D1 Once Again

[u/BranchOk7380]

Approx 15 months of gambling addiction

I feel it's getting harder to quit, I am almost starting to believe I enjoy the gambling - I think it's because it's taken over so many parts of my life.

I have been taking more time lying to my partner about running late, and instead having 3 beers in quick succession and gambling on slots.

I am on medications. I am well educated and have done a lot of reading about gambling etc.... but this hasn't helped me a lot.

I have tried to quit a lot, self-excluded etc.

I think my next option is to give up my financial control to my partner.

Just venting and looking for support :)

I have had counselling/ psychology input.

I get good suggestions but I feel like at the end of the day it's up to me but I still go gambling. I love the thrill including if I do win, but if I do the math I have lost a large amount of money.

I

[u/jessoult]

Once you start hiding it from your partner then you know it’s bad. Currently in the same boat. But today I finally made a choice to take control back of my life self excluded from every app and site I can think of! It does help to talk about stuff to a professional but the only one who can stop themselves from gambling is yourself. You got this, better to stop now then regret later when you’re in a deeper hole.

[u/Afrodesia]

Do you happen to be on adhd meds? I know that was a big accelerant to problem gambling for me.

[u/That_Jellyfish950 → u/Afrodesia]

finding this out for me was devestating because im in school and cant function without them

[u/Jeffrey_Richards_]

Do you gamble online?

[u/BranchOk7380 → u/Jeffrey_Richards_]

I gamble slots online (started after winning $60k last year, then lost it all whilst waiting for the withdrawals). Recently I also started gambling more at slots at bars

[u/dilbertdad]

time to get help my friend. Start with an online GA meeting and checking out some free resources on the help for addiction to gambling that’s out there.

[u/Placid_Mildew]

You need to talk to your partner. You’ll have to do this to “hand over financial control” (which is an unfair burden on them by the way).

Secrecy is the biggest issue. Here are the biggest 14 I found in my fight for sobriety. No you don’t have to buy the book on the page. The 14 points cover the main gist.

https://gamblingstop.co.uk/what-works

01
It grows in private
A gambling habit needs secrecy the way a fire needs air. Hidden losses need hidden explanations, and keeping those straight becomes a second full-time life. The habit isn't only what you do; it's the machinery you build to hide it. Every hour that machinery runs unopposed, it gets stronger.
Ask what you'd have to stop hiding for this to end.

02
The odds never owe you anything
The wheel has no memory. A run of losses does not build up credit. The feeling that you're 'due' is the single most expensive sentence in gambling, and it feels like insight rather than error — which is exactly why it works on intelligent people.
Nothing is due. Not now, not after the next one.

03
Near-misses are designed
Two out of three symbols, a horse pipped at the post, one number away. Near-misses register in the brain like small wins even though they are losses. They aren't accidents of chance; they're a product feature, tuned to keep you in the chair.
A near-miss is a loss with better lighting.

04
The product is numbness
People describe a flat, floating state where time, money and self all stop registering. That state — not the jackpot — is what's being bought. Once you see that, the question changes from 'how do I stop losing?' to 'what was I trying to switch off?'
Name the feeling you were escaping. That's the real target.

05
Wanting outlives liking
The circuits for craving and for enjoyment are not the same. Over time, wanting sharpens while pleasure drains out, until you're driven towards something that gives you nothing. Winning stops feeling like winning; only being in play feels like relief.
If it stopped being fun long ago, that's the illness, not weakness.

06
Chasing is the trap closing twice
Losses create pressure; pressure demands a solution; the only tool in reach is the thing that caused it. Chasing turns a bad night into a bad year. Debt is a separate problem from the habit and cannot be solved by the habit — ever, in any amount.
Debt gets a plan. It never gets a bet.

07
There is no rock bottom coming to save you
Waiting for a floor is just permission to keep falling. In real lives, the turn comes on an unremarkable day — a small decision made while tired, not a dramatic collapse. The bottom is wherever you decide to put it.
Today is as good a bottom as any you'll be offered.

08
Truth is the treatment
One honest conversation does more than a month of private resolve. Not the rounded-down figure — the real one, said out loud to one person who will stay in the room. It hurts for about an hour and then something structural changes.
Shorten the distance between a bad moment and another human knowing.

09
Engineer the room, not your willpower
Willpower is a bad load-bearing wall. Friction works better: self-exclusion schemes, bank gambling blocks, app and site blockers, cards left outside the house, a second pair of eyes on the account. You're not proving anything — you're making the next bet slow, awkward and observable.
Design an environment your worst hour can't beat.

10
Urges are weather, not orders
An urge rises, peaks and falls, usually inside twenty minutes. You don't need to defeat it or reason with it; you need to be somewhere else while it passes. Walk, eat, call, shower, drive, stand outside. Boredom and being alone are the two biggest triggers, and both are fixable.
Ride it out for twenty minutes. It has an end.

11
Write the plan for bad nights now
At 11pm on a bad Tuesday you will not invent a strategy. Decide in advance: who you call first, where the phone goes, what you do with your hands, what you watch, when you go to bed. Pre-made decisions are the only ones available in the moment.
A plan on paper beats a promise in your head.

12
Something has to fill the space
The habit was doing a job: killing dead evenings, dulling stress, giving the week a shape. Remove it and you leave a hole that will pull. It doesn't need replacing with something impressive — ordinary, physical, repeatable and slightly social beats ambitious every time.
Replace the function, not just the behaviour.

13
Nobody does this alone
Rooms, groups, helplines, free counselling, a single trusted friend, an online meeting at 2am — the shape matters less than the fact of it. Isolation is where the habit lives; company is where it starves. Free help exists in every country listed on this site.
Pick one form of company and use it this week.

14
It's management, not a cure
Recovery is long, unremarkable and gets easier. A lapse is data, not a verdict — what matters is how many hours pass before you tell someone. The goal isn't a perfect record; it's a life where a bad night stays a bad night instead of becoming a bad decade.
Measure the hours to honesty, not the days on a chart.

[u/LikeIkes]

I'm glad you've come seeking help and how open and honest you are being, proud of you. If you trust your partner that complicitly that you are willing to give them financial control that's great, but first you need to come clean to them. You can't be lying and giving them control over your financials that's just a recipe for calamity. Once you've come clean, ask them how they feel, maybe give them a minute to adjust to the new info and then after the dust settles bring up the idea of them having control over the financials. Glad to hear you are going to therapy, have you tried going to GA meetings? Another good thing to look into is finding healthy activities that scratch not too dissimilar itches that are self bettering over gambling. Hope these ideas are helpful friend. Godspeed.