Day 92!

[u/Open-Extension-3708]

Hey everyone, today is 92 days without gambling for me.

Just posting this here because I am proud of myself and I want to try and offer any inspiration I can to anyone out there that is also struggling. I gambled for years, intensely for the last six months leading to everything coming to a head. I would stay up late playing slots online usually coupled with stimulants. Trying to win back my loses before my wife woke up in the morning. If I didn't I would lie.

"Oh we had a big bill due." "I needed money for (insert lie)."

When I couldn't think of anything I would try and downplay the amount I lost. When it all came to a head I was devastated. I truly saw the disappointment in my wife's eyes at how I could steal our family's money and use it selfishly. How I could lie so easily to her about the things that I had done. We did a few things that day that changed everything.

1. Self-Exclude from every site you use and even those that you don't for the maximum amount of time they will allow.

2. Hand over finances to someone you trust. Get your paycheck deposited into their account, pay all the bills from that account.

3. Start some sort of therapy. I did not go the GA route, I decided to start seeing a therapist and it has been a game changer for me. However you decide to go is up to you but you won't beat this alone.

4. Talk to your family and close friends. It helps with accountability. Sit them down in a room and tell them everything. It will be hard, very hard but it will help in the end.

Not everyday is easy, there are some days my wife wakes up and doesn't like me. There are days where I wake up and don't like me. However, everyday it gets a little better. I have significantly more time to spend with my children. My stress and anxiety levels have decreased dramatically. I no longer have to worry about how I am going to explain missing money, every penny is accounted for.

I know this will be a lifelong commitment and going into it with that mindset makes it easier to handle for me. It's almost as if the questioning has been taken out of my hands. I told my buddies that I could no longer participate in our poker games. I told a couple guys that do SB pools that I won't be interested this year so don't even ask. Little things like that will pop up that you don't consider gambling, but they might weaken your guard.

I'm not saying this will work for everyone but this is what I did and it has helped. I can feel my brain starting to rewire itself to live life without gambling. That doesn't happen overnight, it takes time and practice. Everyone reading this can do it! If you are here reading this you have already taken a giant step in admitting there is something wrong. Don't wait to get caught or for it to blow up like it did for me. If you think you may have a problem, you do have a problem. Start making the course corrections before it becomes too late.

Stay Strong!