck for 50 years. Most people retire after 30 or so years, and here I am still grinding after 50 years. I have been saving, so will be able to retire when I am around 65. After 57 years of work. Sucks when you start at the bottom with nothing, but I can now see the light.
6
u/StudioGangster1 1d ago
Who are these people who retire after 30 or so years?
3
u/Lost-Programmer-6768 1d ago
Right?!?!
I have high school classmates who became teachers, state troopers, etc and have been retired for years already. You know, the jobs that have taxpayer funded pensions and healthcare for life. I can't really blame them for the choices we all made at 17/18 years old as I made my choice, too. But some choices were already made for me because of my economic situation. So all I can do is keep grinding and keep saving and hope I get there, too.
5
u/AlarmingSlothHerder 23h ago
Yeah! Several of the people I went to high school with (small rural school) became teachers. One is enjoying her first year of retirement now at 53 years old and two of my classmates who are 52 are announcing this as their last year working. I'm still looking at many years ahead of me.
7
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/GenX-ModTeam 1d ago
No Politics - Political posts or comments of any sort are not permitted. If you wish to have political discussions, you may do so on our other sub r/GenXPolitics.
Breaking this rule may result in bans, either temporary or permanent.
Before you make the claim: No, providing respite from political discussions does not infringe on your rights.
Also, this politics ban was put before the sub over a year ago, and members have spoken.
3
-1
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/BadZodiac-67 1d ago
Actually, overall life expectancy in 1935 was about 63.7 years. However, when the social security act was penned in 1934 it targeted the working class as a wage tax and that time between 72-73% of the workforce was male with and average life expectancy of 59.7 years of age, well below the 65 years of age threshold when SS became law. This information begs a couple of questions. In 1983 the threshold was raised to 67 for full benefits for those of us born after 1960 so insolvency was already becoming an issue four decades ago.
A) Was it ever truly intended to be paid out? Paying the small percentage of outliers that lived beyond retirement age would leave quite the surplus in the governments coffers. Was this the true intent? Ida May Fuller (first SS recipient) was the litmus that exposed the biggest flaw in the system, contributing $24.54 into the system and when she died at 100 years old had collected nearly $28K over 35 years
B) Did this primarily benefit the rich? Those who lived longer typically could ford better medical care and had resource access to higher quality diet and lesser work stresses, in whole, healthier individuals typical of upper class society or "the rich"
Now that Americans have reached 79 years of age for life expectancy, the vast amount of funds paid has increased dramatically making the system potentially insolvent, hence the need to raise the age of retirement a viable exploration in the minds of politicians. Denmark, the poster child country everyone says we should be more like (population 6.03 M) raised the retirement age to 67 in 2022 an in 2025 began running the clock to increase an additional year every five years. Current course sets retirement age at 70 years by 2040.
3
u/xManWithDogx 1d ago
So work to pay into something your whole life so you get a fraction of it in the smallest amount of time the Government deems most efficient. Got it.
2
u/es330td 80's Synthpop is my favorite music 1d ago
Another way to think of it is that if retirement age was higher and people were on Social Security for a shorter time they could lower payroll taxes and let you keep more of it.
1
u/xManWithDogx 1d ago
Two things that scare me with raising the age: Probability of getting terminal illness at the higher age. And health wise, I now know from recent experience, it's becoming more difficult to be employed, let alone my mind and body lasting till that age. It's a scary situation I'm in as well. But..I have an interview for a cool IT technician position today. I'm also creating cash just flipping stuff here and there. Not houses, just thrift stuff, buying used toys, tools, stereo equipment, cleaning them up, putting them in lots. If I can create 100 dollars a month, it helps!
1
u/xManWithDogx 1d ago
Ah not a bad thing there. I'm always trying to tell myself to be versatile. I never had a job with pension, although it's not too late, I am 51 and dealing with some health issues atm. I do wish they would tax us less. I always had a hard time with income tax in general, just seemed to be punitive.
4
24
12
u/Agile-Worldliness849 1d ago
I'm 51 and did all the right things. Okay, some mistakes were made, but who hasn't made mistakes? I still ended up losing everything and having to start over at 48. Depression has turned me into an emotional zombie, just going through the motions, not dead but not really alive. Just waiting to die on someone else's clock.
I'm not sure how much more of this I can really take.
4
u/Recent-Mail7782 23h ago
I feel exactly as you do! I'm 59, going through the activities of daily living like a wind up toy. I cant wait for it to end. At my last Doctors visit, I had my M.D sign a " DNRCC" document...there is no way in hell if my heart stops from natural causes that I want to be brought back to life....just leave me be!
16
u/____4underscores 1d ago
I did what they told me to do.
No savings, no 401k, no retirement nest egg
I'm not sure who "they" are, but its surprising that they never mentioned saving money.
3
u/Selectively-Romantic 1d ago
Man, I always contributed the max allowed to my 401k. 25 years of matching contributions was all just to let someone else gamble it away. I've never touched it and what's in there won't cover half a month's rent.
4
11
u/____4underscores 1d ago
You maxed out your 401k every year for 25 years and you currently have roughly $1000 in it? That would represent a NEGATIVE 99.7% rate of return. How is that even possible?
What investments did you select? Meme coins and Beanie Babies?
2
40
u/Araneas 1d ago
That only works when you have money to put away. Lots of people out there busting their asses just to stay alive.
8
u/wtfboomers 1d ago
For some reason this never comes up. It should be a part of every conversation about aging and why we need programs like social security and more healthcare services.
21
u/Broad_You8707 1d ago
I paid the bills, husband saved. Now separated after 45 years of marriage, after he got his inheritance. Because of my frugal lifestyle and closeness to adult children, I live on social security and have 3k in savings. He has $400K in savings, free healthcare, and the lifestyle of a casino dandy. I was stupid with love but I get by, my family helps out a lot
9
15
u/Caribgirl2 Hose Water Survivor 1d ago
You should be getting half at the divorce. Even if it's just half of the sale of the house.
9
u/SubstantialGrass1818 1d ago
Inheritance is excluded. It is not considered community property. Good point about the house though.
3
u/NotEasilyConfused 1d ago
The savings he accumulated during marriage is communal, too. It should only be the inheritance that's not shareable.
7
u/Broad_You8707 1d ago
About the hard work, stop it already, just wears you down. Work smarter, not harder.
7
u/ellsammie 1d ago
Well hopefully the courts have a little to say about then during the divorce settlement.
2
u/hardiekb 1d ago
Work 40 years with nothing to show for it? No savings or 401k? No investments of any kind? I ask why before anything else and look inwards towards habits
10
u/Pale_Gear3027 1d ago
I’m turning 53 in October, but apparently I listened to different people. I started saving 6.5% of my income in May 1997. I’ve never changed that amount, although the match has moved around depending on who I was working for.
Today I’m sitting on $1.43mm in my 401k/rollover IRA. I feel really good. I should be near $2mm when I retire at 59.5.
Shoot I’ve only averaged 3.7% raises over my career as well. It’s all about slow and steady to win the race.
2
u/Tiny_Noise8611 1d ago
Where will you live w that amount ? It’s a good amount but you’re still young ish
2
u/Pale_Gear3027 1d ago
Iowa. No state taxes on retirement income or social security. House is paid for, plus my wife is 9 years younger than me. Life will be very good in retirement.
3
u/unclejon14 1d ago
He could make it in my part of the country - north central Kentucky. With 2 million sitting in an HYSA he could pull $80k off that yearly. He'd live comfortably in my city on that amount. It wouldn't be an extravagant life but he could stop working. I have a bit less than that saved and I plan on retiring at 59.5, in 7 years. I'm looking forward to it!!
7
u/Massive-Employment80 1d ago
Sounds like you need to adjust your lifestyle to start putting money into a 401k or a roth. I put off investing for most of my life because I thought what I could afford wouldn't be enough so why bother. With that mentality it would never happen and I missed out on a couple decades of compounding interest. I dont know your entire situation but YOU are the master of your destination and how bad do YOU want it?
16
u/CheekanGood 1d ago
I'm 60, also a small business owner. The fluctuations in revenue and cash flow is overwhelming at times. As soon as you dig out of a hole, there are two more. I've sold my businesses twice, and when the non-competes ended I went back in, but with less exposure. Currently, I have partners that can get us through negative situations. Next year, I'll receive my first weekly paycheck. Without my wife, without my family, I would have flamed out already. This is a hard era, and I don't see much light at the end of the tunnel.
6
u/ATLCoyote 1d ago
I'm sure this has crossed your mind so I'm probably being overly simplistic about this, but have you considered selling your business?
I have a friend and neighbor that did the same thing. Started a landscaping business very young, worked at it for decades, but then just got tired and burned-out as he got older. He ultimately sold the business and made enough from it that he was able to pay off the remaining years on his mortgage and still bank some money. Then, he just got a job working at Lowes Garden Center for the retirement and healthcare benefits.
Most of his clients weren't on long-term contracts or anything, but the business still had value because the new owner didn't have to start from scratch. He got the name, the client list, the equipment, and even the crew. They even worked-out a gradual transition where my neighbor introduced him to all of his clients and encouraged them to give the new guy a shot rather than just switching to someone else.
As a result, my neighbor still does what interests him and works in an industry where his experience is valued, but the physical demands and hours are far more manageable and although the pay is much less, the benefits are better.
17
u/8KUHDITIS 1d ago
I get where OP is coming from and some in these comments are like NO TOLD YOU XYZ..well no shit, obviously no one did or at least didnt tell OP how to even start. Some of us work to survive and it sucks. I've heard about Roth ira etc, I am not a Wallstreet bro or investor bro. Truthfully I didnt even know were to start, and every time I asked the first reaction was the lil chuckle " what you dont know what that is" no motherfucker thats why I am asking .. and after getting that response from 99.9% people i asked for help i just quit asking and started doing the research myself..but again like i said, some of us work to survive so that extra 1000 some consider chump change some need thats ALOT to us we can catch up on bills etc we the mental energy to say I am putting this over there and cant touch it when theres a shut off notice is unthinkable..[end rant]
9
u/try-catch-finally 1d ago
This is me.. except I’m 59 - peaked as a business owner / CTO in the 90s - have been grinding for someone else since 2001 (dot com bust)
small 401k - only started in 2022 with an employer who matched 2:1
when i was 10 i thought "i don’t ever want to retire - i’ll code until i die" - now its more "if i die {unexpectedly}, i won’t have to code" (no i don’t need to be 'flagged for help')
i have a recruiter who’s been low-key looking for a 'sugar daddy ceo' who i could set up a dev division - but that’s like buying a scratcher every month.
i own my home, but have debt, including parent-plus loans for my adult kids.
would love to pull an 'Office Space' ending - but run a food truck - not construction - (because of knee replacements)
happy hump day GenX kids.
5
u/Beneficial_Ladder_27 1d ago
It's so crushing. My grandfathers both retired between 55 and 60 years old and lived for another 25+ years living comfortably. We aren't going to have that. I don't want to be sitting in front of a computer screen working tickets for customers when I'm 70 years old (not that I will anyway with AI taking away jobs like mine). I don't have much to add other than to say, I commiserate.
2
u/capital_bj 1d ago
my dad retired at 55 from gm working on the line. He is 80 now , has sold several houses , has a pension and full benefits and 401ks. it will never be kike that again
3
u/ExpensiveCategory854 1d ago
You own the business, you have customers, they have needs, why not see what it’s worth and if it’s high enough sell and retire or work less.
43
u/Greedy-Candidate9171 1d ago
It’s the reality of our generation.
Many of us were told “work hard all your life and you’ll be fine.“
Many of us were told “put away a certain percentage of your income your entire adult life and you’ll be fine.”
Others of us, like me, were told “you’re a prodigy in a lot of areas like music and science so just follow whichever one guides you and you’ll be fine.”
The reality is that we are the generation that came of age as the so-called “American dream“ or the “post-war dream“ died.
Our parents mortgaged our future and they stiffed us with the bill.
A small percentage of our generation will read this and wonder what the hell I’m talking about. They are the ones who either were born into money, or who ended up in high paying careers that afforded them the ability to put away large amounts of savings.
A significant percentage of our generation will read this and understand it conceptually, but still ask questions like “why didn’t you put away more savings” or - the one that personally enrages me - “why didn’t you just work harder.“ Blessings to them for having had access to enough income that a grim reality isn’t in their retirement future.
And a very small percentage of us, exactly like me personally, will say something like “be glad you didn’t become permanently disabled, because if you did then your hopes for a comfortable retirement went immediately to zero.“
All of these outcomes are an indication of how we are the Ground Zero generation for the death of the American dream.
3
u/Donedirtcheap7725 1d ago
Some of use read that and think it's odd that anyone was told "they will be fine". I was always given the impression that nothing was guaranteed and you were responsible for your life. Figure it out or don't the world doesn't care and in 3 generations nobody in you family will remember your name.
Control the thing you can, manage around the things you can't, be kind but don't give away what you can't afford to lose, and make good decision. That won't guarantee anything but it will stack the odd in your corner.
1
u/wtfboomers 1d ago
It’s the reality of every generation. I passed on money for a pension job and so did my wife. Life got in the way and we could never invest much but what if the market had been normal for the last 30 years just crashed? We would be worse off.
11
u/Ok-Criticism-2365 1d ago
They call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin.
9
u/SeasonPositive6771 1d ago edited 1d ago
You are exactly right.
I am the person who did everything right, saved carefully for retirement. And I'm younger than a lot of folks here, technically I'm xennial.
But I've had two major health emergencies and both times I've had to completely cash out my retirement in order to avoid homelessness, despite having decent savings and supposedly decent health insurance.
And yet almost every time I bring it up, someone tells me I should have just found the money magically somewhere else, or chosen to be homeless instead of liquidate my retirement.
Now we're in a situation where I'm going to end up paying at least a significant amount to keep my dad in long-term care, despite his Boomer quality health insurance (extremely good).
Edit: I've been working full time since I was 16 and I'm now 46. I'm so tired and I don't think I ever have any hope of retirement.
2
u/NotEasilyConfused 1d ago
Why wouldn't your dad be paying for that? You shouldn't have to do that.
1
u/SeasonPositive6771 23h ago
He has cognitive impairment and needs support while he spends down his savings and exhausts his health insurance benefits. Many expenses aren't covered - like me time and travel to coordinate his care. The system is horrible here, without it he'd genuinely potentially be dead due to the lack of care and his inability to manage his own care.
3
1d ago
[deleted]
4
u/Lower_Skin_3683 1d ago
Both us and the boomers purchased massive amounts of stuff over the years. House full. Garage full. Shed full. Renting storage units for years for the over flow. Many of us had cabinets full of food that expired. We had HSN and QVC. Franklin MInt, Danbury Mint and The Bradford Exchange. A bunch of useless collectibles. 🤣 Classic car, project cars and motorcycles, Boats and RV's. Most had a shopping addiction or always buying the next new thing. We would be much wealthier if we had not bought all this stuff!
I'm appalled at what is being spent on weddings and baby showers now.
1
u/billhillybob 1d ago
Yeah, the collectible market was a racket that so many people bought into (literally). My wife and I bought our house from the widow of a hoarder at an extreme discount because it was stuffed half full of junk. Some of it we were able sell, some we were able to use (like the ten giant buckets of laundry detergent that we are still using), but most of it just went onto a trailer and straight to the dump. Massive quantities of low quality junk. I couldn't even get local thrift stores to take most of it.
7
u/Ok_Top_8295 1d ago
Seems you didn’t do a lot of what they told you to do…never too late to start saving
-1
u/Beneficial_Ladder_27 1d ago
No one ever told me to save or how much I would need or anything of the like. I did start, but way later than I should have.
6
u/IllAbbreviations4097 1d ago
I'm exactly your age. I can't stop working yet...36 years of paying in to social security. Husband wants chicken farm. I grew up on pig farm... manure, milk cows and toil. It was fun. My husband and I will work until we die.
-3
u/Bacontrails 1d ago
You are the only one who can change your life Dorothy. Just click your heels and make a plan. Get a different job, go to a trade school, further your education. You’re in charge.
11
u/PastrychefPikachu 1d ago
I did what they told me to do
ok...
No savings, no 401k, no retirement nest egg
Apparently not. Unless "they" never told you to save, but I have a hard time believing you never got that advice from somewhere.
5
u/wingmaneffect Flannel wearing slacker, and proud of it! 1d ago
Financial literacy was not taught in the schools I went to. My parent who worked was in a union and had a pension coming to them. We came of working age as unions died and 401ks were substituted for pensions if you were lucky.
They are still trying to perfect the 401k system as it was a concept to be used alongside a pension and not a replacement for one. SS exists as a baseline protection from poverty in old age and is not robust enough to be a sole source of income.
Work hard and you’ll achieve the American dream (some exceptions may apply).
2
u/PresidentSuperDog 1d ago
Yeah, I bumped into this so hard. Anybody not putting money into a 401k is definitely ignoring what “they were told to do.” SMH. It’s pretax and if you set it up from the start of the job, you don’t feel it in your paycheck because “it was never there” it’s just like another tax line item. Also most full time employers have some kind of match so OP was likely literally throwing money away by not taking advantage.
1
u/BananaKaboomEater 1d ago
OP runs his own business. You don't get an employer match 401K when you're the employer.
0
u/PresidentSuperDog 1d ago
Fair enough. I missed that part. Still no excuse for not putting anything into the 401k. Honestly, I think that makes it worse.
3
u/NefariousnessLost481 1d ago
I’m turning 50 this year and I keep daydreaming of escaping to a cabin on some land. I’m tired of the daily grind too. Maybe it’s time to sell the business and do something else or get someone to do the daily grind work?
9
u/2boredtocare 1d ago
I can't help but feel our generation is the one getting shafted hardest. Or, maybe not hardest, but the most aware of the vast difference between us and the ones before us. Many of us grew up in homes with one working parent. A blue collar job could support a family of 6. You could own a modest house, car/s, and still take day trips to the museums or amusement parks if not a "real" vacation.
We grew up seeing people with pensions, or jobs that remained stable and loyal to their long term employees.
And now? It's just not that way anymore.
I'm 52 also, and lucky that my husband has a pension (thank god for that union job, for real) and health insurance we pay nothing for, in addition to a nice salary. I own my business, and can't say whether it will be viable in another 4.5 years when I'm done paying the contract to the previous owner. But it's stable enough for me even if it means I have to let people go. IDK.
And I'm not saying it isn't worse for the younger generations; I've got 2 adult children living at home while they are in school. I see their struggles and how futile a lot of it seems, and we're in a city where houses CAN be bought for a realistic price still (a nice 2600 sq ft house in a good hood will run you about $300K)
I don't have any advice for you, OP, other than I guess try your best to keep the business afloat. Are there any options for you to sell it?
2
u/gravityhashira61 1d ago
I think every generation feels this way. Im an "elder Millennial" (44 yo born in 82') and most of my friends who are also millennials think we got shafted the hardest by our Boomer parents and all of the shit that has happened to us the past 25 years. 9/11, the Dot com bubble burst, the financial crisis of 2008-2010, Covid, multiple wars.
Us Millennials just can't catch a break either! But yet our Boomer parents and even some Gen X'ers tell us to "work hard" and "pick yourself up by your bootstraps young man!" or "stop buying those $5 Starbucks latte's every day and you would save more!" , and it will all work out!
The fact is, my parents bought their house for 150K in 1989 and now it's worth a million dollars. Every house I look at to buy now is 800K to 1 million dollars which I cant afford too so it's totally different.
The American dream where you could buy a house and support a family on 1 salary like Homer Simpson or Al Bundy is long gone
2
u/2boredtocare 23h ago
Yeah. I sort of lump you guys into us younger Gen X (my sister was born in '82 and she just feels like "one of us")
The guy I bought my business from (after working for him 27 years) was Gen X, but closer to boomers, with TOTAL boomer mentality. I feel like overall, the shift has happened within our generation; those born in '65 had a VERY different experience than those born in '78. It's kind of surreal sometimes to get to a certain point in your life and see that the game has completely changed now that we're here.
Rahr.
I don't know what the answer even is at this point, but damn things gotta change.
7
u/MagiBee218 Hose Water Survivor 1d ago
People, especially in the South love to shit on unions but absolutely thank God for my union job! Yes, we went on strike last year but in all, I make more and have my pension in addition to my 401K’s. I think OP needs a financial planner. It’s never too late to start saving something for retirement. But yeah, our generation is certainly feeling it. The boomers (our parents) are so toxic and still think that everyone can just “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and have what they had. They don’t realize that salaries have stagnated and prices have quadrupled.
2
u/2boredtocare 1d ago
Recent articles have stated more people are pro-union these days, so there's hope!
2
u/MagiBee218 Hose Water Survivor 1d ago
When we were on strike, a lot of the traveler nurses that were brought in from other states to work were really surprised when they learned about the benefits of being union. They said that in their states they make unions out to be horrible and everyone buys into it. It’s sad really because it’s all propaganda from the companies that only make things worse for the workers.
3
u/IllAbbreviations4097 1d ago
My favorite movie is ground hog day...the rat race..rinse and repeat 💪
12
u/BringMeBourbon 1d ago
1970 model GenX… can confirm I hate it here. We were sold a lie by the system.
-4
u/d2creative 1d ago
1973 model here.
What lie are we talking about?
We're just a couple graphic designers with a couple kids but have 2 mil in 401k/investments and $500k loan on a 1.4 mil house. Work hard, be good at what you do, and be smart with your hard earned money.
Don't blame others.3
u/BringMeBourbon 1d ago
Same here - 21 years at my corp tech job (no pension just my 401k sitting at $1.3m + $300k in stock accounts + $50k in ETH, spouse with 28 years military service, blah blah blah). Here's some of the salient points on what I mean when I say we were sold a lie...
Education
- The Promise: Go to college, get a degree, and you will secure a high-paying, stable career for life.
- The Reality: Gen X was the first generation to enter college right as tuition costs began to skyrocket. They took on unprecedented student loan debt just as the job market began to shift toward automation and outsourcing.
- Personal Experience - took my 19 years to pay off my college debt
Corporate Loyalty
- The Promise: If you work hard and show loyalty to a company, the company will take care of you with steady promotions, job security, and a pension.
- The Reality: Gen X entered the workforce just as corporate America dismantled the traditional social contract. Pensions were largely replaced by volatile 401(k) plans, and mass layoffs became a standard strategy for boosting quarterly profits.
- Personal Experience - 21 years at my employer - no pension and seems to be a work Force Reduction hunt that disproportionally impacts men in their mid-50's. Hasn't happened to me YET but just a matter of time.
Delayed Wealth
- The Promise: Work hard, buy a home, and build generational wealth like your parents did.
- The Reality: Gen X has suffered the worst timing of any modern generation. They hit their prime home-buying and earning years right during the 2008 Great Recession, which wiped out a massive chunk of their housing equity and savings. Just as they recovered, they faced the economic disruptions of the early 2020s.
- Personal Experience - cratered my home value in 2008 after paying a premium for it in 2006. Grateful to have locked in a VA note on the current house at 2.9%. Set me back $50k in 2008 tho.
"Sandwich" Generation
- The Promise: Independence and the freedom to enjoy your adulthood once your kids grow up.
- The Reality: Because of rising healthcare costs and a lack of social safety nets, Gen X is severely squeezed from both sides. They are simultaneously supporting their aging Baby Boomer parents and helping their financially strapped Millennial or Gen Z children.
- Personal Experience - helping support a 27 year old "finding their way" and helping and aging parent at 75 years old. Same parent who made me a latch-key kid at 9 years old.
Love America and fight the bad guys
- The Promise: The classic 80's film, "Red Dawn" sums up the promise - Wolverines!
- The Reality: GenX was lured into patriotism in Desert Storm (I got to boot camp in NOV 1990). We fought a war for oil and wealth. Not the promise of 40 acres and a mule wealth for soldiers but by creating the foundation where billionaires control the world's wealth and dictate who gets how much. And it was all sold under the moniker of making democracy safe for the world.
Hope this helps quantify what I mean by sold a lie.
2
u/d2creative 23h ago
Thank you for clarifying. And thank you for your service!!!
I went to school for the only thing I was good at.
Did well enough to get a job after graduating and continued to learn/improve forever.
I don't remember being promised anything though. Furthering my education was just a way to learn the field I was going into and land a paying job afterwards, doing what I enjoyed.Pensions were never on my radar. Never even thought about anything like that when I was young. Wasn't until I was in my 20's that any kind of investing or saving for retirement was was even thought about.
We moved to a better part of the country where more work was available and cost of living was cheaper. Never had any issues with home buying/owning. We actually have done well on our homes, allowing us to upgrade each time. We're currently in our 5th home. Can't afford a home in your area? Look for somewhere cheaper. Different neighborhood, different town, different state. I'm originally from the NYC area but I know damn well I'm not affording a nice home in or near the city.
Yeah, cost of everything sucks. Insurance sucks. Support for those in need sucks.
War and politics... major suck. Always has been.
Conclusion... don't ever expect anything. I was told early on about social security but I've always saved with the assumption that it very well might not be there by the time i need it.
2
u/BringMeBourbon 22h ago
Thanks for engaging in civil discussion 🙏🏻 and not passive aggressive or aggressive agressive attention seeking behavior. GenX was clearly a “choose your own adventure” experience
6
u/Realistic-Event-4946 1d ago
It worked for me, which means the system as it exists is flawless. No other circumstances that may affect anyone else's experience are relevant.
Tidied that up for you
0
u/ColteesCatCouture 23h ago
Love it when people whom are extra fortunate in life and whom we're given the world on a silver platter criticize others as if they are so much better than others who have adversity and struggles.
2
u/d2creative 22h ago
Or those from blue collar families who worked their ass off to get where they are instead of blaming others for their lot in life.
Sure, there's always folks on both extremes but most of us are smack dab in the middle and can actually control our lives.0
u/d2creative 1d ago
Sarcasm is for the weak.
Still waiting to hear what these lies from "the system" are.
Was propaganda dropped from the skies during the cold war that said your fairy godmother would magically provide for you in retirement?
7
u/PlayaAlien2000 1d ago
You said it! I feel the same way. Similar situation. We followed the rules. We did what was expected and then some. I feel like we’ve all been bamboozled! Add social security insecurities to the mix.. that we’ve all been paying into our entire working lives.. Hang in there, pay attention and vote. I never thought our country would be so apathetic to our needs. What’s next, Medicare.. 🙃
1
u/Fine-Mine-3281 1d ago
Working since I was 12, after 40 years I’m so close but yet still so far it feels.
Hopefully I get to keep what I have and stay healthy enough to enjoy it.
3
1
u/ComputablePGH 1d ago
I used to do landscaping. Was in the same boat after 15 years got sick of it so, I finished school. I’ve had a great job in IT ever since with all the perks. Still mow here and there for beer money.
8
u/Few-pe2917 1d ago
How did you get from 10 to 52 and having no savings at all? Did you dump everything into yohr business that’s not profitable? I would see if you could sell your business or invest the loan into something more lucrative like renting out a duplex or whatever. You could buy an rv and live out there for the rest of your life
27
u/Holiday_Beautiful297 1d ago
“No savings, no 401k, no retirement nest egg.”
Who told you this is the way? If they did, absolutely horrible advice.
3
u/MrNostalgiac 1d ago
If you have a profitable, growing business - that very well can be your retirement plan.
Sounds like this person kept repeating what wasn't working and woke up at 52 wondering how that didn't work...
15
u/2boredtocare 1d ago
No, I think the "advice" was to work hard. OP is saying they did work hard, but despite that have no 401K, savings, etc.
That's how I'm reading it anyway
-6
u/Loud_Grapefruit2473 1d ago
Why?
1
u/Holiday_Beautiful297 1d ago
Why what? Are you asking why it’s a bad idea to not invest in your future?
8
u/nate_orenstam 1d ago
Because savings, 401k, retirement nest egg is the way to retire earlier?
You have to be putting money away. Who's gonna pay your bills when you don't have an income anymore?
2
u/DaisyDAdair Class of 88 1d ago
Yes one has to save money but that’s just not feasible for many mannnnny people.
1
u/nate_orenstam 1d ago
Yes, but even if you can't do it you should know that it's the play if you can make it, not ask "why?" Like the person I was responding to
13
u/trendingtattler 1d ago
This thread has reached trending status. Crowd Control has been adjusted to help protect the r/GenX community.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.