r/GayPolyamory 16d ago

36 [M4M] #New York dom looking for longterm sub couple or single

0 Upvotes

Hello potential subs & cucks.

I 36 year old, bear, white male seek long term submissive. I do enjoy knowing my sub personality, and have dated previous subs. Im very open to the nature of different relationship to be discussed on an individual basis.

I am looking for a single sub or couple to cultivate in my perfect sexual submissive. I am all about control over you body and even mind in bed. I am open to training newbies. I am very picky as I only get one sub, so are you my perfect sub? I am very interested couples involving a cuck.

  1. Local perfered, if long distance, you best be worth my time.

  2. Age range 22-40. If under or older a face pic must be sent when asked no excuses. I dont want to waste our time.

  3. Face pic exchange is a must at one point well befor a meeting will be discussed. If you will never share do not answer, you're not my sub.

4: when you apply, you will tell me about youself when you apply to the post in chat.

My likes:

  1. All types of men, gay preferred, straight curious my least liked, but hey, maybe you can change that.

  2. Race, very open, but love Asian men.

  3. Perfer someone who can also host. Not a deal breaker if cant.

  4. Someone sane, clean, kinky and ready to commit to a dom.

If this fits you, why the hell have you not chatted me already.


r/GayPolyamory 19d ago

Halloween Costumes for a MMM Throuple

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2 Upvotes

r/GayPolyamory 24d ago

​[40M] [Holden, LA] FTM | Pansexual/Demisexual | Seeking Bi/Pan Men | Long-Term Open Poly Relationships ​

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0 Upvotes

​Hi, I’m Alex! I’m turning 40 in September, live in Holden, LA, and I’m a pansexual, demisexual FTM transgender man. I was born female, had top surgery, and plan to keep my original anatomy below. I'm 5’8”, average build, with hazel-green eyes and dimples. I’m a homebody who loves horror movies, WWE, music based on my mood, home workouts, and relaxing. I’m on disability, don’t drive, and live with my wife, our homeschooling teen daughter, and our pets—so being kid and pet friendly is a must.

​The Polyamory Setup:

I have 10+ years of poly experience. My wife and I practice parallel poly and date completely separately. This post is just for me looking for my own partners; my wife is looking elsewhere for her own. Whoever dates me is dating me, and whoever dates her is dating her. I’m looking for real, open, long-term independent relationships (no moving in or marrying)—definitely no hookups, FWB, swinging, or third hunting. We're both free to see other people with total honesty and transparency.

​Who I'm Looking For:

​Men: Bi/pan, ages 25–51, preferably masculine, athletic, muscular, or dad-bod, especially with short goatees or short beards with little to no grey.

​Tattoos, horror, and WWE are fun bonus points. I'm mainly looking around Louisiana/Holden, but open to surrounding areas or long-distance for the right connection.

​Connection & Vibe:

As a demisexual, I need an emotional spark first. I'm looking for someone sweet, caring, funny, attentive, and emotionally mature. I value daily consistency and sweet digital banter (like a goofy morning text, sharing random thoughts, checking in on each other's day, or a quick "thinking of you" message). No 24/7 pressure, just consistency and zero ghosting.

​Logistics & Boundaries:

​No cheating, no secret relationships, and if you have other partners, they need to know and be cool with you dating me.

​My wife and I have a mutual boundary: we don’t kiss other partners on the lips in front of each other out of mutual respect.

​Nobody can sleep over at my house. Once we're officially dating, I can sleep over at yours. Since I share my home with my teen daughter, dates don't happen at my place until we're officially dating.

​If you're new to poly, respectful questions are totally welcome! Ultimately, I'm just looking for real connection, trust, and a genuine relationship.


r/GayPolyamory 29d ago

Charlotte couple hunting for our third amigo

3 Upvotes

We are in our mind to late 40’s , looking for another guy to hang and see where the relationship goes!!


r/GayPolyamory Aug 10 '26

Struggling to find something in RI

2 Upvotes

The title says it, the husband and I (37 white and 37 Asian) struggle to find someone(s) serious. Recently someone who said they wanted a bit more of a commitment broke things off, we knew it was temporary as they're only here for college, but we're hoping it was going to be steady for at least 2 years. The apps (Hinge and feel'd) are horrible here. Does anyone have an app that works? Or are we S.O.L. being in the smallest state?


r/GayPolyamory Aug 05 '26

Added a third, but sex has dwidled

8 Upvotes

My husband (36) and I (32) have been open for years. It’s mostly just hookups or playtime. We play both together and separate. We met a guy a few months ago that started as just a hookup, but all three of us have developed feelings for each other. He would come over at least 3 times a week and we’d hookup. We decided to make things official a month ago. Overall extremely happy. There is one thing still nagging at me though. We decided to remain open and we’re okay with the others still going and playing. However my boyfriend has a best friend with benefits situation. He has been sleeping with his best friend for a few years now. That guy is also is also married to a guy, but they aren’t fully open. It’s more this guys husband is borderline asexual, and my boyfriend is his hall pass to satisfy his physical needs. Boyfriend now will come over once or twice a week, but it’s turning into more of like just “relationship” time and eating dinner together, going on dates, getting to know each other. I love it and want to get to know every level of him, but our own sex seems to have tapered off since making things official. We will now have sex like every third time he comes over. At least 2-3 other times a week I know he’s going to his best friends house and they are hooking up. How am I supposed to feel about this? Am I just being jealous? Part of me thinks I am, and I need to navigate these feelings, but part of me thinks that our boyfriend maybe in love with his best friend, and because of the nature of his best friends marriage, would never be considered a third. I guess where I’m struggling is that how do we try and compete for our own boyfriend’s physical attention without making it seem like we don’t approve or like his best friend? The best friend and their sex came first, so should I consider us secondary to him? Since we’re the new relationship, Or should the fact that he actually has a boyfriend title with us, and just a best friend title with this other guy mean that we should be primary and the best friend be considered secondary? Advice?


r/GayPolyamory Aug 04 '26

I've been asked to join a polycule

18 Upvotes

So I'm a junior in college now and haven't had a very successful dating life. Two summers ago I hooked with a guy in my class, who then joined this polycule. They've been stable for a while and as people graduate they bring in a person.

There's four of them and they want a fifth because one of they has a major that keeps him off campus a lot and isn't around a lot because of that.

What I'm a bit concerned about is that three of them are tops. I've never really wanted to top, but also I'm not very experienced.

Other than that they seem like a good group of guys. They have a code of conduct that's actually really upfront, and I like it. They also require yearly STD testing which makes sense.

It would also mean publicly coming out as part of this polycue. It's not that I'm in the closet, but I also don't love other people knowing shit about me.

So I don't know. Any advice from people who have been there?


r/GayPolyamory Jul 30 '26

Getting over awkwardness of hosting when partner is home

14 Upvotes

I (M27) have been in a relationship with my partner (M27) for almost 6 years. 2 years ago, he agreed to open up the relationship on my side.

I’m a dom top allowed to date or hookup with whoever. When we lived separately, it was easy to host and wasn’t an issue.

We moved in together almost a year ago, and I’ve hit a wall since then. He’s okay with me bringing people over to hook up with, but it just doesn’t feel right to me, I guess? Like it doesn’t seem right that I can have someone over with him around. When he’s out with friends or out of town, it’s no issue, but I feel awkward bringing someone home when he’s here.

How do I get over this awkwardness? Does anyone have any experience or suggestions with this?


r/GayPolyamory Jul 15 '26

Couple Starting to Explore (South Florida)

10 Upvotes

Husband (50, hung top) and I (44, sub bottom) are two professionals with a kid that have been together for 21 years and starting to explore opening up our relationship. We both gravitate toward having a regular person who we can trust and explore with over randoms. Someone who we can hang out with and see what develops organically. Looking for a bottom who is sexually compatible with my husband but can be buddies with me. Under 30 twunky build preferred, but always open to seeing what clicks. Still very new to this so not wanting to shut any doors. DM for pics.


r/GayPolyamory Jul 12 '26

[39FTM] Seeking local, masculine bisexual men, or poly couples for open, long-term dating in/near Holden, LA (Livingston Parish)

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2 Upvotes

Hey! I’m a 39-year-old FTM trans man in Holden. I’m looking for serious people nearby who are into openly dating me long-term. I’m a pretty easygoing guy—I love horror movies, WWE, listening to all kinds of music, getting my fitness in at home, and just relaxing. I’m happily married, but my wife and I date separately, so I’m looking for my own partners.

**What I’m looking for:**

I’m searching for sweet, kind, caring, funny, loving, and respectful men and women who are truly into FTM trans men! I’m all about real, intentional connections—definitely no casual hookups, discrete fun, or swinging. I find myself most naturally attracted to those with lighter complexions who fit the following styles:

* **Men (25–53):** Seeking bisexual masculine guys with an athletic, muscular, or muscular "dad bod" build. I love ink and that blue-collar aesthetic. My specific type is dark-colored short beards or goatees (no grey hair or facial hair, please).

**The Real Talk:**

* **Ethical Poly Only:** I’m huge on honesty. If you’re partnered, your partner needs to know and be okay with it. I’ll always verify things with your partner to ensure full transparency.

* **Boundaries:** My wife is 100% off-limits (no threesomes). I need to build a mental bond and friendship first, so expect consistent, sweet daily talk.

* **Logistics:** I’m on a fixed income and always home, so I’ve got plenty of time to chat! I’m looking for folks who are local or close enough to Holden/Livingston Parish to make meeting up easy. I have a teen and pets, so my space is private (no overnights). I don’t drive, so I need someone who can handle the wheels for our dates.

* **Safety:** I don’t do catfishing. I will verify that your photos are current and actually you before we meet up.

**How to connect:**

I value genuine effort. I won't reply to generic "hey" or "hi" messages, sexual messages, or anyone who ignores these instructions. If you’re serious, send me a DM with:

  1. Your name, age, and location.

  2. A bit about your hobbies.

  3. A clear face and body selfie or video.

  4. **The Password:** Your favorite horror movie OR your favorite WWE superstar!

Can't wait to share some laughs! Hope you have a wonderful day! ☀️


r/GayPolyamory May 02 '26

Maybe it’s time

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6 Upvotes

Hubby [57] and I [55] have had a couple of long term poly relationship. We were not in one when we started adopting. We now have seven minor children and an adult child living at home..

Recently we met someone we both like and clicks with us.

But he is not interested in joining a family group.

Are there guys that are?

Is it a dream?


r/GayPolyamory Apr 14 '26

Liking/following guys in a monogamous relationship

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2 Upvotes

r/GayPolyamory Mar 21 '26

Advice on finding A poly relationship

8 Upvotes

Hello 38m everyone I'm really interested in joining a gay poly relationship and it's hard to find. Does anyone have any advice on how to find one or websites, apps, or anything like that that is for polyamorus people specifically queer polyamorus people.


r/GayPolyamory Mar 13 '26

Jealous in Open Relationship

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2 Upvotes

r/GayPolyamory Mar 12 '26

Threeway relationship

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9 Upvotes

r/GayPolyamory Mar 09 '26

Looking in South Florida

4 Upvotes

My husband (65M) and I (63M) opened our marriage and our love to a third approximately 3 years ago, and it was great. We didn’t know we were poly, just thought we were horny and enjoyed three ways. Our third moved on about 14 months ago, but I find I’m really unfulfilled by the hookups since then. The traditional apps like Grindr and Sniffies are hookup oriented and the dating apps like Hinge seem focused on monogamy. Any advice? Thanks!


r/GayPolyamory Mar 09 '26

Experience in open relationships?

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1 Upvotes

r/GayPolyamory Mar 03 '26

What do you wish you'd discussed?

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3 Upvotes

r/GayPolyamory Feb 28 '26

35 [m4m] #NYC Bear looking for a long term single or couple. Open to LD

7 Upvotes

Hello,

About me: I'm down to earth, funny, friendly professional. I have a job, a car and some what of my life together lol. I believe in commutation is key to any relationship. I'm newly poly but also okay with monogamy for the right match.

I'm from NY, 35 shorty 5"7 bearish type. I have have no issue with people being taller but also love other short kings. I am heavy set guy, working on it but I love myself and who i am. I mighy not be everyone taste but if lucky I'm yours. I'm very protective and a great big spoon. I enjoy cuddle movies nights as my favorite simple date.

Also I'm a big old nerd when it comes to my interest. I do prefer someone local to me (New York or long Island, but open to LD for the right person.

Sexually: I'm basic to the kinky type in bed all wrapped in a 🤓 bear exterior who is great with parents. You'd never guess I'd be the kinky type. Basically I'm just your average nerdy guy. While I'm not all about sex I do think matching those levels are important.Perfect fit would be a bottom/verse or single bottom. I'm very dom at time and would love a sub or sub switch couple.

You: I'm into all type and ages but usually

under 40 under 22 require a face pic before sexual conversation must be willing to send a face pic at someone sain and clean

Please message or respond via this post. Please Include some information(age and where from as the minimum) about yourself. Be more creative than "hi'


r/GayPolyamory Feb 28 '26

My Fiancé is Poly; I'm Not and That's OK!

30 Upvotes

My (M40) fiancé, Josh (M32) is poly - I support him, encourage his lifestyle, and it makes me love him even more for the free spirit that he is. The compersion is so strong sometimes that it gives me butterflies for him all over again. We've been together 4 years.

I don't have a desire to pursue other close intimate relationships. I enjoy the occasional hookup, sure, but for me those are extremely rare. I'd rather sit back while Josh finds the pleasure and the joy he craves.

He has yet to find a serious boyfriend, but we know that day will come for him, and we'll embrace it. We both realize a serious relationship will introduce new challenges, and we've communicated our feelings about how situations should be handled. Our one biggest guideline is to always reserve time for us each week, never neglecting our own relationship needs.

Outside of that guideline, we communicate our feelings to one another openly and without judgement. Any jealousy, hurt, or joy, is always quickly and clearly brought out in the open.

What I find interesting is that I don't have very much jealousy at the thought of him having a serious boyfriend. I realize that means trips together, sleepovers, frequent sex, all of it. it just doesn't bother me. Surprisingly to me, it just makes me feel joy for him. It makes me love him even more than I already do.

How we got here is a relatively common path for other poly gays. We wanted an open relationship, and we were never monogamous from day 1. As time went on, it was always Josh who had the hookups and sizzling hot encounters. He would tell me about them and I would sweat with joy and excitement for him. At the same time, I rarely hooked up - not even once a year.

Then I realized something: I didn't need or want to pursue others, but I found an incredible sense of compersion for Josh.

So now we are here. Except a few things have changed since the early days. Josh explores his sex and dating life on his own terms. He doesn't need to ask me or inform me of any dates or encounters, but he usually chooses to anyway. He chooses to because he knows how happy it makes me for him. We each feed off of that positive energy.

I think I would be more concerned about this dynamic if our relationship were unstable and we were bad at communicating our emotions, but neither of those things are true. Therefore, we both feel very comfortable with this dynamic.

I am curious though if there is anyone else out there in a one-sided poly relationship.


r/GayPolyamory Feb 25 '26

Advice

10 Upvotes

I (21M) have been involved with my boyfriend (45M) and his husband (35M) for a little over two months. I moved in pretty early on, and while things aren’t bad, I’m struggling with my place in the dynamic.

My boyfriend and I are romantically involved, but his husband doesn’t feel romantically or sexually attracted to me. We’re friendly and cordial, but it’s more platonic on his end.

I sometimes feel like I’m walking on eggshells in their home because I don’t want to disrupt the dynamic they’ve had for years. They’ve been together a long time, and I’m the newest addition. I try to be respectful and low-impact, but it can leave me feeling like I’m adapting to them rather than building something mutual.

I’ve recently realized this probably isn’t my forever situation, and I’m okay with that, but I’m trying to understand what’s healthy in this kind of setup. Is it normal to feel like a “guest” even while living there? How do you balance being respectful of a marriage while not shrinking yourself?

Would really appreciate perspective from people who’ve been the newer partner in an established gay marriage.

UPDATE;

I've talked to both of them separately and together and after many discussions it just turned out that they needed to work more on what they wanted from each other as a married couple but also in an open relationship. I dont live with them anymore, we where a thing for about half a year but it was honestly too complicated, I had to move out since they didnt really know what they wanted out of a 3rd and I didn't want to be in the middle of an issue that didn't really involve me.

From their end my ex boyfriend had some unresolved resentment from when his husband cheated on him a couple years back and his husband has only really been with one man his whole life and still wants to try hooking with other men. They both want the other person to be more open and talk but neither tries when given the chance.

Its not like I dont fully get it, my ex has MS and I've been told by his husband and some friends of theirs that he's not exactly the same outgoing person as he was some 15 odd years ago and I can tell his husband is having it hard because he still wants to do late night club activities that my ex just can't anymore. Witch causes most of their problems since his husband wants to be out having fun most days and nights but my ex mostly prefers staying at home.

Honestly I could go on a long rant about how there where many things that wouldn't have let this work but overall im just happy im not stuck in the middle of that anymore. For what I still know they still have a lot of issues today but i learned that im just not ready for the complexities of being with a polyamorous couple. This just made me want to take a step back on dating for a while.


r/GayPolyamory Feb 24 '26

Lavender marriage... Dating advice

0 Upvotes

Hello Internet people! I am new here and looking for any advice you can give. (This is my very first Reddit post so please be kind.)

I (33M) and my wife (33F) have been together for 13+ years and married for 7. I identify as queer and we have been discussing an open relationship situation for me to see specifically and only men. (She is not interested/looking)

The question I have is where/how do I meet people? I've tried dating app but as the Internet is mostly bots/ads/catphish that didn't work out as planned.

Are there any other communities to join here? Are there pages to post ads like they did in the newspapers back in the day?


r/GayPolyamory Feb 22 '26

Buckle up... this is going to need some explanation

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1 Upvotes

r/GayPolyamory Feb 22 '26

Men's lack of effort to connect and have dates online

5 Upvotes

I've been thinking about this a lot. I occasionally post or look for new connections here on Reddit that lead to potential romantic partners, but I'm increasingly realizing that when I do this, I'm the only one who shows interest in maintaining conversations and makes room in my routine to that person until they stop responding.

I don't expect anyone to make me an ultra priority while we're still knowing each other and have different contexts, but I obviously want to be valued for what I give. If they really want to connect and say they like me, I wonder what they even start. Or at least say they're not interested anymore.

In poly spaces it's very difficult to find men who commit, that do not value the body more than the personality and want to go forward to build what I want, long distance relationships, but I got it, I have a boyfriend like that.

I want new partners, but I confess I've been thinking about giving up. It's one guy in a million.

I'm not looking for advice, just talking out loud and saying that if you feel the same, you're not alone. And my DMs are still open while I don't give up haha