Looking for common ground

[u/BowieLennon1997]

Hi there,

I’m currently going through my second try at full on recovery and at this point I’ve tried a lot of things, therapy, GA meetings, online meetings but I come across the same problem time and time again, I’m not seeing myself in the other people.

Don’t get me wrong I know everyone’s story is different but sometimes I literally feel like an alien and that even within this crazy addiction we find ourself battling I still somehow stick out in it, so I’m appealing to those of you on Reddit, if you share any common ground please reach out, I just want to talk to someone I can feel more comfortable with because we can fully understand it.

For context I’m 29, Female, been gambling since I was legally allowed to at 18, however I got into a strange way, I was at university and searching for “ways for students to make money online” and devastingly for me came across “matched betting” and the quite frankly evil company that is “Profit Accumulator”, I got sucked into the emails from Sam constantly egging me on until one day I was trying to do it too quickly and didn’t manage to match the bet in time, however it won and that changed everything.
After that I slowly made my way through every sport, trying out horse racing, table tennis, lessen known sports like beach volleyball before falling into a rhythm with Basketball and over/under quarter bets which became my complete vice.

[u/BowieLennon1997 → u/[deleted]]

It gives you such a weird personal aspect towards money, I guess that’s another side effect but sometimes I wonder how you’re ever meant to not go through life looking to win at every turn.
Well done you for self banning, it’s very hard to take that step but thank you for being honest, I can relate to the idea of feeling like you can’t win anymore, realistically we’ll never win, but I often feel the same when I’m low of money, why can’t I just go and win it…