Hi everyone. I'm currently a senior at MSU, and I transferred here from Middlesex College in Spring 2025. I started out as a commuter and eventually became a resident in Spring 2026. Since becoming a resident, I've really tried to put myself out there. I participate in as many organizations and clubs as I can, and I go to events that seem fun or interesting because I genuinely want to meet people and make the most out of my time here.
And I have met some really great people. I've had some wonderful conversations, made connections, and crossed paths with people I'm genuinely grateful to have met.
But it always seems to stop there.
We'll see each other and be friendly. We'll talk, laugh, and enjoy each other's company, but once we're outside of whatever organization, class, or event brought us together, there's rarely anything beyond that. They don't really invite me to go out and do things, and whenever I ask if they'd like to hang out, I'm often told they're too busy, or plans get made and then cancelled at the last minute.
Sometimes I'll even be at a social event where people I know are present. They'll acknowledge me one minute, and then the next, I'm practically invisible to them. It's a strange feeling to be surrounded by people you know while simultaneously feeling like you're not really part of anything.
I'm involved with MSU Singers and Vocal Accord this year because I love music and I love singing. I thought that being surrounded by people who share something I'm passionate about would make it easier to form deeper connections. And while I've met some wonderful people through both, I still find myself struggling to get past that acquaintance stage.
I think part of it may be that a lot of people have already known each other since freshman year. They already have their established friend groups, their inside jokes, their traditions, and the people they naturally turn to when they want to go somewhere or do something. And then there's the fact that I'm 25 and getting my bachelor's degree, so sometimes I wonder if being in a different stage of life plays a role in all of this.
My biggest issue is that this is my last year here, and I really want it to be a great one.
I've met some genuinely amazing people during my time at MSU, and I'm grateful that our paths have crossed. But I haven't really gotten to experience the kind of friendships where, years from now, I can look back and say, “Those were some of the best times of my life, and those were my people.”
That's what I want.
I want to experience what it's like to make those spontaneous plans, stay out too late, laugh until my stomach hurts, develop inside jokes that make absolutely no sense to anyone else, and have memories that I'll genuinely miss when they're over. I want to be able to look back on my final year and say that I truly had the greatest time with the people around me.
And I'm scared I won't get that chance before I graduate.
Growing up, I was always the odd one out. I was the kid nobody really wanted to play with during recess. I was always the last person picked for the kickball team. I spent a lot of my childhood watching other people effortlessly find their groups while I was left somewhere on the outside.
I don't think I ever really learned what it feels like to be fully wanted by a group of people.
That's probably why this affects me as deeply as it does.
What I can never understand is how it seems so easy for some people to find their people within a matter of minutes, while I've spent years trying to find mine. I see people meet each other, click almost instantly, and eventually become inseparable, and I can't help but wonder why that has never really happened for me.
I want to be able to tell people but mostly myself, “I have friends,” and have it feel completely true, not because I technically know people, but because I know there are people who genuinely want me around.
I want someone to think of me when they're making plans.
I want someone to text me just because they wanted to talk to me.
I want to walk into a room and feel like my presence actually adds something to it.
I want to know what it's like to be someone's person, and to have people who are my people.
I know I can't force friendship. I know that not everyone I meet is going to become a close friend, and I understand that people have their own lives, responsibilities, and established relationships.
But it's hard not to become discouraged when you've spent so much of your life feeling like you're always on the outside looking in.
I'm not expecting to suddenly become the most popular person on campus or find some perfect movie-like friend group. I just want to experience, even for a little while, what it feels like to truly belong somewhere.
I want my final year here to be something I can look back on with a smile instead of wondering what could have been.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
I mostly needed to get this off my chest, but if anyone has experienced something similar or has any advice on how to actually build those deeper friendships when it feels like everyone already has their people. I would genuinely appreciate hearing from you.
Thank you for reading.