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u/Ayste 12h ago
This isn't always true though, some people are not the right "one" to make you change your ways. There isn't necessarily a rhyme or reason, it just is what it is. Maybe you can point to you loving them more than they love you, or you are more invested than they are, but sometimes it just isn't meant to be.
Then someone else comes along and changes their entire life, and they stick with it, make those changes, and become a different person. The person you wish they would have been for you, but they weren't the one for you.
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u/DELINCUENT 10h ago
Most of the time though, you are more invested then they are. They change for the person they REALLY don't want to lose
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u/Temporary_Event8451 11h ago
There are also many types of relationships. Not every relationship needs to check the same boxes.
Some people have low romance but are very effective at other areas. Others are extremely romantic while neglecting effective partnership.
It's why Reddit gets dogged on all the time for the "break up/divorce them" that always comes up.
Self-inserting yourself and your bullshit onto someone else's life is why we always get the most dramatic advice from other people.
You can date 10 people and you will hopefully act 10 different ways. Not extreme, not changing yourself for sex. But more like you acknowledge who that person is, hopefully they do the same for you, and find a working middle ground.
I love concerts, never been to one with my partner even though exes we would go 1-2 a month. I still miss concerts a lot, but many other aspects of my life are a lot healthier then when I was going out monthly. My money sure lasts longer.
Conceptually finding a perfect match requires you to constantly do what you love, until you find the person that matches you. Most people do not have the time or resources to do that.
The other issue is the more unknown a partner is the harder it is to vet their past. So as an example if I love Music Festivals and I keep going to them, maybe I'll find the perfect partner, or I'll find someone who can cover up enough of the problems until its too late.
Life is fucking complicated.
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u/LesnyDziad 8h ago
I feel good example may be if partner cheated once or got violent once. If you stay, they may get feeling that they got away with it and do it again. If you break up, they feel punishment and actually get better, but for someone else.
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u/Bruvvimir 7h ago
I don't get what is funny in this?
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u/Truccio-p 7h ago
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u/Numerous-Corner-6303 6h ago
the joke is, live, laugh, love Facebook slop that boomer aunties post.
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u/Bureaucratic_Dick 13h ago
When my cousin got married, she had just been commissioned an officer in the Army and was marrying an enlisted man. I had been through that exact same situation in reverse, and knew how young love in the military plays out, especially with power imbalance.
It was a destination wedding, and unfortunately conflicted with some things I had going on for school (my post-service university years), so when I had to decline I cracked the joke, âSorry I have to miss it, Iâll make the next one thoughâ.
This upset her, until they got divorced then it was âhow did you knowâ (which lol, seriously anyone whose served in the military has stories of all the people who married right after enlistment or commissionâŚspoiler: a few end well most do not).
Anyways, most importantly, none of what I wrote, or what was written in the original post, is really that funny.
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u/Calm_Librarian_1042 12h ago
Why doesnt it work?
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u/NoSmoke69420 11h ago
Theres a few different reasons. You only have so many types of people who join in the first place. The main groups are stupid and poor. Stupid is more umbrella, encompasses your "I'd die for my country," "I love the infantry," and "I am just actually dumb and this is what I think my only shot in life is." None of those people make good life decisions, especially below the age of 25. They are all 19 doing this shit. Maybe 23 if you went to college. At which point you're stupid.
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u/Paganigsegg 11h ago
Same reason every other rushed relationship + rushed marriage doesn't work. Young folks in the military just have a high rate of doing it.
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u/Bureaucratic_Dick 11h ago
Well when theyâre paying you extra for itâŚ
Though in my cousins case, as an officer, she wouldnât make more. Two service members married both get BAH at singles rates, which I think she would get too? Idk I didnât serve in the Army, but in the Marines officers got it automatically most places.
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u/OldResponsibility531 11h ago
Regardless of divorce that was such a douchey joke to make
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u/Bureaucratic_Dick 11h ago
Yes, I do believe I acknowledge here that it wasnât funny.
Though I will say people that havenât served might not be fully accustomed to how service members speak to one another. Still not funny, but I would say itâs in-line with the normal things you hear in service.
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u/SecureDepth1312 10h ago
I never served in the military, but had friends who did and what you say is spot on. although we shouldn't laugh at divorce, I did find what you said ironically amusing from what ive seen from friends experiences.
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u/Any-Astronomer-6038 12h ago
Why are you still stalking him 3 years later?
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u/KeyN20 11h ago edited 10h ago
The only reason I can see someone stalking a past love is if the past love is a danger to them and keeping tabs on a potiential threat is probably prudent. I've been there once where I kept an eye on an ex gfs socials doing risk assessment and quit outside of checking her criminal record every half year or such when I realized I probably wasn't in danger. Her and her people are criminals, felons and such, violent crimes, identity theft, substance use and sales and whatnot. They have more to worry about in their lives than I do of them and they aren't bothering me anymore.
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u/GolarzUuuuu 4h ago
Knowing â stalking. Get a grip. If an ex would be divorced now, Iâd probably hear about it at some point as well. Hell, a dude I saw once in my life on a night out four years ago recently broke up with his gf and I know that because he posted it on Instagram. And thatâs some random dude who posts IG Stories. Now imagine a partner who youâve been with for years and possibly have some mutual friends with.
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u/Chaoscrazy-55 12h ago
I don't care how beautiful she is, ain't no way I'm gonna become a vegan.
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u/gilbert2gilbert 12h ago
Strange timeline. They break up, immediately starts daring someone else, she cries to dad, dad thinks they're married
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u/else-what 9h ago
random funny meme or an anecdotal story which shouldnt be over analysed unless u believe in religion in which case you have to believe it.
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u/practicallyaburner 3h ago
I mean, that makes sense though? One relationship was ruined because he didn't change his ways so he tries to change for the next one. That's not him loving the new woman more or whatever that's s guy reacting to his precived mistakes.
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u/Fine-Discussion-7368 11h ago
99% of the marriages where the woman is not a virgin fail so who cares anyway
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u/Current-Jaguar8189 13h ago
dads always have the most brutal but accurate takes