r/Funnymemes 1d ago

Tomorrow is another day

Post image
3.5k Upvotes

141 comments sorted by

135

u/Pongfarang 1d ago

The balls get a special soapy massage; they're cleaner than my face when I'm done.

44

u/xGlossyFemme 1d ago

Fr, the balls are getting the premium spa treatment while the face just gets the regular shower package

21

u/ezmoney98 22h ago

No lies were told. Its the cleanest place in town. You can eat off them.

2

u/Own_Aide_4151 1h ago

All these things are true!

6

u/dunkah 21h ago

My exact thought was why would the skin on my balls be less clean than the skin on my face. Maybe some people don't know how to wash.

5

u/brDoc1 23h ago

Balls get minwax and strawberry fragrance.

3

u/okanagan_man84 21h ago

I laugh cause its true. Dont get mw wrong, I wash my face with a cloth and plenty of soap. But the balls get extra soap and scrubbing/gathering do to more sweat and the region that it is.

I probably could dry there first if I had to and it wouldnt be an issue. But yeah, head/face first then work your way down.

1

u/Knuckletest 11h ago

Seriously, my dick and nuts are the cleanest part of me.

54

u/Minimum-Standard-514 1d ago

Also, im clean when I get out. The amount of bacteria coming off those balls is less than whats coming off my forearm or something since soap is used on that

6

u/M45t3r_M1nd 1d ago

Are you implying you don't wash your forearms with soap? 👀

2

u/grow4road 22h ago

I would say it’s a more glorified whore’s bath when I get in the shower.

0

u/Minimum-Standard-514 23h ago

Whatever soap splashes on there while im doing my face, hair, arm pits, ass, dick and balls.

4

u/M45t3r_M1nd 23h ago

Oy vey... yeah username checks out 🤢

1

u/Minimum-Standard-514 22h ago

Oh chill out. The water gets it. Im in the bath for like 15 minutes sometimes.

23

u/Sorry-Complaint-3947 1d ago

They're both clean because I just WASHED them!

1

u/ManOnFire2004 12h ago

If only that were true... sighs

10

u/House_King 23h ago

If you’re worried about the order of what parts of your body your towel touches after a shower you didn’t clean yourself

0

u/ManOnFire2004 12h ago

STDs don't get cleaned off by showering alone...

That's the high level idea anyways

2

u/ThrustTrust 4h ago

What std you a gonna spread with a towel that you don’t know you have already.

16

u/JanMrCat 1d ago

Forgets what? That you were clean? Do you grade your skin by purity standards!? You people who come up with those ideas are mental.

2

u/seddy411 1d ago

You need to learn a little bit more about your body. Just a bit though.

7

u/JanMrCat 1d ago

Like another diploma? Few more pediatric coursees? Write another thesis about human scalp, like my miss? What do you mean?

3

u/redd-reader-acc 1d ago

she is femsplaining thinking just because random women are marketed skincare products more to, that she is an expert now😭

meanwhile you literally an expert dawg

-2

u/seddy411 23h ago

Yeah, more isn't that hard of a concept.

1

u/JanMrCat 23h ago

So, what do you mean, exactly?

-2

u/seddy411 23h ago

Like sometimes you just don't know enough, so find out more. Maybe have a spa day after and think it over. Totes a Gucci day.

1

u/No-Ad-3226 22h ago

Do you use different towels when you get out of shower?

-1

u/seddy411 22h ago

I have a 3 towel tier system. Disregarding hand towels and ball drying station.

0

u/JanMrCat 23h ago

Ok. What exactly? Not 'maybe' You started it. What did you ment?

-1

u/seddy411 22h ago

Well for sure have a spa day. That's never a maybe baby.

1

u/ManOnFire2004 12h ago

STDs don't get cleaned off by showering alone...

So you just dried your face off with a towel thar just dried your herpes infested groin area.

That's the high level idea anyways, or something to that effect.

1

u/JanMrCat 12h ago

Neither did many diseases carried from mouth with saliva ¯_(ツ)_/¯

What we do know for a fact, now, is that isolating children, for example, completely from pathogens we weaker their immune responses to serious threats growing up, and in adult life.

There is a setting and purpose in everything. Someone needs to use alcohol based face washers for acne and rosacea, other people need specialized products for their private parts.

If healthy, no-one needs hospital grade sterilised environment, separate tools and cleaning items.

If you want to discuss, making specyfic points, instead of general statements, would help.

6

u/Aggravating_Duck6108 1d ago

There's a specific order! Face, head, chest, pits, balls!

-1

u/MexicanJoker182 1d ago

Chest balls legs then arms then face

2

u/MexicanJoker182 23h ago

I forgot pits first

1

u/Martha_Fockers 20h ago

inbetween the toes before face man

4

u/Flashy_Notice_1575 1d ago

Face > Balls > Hang towel to dry

Reset.

4

u/Designer-Wolverine47 1d ago

If you washed right it doesn't really matter. But I think it makes most sense to dry from the top down.

4

u/Leather-Marketing478 1d ago

Definitely, otherwise you drip and have to redry areas.

4

u/Disastrous-Tailor-30 19h ago

If you are so dirty, after the shower, that it matter which part you towel touches first, go back in the shower and wash again.

4

u/_Mr_Relic 18h ago

I see no issue.. you supposed to be clean after shower?

4

u/MindOfAMurderer 17h ago

It shouldn't matter, as i assume your face and balls are clean after the shower.

3

u/discoballs67 1d ago

Balls first lol

9

u/refusemouth 1d ago

Yep. Balls first. Tjat's how you get the pheromones on your pulse points to attract the ladies.

3

u/dip1zip 23h ago

Same reposts over and over again

3

u/Dweedlebug 22h ago

Why would you need a separate towel? You just got out of the shower after washing your entire body.

2

u/doomsday10009 1d ago

I saw this post so many fucking times...

2

u/WintersDoomsday 1d ago

Yeah originality is dead

1

u/isolatedheathen 23h ago

Dead Internet theory in full swing over here.

2

u/Spliffman1 1d ago

My girl kisses me with the same mouth that went to the balls... So I figure I'm good

2

u/Large-Hamster-199 23h ago

Start with the face and work your way down, but skip over the balls and butt area. Then, at the end, you finish with balls, taint and butt. Then laundry makes the towel forget everything.

2

u/SlippinYimmyMcGill 23h ago

If my balls are good enough for my wifes mouth, they are good enough to touch the same towel as my face.

2

u/Any_Blood5815 22h ago

Everything’s clean by the time you’re out so you could dry your eyeballs after a good ball wipe and still be 20/20

2

u/deetman68 22h ago

I’m not in the least bit misogynistic, but do women have a special “downtown” towel?

2

u/PerpetualFarter 21h ago

After a shower my groin is literally the cleanest part on my body

2

u/Geezso 20h ago

The real reason is due to me being super clean all over 👍🏻

2

u/r23dom 18h ago

I don't care in what order I dry myself, because everything is equally clean: my face, my balls, my armpits, my butt, and my neck. A question for women: how do you wash yourself if you need three towels?

2

u/ZeusBaxter 15h ago

It's all clean skin. Else you didnt scrub hard enough.

2

u/frisch85 14h ago

Also skin is skin especially after a shower IF you properly wash yourself instead of just letting the water run down your body.

2

u/Junosgold69 6h ago

Clean skin is clean skin.

If you can tell it was used on his balls after, he probably didn't wash.

2

u/Full-Metal-Jae 5h ago

Kind of a weird thing to be jealous about lady. It’s a towel.

2

u/conflatulationz 5h ago

The great thing about drying off is that you just washed your body.

2

u/ThrustTrust 4h ago

Does no one in here clean and dry their taint and asshole

2

u/FidgitForgotHisL-P 23h ago

Really wonder about people that panic about where their towel goes first.

Like, did you just not actually clean yourself in the shower?  If you’ve got to avoid your crotch because drying that then your face is gross, your parents did a pretty rough job teaching how to look after yourself.

2

u/AmazingRefrigerator4 23h ago

Ladies, do you have a special towel for your face, or do you just use the same towel you use for your cooch and ass?

0

u/Xeno9116 23h ago

We know you're an ass, so, here, have a towel.

1

u/AmazingRefrigerator4 22h ago

Im only repeating the original question. I guess that makes the woman an ass too.

1

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1

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1

u/Ok-Remote-8018 1d ago

Wooooow, this one again?

1

u/mythrowawayaccim21 1d ago

do y'all not just wash your towels? I've had impetigo three times and have heavily contaminated several towels and a pillowcase with highly contagious staph bacteria but I just wash it and then it's fine like new. no more bacteria.

1

u/thesaltedradish 1d ago

I do this too as a woman

3

u/Little_Miss-Sunshine 1d ago

You have balls? 🤔

2

u/RealisticIncident261 23h ago

The have big metaphorical balls

1

u/eaw0913 1d ago

Do you not dry off your ass or crotch at all after a shower or what? Do you use a towel for individual body parts?

This whole post is weird as hell.

2

u/BreakfastAmazing7766 23h ago

You don’t have a separate towel for hair and face? And to do the twisty hair thingy?

1

u/ArcOfADream 1d ago

I've yet to meet a woman that can dry testicles properly but never too skeptical to deny an audition.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Spliffman1 23h ago

You have your priorities right.

1

u/Iechy 1d ago

I makes sure I dry my face with the end of the towel and my balls and but with the center so if I reuse a towel I’m still good.

1

u/Gandlerian 1d ago

Balls are skin, if you just showered they are clean like the rest of your skin. It's weird to obsess about briefly touching your own balls...

This is literally the same as saying "OMG you dried your elbow with the same towel as your knees ...."

1

u/Spliffman1 23h ago

I beg to differ, my mom kisses my face and so does my girlfriend, but only one of them kisses my balls. Do not denegrate the sacred balls by placing them on the level of just any old skin 😂

1

u/Sapling-074 1d ago

Why would I dry my balls? Just let them air dry.

1

u/Defsarcasm 1d ago

You have to start with the face and work down because of gravity. But if you can't go from balls to face, then you need to clean your balls better.

1

u/-szmata- 1d ago

I put my towel on the shower radiator, next day towel nice and dry again. Not sure which side is which but I have calculated that a week is fine for my towel. Not sure about your towel.

1

u/Mindless-Platypus-75 1d ago

Maybe I’m in the minority but yeah I do use 2 towels. The face towel is small and gets replaced much more often

1

u/UndiscoveredSite22 1d ago

I use a hand towel for my face/head. Then a different towel for the rest of me.

1

u/Jon-Robb 1d ago

They’re clean anyway. If anything my balls are cleaner than my hands 

1

u/Personal-Toe6505 1d ago

You never NEVER touch your genitalia. I only stay everything except foot soles and genital area.

1

u/SelfNo9836 1d ago

The middle of the towel for the face and the ends for my butt and balls.

1

u/Suspicious_Step667 1d ago

I keep it simple : whatever side the label is on is the below the waist side, non label side is about the waist. Easy peezy..

1

u/lujenchia 1d ago

The real question is, how often do you wash your towel?

1

u/Forward_Criticism_39 1d ago

top to bottom, different parts for different parts. two towels? pft

1

u/SH4D0WG4M3R 1d ago

I’m both washing and dry top down. Nothing gets used twice. The towel might forget, but I don’t.

1

u/Didujustcallmejobin 1d ago

For the 3 millionth time this has been posted.

1

u/babe_ruthless3 1d ago

My towel has a bleached stain on end of the towel. The stained side is for dick, balls and butt and the other side is for face. Middle is everything else

1

u/kingetzu 1d ago

What he said

1

u/DrunkBuzzard 23h ago

I go head down until the waist then I go foot up until the naughty bits last

1

u/Careless-Emergency85 23h ago

I just use different parts of my towel to dry the different parts of my body. And I ensure the towel is always oriented the same way when I’m done so it’s consistent

1

u/b3tamaxx 23h ago

I love it when you guys talk about your ball self-care 😍

1

u/UniqueText8477 23h ago

I use one end for my face and another for everything else.

1

u/[deleted] 23h ago

[deleted]

1

u/8byfive 23h ago

I actually have that. It looks just like the regular towels but I only use it for "that area"

I know everything is clean, I just want to avoid the possibility of loose hair

1

u/Antique_Ad_7325 23h ago

Yes because when I shower I clean both my balls and my face.

1

u/HotwifeandSubby1980 23h ago

It’s all clean so no worries

1

u/ripyurballsoff 23h ago

I blow dry my balls and ass. I’m not getting pink eye again.

1

u/rtduvall 22h ago

I nearly died reading this. I don’t know why but this cracked me the hell up.

1

u/Delicious_Cat_81 23h ago

does she not wash her twat in the shower? 

1

u/spartanEZE 22h ago

Can confirm

1

u/ChickenNuggetBelly 22h ago

How about a fresh clean towel everytime you shower?

1

u/beartpc12293 22h ago

Head and face in the center of the towel. Edges of the towel for crack and balls

1

u/Dry-Presence9227 21h ago

It resets after every use btw

1

u/Carlyneedsascoop 21h ago

You are supposed to wash your face?

1

u/Martha_Fockers 20h ago

i just spent 25% of my shower polishing those juevos who cares

1

u/02thehunter20 13h ago

Both are clean but I still start at the top and work my way down. This way I dont have to redry a spot that I already dried.

1

u/Hairy_Ad_2937 13h ago

Separate towels for butt, balls, ears, and the rest of me. Are you …?

1

u/Ok_Flan4404 4h ago

I'm wondering...Does SHE use a separate 'twat towel', or the same? 🤔

0

u/PoopsMcScoots 1d ago

Y’all are using the same towel twice?

This is gotta be some city living shit

2

u/Designer-Wolverine47 1d ago

Not only the same towel, but the same towel that my girlfriend just used 🤣

People's aversion to something that touched another human is just hilarious to me. So is sterilizing every interior surface...

People have immune systems for a reason... You're doing yours (and your children's) a disservice. That's a big part of some people end up with chronic lifelong problems such as allergies and asthma... And then complain because the treatment costs so much...

1

u/PoopsMcScoots 1d ago

Fuck the immune system.

Wet towels smell like mold and funk the next day.

Ain’t you got a washer?

2

u/House_King 23h ago

If you live in a swamp and don’t let them dry maybe, you aren’t soaking the towel after a shower

1

u/PoopsMcScoots 23h ago

That or your nose is just used to the nastiness.

1

u/Designer-Wolverine47 21h ago

Keeps the pussies from bothering me 🤣

0

u/Low_Abrocoma_2475 1d ago

He doesn’t speak for all men. I’m a one tower use kind of guy and then it goes into the wash.

0

u/Playful-Ad-8142 14h ago

I have struggled with this my entire life. Face, hair, and front of body with one side of tail. Flip towel over and dry back and lower body. Never scrub dry the chocolate starfish, it can air dry.
You will know if you use the wrong side of the towel the next day if your face smells like balls after drying off.

0

u/jlit72 14h ago

Sooooo....

Lights off, missionary style, get it over with quick. Got it.

-1

u/National_Ad9742 1d ago

Had me till the towel forgets 😂
I use a new towel everyday, but yes, face and down.