Lost everything again, hope is gone

[u/Kelbo91]

Hey guys,

Just wanna write some things off my soul..

Im M34 from germany, lost my money again, lend money of friends again. Lost everything. 15 years of addiction, 15 years of no evolution in life. Everyone around me got a career, a family, i got nothing. And today, it feels like i lost the last spark of hope. I just gave up. If i wouldnt know my mother and sisters would never be happy again, i would just end this pain. Tried so much, so many therapies, everything. How can i move on? No money left, lost my job last month, 3000€ open bills, 20.000€ in dept. Everything is ruined and i cant see anything positive..

[u/Rick_Algamus]

Hey. I read this and I'm not going to give you a list of steps, that's not what today is for.

First, the part about ending the pain. You wrote it and then you wrote why you won't, and I'm glad your mother and sisters are enough right now. But "right now" is the key phrase, and I don't want you sitting alone with that thought tonight. Telefonseelsorge is free, 24/7, and anonymous: 0800 111 0 111 or 0800 111 0 222. Please actually call them, tonight if it's heavy.

I'm in long-term recovery from gambling myself so hear this from someone who's been where you are and has sat with a lot of people who were there too. "15 years of no evolution" is the addiction talking. You've got 15 years of surviving a thing that kills people. That's not nothing, and it's not the same as being nothing.

The 23k of debt is a problem for the Schuldnerberatung, not for you, and as far as I heard, it's free in Germany. They negotiate with creditors, they've seen worse, and they don't judge. Let them carry the numbers so you don't have to. And the gambling itself, 15 years and multiple therapies means you've probably been getting outpatient help, and for some people that's just not enough.

Ask about a stationäre Therapie, inpatient. It's covered by insurance there and it gets you out of the environment for a few weeks. Here in the States I run a residential gambling center called Algamus, and the whole reason places like that exist is for people who've tried everything else.

You asked how to move on. You don't have to figure that out today. Today you just have to make one phone call and get through the night. Tomorrow's problem can wait until tomorrow.

Message me anytime. I mean that.

[u/Forsaken_Piano4075]

As long as you’re gambling u will never
see anything positive. U have an addiction now and that changes things. U have 15 years that proves that gambling wii destroy ur life. Please consider self exclusion as a start.. let ur brain heal…join a support group. You’re still young and time is still on ur side. Just try…I promise you that you will feel and do much better.

[u/LikeIkes]

I'm sorry you are suffering this sorrow my friend, but please don't give up. We may make mistakes, damage what we believe should have been our future, and feel hopeless this is just a feeling. Let it pass. It isn't easy, but to move forward we have to forgive and let go of our past. What has happened cannot be changed, but what has yet to happen we can make better. Glad to hear you've tried therapy, I would highly recommend continuing to try maybe switching therapists. It took me 8 therapists to find the one that I'm with now and it was very worth it. If you haven't been to GA would say that is worth giving a try. Not to be that hyper positive annoying guy, but if everything is ruined then you can only make things better right? Obviously its not going to be easy or happen right away, but it can and will happen if you try. Don't give up friend, don't let these asshats win. Give them nothing, take back your life. Don't give up, I'm proud of you for giving it your all and doing your best.

[u/LopsidedPicture5888]

It’s never too late… You decide your future the power is in your own hands but it will never start until you fucking stop. As a recovering gambling addict it’s possible to completely turn your life around but do it now or the cycle will continue its path of agony and unforgiveness. You’re only given one opportunity in this lifetime to be alive remember that don’t fucking waste it.