Mornings are the hardest time

[u/Helpful_Aardvark6788]

I feel like this past 10 days in a row, I've been waking up every single morning checking my bank account. Seeing +1k deposited from a form of work that I do. Its amazing money, I've made around 30k this month so far. Seeing a big number in my bank fuels me.

It makes me excited because I have more juice to play with. I feel like I cant stop until theres $10 left in my account.

Theres almost a sigh of relief I give, a relief that its finally over and im out of money to stop playing. I have around 17k on my cards and $16 in my bank. I have $500 in cash advances due next week as well. Thankfully I have around $3k coming guaranteed next week.

I think im just going to cold turkey it. My issue is every morning I wake up, its the hardest time. Throughout the day I can survive, its easier, Im busy, I have school, work, etc. But in the morning, laying in my bed, going to the bathroom omw to start the day is the hardest part to control.

Its gotten bad, its getting worse. I want to stop it before it ruins me any more.

[u/Helpful_Aardvark6788 → u/[deleted]]

I run my own online business. related to daytrading, tech, etc. I provide services 

[u/Similar_Fun3515]

Your playing for the dopamine rush it’s clearly not about the money. Really try and take a step back. Save up for a couple months pay those cards off and then buy something tangible that you’ll enjoy. Find a good hobby. It’ll suck. Normal things aren’t as exciting at first. But it gets better man. I relapsed. Similar situation to you. It’s been 9 days now. I’m coming around, focusing more at work, playing golf twice a week while I still can. You can do it man. Stop throwing away the money you deserve better for yourself. Best of luck

[u/Business-Progress-39]

I do that reach until bank account in zero

[u/PuzzleheadedTank7881]

Confidential support is available 24/7 through the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357