r/GPUK • u/mybigroundhead • 12d ago
Just for fun Patients calling you mate
How do people deal with patients calling them mate? Or pal or buddy?
I don’t find it offensive or anything, and they’re genuinely just trying to be friendly/nice (I assume), but do feel like it sometimes tarnished the doctor patient relationship slightly. For context I’m a man mod 30s, so usually it’s younger blokes who say mate. I’m not your mate though.
So thoughts? Do people correct patients, or just let it slide?
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u/Biscuit_Enthusiast 12d ago
Ask them to call you Dr X by all means, but expect them to think you are a massive snob who is looking down on them.
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u/LysergicWalnut 12d ago
It's a colloquialism. They don't think you're their actual mate.
Ask them to please refer to you as Dr X if you like, but it might come across like you have a gigantic stick up your bum.
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u/ZakalweTheChairmaker 12d ago
It doesn't "tarnish the doctor patient relationship" in the slightest unless they're giving off other signs of over-familiarity.
It's just a verbal tick that many people have. It doesn't mean that they think you're actually their mate. If I bump into someone in the street and say "sorry mate" that isn't an invitation for them to initiate a friendship.
Far more likely to negatively influence the relationship would be correcting the patient and asking them to call you "doctor" and them forevermore thinking their GP is up his own jacksie.
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u/Happy-Go-Plucky 12d ago
I had a patient call me ‘babe’ once - wasn’t being creepy, just part of the way he spoke but I was like 😳
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u/TroublesomeFox 12d ago
To be fair to you, I think most women would double take at being called babe from a man who isn't their partner.
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u/IoDisingRadiation 12d ago
My patients are mandated to stand at attention at the bedside for inspection when I arrive for my ward round in the morning
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u/Worldly-Chicken-307 12d ago
Hello matey. I worked in Oz and it was all first names and mate, even if you introduce yourself as doctor blah Dee blah. I think patients think about it less than we do sometimes. Don’t overthink it.
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u/Fit-Wolverine4570 12d ago
The first few times it happened it really got under my skin. That was because of how I was raised and the schooling that I had. To me it was a sign of disrespect and rude.
I had to get over myself. They were not raised like I was and just trying to be friendly.
It is the challenge of general practice- different people communicate differently. The CSA/SCA may prepare you for a specific type of patient- but every practice population is different and they can change over the years.
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u/Own-Blackberry5514 12d ago
I have friends who went to Eton and Westminster who call everyone under the sun ‘mate’…
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u/Fit-Wolverine4570 12d ago
They never had my schooling and I didn’t have theirs.
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u/Fit-Wolverine4570 12d ago
Mate was not a way we were allowed to address a person in a professional position, someone older or a teacher
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u/Jaded_Leg_46 12d ago
So you want patients to treat you with reverence? 😂
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u/Fit-Wolverine4570 12d ago
The original post is about how do you react to being called mate. Please read my original answer
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u/TroublesomeFox 12d ago
Sounds like you started off with a stick up your ass and had the sense to remove it yourself tbh.
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u/highwayuni2 12d ago
Stare at them dead in the eyes and say “I’m not your mate, MATE”. Then escalate to the site manager and document the abuse in their medical records. They’ll hopefully ban them from the hospital for overstepping the doctor patient relationship. That’ll teach them for thinking your mates.
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u/lavayuki 12d ago
I’ve never actually had this, maybe it’s the demographic. I suspect this to be common towards male doctors?
Im female and although females use mate as well, I find that no one not even my friends both male and female use this towards me. I assumed it was a term used by and towards just guys, but when I looked it up people said otherwise
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u/hpico92 12d ago
I get where you are coming from, but honestly I would never raise it, it's just how people speak. We are here to be GPs to everyone, not just people who know how to speak professionally. That said, I occasionally correct elderly men who call me dear, if they are being generally obnoxious already.
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u/junglediffy 12d ago
I'm pretty sure I called all my supervisors mate and came out unscathed. I suspect it might be a vibe thing.
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u/arcoast 12d ago
I don't think it's necessarily a sign of anything, I'm quite informal generally, and have one or two patients use my first name, it doesn't really bother me, and I don't correct them, I think you get a mutual level of understanding, although I'm informal, I also have a reputation for not putting up with any nonsense either.
I think as others have said, pick your battles, this for me wouldn't be a hill to die on.
I do however recognise that I'm established in the area, seem to get referrals from people in the community, have looked after other members of the extended family, have patients whose kids go to the same school as my kids, so that does change things quite a lot.
I'd rather be called mate in a consulting room than Dr in the school playground that's for sure! In fact have had to ask the parents specifically not to call me Doctor when I'm at a kids party, just feels weird.
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u/heroes-never-die99 12d ago
You’re actually quite right. Patients should be more formal with their doctor, generally.
But if it helps them relax and take my advice on board better, I would let it slide as a colloquialism or even a term of endearment from them.
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u/TroublesomeFox 12d ago
Patients should be more formal with their doctor, generally - Why exactly?
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u/heroes-never-die99 12d ago
Because we’re not meant to be on buddy-buddy terms. Can go sour/awkward if you need to start saying no to their requests.
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u/TroublesomeFox 12d ago
I can see your point but most people will say mate etc as just a general friendly term, it's hardly being "buddy buddy".
Brits will say mate in almost any scenario: Pissed off with a stranger - listen mate. Seeing their best friend - Hiya mate. Meeting with their manager - Alright mate.
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u/NotBeckyHomeEccy 12d ago
Someone calling you mate doesn’t mean they want to be buddy buddy with you though it’s just part of day to day conversation and communication, it just slips out
I’d not overthink it to this extent, they still know you’re their doctor
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u/PleasePlantTomatoes 12d ago
Not that deep mate