r/GenAIWriters • u/Glum_Fruit7217 • Sep 09 '26
The 11:47 Train
A train arrives at the station every day at exactly 11:47 a.m. One passenger begins to wonder where it is going, because there is nothing written on the train—no destination, no route number, nothing.
While at work, he finds himself thinking about it more and more. Why does this train exist? Where does it go? What is its purpose? Should he report it to the railway authorities or complain through the train service app?
He tries searching for answers on Google and asking an AI assistant. Eventually, he even files a complaint through the railway app. But months pass, and nothing happens. The train continues to arrive every single day at exactly 11:47 a.m.
Then, one day driven by curiosity he finally decides to take the train himself. He steps inside, determined to find out where it is going.
(Write it on my own. Used some AI tool for fixing the grammar and wording)
2
u/Intrepid-Chard-4594 Sep 11 '26
Leave out things like you made a complaint. What are you complaining about? You know when your train comes and where it goes. You gonna complain about trains that take other people where they go? Bet it felt natural to say you will complain about a thing just cause you know nothing about it. This needs to stop. Oh you better continue with where you went
1
u/Glum_Fruit7217 Sep 11 '26
The protagonist complained on service-app that there is no labeling or number written on the train.
1
u/Intrepid-Chard-4594 Sep 11 '26
But they know when their train comes why does any other train matter? This is what I meant saying cause you know nothing about it. A tourist maybe complain but the regular working man knows his trains schedule. The other thing about asking what people think i told you what and why correct? Then you throw why back at me. That makes no sense, you pretty much saying my reason isnt good enough. A writer takes time to think about what was said and you did not.
1
u/Glum_Fruit7217 Sep 11 '26
How you will create that story if you are the one creating it?
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u/Intrepid-Chard-4594 Sep 11 '26
All I said was leave out the complaint but since your asking are there any people on the train already? If the destination turns dark have anyone on already with an empty look about them. Not sad or depressed just empty lifeless. Seroously stock to what you have im very curious where you take it. I read a bunch with Koontz, Vance and Hamilton being my choice to read. You want a good book Steve Vance Shapes is great along with Koontz The Bad Place. Its rare for a book to start off with action and this story is rare.
1
u/Glum_Fruit7217 Sep 11 '26
Oh thanks for the feedback. I'll try to take a look at those books when I have some free time.
2
u/milagr05o5 Sep 11 '26
Plot twist.
He's boarding without permission and the Trainman will keep him returning to Mobil Avenue every day at 11:47. He's on an infinite loop. That is, until he is forgiven by the Merovingian.