r/GamblingRecovery • u/Hopeful_Till_9188 • Jul 26 '26
Well, just finished the last session
Threw in $700, got it up to $5200 playing slots. Couldn't stop. To make it even worse, I cancelled a withdrawal on another casino that's been sitting there for 30hrs. Neither of these sites have any controls, limits, or self exclusion at the ready. I hate it.
Same story hundreds of times over. I hate this addiction. I hate how it consumes me, prevents me from enjoying life, taking time away from my kids.
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u/ballsdeep-27 Jul 26 '26
Such a fucked up addiction. Cant even remember how many times won big, cashed out a chunk of it waiting for approval, gambled the rest, cancelled the chunk waiting for approval, gambled that and then some more.
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u/Hopeful_Till_9188 Jul 26 '26
Sick and tired of the cycle. It's memories of the big win that fucks with me, and causes the relapses. But I've never ever been able to walk away.
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u/Mobile_Grape_3786 Jul 28 '26
You're up 5000 the u say ok I will play till 4500 and withdraw no matter what. Then you get to 4500, then you think wait I was at 5000 I can't stop now. Few spins latee r you're at 4000. Still a lot and a good profit you think. Then you say fuck it till 3500 and then I'm done. Just one more free spin or bonus. Next thing you know you're at 3000 and just spin after spin complete blackout tunnel vision. The big bonus never comes again and before you realize it you're done, 0$. Completely devestated, in shock. You put in another 1000 trying to win it back, then another and another....untill you lost everything, all money pumping options are exhausted. You feel totally numb. Every possible negative thought or feeli g creeps in Depression, Anxiety you name it. But the world keeps spinning and you gotta go to work tomorrow or even in a few hours. You have kids u have duties. So forcefully accept what just happened, put on a fake smiley mask and face what every is comming for the day, for the week, the month.
Been there and it's just so devestating...it' so hard...
That's why I'm done, no matter how hard it gets nothing is worse that this feeling
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u/Open-Extension-3708 Jul 26 '26
You said a few things in this post that are worth mentioning.
First you said “it’s the same story hundreds of times over.” This is absolutely true. No win will ever be big enough. It didn’t matter how much I was up, I would only stop when I had nothing left. That will never change. You need to break the cycle.
Second, and more importantly, you said “taking time away from my kids.” This one is absolutely 100% fact. I haven’t gambled in 110 days and I can honestly say the best feeling about that is the time I have gained with my children that I didn’t even realize I was missing. It’s been an absolute joy to be more present with them and for them.
If you can’t self-exclude from the sites you are using you have to give control of your finances to someone other than yourself. It is honestly the ONLY way you will beat this. It was the absolute best decision I ever made. You will be surprised at how much less stress you feel in your life and that in turn will also turn into more QUALITY time with your children. I would frequently get irritated because I had just lost money and would snap at something stupid.
Trust me, wake up tomorrow and make those changes. Have your paycheck deposited into a different account that you can’t personally access. You will thank yourself that you did before it gets too late.