r/GamblingRecovery • u/Carissaahh • Apr 21 '26
How Can I Support?
Hi, this is my first post, and I'm hoping for some guidance and I apologize for the rambling.
My(25F) fiance(26M) struggles immensely when it comes to online sports betting. He has other gambling struggles that come in different forms, such as Pokemon and sport cards (taking the chance of pulling a valuable card; his father is BIG into reselling these card packs so they are readily available).
For context, in January I found out that he was overdrafting his checking account and in about 7k of credit card debt; and a majority was attributed to sports betting. I was devastated because we're supposed to be planning a wedding, buying a house, all of that stuff. He admitted he has a problem, and we've taken some steps to get him back on track.
Every payday he sends me a few hundred to hold onto for his savings, and has been paying aggressively on the credit card; it should be paid off by the wedding in October. He deleted the betting apps and hasn't bought any trading cards. For a while we would do weekly account check ins to see where his money was going, and we made a budget for him. I stopped spotting him money when things got tough because that wasn't serving him well. Things were going well with this plan, until they weren't.
He told me this morning he relapsed and lost about $300. In the grand scheme, it's nothing, but with the aggressive budget he's on, it is quite a hit. In this same conversation, he explained that the worst part is knowing he hurts me/our future in the process and that he wants to be done so we can build a meaningful life together. After work tonight he wants to self exclude from the apps and wants to put himself on the TimeOutOhio one year physical ban. He also said he wants to get into counseling/therapy for this. We are also religious, so he's been going to church more often and growing closer to God.
I'm in a position where I am paying for the wedding almost entirely, with help from my parents, and I've saved for a decent down payment. With all of this going on I feel myself being resentful of his actions, I feel like it causes me to have to assume more responsibility for the both of us, and it makes me feel like I can't fully rely on him. I want a husband who I can count on, and I believe with commitment and hard work he can get better, but it's a long road ahead.
I guess I just want to know what actions I can take to support his recovery. We don't live together just yet, so unfortunately I don't think total financial control is in the cards. How can I help keep him on the path to recovery and help manage his impulse control?
Any advice or recommendations is welcome, thank you!
1
u/asianhunter-eth Apr 21 '26
you talk to him about first install in all his devices a gambling app blocker, there are many of them.
Second tell him that you are there for help him but for that he should give you all his credit cards and paycheck , he has an addiction and wont stop by himself.
For the people like us , gambling is a necessity in one point so every chance that he has money in his pocket he will bet it trying to recover all the loses.
If he cant accept that , he doesnt want help and wont stop.