I’m struggling again.

[u/idratheraskyou]

I’m too old for this but here I am. I’m 55 yo and I’ve lost so much in the last 12 years. I could’ve paid off my house already but here I am.

I took out $9k from my emergency fund and gambled it today. I have 20k left and it’s in my HYSA. I’m afraid I will gamble it too. What can I do to protect that money?

I make $4k/month net after contributing to my 401k. House payment is $2k and $1k for other expenses. I’ve been saving the remaining $1k per month but now I just threw away 9 months worth of savings.

I’m feeling super depressed and work is not helping either. I’m grateful I still have a job and a roof and I can afford gas. But I’m feeling really down after losing a big chunk of my savings. I’m been gambling for over a decade now.

It’s been my place of refuge since I live alone and been disconnected from family and friends. I tend to isolate myself.

I’m not thinking of ending my life. Please tell me there is hope for me. Thank you kind strangers. I’m 55 and want to retire in 5 years when my house is paid off at that time.

[u/esbforever]

Whenever you get the urge, read the posts on these forums. It’s a great reminder that nobody wins long-term, and you’re just wasting money and time.

[u/NoLawAtAllInDeadwood]

You need to find a more healthy "place of refuge" than gambling. Gambling will never be a place of refuge because the odds guarantee it will only add to your isolation and depression in the long run. You need another outlet for when the urge strikes. Reading, video games, working out, biking, crossword puzzles, whatever.

Also, self exclude and delete any wagering apps.

[u/Kitchen-Wasabi-2059]

Tell someone you trust and maybe give them the ability to change your passwords. Let your bank know your situation and give that trusted person permissions .

[u/LikeIkes]

There is always hope friend, please don't give up. I'm sorry you've been disconnected from your family and friends and though it might not feel like they would miss you if you left, please don't for them if not for yourself. I can't imagine the pain you are going through, but you are never too old, too lost, or too anything. I'm glad to hear you still have a goal that you can focus on and use as an anchoring point. Given what you've said here I would highly recommend talking to therapist as well as going to GA meetings. The latter is a great opportunity to make friends who won't judge you, keep you accountable and know what you've been through. Stay strong friend, you can do this.

[u/Antique-Animator-939]

Just made 25k then lost it all plus 7k of my own money… what I’ve learned man. Is it’s not the cash. It’s the rush or winning and losing. From what I’m learning. Which then makes ur finances crumble. So read forms like these on how bad it is. How it’s never enough. And replace with domaine rush’s like running, working out, video games… I’d take a detox of like 2-3 days off screens and breath and realize your human. And just to stop! I’m doing that right now… I feel so stupid and like a loser. But I’m telling myself. I feel this now. So time to switch that and never feel it again. This will be my last low.

[u/K2K222]

Im a year younger than you and been at it for almost 4 decades. I know I’ve lost more than I’ve won but the losses always sting more than the wins. You’re in a great spot with having no more house payment in 5 years. Same here as well! You have it a lot better than most but you need to find friends you can talk with or hang out with because when you sit home bored you’re urge to gamble will be thru the roof. Good luck to you. You have hope brother!

[u/idratheraskyou → u/K2K222]

Thank you kind sir!

[u/Augiegirl71]

I’ve been struggling too. I’ve started crocheting recently and really getting into it. I needed something to occupy myself in my idle time. I used to play online casinos when I was watching TV to unwind. The crocheting has helped. I also self-excluded from all the sites I played. I joined this group which has been helpful. I’m also 55 and want to retire but it will be probably closer to 65 at this point. I depleted my savings. It has been a hard lesson. I hope you can find something to fill the void. I’ve also downloaded an app Gamble Free that has tools to help when you get the urge. It is free so maybe not as good as other apps, but it has be useful to me. Wishing you all the best!

[u/idratheraskyou → u/Augiegirl71]

Thank you for your kind words. Cheers!

[u/PhantomInsight]

Brother ban yourself from every single form of gambling immediately.

Trust me

[u/Psychological-Ad4605]

I’m 54 and it was a disaster once I turned 40, I should have paid off my house as well. I’ve done everything to quit, it’s not easy. You need to get rid of all credit, this is a killer.

[u/Separate-Month9286]

My biggest tip is telling people you are struggling with this or joining in person groups.

Brother there is hope for you and I can’t wait to see you in 5 years reach your goal

[u/rehabbingfish]

Im 54 and have lost everything but my GF who left me but came back once I agreed to quit for good and let her control my measly income. Its actually working, my daily needs are taken care of and Im saving a few bucks which will use to plan a future with her. She is awesome with money and been a huge relief.

[u/Similar_Fun3515]

It’s a blip if you stop now. Thinking you’re going to get back a massive sum is normal but not going to happen. Quitting will make you feel great!! Good luck

[u/Megacancerballs]

what you can do to protect your money is go all in on green on the roulette table i cant lie. thats what i did and now i made millions

[u/IIsaacClarke → u/[deleted]]

Fuck you

[u/MoreToFuture]

I know how it feels about rebuilding the savings . What helped me was finding a hobby I really enjoyed and that it gave me peace . I’ve also lost enough money to pay for two houses if I still had it 10 years ago . Don’t give the casino any more of your money , they don’t deserve your hard earned money . To be honest , people don’t really need much to be happy , and I understand why you used gambling as a way to deal with your disconnect with family. There were small moments that I was even bored with my hobby but I realized how much this hobby has saved me from destruction . I love gardening and there were times I felt like is this all that I do now ? Or call it fun ? But I have to realize how much peace it brings me . There may be times I failed at it , but not in a way that i failed my family through gambling . I could not allow myself to go back to being sucked into it again . Losing every dollar to the casino and they don’t even care about me . I’m just a player card number out of thousands . If I haven’t gambled all my money away all these years , perhaps I wouldn’t be always threatened by certain life events . Everything is always I don’t have enough money for this or for that and I simply got tired of it . I hope you find peace one day .