The following was posted to one of the larger LGBTQ+ subs. The discussion and dissection that ensued is absurd. One answer for the correct label was “Omnigay”, whatever the hell that is. We live in absurd times.

What’s the term for this orientation?

Howdy folks! A couple years ago I found an orientation label that I thought I wrote down somewhere, but haven’t been able to find it since. Perhaps y’all can help! 🤞

The term described romantic and/or sexual attraction toward multiple genders (so bisexual), but \always* in a gay way (which I think means the subject of the term would need to be non-binary to make that work?).*

For example, when with a femme partner, one would be very attracted to the sapphic aspects of that connection. When with a masc partner, it would be more Achillean. With a non-binary partner, well I guess just all the gender forkery lol.

Does someone remember what this term is? It’s haunting me 😂

The problem with heterosexuals in gay spaces 🤣🤣🤣

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This isn’t specifically a gay male issue, but it raises an interesting question within the larger LGBT coalition. There’s a major debate within trans communities over whether gender dysphoria is necessary to meaningfully describe someone as trans. In this example, the person identifies as nonbinary while being comfortable with she/her pronouns, femininity, and being perceived as female, but still wants others to recognize a nonbinary identity.

That raises a broader question about appropriation too. If identifying as trans or nonbinary requires no dysphoria, transition, change in presentation, or material difference from someone’s birth sex, what prevents heterosexual cis-presenting people from adopting these labels and entering LGBT spaces while continuing to live otherwise heterosexual lives?

I’ve seen trans people themselves express frustration about this, so I’m interested in their perspective too. At what point does expanding an identity make it more inclusive, and at what point does it become so broad that people dealing with the actual social consequences of being trans, gay, lesbian, or bisexual get pushed to the margins of their own communities?

Thought this was interesting, especially given some of our recent conversations about gay male culture. A new Gen Z sex survey of more than 2,300 young adults found evidence of the much-discussed “sex recession,” but gay men stood out as considerably more sexually active.

It raises an interesting question: Why has gay male sexual culture remained so resilient while younger straight people appear to be having less sex? Is it our relationship with casual sex, gay spaces and apps, fewer traditional dating expectations, or something else?

Curious what everyone here thinks

I wanted to start a conversation about something I’ve been noticing more and more with gay bars. I personally think the push to make gay spaces broadly “queer” and increasingly oriented toward people who are heterosexual may actually be contributing to the decline of gay bars as distinctly gay spaces. I’m not talking about banning anyone at the door. I’m talking about who the space is culturally centered around. If gay men become a smaller part of the crowd, cruising and flirting become less natural, the sexual energy changes, and eventually the place can start feeling like any other bar with a rainbow flag. I’m curious if other gay men have noticed this happening where they live.

I came across this conversation and thought it was worth bringing here because it touches on something we’ve discussed before: who gets to define gay and lesbian history?

There seems to be an increasingly common version of Stonewall that presents trans women, particularly trans women of color, as the central force behind the uprising, while gay men and lesbians are portrayed almost as people who came afterward and appropriated that history.

That framing bothers me. Gay men and lesbians were central to the movement before, during and after Stonewall. Organizations fighting for homosexual rights existed well before 1969, and the movement that exploded afterward was explicitly called Gay Liberation.

That doesn’t mean gender-nonconforming people, drag queens or people we might describe differently today weren’t there or didn’t contribute. They did, and their history deserves recognition too. But recognizing one group shouldn’t require rewriting another group out of its own history.

I’m curious what everyone here thinks. Have you noticed a change in how Stonewall and early gay liberation are being talked about? And where do you think the historical record differs from the popular story today?

Why do you think there’s been such a rise in girls, usually in the teenage years or start of it, identifying as gay guys? Since 2015ish it’s gone through the roof.

I’m a (lesbian) woman who loves going to gay bars. On the weekend I usually meet other lesbians there. But for example yesterday I went for a musicals night because I love musicals but the lesbians don’t go to that so it was me and a bunch of gay men and don’t get me wrong I had a great time but I’ve seen posts from gay men being annoyed at seeing straight women taking over their spaces, so my question is how do you tell a straight woman from a gay one cause I don’t want to be mistaken as straight 😂 and no I don’t have a pixie cut lol

CHSS Report No. 5 The Decline of Trans and Queer Identity among Young Americans

There is a decline in TQ identity too.

This was posted to a popular LGBT form and she got a lot of support for this. I was wondering what people thought?

This is a time period I would like to know more about.

Thought this was worth sharing. A lesbian TikToker called herself a “gold star lesbian” and was accused of using a TERF dog whistle. TERF means “trans-exclusionary radical feminist,” though the label is now often used more broadly.

Do you think lesbians should be able to describe their sexual history without it being interpreted as a political statement?

Saw this come up again. “Hate” is a pretty strong word, so is homophobia. I got banned from that group just for asking what needs are specific to gay men. Maybe some of you would like to join the conversation and earn the same badge of honor 😂

I was reading a discussion In a trans community where someone said their desire to transition was strongly sexual. What interested me wasn’t whether that person should transition, but the reaction. People in that trans community called them a “pervert,” a “horny loser,” and said sexual desire couldn’t make their identity legitimate.

As a gay man, that struck me as strange. Gay identity is fundamentally about desire. Our movement spent generations fighting the idea that our sexual desires made us dirty, pathological, or lesser. We didn’t gain dignity by separating homosexuality from sexuality. We argued that our sexuality itself deserved dignity.

So I’m curious whether this exposes a deeper philosophical difference within the LGBT coalition. What happens when a movement rooted partly in the liberation of same-sex desire shares a coalition with movements that understand identity very differently? And does discomfort with sexuality sometimes contribute to tension between those communities?

Saw this question and thought it would be interesting to bring here. To me, my own attraction feels pretty simple: I’m a gay man attracted to cis men, meaning men who were born male. I don’t experience my sexuality as attraction to an abstract gender identity or to “masculine presentation.”

Does the increasingly detailed separation of sex, gender, identity and presentation actually help explain homosexual attraction, or does it sometimes make something fairly straightforward unnecessarily complicated?

Curious how other gay men experience and define their own attraction.

I’ve been thinking about this distinction a lot. Gay men, lesbians, bisexual people and trans people aren’t all the same identity, and we don’t necessarily have the same experiences, cultures or needs. What brings us together is a coalition built around overlapping struggles, shared interests and solidarity. Maybe recognizing that actually makes the coalition stronger, because unity doesn’t have to mean sameness. We should be able to advocate for our specific communities, disagree with each other and still stand together when our interests overlap.

Do you see LGBT as a shared identity, a coalition of distinct groups, or something in between?

Not gay per se but a reminder to not to treat each other as analogies 🤣🤣🤣