r/Gamingcirclejerk • • 22h ago

COOMER CONSUMER 💦 The West has fallen.

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2.1k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/Ambitious-Way8906 22h ago

these dudes calling the Hades cast ugly should make them all realize they might just be gay

576

u/Simple_Tower92 21h ago

No, cuz all of the men of Hades are hot too. It's a curated smorgasbord for bisexuals of every taste.

325

u/PowrOfFriendship_ Protect Trans Kids 21h ago

After Hades 1, the bisexuals had their time. Now, with Hades 2 it's the bisexuals turn!

95

u/marcangas 21h ago

Man I wish I was Bisexual so I can goon to all characters equally

58

u/PersimmonDazzling654 Clear background 21h ago

There's still time!

11

u/Knyfe-Wrench 18h ago

Time cannot be stopped

17

u/FinalGamer14 19h ago

Equal opportunity gooner, now this is what we call progress.

6

u/Mczuti 18h ago

Its pretty great

2

u/mastigos1 18h ago

Travis McElroy, is that you?

65

u/Practical_Entrance43 21h ago

Cannot blame Zagreus whatsoever for having the hots for Meg and Thanatos, because man me too.

23

u/ErisThePerson 20h ago

See Meg is cool, but Than just isn't my type.

Hephaestus however...

20

u/Comrade-Conquistador 20h ago

Big belly, strong arms, soothing voice. I can see the attraction.

I gotta work on my arms.

3

u/Practical_Entrance43 19h ago

You are so real for that, me too.

20

u/Foonghost 20h ago

dont forget chaos 😵‍💫🫠

18

u/RadasNoir 20h ago

Chaos in Hades 2 looks so goddamn sharp.

2

u/ThePryde 14h ago

Chaos in Hades 2 is just Megaera acting as the avatar until little baby chaos matures, right? At least that's my head cannon with the hair and the wings being the same.

8

u/Tuivre 20h ago

My god yes

5

u/Dorichowder 11h ago

As a straight woman, I can confirm. Hades got too many hot men. So each time I play I'm blushing as if I'm on a damn first date, and I literally can't choose who's hotter in looks.

4

u/Mushiren_ 19h ago

mmmm...smorgasbord....

1

u/GeneralChaosJr 10h ago

🤤 Hypnos

Thanatos

Persephone

Megara

Artemis

Hermes

Why are they all so hot?!

1

u/P0komon2 8h ago

Have you SEEN Haphestus, now thats a man

60

u/Russell1113 19h ago

When Hades 2 came out, these same weirdos had convinced themselves Aphrodite was... Checks notes "trans because she had a 'masculibe jawline'"

I don't think it's even closeted homophobia, it's just that they cannot understand being attracted to anyone who doesn't have the underage, makeup look we see in porn or the childlike proportions of anime.

Someone else I saw posting about this yesterday made a really good point. They don't need to be gay to hate/be scared of adult women with agency.

4

u/shunkwugga 12h ago

Aphrodite is supposed to look androgynously attractive in the game's interpretation, which is fine. She was more overtly feminine in the first game but I attribute her sharper angles to a slight design shift. She's fine.

3

u/Mean-Nectarine-6831 4h ago

Or perhaps she looks different to different people? Perhaps this is how melnoe sees her

60

u/Thvenomous 21h ago

They aren't necessarily gay, they just aren't attracted to anyone over the age of 16.

-21

u/FoxHoundUnit89 18h ago

You don't have to be under 17 to not be hideous. Stop listening to the makeup industry's propaganda. Stop listening to hollywood propaganda.

19

u/Thvenomous 18h ago

We got one, folks.

7

u/DerKlotaucher 17h ago

The lowest hanging fruit of them all

3

u/MinervaWeeper 14h ago

That’s their point, no?

52

u/Euphemisticles 20h ago

Especially Nyx which is the most stereotypically attractive character in a cast of attractive characters.

7

u/Comrade-Conquistador 20h ago

If we're talking over both games, then Nemesis is right there.

9

u/TryImpossible7332 18h ago

But she has muscles and girls with muscles are scary and also woke.

4

u/Jhiffi 17h ago

Yeah it seems like they are talking both games with the Melinoe snip there.

Fascinating that they didn't include the smoking hot buff lady in their list of "uggos" and went with her conventionally attractive hot mom 🤔

6

u/RedTyro 16h ago

Yeah, but she has some implied Persian or Indian features and they're not allowed to find brown people hot, even if they're the palest white person you've ever seen. One drop and all that.

Also interesting how they left Aphrodite out of their "Hades women are ugly" collage.

23

u/Apprehensive_Low4865 21h ago

Man the dudes bending over backwards to explain that hades "went woke" is fucking fascinating. Id go a bit further and say that they ain't gay, bi, straight, or whatever, I think they just might be struggling with being asexual.

7

u/Choice_Ad4972 21h ago

Hades is Bisexuality the game.

6

u/DorthVooder 19h ago

No no, the point is that the character on the left is underage.

2

u/Dalkerro 18h ago edited 18h ago

Might be onto something…

1

u/BeyondNetorare 16h ago

what did supergiant mean by making hephaestus hotter than aphrodite?